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Kyrie Eleison (a young Jag Fel short story)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Melyanna, Jan 3, 2002.

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  1. Melyanna

    Melyanna Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 19, 2001
    Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have started another story. This time, however, I have the entire plot worked out in advance, so I'll be able to keep up with this and the other fifteen million stories running through my head.

    In the last few weeks I've had this insatiable urge to write angst, so what follows is the story of Kyria Fel, Jag Fel's younger sister. This short story is alluded to in both [link=http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=3681279&page=1]Of Pilots and Jedi[/link] and [link=http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=4285619&replies=637]Into the Unknown[/link]. However, it is not necessary to read either of the above stories for the events following to make sense. While it will fit in the story arc of the Solo Kids Trilogy and its sequel trilogy, this story stands alone.

    So now, to casting... (Yes, Sticks' obsession with casting her stories has rubbed off. ;) ) I will cast characters as they appear, so here is the cast list for the first post.

    Colonel Jagged Fel: [link=http://www.angelfire.com/celeb2/orlandobloom/images/official/moveline.jpg]Orlando Bloom[/link]
    Lieutenant Kyria Fel: [link=http://www.emilyprocter.com/images/headshot02.JPG]Emily Procter[/link]
    Jon Drahos: [link=http://www.joshhartnett.com/images/bw1.jpg]Josh Hartnett[/link]

    And so, here we go again...

    -------

    Requiem aeternam dona eis, Domine.
    Et lux perpetua luceat eis.


    *****

    "Jag! Jag, wait up!"

    They were words that seventeen-year-old Jagged Fel had heard often in his life, but when that voice spoke them, he always smiled. He stopped the speeder and turned his head to see his sister running after him. "Hurry up, Kyria!"

    He continued to smile as the sixteen-year-old jumped into the idling speeder. "Jagged Fel, why are you always in such a hurry these days?"

    "I'm not. I'm only in a rush when I'm on my way to sim practice," he replied, putting the old-fashioned groundspeeder back in gear and driving away from the Fel house. "You know how if goes. Last one there runs stats instead of flying."

    "Jag, you're the commanding officer. You've never once run stats."

    "I know, and I don't intend to."

    Kyria rolled her eyes. "Males."

    Jag took his eyes off the road long enough to spare a glance at his sister. "You didn't seem to have a problem with males two weeks ago when you went to that dance with that Drahos character."

    Obviously disgusted, she ripped the blue ribbon out of her blonde hair, letting wavy locks fly loose in the wind. "His name is Jon, brother dear, and I'd prefer it if you called him that," she retorted.

    "It's more fun to call him 'that Drahos character'. It annoys you more," he replied with a smirk in her direction.

    She speared him with an icy blue glare. "Love you too, Jag."

    "Of course you do," he replied in an arrogant tone that was his father's. The low, guttural hiss that escaped her lips told him to stop.

    After a kilometer of silence, Jag pointed to one of the occasional houses on the road between their home and the base. "Look, it's the Drahos house," he said casually.

    Instead of the scathing retort he expected, Kyria replied, "It's quite a beautiful place, don't you think?"

    Disappointed that she'd killed his line of teasing, Jag gave her a noncommittal grunt by way of reply. After passing two more houses, he asked, "So did he kiss you goodnight?"

    "Jag!" she exclaimed. "That's none of your business!"

    "Sure it is," he answered. "I have to know if I get to invoke my right as older brother and beat him up."

    "I beg your pardon?" she asked, clearly not amused.

    "Well, it's quite simple. If he didn't kiss you goodnight, I get to beat him up for being a jerk. If he did kiss you but took more than a second to do so, I get to beat him up for dishonorable intentions."

    In his peripheral vision Jag saw his sister shake her head. "Honestly, Jag," she laughed, "you spent way too much time thinking that up."

    "Brother's prerogative," he replied dryly. "So which is it?"

    "Oh, you get to beat him up."

     
  2. padawan lunetta

    padawan lunetta Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    May 15, 1999
    Jag is such a cute older brother *sigh* I love the beginning Mely! :D
     
  3. Amidala_Skywalker

    Amidala_Skywalker Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 4, 2001
    Wonderful! Their dialogue and interaction is so loveable and funny. You have me hooked already. More Jag and more Kyrie and that shall make one happy Am!

    Am [face_love]
     
  4. Freyja

    Freyja Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 2, 2000
    yay...another Jag story! :D
     
  5. Miss_Jaina

    Miss_Jaina Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2001
    This is really cute.

