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Saga Keeper of the Siege (Vader/Mara/Palpatine post-ROTS vignettes) Cover art added 11/12

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by TKeira_Lea, Sep 17, 2005.

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  1. TKeira_Lea

    TKeira_Lea Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 10, 2002
    KEEPER OF THE SIEGE


    I don?t know what I was thinking, but as I was reading the [link=http://boards.theforce.net/Fan_Fiction_Resource/b10304/21438531/?121]Mara Jade Character Discussion[/link] thread a plot bunny of enormous proportions bit me. Chomped down and wouldn?t let go with those mean nasty teeth.

    Somehow I ended up with a series similar to my Luke and Leia series - [link=http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/19927476/p1]Guardian in the Desert[/link] and [link=http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/20330922/p1]Guardian in the Mountains[/link]. Each is a set of vignettes chronicling the life of Luke and Leia between ROTS and ANH. I guess Mara was jealous and wanted one too. As with the others these will be posted as the inspiration strikes.

    This isn?t just Mara?s story, but also Vader?s too. I haven?t ever dared write Vader other than fleeting glimpses in previous stories. Nor have I tried my hand at Palpatine until now. Bear with me as I learn these characters.

    Kima, I hope I do your favorite lady justice. This one is for you. [:D]

    In the meantime, I hope everyone enjoys.

    As always, this is not my universe, I am simply playing in George's sandbox.

    [b][u]Inadvertent and Intentional[/u][/b]

    [image=http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y255/beechgq/InadvertentandUnintentionalCover.jpg]

    Fire lapped at the city. Infrastructure not pulverized in the bombardment melted in the intense heat. Smoke slipped through the devastation and danced on the grave of misfortune. Vader walked through this hell untouched.

    He was born of fire and raised on destruction. Ruin had become his lifeblood. He existed to be its master.

    The subharmonic whir of servomoters blended with the steady rhythm of footfalls as he continued his inspection. The clone commander had assured him of the city?s certain death ? air standards were falling rapidly, radiation levels would spike within a standard day ? but Vader, as always, had to see for himself.

    Clones rarely misjudged situations and it was bred out of their nature to lie. If they did happen to be mistaken, however, the punishment would be a quick and inglorious death. If Vader, on the other hand, trusted such a misjudgment and reported it back to the Emperor?

    If he could, Vader would have shivered. Palpatine had shed the comforting frock of supportive friendship the day Vader had taken the Sith oath. As a mentor he had been kind and forgiving. As a master, the Emperor was merciless and calculating. Every decision was made with critical regard; each consequence preordained. Failure to successfully carry out an order was unforgivable. The Sith mastermind tolerated no flaws in the complicated web of tyranny he had designed.

    No, Vader would never have the blessing of a quick and inglorious death; that would be kind and forgiving. He was damned to eternal torment inside this prison of his own making. The same suit that made it possible for him to walk these streets without risk of damage from the poisonous fumes or debilitating emissions could also serve as his torture chamber at the hands of the Emperor.

    And always he was too weak to fight back.

    Sometimes Vader wondered if Palpatine had even masterminded his rout at Mustafar. Standing on a platform overlooking the lavafields, he had believed he would achieve great power, then defeat the Sith Lord. He had believed he was still capable of bringing balance to the Force. But a single fateful swipe of his old master?s lightsaber not only had cleaved his body asunder ? the unlimited Force reserves the Chosen One had so often called upon now were dimmed like a candle left with a thin wick.

    Anakin of pure power had been left Darth Vader, a stomping, frightful monster.

    So Vader stomped through the burning rubble, making his inspection within the privacy of his thoughts. Sometimes he would hear the coughing cries of the dying, pleas for mercy, but he never paid them the least bit of attention. Their fates were sealed; they were the lucky ones. Soon >
     
  2. Darth_Lex

    Darth_Lex Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 17, 2002
    First reply? Woohoo! [face_dancing]

    Awesome start, Evil Partner. =D=

    And you got my 2500th post. [face_batting]

    Back with more in a bit. ;)

    [edit] Back! :D

    I don?t know what I was thinking
    No comment. 8-} No, seriously, EP, it?s wonderful to see your muse flowing freely again. [:D] At this rate you?ll give Karen Traviss a run for her money (literally! :D ) in no time. ;)

    I haven?t ever dared write Vader other than fleeting glimpses in previous stories. Nor have I tried my hand at Palpatine until now. Bear with me as I learn these characters.
    Uh huh. :rolleyes: One post and you?ve got these two Sith Lords, and their diabolically dysfunctional relationship, down cold. =D=

