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Saga - Legends Kaleidoscope Candles – Long Gone 'verse, NEW - Part 3/3 + replies posted 5-9

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Kahara, Dec 14, 2014.

  1. Kahara

    Kahara Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 3, 2001
    Gemma

    Warning, although a minor one: brief mention of smoking by background characters.

    Thank you to Nyota's Heart for beta reading this story! :)


    Can't Look Away - Part 3/3

    It’s incredible how many tactical difficulties Echo Base presents as a location for making out. Mara begins to have a grudging admiration for the intrepid Rebels who somehow manage to create the dramas that go around the gossip mill. Space, furniture, and privacy are all at a premium. And lest she forget, it’s colder than tauntaun snot. This new thing between her and Luke is so unformed that neither of them really cares to suggest going back to quarters for complete solitude. So they’re left wandering the halls with arms interlinked, searching for the mythical quiet corner.

    The south passage seems like a promising prospect, but turns out to be already occupied.

    “I think I’m traumatized,” Luke murmurs as they back out with all haste.

    “Oh, hush.” She looks at him curiously. “You don’t approve of them?”

    “It’s not that. Not exactly. I mean, Han is my friend too and I know he’s not what people might think. Stang, he’s worth ten of any of the twits who complain about his past. It’s just hard to get used to, I guess,” he says thoughtfully.

    “Well, I suppose I’d be a little uncomfortable if I ran across my sister kissing someone too. Though part of that’s because I’ve never seen Scout so much as look at anybody that way.” Mara tries to imagine the Mandalorian-Jedi going moon-eyed over a crush and can’t help but laugh. “No. I think she’s a bit Old Republic.”

    “Am I going to get a stern lecture for leading her impressionable Padawan astray?” He’s teasing her, but there’s a hint of question in the wrinkling of his forehead. It is something that she also has a few ponderings about too. This new development between them will change every other major relationship in their lives, even if only subtly.

    “Luke, Scout doesn’t have any impressionable Padawans. She has a homicidal little sister who likes to play with knives.”

    “True.” They leave it at that, for now. Time enough to deal with the rest of the galaxy later.

    The downtime areas of the base are a little bit less frigid, but also chock full of the other Rebel personnel and their chatter. Mara aims her “dare you to comment” smirk at the Rogues as she and Luke pass by that particular nexus of chaos and cigarra smoke. Janson gives her a thumbs-up from where he’s sitting with his new buzz cut, all grudges apparently forgotten for the moment. She answers that with a real smile. The Rogues are a bunch of maladjusted hooligans, but she honestly likes them. Good thing, since they’ll probably be seeing more of each other in the future.

    There’s a lively card game taking place at the corner table that the Force adepts and students working with the Alliance have been unofficially exiled to for all such games. Mara recognizes Korto and Runab, but there are a handful of others unknown to her: a Revwien Thuwisten burbling away at the rest as he, she, or some unknown plant gender pronoun knocks back a tumbler of nitrogen infusion; a human woman of about Mara’s age with darker red hair – no long-lost relation, she notes with some relief at the lack of a familial Force resonance; a wiry old man bundled up in about three times as much winter clothing as the rest; and a purple Twi’lek who spends half the time scribbling something onto the sheet of flimsy laid on the table beside her. The conversation at the table seems to revolve around how they are all confident that the other parties are cheating with the Force.

    Luke chuckles after they’re out of range. “They’re hunting up the wrong wroshyr tree. Shelvay’s going to clean them all out because he doesn’t need the Force to cheat – he’s a card krakana.”

    “Figures. One of your aunt’s old Jedi friends?”

    “Yeah. I think she recruits them from Chalmun’s Cantina back in Mos Eisley. Or at least somewhere like it.”

    “She got me from a sinkhole on Utapau. Literally.”

    “I know.” She ruffles his hair at that, just because.

    Luke turns to a new room. “Here we are. I thought this place would be empty and it is.”

    “Aha! The gazebo.” Mara uses the popular nickname for the room, which demonstrates a bit of a mistake in architecture. The designers must have thought to give Echo Base’s residents a room with a window to the outside world, using non-reflective transparisteel walls that were formulated to be hidden from aerial view. What was not considered was just how depressing the outside of Hoth is most of the time. It’s the one room where nobody goes unless they have to, for the most part.

    She waves at the ceiling where snow drifts have piled up to block the sun again. “Nice view of –“

    “—snow”, they finish in unison. “And more snow. Snow, snow, snooooooooowwwww.” It’s the old chant known to anyone who has been on Echo Base for about ten seconds or more.

    Still, someone has been kind enough to leave a few large, overstuffed chairs in the room. Mara tries to picture how this shipment ended up on Hoth and gives up. She’s just too tired to think. Her interrupted night’s sleep is catching up with her. The two of them curl up together in a chair that is almost large enough and Mara leans back into his warmth. This certainly beats the other ways she’s heard of keeping body heat on Hoth.

