Before - Legends Letters of Complaint (humor, first one up is Obi, updated 11/05/06, Yaddle's lament)

LOL!!! Great letter there!!!

And Obi, i will NOT stop devising ways to torture you. If I did, that would require me to get a life. Now we don't want that to happen do we....

*dramatic pause*

Yes...anyway...MORE!

 

Mace's letter funny.
great
with Qui there ah funny.

 

Windex does sound understandably depressed. I like how he?s rubbing the padawans into Gui-Gon and Yoda, a little Qui torture from the evil council member. He is gullible as Qui-Gon fools him. He deserves to be Yoda?s sidekick.

Loved Xanatos? letter again, I don?t think the writers will take bribes. Too much fun reading about Xan (and I?m sure writing). Making all that money never satisfied Xan?s need for revenge. I love him because he is an egomaniac, I can?t think of a more charismatic person to try and kill ya.

?? Xani is passing on our words of advice. Fantastic. This could become an invasion, Yee ha.

[face_shocked] Which evil writer cut the transmission???

 

Great job so far.

Loved the Mace one, but I want to know Qui-Gon's pet name!!! I thought it was great that Mace was gettin all upset about being thought of as "the trolls' footstool"...LOL. And then he hid under the desk!!! Good stuff

And the letter from Xan to Qui. Wonderful that he was getting confused with all the writers messing with his mind. He does seem to be confused about all the sexy attention...I'm sure that Mace wouldn't mind some coming his way...

Great that he worked his way into ff.n!!! and that he found your thread.


All right!! Who cut the transmission????

Keep up the good work!!

 

ah Poor Mace! did Obi-wan die, or did my sexiness rise on the scale I wouldn't complain if this became an all Obi/Xan letter thread!

 

Neo, you crack me up! Great job, great job! LOL! LOL!

 

I gotta hand it to ya, Neon Star, you REALLY know how to 'do' fanfic!
I have a question? Did Mace actually WRITE his letter, or did he dictate to you?

Mace- Don't you know that if Qui-Gon could hear Yoda coming, Yoda could hear every single thing you said about him? He doesn't have those big ears for nothing! If you get him mad enough, he won't just beat you with his stick, he'll turn that short little lightsaber of his on you. It doesn't really matter if you ARE on the Jedi Council, what Master Yoda says, goes.
Oh, and did you know that by telling us that you don't like the nicknames we give you, that you inspire us to come up with even MORE sithly ones? For a Jedi Master, you are REALLY naive, Pepper Spray. (going by the brand name MACE)

Xan-you oughtta know that we are going to keep messin' with your head. It's like the Obi-torture thing, we love to see you SUFFER!(hehehe)Why don't you take up on Obi's idea nad get a suit of armor,(not that it will do you any good, but at least it will give you something to do!)

Yes, I KNOW that I am talking to them again. Would you QUIT BUGGING ME ABOUT IT!!!!!!
*rolls eyes*
Sorry!
NEON STAR: keep up the good work! Can't wait until the next post!
HOLONET TRANSMISSION ENDED

 

OOOOOHHHHHHHH.....I....LOVE......IT!!!!!!!!!!

 

Yay! Obi- You can not escape your hotness so all us twisted authors will find ways to torture you, just read the bottom line of my siggy(not the link)! LOVED it Neon Star I was laughing so hard I started to cry and I'm STILL laughing! Loved the Xani ones!!!!

 

Only just turned up thanks to a link someone gave me ... am I glad I came.

Great work Neon, come on, we want more...

Personally I'm innocent - can't be accused of torturing Obi, Xani, or Qui - but jeez, if Luke ever turns up I'm in trouble. [face_gulp]

*rereads* HILARIOUS! w00t!

Nem

 

Here's an Up, so MAYBE THE AUTHOR WILL GIVE US A NEW POST!!!!

*calms down*

New post soon, please!

TKJ

 

Yes, I's like to complain that the author hasn't given us any letters of complaint lately...LOL.