    He was born of fire and raised on destruction. Ruin had become his lifeblood. He existed to be its master.
    Yikes! What a chilling description of the early Darth Vader. And spot on, too. [face_devil]

    But a single fateful swipe of his old master?s lightsaber not only had cleaved his body asunder ? the unlimited Force reserves the Chosen One had so often called upon now were dimmed like a candle left with a thin wick.
    Interesting thought, and certainly you can imagine Vader must wonder if Palpatine revels in keeping his position of control. [face_thinking] Still, I?ve always thought there was a bit of gloating when Palpatine tells Yoda, ?Lord Vader will become more powerful than either of us!? and when we hear the understated pride in his voice when he tells of learning everything Plagueis knew before he killed him. I think Palpatine enjoys being a Sith and all that means ? including his eventual death at the hands of his greatest apprentice. So in an odd sort of way, the fact that Vader will never be a threat to Palpatine (as a Sith ? not foreseeing Anakin?s eventual triumph as a Jedi, of course ;) ) is the true source of his disappointment. [face_thinking]

    Anakin?s reason had died on a platform in hell, at his own hand. Vader existed solely to pay a debt to the lie for which Anakin had sold his soul.
    :_| Beautiful, and so sad.

    ?Maybe you can?t hear me.?

    ?I can hear you fine,? Vader snapped.

    [face_laugh] Poor Ani never did like backtalk (except his own).

    He didn?t resist and limped after her. ?Where are we going??

    ?To the spaceport.? She urged him faster with an insistent yank.

    ?And what will you do when you get there??

    She stopped and gave him a look like the answer was the most obvious in the galaxy. ?Steal a starship, of course.?

    For the first time in a long, long time, Vader felt the corners of his scarred mouth twitch upward. ?Right. Of course.?

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] This little urchin must remind Vader of a certain street punk from Mos Espa.

    ?You don?t trust me.?
    Treachery is the way of the Sith. [face_mischief]

    ?Naboo has been generous to the last. You did well, my friend. You did well.?
    :eek: Naboo! Nooooooo! :_| :_| Great hints leading up to the revelation, though. ;) Great characterization of the Emperor when he appears, too. What a slimy, despicable creature he is. :mad: You really show his true Sith colors. [face_devil] And wonderful job with the double-talk between Vader and his master. They?re both using the other for their own ends, and they both know it ? and I?m sure Mara is now a new piece in that contest. [face_worried]

    Awesome start! :D Can?t wait for more.
     
  3. leia_naberrie

    leia_naberrie Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2002
    This looks interesting. :D ::bookmarks page, pulls up sofa and makes self very comfortable::
     
  4. rhonderoo

    rhonderoo Former Head Admin star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 7, 2002
    You've got my interest!!! :D
     
  5. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Sometimes Vader wondered if Palpatine had even masterminded his rout at Mustafar. Standing on a platform overlooking the lavafields, he had believed he would achieve great power, then defeat the Sith Lord. He had believed he was still capable of bringing balance to the Force. But a single fateful swipe of his old master?s lightsaber not only had cleaved his body asunder ? the unlimited Force reserves the Chosen One had so often called upon now were dimmed like a candle left with a thin wick.

    THat was good stuff. Interesting start.
     
  6. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Oh! I can't wait for more of these! Lovely and powerful! Bravo! =D=
     
  7. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 14, 2002
    Hum. I know next to nothing about Mara. Just vague references I've seen around. I'll keep an eye on this one. I'm sure you'll make me like her before it's all over and done with. :-B
     
  8. MirandaFair

    MirandaFair Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 13, 2005
    *gasps* I love this! Great introduction of Mara.

    "Poison Man." (That's brilliant.) [face_laugh]

    Great start. If you're sending PMs, I'd like to be included.
     
  9. oqidaun

    oqidaun Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2005
    Brilliant! I'm speechless.
    You did such an amazing job with the fiery chaos and the little Naboo twist at the end sent a chill down my spine. Vader's characterization was TOP NOTCH!!!

    I'm very eager to read more of this.
    Standing ovation! =D=
     
  10. Jedi Trace

    Jedi Trace SouthEast RSA star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 1999
    Oooh, I love Vader/Mara fics! :D (As long as they're playing nice, that is. Otherwise, it gets ugly, LOL.)

    Looking forward to more! If you send out PM's with updates, I'd love to be on the list. :)





     
  11. Gabri_Jade

    Gabri_Jade VIP star 5 VIP

    Registered:
    Nov 9, 2002
    :eek:

    :D

    I love it, Kia. Absolutely adore it. [face_love] The characterization is just perfect for everyone, and Vader's thoughts ring completely true. I love your Luke and Leia vignettes, and naturally I'm thrilled to see Mara getting vignettes of her own. :D I think you have the honor of being the first to write a story inspired by the Mara thread, and you did it wonderfully. [:D]

    Anakin of pure power had been left Darth Vader, a stomping, frightful monster.