    “You’re so much better than a dead tauntaun, Luke.”

    “Why, thank you. That means a lot to me.” He snorts. “I strongly recommend against the tauntaun thing unless you absolutely must.”

    “Han said you were really messed up when they brought you in.” She’s experiencing the clenched-heart feeling that she identifies as “pacing” these days – the one that gives her insomnia and makes her wander about the base being even crankier than usual, according to witnesses.

    “It wasn’t great. But I’m fine now. And that won’t happen again.”

    “No, something else will happen instead. You’re really dependable about finding new and different ways to nearly die.”

    “I don’t find them so much as they find me, I think.”

    “Huh. What does your Master Yoda say about that?”

    Luke makes a harrumphing sound and she immediately pushes him in the shoulder.

    “No you don’t! Don’t you even think of it!”

    “Ahem.” The imitation of the little green Jedi Master’s voice is so spot on it’s beyond disturbing. “Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things.”

    “Gah, Luke! Stop it!” She’s about to die of laughter, or fall off the chair. One or the other. He has to be stopped. “The last thing I want to be hearing right now is Master Yoda – no offence to the gremlin.”

    To ensure that the dramatic interpretations cease, she turns her head and kisses him. This feels just as strong, but less frantic than before, and she thinks that she can probably stay awake and do this until they come to fetch her and Luke for their next assignments. But at some point she’s leaning on his shoulder and closes her eyes, just for a minute. Occasionally she half-wakes, feeling the slow breathing of his chest in sleep.

    The holo that Luke’s squadmates take of this scene shows him and Mara pillowed against each other and resting peacefully, with a variety of lightweight objects piled on top: gauze, pieces of flimsy, chunks of packing foam, and feathers. Apparently the Rogues are inspired by some holonet meme about seeing how many things one can pile on a pittin without waking the creature from its slumber.

    Hobbie has no idea that Mara doesn’t dispose of the picture after she snatches the camera right out of his hand right as she awakens from a sound sleep, since he is a bit busy running away with the rest of his friends at that point. It’s a silly, sappy, undignified image and she immediately decides to keep it forever. Everyone in the Rebellion seems to have their own personal flame they light to remember what they fight for. This one will be hers.



    Notes:

    Revwien (http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Revwien) – plant-based species.

    Thuwisten (http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Thuwisten) – practitioners of the Tyia (http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Tyia), a Force tradition and religion that originated with the Revwien species.

    The unnamed characters at the table are Wuwuhuul (http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Wuwuhuul), Fable Astin (http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Fable_Astin), and Rachi Sitra (http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Rachi_Sitra).

    Corwin Shelvay (http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Corwin_Shelvay)

    Krakana (http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Krakana) – an aquatic predator.

    Chalmun’s Cantina (http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Chalmun's_Spaceport_Cantina)

    Pittin (http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Pittin)

    As for the prank, it was inspired by seeing this book a while ago: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/stuff-on-my-cat-mario-garza/1112495733?ean=9780811855389
     
  2. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Game Host star 7 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    AWWWWWW! :D and LOL

    Terrific warm and fuzzy blended with funny at the same time! :) I love seeing them bantering and cuddling. ;)

    Love that she keeps the holo. :D And what I really really adore is that there are less barriers so coming together is natural and easier, not as thorny as in TTT, understandably. [face_thinking] You do also get a sense of their shared history/missions together, which have worked to forge their friendship. :cool:
     
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  3. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 14, 2005
    “Ahem.” The imitation of the little green Jedi Master’s voice is so spot on it’s beyond disturbing. “Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things.”

    “Gah, Luke! Stop it!” She’s about to die of laughter, or fall off the chair. One or the other. He has to be stopped. “The last thing I want to be hearing right now is Master Yoda – no offence to the gremlin.”

    Fun, that you call Master Yoda gremlin. I immensely enjoyed this fun update! The best thing about this couple is their warm, fuzzy humour. @};-
     
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  4. JadeLotus

    JadeLotus Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2005
    This was a great ending! This was a lovely read and I'm enjoying seeing more in this universe.

    The south passage seems like a promising prospect, but turns out to be already occupied.

    Ha, of course it was! I love Luke being slightly uncomfortable with Han and Leia, but still defending Han as "worth ten" of anyone who looked down on his origins.

    I love the appearance of the Rogues, as well as the small changes evident in this universe's Rebellion with multiple Jedi and padawans running about, such as the unofficial banning of Force-users from the card games. Very nice touch.

    “No, something else will happen instead. You’re really dependable about finding new and different ways to nearly die.”

    [face_laugh] Ain't that the truth! Lovely that Luke and Mara can be the port in each other's storm, and of course the Rogues would play that kind of prank! Hilarious.
     