    ~Miss Jaina
     
  6. Melyanna

    Melyanna Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 19, 2001
    luney: Isn't he a cutie? :D

    Am: Heh, if you want more Jag... read OP+J and ItU! As for more Kyria, I'm working on it. ;)

    Freyja: How did I know that you'd show up in a thread with Jag's name in the topic? ;)

    Miss_Jaina: Welcome aboard! ...Wait a minute, my first attempt at an angst story has been called cute. *sigh* So sad... ;)

    More later!
    Mel
     
  7. Rebecca191

    Rebecca191 Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 2, 1999
    Yay! Jag!! [face_love]
     
  8. womp_rat208

    womp_rat208 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 8, 1999
    *shakes head* Mely, the plot bunnies are going to be the death of you. ;)

    Good begining to the story. Sounds really good. :) Now I've got another story to bug you about. :D
     
  9. PrincessPadme

    PrincessPadme Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Sep 11, 2001
    I like what I've read so far...

    Is that any surprise? ;)

    Waiting (semi-patiently) for more... :D
     
  10. stevo

    stevo Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2001
    Mely- any story where you put Jag in is going to be called cute at some point!
     
  11. JadedofMara

    JadedofMara Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2001
    yay! Another Mely story! With the requiem attached! Thats not one that you see every day...

    Orlando Bloom is Jag?!?!?!?!?!?!

    Cant say i agree with that one.

    but Joah hartnett as jon drahos...there you go...
     
  12. RebelMom

    RebelMom Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2000
    Looks good Mely. I like a good angst story.
     
  13. Freyja

    Freyja Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 2, 2000
    Orlando Bloom...just when I thought Jag couldn't get any better! Yum... [face_love]
     
  14. Qwi_Xux

    Qwi_Xux Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 5, 2001
    Jag is so cute...hehe, I love Kyria's teasing.

    "How badly would you hurt him if I told you there was tongue involved?" LOL!! GREAT start, Mely! :D
     
  15. Mar17swgirl

    Mar17swgirl Force Ghost star 7

    Registered:
    Dec 26, 2000
    My, my, my. I was attracted by the title... :p And I must say that I'm DEFINITELY not sorry that I clicked on it. :D Loved the first post, and I love the brother-sister thing between Jag and Kyria. And Orlando Bloom playing Jag... ooooh.... [face_love] ;) :D Keep it up, Mely! :)
     
  16. Sticks

    Sticks Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 27, 2001
    Just for the record, I suggested the whole Orlando-Bloom-as-Jag thing to Mel. ;) (However, I got it off one of those EU-casting threads on the Lit board. *shrug* So sue me.)

    Anyway, I agree with the general consensus: Good start! (Hah! As beta, I'd already known what was gonna happen. Nyah, nyah, nyah! 8-} )

    (I apologize for all the parentheses. I, like many others, miss Anthony Daniels' Wonder Column, and I'm trying to bring back the trend.)

    But anyway. More! More!

    (Oh yeah. I'm beta. I'd better beta the next post, or there won't be more.)

    (I'll shut up now.)
     
  17. Melyanna

    Melyanna Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 19, 2001
    Okay, time for my usual disclaimers (late, of course)...

    Spoilers: Umm, yes! Well, it's actually kind of hard to tell if there will be any spoilers. There aren't spoilers of a major kind for any of the NJO books, as this story is based on something mentioned in passing. There really aren't spoilers for my stories either. Actually, one of my stories gives away the ending of this one. Confused yet? Good. ;)

    Legal stuff: I am an eighteen-year-old female (nineteen in a couple of months, but that's beside the point). In other words, I wasn't alive when Star Wars was created, so I obviously don't own it. I'm just having fun with the world begun by Ye Olde Flanneled One.

    Umm, next post as soon as Sticks gets back to me. :D

    Later!
    Mel
     
  18. Melyanna

    Melyanna Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 19, 2001
    Okay, Sticks finally got back to me... Okay, it hasn't been that long. I think I just emailed it to her today. Here you are!

    One more casting note for this post...
    Dyrdri Drahos: [link=http://www.geocities.com/hollywood/star/1388/7th_annie3.jpg]Catherine Hicks[/link]

    -------

    On the way back from the simulation, Jag stopped at the Drahos house to save Kyria the trip out there. Because she arrived about half a standard earlier than planned, Jon met them outside the house, and the three stood around talking for some time.