    LOVE that line! :eek:

    Images of this anonymous man slumping to the ground alternated with a haunting replay of the last time he had seen Padmé ? falling to the cold duracrete of a Mustafar platform. Falling. Thud. Falling. Thud. Falling?

    Haunting is definitely the right word for it. I can see it myself. Great description.

    Vader existed solely to pay a debt to the lie for which Anakin had sold his soul.

    Oh, just sheer brilliance there, Kia. :D

    A child, no more than seven at most, regarded him with no fear, only wary concern. He was the stuff of childhood nightmares, yet she hovered and repeated her question.

    Hee hee! That's so Mara! I love how you show the essence of her personality even at such a young age and before Palpatine.

    ?I can hear you fine,? Vader snapped. It was bad enough to have this child question him like a simple armored trooper, far worse to be dismissed entirely. He was, after all, Darth Vader.

    Great way to show how the arrogance and pride of position and power remains despite Vader's realization of how it all stems from a lie. :cool:

    ?No, the other stuff. Im?imper-da-nant -?

    His chin drew back abruptly. ?You heard that??


    ?I know. But you also ordered me to stand and called me a lazy lug.?

    The child?s jaw dropped and she gasped. ?You heard that??


    *delighted* I love it! Wonderful way for Mara's talent to be discovered. :D

    Incredibly, she stuttered to a stop. But she didn?t turn or look at him. She just stood there, one hand flexing and unflexing. A cloud of dark smoke wisped past her, devouring her tiny frame. When she reappeared the girl was facing him. Her eyes never left Vader as she drew up an arm and coughed into the sleeve of her tunic. When the wracking subsided she seemed to have made up her mind.

    Fantastic imagery! I can see every detail. :D

    Unfazed, the girl moved to assist him. ?If it looks like a lazy lug and acts like a lazy lug?? She grunted and huffed into the monumental task of lifting his mammoth frame. ??then it must be ??

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] Beautiful, simply beautiful. [:D]

    ?And what will you do when you get there??

    She stopped and gave him a look like the answer was the most obvious in the galaxy. ?Steal a starship, of course.?

    For the first time in a long, long time, Vader felt the corners of his scarred mouth twitch upward. ?Right. Of course.?


    That's my Mara. :cool:

    It left Sidious? back gravely exposed. Vader thought about it for less than a heartbeat. If he failed, little fiery Mara would be left to his dark master?s ravenous whims. Aching with despair, he fell in step with the others.

    *bounces excitedly* SO perfect. The parallel! Just as Luke did, something about Mara manages to inspire Vader to make a tremendous sacrifice - life in both instances, really; living it for Mara, giving it up for Luke. Not only do both instances show the remnants of Anakin that remain to influence Vader, but it's quite a poetic balance. I wonder if Mara ever remembered this encounter clearly, or understood what Vader had done in her behalf, and if Luke ever knew later on? Anakin would have been pleased to know that Luke and Mara would find each other, I think. :D

    Simply marvelous all the way around, Kia. [:D]

     
  12. RedGold

    RedGold Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 29, 2004
    oooo... that was a bit different... me likey
     
  13. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Community Squirrel Whisperer star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    That was really fantastic. Made me hope that Vader and the child would have just disappeared together. *sigh*

    I'm looking forward to seeing what else you've got for us. :)
     
  14. TKeira_Lea

    TKeira_Lea Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 10, 2002
    Darth_Lex: And you got my 2500th post.

    I?m honored.

    At this rate you?ll give Karen Traviss a run for her money (literally! ) in no time.

    I wish!

    Poor Ani never did like backtalk (except his own).

    Fitting then, isn?t it?

    This little urchin must remind Vader of a certain street punk from Mos Espa.

    Good :D That?s the plan. ;)


    Thanks to all for the great replies! [:D]

    Great characterization of the Emperor when he appears, too. What a slimy, despicable creature he is. You really show his true Sith colors. And wonderful job with the double-talk between Vader and his master. They?re both using the other for their own ends, and they both know it ? and I?m sure Mara is now a new piece in that contest.

    I was intrigued by the mention of the Traviss short story about those two, so I tried my hand at it.

    leia_naberrie: This looks interesting. ::bookmarks page, pulls up sofa and makes self very comfortable::

    Well it?ll be a slow ride but there will be more to come

    rhonderoo: You've got my interest!!!