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  5. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    LOl @ the South Passage makeout point. BWAHAHAHA.

    Took me a bit to get the chronology right and to realise that Luke already knows Leia is his sister. Darn, and I was about to make a joke about how he felt she was his sister through the Force.

    “No. I think she’s a bit Old Republic.” - Needs to be added to that fanon post with slang.

    “She got me from a sinkhole on Utapau. Literally.” - Heeeee. :D


    She waves at the ceiling where snow drifts have piled up to block the sun again. “Nice view of –“

    “—snow”, they finish in unison. “And more snow. Snow, snow, snooooooooowwwww.” It’s the old chant known to anyone who has been on Echo Base for about ten seconds or more.




    I enjoyed Luke and Mara's cuddle scene, it was realistic and the way I assume it really is like when two people into each other cuddle. The banter all along is fun, too; especially the “No, something else will happen instead. You’re really dependable about finding new and different ways to nearly die.” line. Bwahahaha.

    And of course...there's a dead animal reference. As you do. Not an actual dead animal to curl up next to, as you do, but yeah, a dead animal reference. Because cute cuddle scenes are not cute enough without dead animals. EP is still flattered.

    The last sentence opens the door to the 'verse and tells us that there will be more of this, so that is precisely what I am hoping for.

    ----------

    Replies to your replies to my comments:

    Can't Look Away


    I am glad that my first glance at part 1 was spot-on. The first chapter was an information dump and a "hey, look, Ahsoka Tano" thing compared to the other two which were - sort of - action. :D

    Regarding both replies about their age and characterisation; perhaps I consider your approach better because I had no idea of Luke outside of the OT for so many years?! Hmmm... either way, to me, awkwardness IS more common at their current age; which does not mean some people are not still awkward at 25, 30, 35 etc. I would be curious to see how would you write them at a later age.

    I am so much obsessed with writing third troopers on the left it’s not even funny, as you well know from reading the Unquiet Waters stories.

    *cackle*


    Now this I have got to hear more about! :D Korto is an interesting unresolved mystery in Legends. I suppose “and they all disappeared forever” is about the happiest ending that canon could have given his family, but it does provide plot bunnies!

    An unresolved mystery equals two Endorian plot bunnies. Kriffing. What comes out of it is Korto's future.

    Well, if my subconscious got it from there then I think my subconscious must have good taste in fics. ;) That’s a really interesting set of parallels, and no I hadn’t thought of it consciously. But it’s very interesting! [face_thinking]

    And it continued in the third chapter, as I pointed out. Now I wonder if the summer story will be as influential to, say, subconsciously get you to send these two to some tropical planet and SPOILER.

    Illumination

    :) It was sad to learn how little Leia actually had contact with Padme in the films, so yes -- in a way, this was a form of retrieving those cherished memories that we got just a glimpse of from Leia in ROTJ. I do think that it's entirely possible that she did have some real recollection of her mother through the Force, which is the tactic that I used here. Children aren't as organized in their thoughts as adults, so I think a very young Leia might have been more open to a Force vision or echo of sorts (not knowing what it was.)

    I did want to ask if this was the same concept as in AzureAngel2's fic where Lucien can remember his own birth! Anyway, I liked that concept.

    As for the rest of the comment - you're welcome, it was a pleasure.
     
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  6. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 11, 2014
    I finally caught up on "Can't look away" last night and I have to say that it's one of the most out-of-the-box L/M stories I ever read =D= There's no way I can say everything I enjoyed about this story in a single post, so I'll go with a few favourite points.

    First: the fact that it's written in the present tense. That was a powerful trick to translate Mara's thought process to words. As a side note, the idea that she decided to befriend Luke in order to escape the Emperor's conditioning was a sheer stroke of brilliance. That's how AUs are done!

    Second: the teenage/youthful personalities of the characters, who remain however perfectly in-character. This doesn't apply only to Mara and Luke (ref: Wes and his pranks [face_laugh] ) but I'm still going to focus on them. I adored happy-go-lucky young Luke who curses in Huttese! And Mara's people skills remain kinda awkward ("I would really like it if you would kiss me right now. Really.” -- gee, that's the height of romance ;)) even though she's more willing to engage in introspection and dialogue about herself than in canon -- because this is and AU and she has to be the same but different.

    Third: their bond and the way they use the Force. Here again, I loved the subtle differences from canon. Of course Mara would be able to better control their bond and to "jump" on Luke -- she had years of training under the Emperor before being rescued by the Jedi, as opposed to Luke who is still an apprentice. And the way he uses the Force unconsciously on her was just awww.