 

Arwen-Jade_Kenobi: Thanks! And Obi-wan has taken a vow of silence it seems...

PatttyB0123: Thank you, glad you liked it.

Altaira: Windex?! Too good a nickname, lol! Heh, yes poor Mace does, and he's always mean to Qui, its time Qui got him back. And Xan has figured out the bribes thing, after he tried to pay a few in credits. But I agree, his ego is such a strangly loveable part of him. As to it, Xan cut his own transmission in a wild bout of frenzy, now he has to get it fixed.

dianethx: Qui is making sure Mace never tells, but maybe Xan will sell it to ya. In fact, he's still under that desk... And Xani would love the attention, if he didn't have to deal with the redemption stuff. Also, he didn't just find my thread, he found a few others too, and he is starting to understand. But as to it, Xan cut his own transmission. Thanks.

obi_ew: Yeah, poor Macey, he gets no respect. As to it, as much as I want to, heh, I gotta keep some attention for poor Qui, Mace, Yoda, and whoever else will be writing a letter of complaint soon. But they seem to sneak their way into everything.

KrystalBlaze: Thanks! Always glad to make someone laugh.

TenelKaJedi: I got the audio record, which someone sent me in the Temple. And no, I can't reveal sources. Yeah, he found that out, that's why he's staying under the desk. Heh, Pepper Spray is a good one, lol. Xan says its because he doesn't need armor, he needs a mind blocker, but he can't get one strong enough. Heh, and don't worry, I talk to them all the time! Thanks for your comments!

jeanieofnv: Glad you do!

EVILSOAPBUBBLE: That line in your sig is so true! Poor Obi has begun to reliaze it, but he can't accept it yet. Thank you, its a comfort to know that my humor is improving drastically!

JediNemesis: Tell that person thanks for passing on the link. And I believe we are both in trouble, Luke's letter is at the top of the list for the Saga verison. Thanks!



Well, sorry for the delay in getting these to you, I've been working on Abandoned as of late, and have had little time for anything else. There isn't a new char in this one, sorry, because I'm drawing a blank at present. So there are two side letters for now. Not my best, but I'm running a little low on humor. Enjoy!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dear Xanatos,

Once you stop sobbing into my leg and begging me to take you back or to kill you, perhaps you can read this letter before you try to kill me, again, for watching you humiliate yourself. Oh, did your eyes change again? I swear they were midnight blue, but now they are some strange color between black and sapphire? You?ve got Obi-wan?s dilemma, haven?t you? The constant color changing eye problem. Wonder how you two live with it, I think I wouldn?t be able to stop looking at myself? Come to think of it, is that why you took seven hours each day in the bathroom?!

Ah, Xani, here we are again, in the same accursed position forced upon us by evil writers, forever doomed to be the pawns of ever-powerful people. How did we get into this position, and would you mind moving, I don?t like tear stains in that area, makes it look like I?ve been bleeding? And don?t ask why I have a crimson shirt on, I just got finished with another ?Qui is evil? episode. Oh, killed Obi-wan again, lightsaber through the gut this time. No, he is not happy to have his new tunic ruined, after he came back from the dead for the one-hundredth time today. In fact, he?s ranting in the corner, and also begging me for his lightsaber.

Alright, alright, I?ll take you back, Xan, just stop that pathetic look! I didn?t know you could look that evil and yet that innocent at the same time, I thought only Obi-wan could pull off that look! Stop it, stop it! Not the eyes, please, oh Force?

Obi-wan, stop glaring at me, its not my fault the writer is forcing me to be all cuddly with this pathetic excuse of an ex pad, no offense, Xani, and don?t go looking for your blaster either.

 

Loved the seven hours in the bathroom crack about Xan, takes some time to look that good or just a little narcissism.

Qui, ?Hey, they?re all looking at me. I?m telling, stop looking at me, ahhhhhh!? Blaster fires...

I loved Qui?s warning to Yoda, that Xan is still mad at him about the letter. His condition B. is hilarious! A little pent up anger there, he needs to vent on someone. The little troll is a good place to start.