    Cool :cool:

    Ish: THat was good stuff. Interesting start.

    Thanks :D More to come?

    VaderLVR64: Oh! I can't wait for more of these!

    Me neither. I need to borrow your overactive muse though

    Lovely and powerful! Bravo!

    Thanks :)

    obi_ew: Hum. I know next to nothing about Mara.

    Neither do I. Just winging it here [face_worried]

    I'm sure you'll make me like her before it's all over and done with.

    I try. She?s gotten a bum rap from all the fan children in the past. I?ll try to set that straight.

    MirandaFair: *gasps* I love this! Great introduction of Mara.

    *gasps* Thanks! [face_dancing]

    "Poison Man." (That's brilliant.)

    It was weird how that popped into my head. Glad it worked for you.

    oqidaun: Brilliant! I'm speechless.

    :eek:

    You did such an amazing job with the fiery chaos and the little Naboo twist at the end sent a chill down my spine.

    That was fun to plot out. I tend to enjoy evil twists like that.

    Vader's characterization was TOP NOTCH!!!

    Oh wow! Thanks!

    Jedi Trace: Look at all the Mara-ites! :D

    Oooh, I love Vader/Mara fics! (As long as they're playing nice, that is. Otherwise, it gets ugly, LOL.)

    Yes it could get ugly. This is really my first venture into writing them let alone reading them.

    Kima: Vader's thoughts ring completely true.

    Good. He was the hard one of the three.

    I love your Luke and Leia vignettes, and naturally I'm thrilled to see Mara getting vignettes of her own.

    She kept *thwacking* me until she got her fair shake.

    LOVE that line!

    It?s a good visual huh?

    Haunting is definitely the right word for it. I can see it myself. Great description.

    I?m lucky because people have the movie visuals in their minds to work with.

    *delighted* I love it! Wonderful way for Mara's talent to be discovered.

    That was the trick though. How did they find out? And for me I imagined her special abilities were what drew Palpatine to her.

    *bounces excitedly* SO perfect. The parallel! Just as Luke did, something about Mara manages to inspire Vader to make a tremendous sacrifice - life in both instances, really; living it for Mara, giving it up for Luke.

    Exactly! It?s the good him he refuses to acknowledge, yet a street urchin with limited hold on her Force skills can see it in him too.

    RedGold: oooo... that was a bit different... me likey

    Thankey :D

    Healer_Leona: Made me hope that Vader and the child would have just disappeared together. *sigh*

    Ha! That?s what AUs are for ;)

    I'm looking forward to seeing what else you've got for us.

    Me too. Now if I can just find it :p
     
  15. Anakins_Force

    Anakins_Force Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2005

    For an awkward moment, the pair studied each other. A simple Force technique allowed Vader to replay the last few minutes. At the height of her exertion, as she tried to aid his effort to stand, the child had loosed a burst of energy, her thoughts tumbling into the Force in the process. She hadn?t spoken those words at all. It was a rare occurrence ? most Jedi could project broad ideas at best; few had been known to generate complete conversations. In untrained Force sensitives with this particular ability, their thoughts sometimes would jump to other Force users, often when the sentiments were ones best left unsaid.


    Impressive vig!

    I loved their communication and that Vader was intrigued by Mara. She was rude to him but he was willing to let it go. Maybe he admired her spunk?

    The Naboo part caught me off guard--I wasn't expecting that at all.

    Please PM me with updates if you do them.
     
  16. Shinar

    Shinar Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 30, 2002
    Darn, I was hoping I was wrong and it wasn't Naboo. The EU just gives so much more room to play though, it's understandable [face_skull]
     
  17. jade51999

    jade51999 Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 5, 1999
    Naboo Eh?

    Man TKL you're a writer after my own heart. I. Love. Mara. She's my absolute favorite charachter (well classic super 3 not included).

    Just to say my favorite parts? the Thud. Falling. Thud Falling.

    I just had to laugh--b/c i can see Mara saying this as an adult too--absolutely unafriad of Vader...

    Unfazed, the girl moved to assist him. ?If it looks like a lazy lug and acts like a lazy lug?? She grunted and huffed into the monumental task of lifting his mammoth frame. ??then it must be

    LOL

    FANTASTIC
     
  18. Darth_Garak

    Darth_Garak Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 2005
    Great story,I love it.
     
  19. TKeira_Lea

    TKeira_Lea Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 10, 2002
    Good morning!

    I can't seem to keep up!

    Anakins_Force: Impressive vig!

    Thanks :D

    I loved their communication and that Vader was intrigued by Mara. She was rude to him but he was willing to let it go. Maybe he admired her spunk?