    Fourth: the bits and pieces of trademark Kahara humour that had me laughing my head off. Again, too many to list, but here are a few faves:
    [face_rofl]
    Poor, poor kid.
    Again, the height of romance.
    [face_laugh]
    Fifth: the appearance of various other characters in background roles. Corwin Shelvay, yay! It's quite a collection of "third troopers from the left" you brought into this story, and seriously I don't think that anyone else on these boards could make it work the way you do. And the scene in the (in)famous south passage was another LOL-melt moment.

    Sixth:

    Okay, what can I say here? Squee? Awww? Squggles? Melty-melt? I just don't have enough interjections to qualify that. It was an AWESOME end.


    And now, you have homework to do. I want to know how Luke and Mara's bond came to be, so instead of being a horrible tease, why don't you figure out what happened on Mimban and Wayland?

    =D= =D= =D=
     
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  7. Gemma

    Gemma Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 25, 2013
    Adored the first kiss in part 2.

    The kissing and cuddling in Part 3 is just so romantic and the icing on the cake was them falling asleep and it being captured in a holo that Mara will treasure forever. :)@};-
     
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  8. ThreadSketch

    ThreadSketch Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 22, 2013
    STUFF ON MY CAT.COOOOOOOOOOOOM. *self-destructs with laughter* [face_rofl][face_rofl][face_rofl] Ahhhhhhh, my meme-tastic brethren! :D

    (In this case, though, it'd be Stuff On My Cinnamon Roll. :p)
     
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  9. Findswoman

    Findswoman Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    Can't Look Away

    OK, I'm not sure how on earth I managed to not comment on this excellent piece the first time I saw it. It's got that perfect Kahara blend of tenderness, lyricism, and humor all the way through.

    Hoth, aka "Frozen Shebs Fun Land" ( :D ), is in a way the perfect setting for this. It's in a place like that, isolated and deathly cold and at constant war with the elements, that interpersonal bonds of all kinds take on additional importance; good collegiality is a matter of life and death. We see that from the start in the good-natured banter and friendly pranks taking place (glue in Wes Janson's lush ebon locks—shocking! :p ) among these very diverse denizens of Echo Base. Central among these are Mara's interactions with her sister and with Luke, and it's fun that you have Luke occasionally making exasperated remarks in Huttese (which in my mind's ear has a sound similar to that of a young kid saying, "Oh, damn!" and not knowing that the resulting sound is more cute than intimidating. :p ).

    I remember coming across your AU about Mara's origins in Long Gone, and it's cool to see it expanded upon here. She and Scout work well as sisters, and the Mandalorian connection adds an interesting dimension to Mara's origins, given both the easing of their historical tensions with the Jedi and their staunch family-centeredness with the endless adopted siblings and cousins—so foreign to the solitary life Mara has led till now. And who but you could come up with that fantastic remark about "acquiring a small clan of armor-wearing lunatics"? [face_laugh] Love me, love my beskar'gam! In any case, my main point here is that this origin story is at once perfectly suited to Mara and directly opposite to her, which is cool. :cool:

    You do some really neat and creative things with Luke and Mara's Force linkage here, going deeper than the usual "reaching out in their bond." I just about squeed over the that little Force breeze just sort of "happens" when they meet each other—you know, the one Luke doesn't even realize he's causing—kind of reminds me of someone in one of my own stories! ;) And Mara's way of making him jump by pinging him in the Force is the perfect complement to that. Of course, on dark corollary to this, of course, is the way the Emperor's infamous Last Command still sometimes echoes in Mara's consciousness—I see that as being a Force effect too. But bright or dark, I just love to see these details about how these Force linkages and bonds actually work, and you've got a real talent for it.

    And now, on to The Kiss and its aftereffects. :D Very cool the way the Force may or may not be facilitating things here (not that Mara and Luke really care at this point). Absolutely spot-on banter leading up to both this moment and the gazebo cuddle, from the awkward stop-start to Luke's Yoda impression to the absolutely priceless "warmer than a dead tauntaun" remark—people don't talk like that to each other unless they're really and truly close. Both the kiss and the gazebo cuddle lose none of their genuine tenderness even if they were eventually viewed and pranked by the assembled denizens of the base, anooba whistles and random soft fuzzies and and all. And from her reactions to both, Mara herself certainly seems to feel that way!

    Really wonderful work depicting not just Luke and Mara but also Echo Base and the Rogues and this very cool AU of yours, which I hope we'll see more of! =D=
     
  10. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    I was...stoked when the intertextuality in our stories came up...

    ...and now we tied for the best canon relationship in Saga. This was the best thing that could have happened and I'm serious. I'm in three ties, but this is the one I'm totally fond of, because IT MAKES SENSE. <3 <3 <3 YAY!
     
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  11. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2002
    Good short story.

    Nice way to expand on the simple line in Return of the Jedi, regarding Leia's memory of her biological mother.

    You show good creativity for your own original fauna and flora, both in name and what they do.

    Also really liked the phrase, "the distilled essence of trouble"