Kyle Katarn is so tough...

Thats right waru needs one full hand. Now what.






(check sig)

 

Kyle Katarn is so tough that when he realised this thread had fallen off the first page, he used Ulicus as a proxy to bump it the **** back up. There was probably a beard and bryar pistol involved too.

(Shouldn't this thread be named "Kyle Katarn Facts"? )

 

Kyle > the Force

You know it to be true!

 

Kyle Katarn has been known to carry his offspring on his feet like an Emperor Penguin

 

Kyle Katarn didn't crash the Moldy Crow. He decided to simply resculpt some of the cliffs on Ruusaan.

 

(On floor laughing and crying.) Thank you for that!

 

Hey, thanks! Lets see what else we got....

There is no death...there is only Kyle Katarn.

With great power, comes Kyle Katarn (Cross-reference, I know)

Kyle eats Mandalorian Iron and craps Proton Torpedoes through his exhaust port.

On Kyle's ship, The Hapan system is labelled as "Kyle's love nest"

Kyle Katarn once took a nice mudbath on Mustafar. The experience was so great for him that he recommended it to Anakin Skywalker. We all saw how that turned out....

Yoda once told Kyle that he "sensed much fear in him." Kyle then persisted to beat Yoda over the head with his own cane, use it as a toothpick, and say, "Fear that."

Kyle also hit Yoda so hard that Frank Oz had to check in a hospital.

 

Actually, both Luke and his friends at Tosche Station were mistaken about what Luke saw that day. Kyle Katarn was smiling. On the far side of Belkadan.

 

Luke was going to Tosche Station to pick up some power converters. When Kyle needs power converters, Tosche Station comes to him.

 

YAY! Not banned anymore!

Hello thread!

Prhik alloy is made out of concentrated Kyle sweat.

The last time Kyle Katarn got angry, he punched straight through the fabric of time and space and set off the Big Bang. Natually Kyle, in his greatness, survived, and decided to found the Republic, Jedi and Sith orders and the Mandalorian clans because he was bored.

Beghind every great Kyle lies an even greater Jan.

 

Kyle Katarn's overall fight record is 3,533,621-1. The one loss was to Bruce Lee. Nobody beats Bruce Lee, not even Kyle Katarn.

 

Only because Bruce Lee is Jan Ors brother, and is therefore awesome.

Kyle Katarn is so tough, he has a six page thread devoted to recording his toughness.

 

Kyle Katarn keeps a pillow under his lightsaber.

Never bring a blaster to a lightsaber fight. Never bring a lightsaber to a Kyle Katarn fight.

Luke Skywalker once killed 12 Slayers, Kyle Katarn calls this a "Blue milk run."

Kyle Katarn was going to be carved into the Valley of the Jedi but the stone wasent hard enough for his beard.

Luke Skywalker can walk on lava. Kyle Katarn can walk on Luke Skywalker.

Kyle Katarn can divide by zero.

Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Kyle Katarn to go around.

Kyle Katarn always knows the EXACT location of the droids your looking for.


Kyle Katarn can drink an entire gallon of blue milk in thirty-seven seconds.

It takes 14 puppeteers to make Kyle Katarn smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

Kyle Katarn once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Kyle Katarn played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded blaster and won.

The Force is Kyle Katarn's bitch.

Kyle Katarn does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.

Kyle Katarn can slam a revolving door.

Kyle Katarn doesn't play god. Playing is for children.

 

These are among the best posted so far. These are deserving of Corellian Ewokstripes. Congratulations

 

There's a reason rockets and Stouker rounds never touch Kyle. They, unlike blaster bolts, have enough sense to know that they'll come out worse than he will.

 

the REAL reason Palpatine created the Death Stars, the Eye, and the 47 other superweapons: He caught a glimpse in the Fore of Kyle Katarn, and proceeded to void his bowels in sheer terror.

 

Kyle Katarn once cooked and ate a Hutt, inventing escargot.

Kyle was once in posession of The Hat, but George Lucas had to take it away from him because otherwise he would've been too awesome for human minds to comprehend.

 

If at first you don't suceed, Kyle Katarn has beaten you to it, completed it already, and is out shooting stormtroopers with the Bryar pistol now.

Anything that can go wrong, does go wrong. Unless Kyle Katarn wants it to go right. Then it does. Murphy knows better.

An Anzat once tried to eat Kyle Katarn's soup. Katarn laughed, offered him a salad, and let him try. Rumor has it that the beard got him.

Jar Jar doesn't have a speech problem. Kyle Katarn just hit him over the head with the Bryar pistol before Qui Gon showed up, and he never recovered.

 

When Qui-Gon Jinn asked Shmi Skywalker "Who was his father?", of Anakin, the answer he expected was "Kyle Katarn".

 

All Gonk droids make that sound because Kyle Katarn "gonked" the first one off the line.

Darth Tater is a reproduction of what would happento Darth Vader, if Vader were to encounter Kyle.

The only reason Boba Fett is the most feared bounty hunter in the galaxy is because Kyle Katarn once dressed up like him for halloween. That was all it took.

Kyle Katarn was attacked by a Voxyn during the Vong war. He now keeps the Voxyn in his room. It has its own little water bottle and hamster wheel to run on.

Kyle Katarn once slaughtered an entire legion of stormtroopers on Myrkr and was having a beer before he realized he couldn't use the Force....Then he used it anyway.

 

You get a cookiee.

 

One day, Kyle decided to go for a walk. But he had no road to walk on, so he created Hyper-space instead.

Every action except Kyle's has an equal and opposite reaction.

Kyle Katarn used to bullseye T16's with a wamp-rat.

 

Kyle Katarn wrote Spy Primer and became the Battlemaster of the New Jedi Order to try to make his day to day opponents less pathetic.

Kyle Katarn kidnaped a bunch of the whitches of Dathomir. Nine months later they gave birth to the first Mandalorians.

Kyle Katarn's tears cure the Death Seed plague. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.

 

Sorry if any have been said...I don't have the time to look at everyone:

"Kyle Katarn is the reason Palpatine gave Order 66"

"Kyle Katarn can block lightsabers with his pinky."

"Kyle Katarn is considered a honorary Corellian...why? He just is."

"Luke Skywalker didn't blow up the Death Star, Kyle Katarn light a match after he farted."