    I think so. Padme was spunky too [face_love]

    The Naboo part caught me off guard--I wasn't expecting that at all.

    Ah! The dreaded evil author twist. Yep, that's me. ;) [face_mischief]

    Shinar: Darn, I was hoping I was wrong and it wasn't Naboo.

    Nope you're usually right [:D]

    The EU just gives so much more room to play though, it's understandable

    True true :D

    jade51999: Man TKL you're a writer after my own heart. I. Love. Mara. She's my absolute favorite charachter (well classic super 3 not included).

    Just for you then. How about another song rewrite in honor of writing a Mara vig?

    I just had to laugh--b/c i can see Mara saying this as an adult too--absolutely unafriad of Vader...

    I'm not sure anyone ever told Mara to be afraid. Of course we know a lot of fear comes from attachment and at this point she's pretty unattached.

    Darth_Garak: Great story,I love it.

    Welcome! And thanks :)


    It looks like this series will get an update about every month with all my other story commitments. I'm not usually a PMer, so don't think I blew off your requests, it's just hard with 6 active stories to keep them all straight. The title bar will let you know though. Thanks again for all the great feedback [:D]
     
  20. Chimpo_the_Sith

    Chimpo_the_Sith Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 15, 2003
    Yeah I arrive in Saga board once a month and what do I find? :mad:

    Grrrr...

    I'll just say not bad [face_not_talking]






















































    :p
     
  21. TahiriSoloFan

    TahiriSoloFan Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 20, 2003
    =D= I loved that! You showed Mara's personality perfectly as I would expect it to show through when she was a child and Vader was beautifully done... hard, but yet with glimpses of his former self peeking through, only to be beaten back down by his horrible reality. Palpatine is about as poison as it gets! [face_sick]
     
  22. ginchy

    ginchy Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 25, 2005
    Wow, how did I miss this? What a wonderful little vignette! I love Vader/Anakin here--and little Mara is perfect: not too cutesy and already tough as nails.

    Sidious glanced up. ?Naboo has been generous to the last. You did well, my friend. You did well.?

    Wow...what an ending! Naboo--who would have guessed? (Not me! LOL)

    Great job! =D=
     
  23. Laine_Snowtrekker

    Laine_Snowtrekker Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2003
    Oh, this is good! Add me to the PM list for this one as well!
     
  24. TKeira_Lea

    TKeira_Lea Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 10, 2002
    Good afternoon!

    More replies owed I see.

    :oops:

    Mesa slacker [face_blush]

    Chimpo: Yeah I arrive in Saga board once a month and what do I find?

    You should look more often ;)

    I'll just say not bad

    You're the tough critic so thank you [:D]

    Auntie: I loved that! You showed Mara's personality perfectly as I would expect it to show through when she was a child

    Yeah she was a tough one to pull off as a kid, but I'm glad you bought into it.

    Vader was beautifully done... hard, but yet with glimpses of his former self peeking through, only to be beaten back down by his horrible reality.

    That's how I imagine Palpatine held the leash. Awful really for Anakin.

    Palpatine is about as poison as it gets!

    Agreed [face_chicken]

    ginchy: Wow, how did I miss this?

    I dunno :p

    I love Vader/Anakin here--and little Mara is perfect: not too cutesy and already tough as nails.

    Heehee! I don't imagine Mara was ever cutesy and something from her past had to make her that tough. I figured being a street urchin might do it for her. She had to have been tough to survive Palpatine.

    I love how you say Vader/Anakin because that was the feel I was going for. Always Anakin had to have been fighting to the surface. Even the first time we see Vader in the suit he's asking about Padme. Oh the tragedy! :_|

    Wow...what an ending! Naboo--who would have guessed? (Not me! LOL)

    Unfortunately I think the cheap thrill of showing Naboo in the ROTJ DVD cheapened all the great potential of what happened to that planet after the Emperor came into power. I had always imagined it gone, or the Naboo would have spearhead the fight against tyranny for sure.

    Laine_Snowtrekker: Oh, this is good!

    Thank you :)

    Add me to the PM list for this one as well!

    I'm not a big PMer but I will try to remember ;)


    Thanks again to all for the great replies. I'll be updating this story in the coming weeks. Also keep your eye out on the Archive, where it'll be popping up in the near future! :D
     
  25. TKeira_Lea

    TKeira_Lea Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 10, 2002
    I'd like to thank Obaona for her wonderful cover art! [:D] I think it captures the heart of the story.

    [image=http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y255/beechgq/InadvertentandUnintentionalCover.jpg]

    And why you ask would this need cover art? Look for KOS:II in one of the Archive updates in the near future. It's been accepted. :D Also look for an update before the month is out.
     
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