You?ve still got it! LOL TIME, tears in my eyes Great Job! , and, I?ll never tell Xan where his saber is.

Windex is from Mad_ewok?s: Star Wars Episode II: When Clones Attack (Parody) He?s on hiatus for now.

 

Thank you so much Neon Star! I've got to say the new letters are the best birthday presents I've gotten so far. Keep em coming!

~Kat

 

Hilarious as always! I was thrilled to see you made it to the voting round! Congrats!

 

LOL congrats on the Nod!!!

 

to take such a blow.

clever funny great job!

 

Obi: we're not that bad... I mean, would you want to take the only bright spot out of our lives?

Qui: So, down to blackmail now? I always knew you were an evil sith lover...

Xan: need another Mary Sue? Got plenty on stock if you run out. Just need to let me know. (oh, and just in case, I have the entire galactic supply of superior grade mind blockers. I would be willing to negociate. But there is a price. Contact me if you want to hear more.

Yoda: Haven't seen you as a Sith yet (Maybe missed that one) but wouldn't that be an ides? A 900 year old Jedi Master turned Sith... (I can just picture it:

*******
YODA: What is thy biding, Master?

MASTER: Go over there and count the nice little grains of sand on the beach. That oughta keep you occupied for a while.

Time passes

YODA: Master? I have finished. There are 123'453'567'603 grains of sand on that beach. Master, kill something I can now?

MASTER: Go to your room first and don't come out till hoth has as many grains of sand on its beaches. *yoda hobbles away disappointed*
********

Mace: Or is that Mash? no wait, Mawi? Oh, I can't remember. But aren't you just being a teeny weeny bit childish? I managed to peek a look at those "files"... Am still laughing.

Neon: Those are great. When do we get more? (BTW how bout some Bant. I'm sure she's got plenty to complain about...)

lol

 

<-- Sock of currently-banned JediNemesis

Hilarious.... I will thank the person who gave me the link... You know who you are anyway.

I need to have a look at the Saga version.

Best line : the one about spending seven hours in the bathhroom.

Luco & Nem

(I did NOT get banned for being naughty. I was offed playing Mafia... so there. )

 

That was great as usual, Master.

Obi-wan, stop glaring at me, its not my fault the writer is forcing me to be all cuddly with this pathetic excuse of an ex pad, no offense, Xani, and don?t go looking for your blaster either. Xan here is one of few objects of affection that is keeping some of the torture wave away from you, be grateful. You know, you look like a little demon when you look like that?. Obi, put down the blaster, Obi-wan! Obi-wan, I mean it! Padawan! I swear I didn?t mean it, see, I?m putting Xan down now, so just put away the blaster? Obi-wan Kenobi!

Priceless! This was a great idea, and if possible, the letters get better every time! I loved in the second letter when Qui said something about "Everytime I get shot in the head, it hurts even more." Awesome! I'm starting to feel a bit bad about what I put Xani and Obi through... wait... what am I saying? No I don't! Keep up the hilarity!

 

Loved your latest letters. I was at work when I read about "Obi-Wan's dilemma" - that is soooo true and I've been known to do that as well...still laughing.

Also loved that Obi-Wan was so insanely jealous that he shot Qui-Gon in the head, again! And Qui wearing red because he's been bad Qui...again..LOL.

I think this series of posts is so outright funny because it has the ring of truth. How many of us have done just that - tormented our poor characters for what...angst, humor, horror and just plain fun?

Great work!!!

Glad you made it to the nominations! It is very well deserved.


PS Hi Nem - glad to see you made it here! Told you, did I. Hilarious, it is....

 

Darn double posts. This is getting seriously ridiculous. The boards have been very wonky lately!

 

This is hilarious, please do Anakin next??
(I have no really good reason, I just like him...*ahem*)

Keep up the good work!

 

Loved it, NEON STAR! Better than ever.

Going to go find the Saga version now......


TKJ