    Jag was a little surprised by Kyria's sudden interest in Jon Drahos, and her immediate closeness with him stung a little. Jag had never thought that he would ever care if his little sister had a boyfriend, but neither had he ever really believed that he would ever watch her run to hug said boyfriend. Kyria had been closer to him than any other being in his life; his older brother, Davin, had been too competitive, too much like himself, for them to be close friends, while Danae and Jaremye, four and two respectively, were much too young. Kyria, on the other hand, was close to his age, less than a year younger, and had a Sith-may-care attitude about her than Jag loved.

    On a purely objective level, Jag could see why males his age were attracted to her (Jon was by no means the first to try to gain Kyria's attention, but certainly the first successful one), since Kyria was very pretty, closely resembling their mother. She too had become a pilot, now a lieutenant on reserve and likely to be called into active duty soon. She was well-grounded in reality, but unlike many of the Chiss around them, she saw fit to dream beyond what Nirauan could offer her. Jag was sure that Kyria would be the first to find a way out of the Unknown Regions.

    As for her choice, Jag couldn't find a legitimate reason to object to Jon Drahos. With a brilliant mind for science, Jon had been the only other human in Jag's class when they were in school together. In fact, Jon had actually met Kyria through Jag. Jag had thought nothing of it at the time, as the two had talked of nothing but the scientific realities of extra-galactic travel. But romance, as Jag was quickly learning, apparently came in many forms.

    So the three stood around talking of trivial things till Jon's mother appeared at the front door and asked Kyria to join her inside. For a while Jon and Jag stood in silence, till Jag finally said, "I need to get home."

    "Right," Jon replied. "I'll bring Kyria home after dinner."

    Jag nodded as he got into the speeder and started the engine. "Thanks."

    "Hey, Jag, you don't mind that Kyria and I are dating, do you?"

    Jag was caught off guard by both the question and the look of concern he saw on Jon's face. From what Jag knew of Jon, a lack of confidence was unlike him.

    The mere fact that Jon was concerned told Jag that he shouldn't be. Kyria had sense, and she'd made good use of it. I shouldn't worry about her just because she's growing up, he thought. After all, she didn't object to my girlfriend. "No, I don't mind," Jag answered. "But remember, if you hurt her, you'll rue the day you were born. And then my father will deal with you," he added.

    Jon had enough humor in him to find that amusing. Smiling, he replied, "Not for the galaxy would I hurt her, Jag. No need to worry."

    "I won't."

    -------

    All righty, then, next post eventually. At some point I have to get back to the club in Into the Unknown, you know...

    :D
     
  19. padawan lunetta

    padawan lunetta Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    May 15, 1999
    I think it's cute that it bothers him to see her hugging some other guy, and threated Jon about hurting her, I BET He would rue the day! :D
     
  20. Amidala_Skywalker

    Amidala_Skywalker Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 4, 2001
    Jon and I would be so perfect for each other. I'm trying to reply with a more coherant thought, but my parents have turned the Air Conditioner up and my hands are turning into iceblocks. Aww...Mely, this story is just getting so sweet!

    Am [face_love]
     
  21. Qwi_Xux

    Qwi_Xux Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 5, 2001
    LOL! Talk about a girlfriend whose family you DON'T want to mess with! :D
     
  22. Miss_Jaina

    Miss_Jaina Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2001
    I ment no offense in calling the first post "cute". I could not at the time think of a bewtter word so you get "cute".

    I really loved the second post. I can imagine what Soontir would do if Jon hurts his baby.

    ~Miss Jaina
     
  23. RebelMom

    RebelMom Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2000
    It is really nice getting to know the characters. It gets me involved in the story. Very good.
     
  24. Freyja

    Freyja Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 2, 2000
    And who was Jags girlfriend? :)
     
  25. JadedofMara

    JadedofMara Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2001
    Frey...lol.

    Keep it up Mely...but dont neglect into the unknown!!! yOu are letting the round robin go there, right?

    I have a question that you probably wont answer but ill ask it anyway...( :D )

    Does Jon have anythign to do with the way this story ends?

    BTW...Mely, weve all gottne so SPOILED for Jag-writing by your wonderful fics...and are probably going o be dissapointed when DJ comes out! but then again how could we be dissapointed...foced on Jaina...and Jag in it too...

    ::realizes she is just ranting and is shutting up now::
     
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