Before - Legends Letters of Complaint (humor, first one up is Obi, updated 11/05/06, Yaddle's lament)

I'm a latecomer to the thread, but I had to say that I haven't laughed this hard reading a fic in quite a long while.

Excellent job on them and I know I'm going to be the cause for some scathing comments when I finish the fics I'm currently working on. LOL

 

Late to this as well, but loved the interaction between Dooku & Qui as well! Man did I laugh my boody off!! *snrk* great work!!!! And the Siri one was hilarious!

 

Come on Neon do another one lol pretty please? * looks hopeful*

 

Still no post.

 

Qui-Gon EDITH Jinn? Haha! that's great! And I like to imagine Obi and Xanatos giving each other threats that include the word "wonderfulest!" I'm definately going to add that one to my vocab. And way to play up the "Obi-Wan will be my apprentice or he will be tortured" aspect of many JA stories. But don't get me wrong-I'm not complaining about them at all!

 

Now, let's see who remembers this. So sorry for the exceptionally long wait everyone!

ca_tron: Yeah, Obi is doing rather poorly. And here are more letters!

dianethx: Now you know why Qui doesn't like to reveal his middle name. And what Dooku needs is a way away from his 'dear' former Padawan. Thanks.

Les_Wanderer: Thank you, and I decided for a two for one here.

PatttyB0123: LOL, good idea to run, Dooku doesn't like being reminded that he is getting old.

Layren: I know, its a rather horrible middle name for a guy, isn't it? Thank you, it was rather fun writing their bickering. And yes, I have finally done another one.

Altaira: Yes, he has been. He denies that anything was his fault. Thank you, and I'm flattered you added it to your dictionary.

Calandria: I am glad they gave you so much enjoyment.

amidalachick: Thank you, I try my best. And Dooku is unadmittably scared.

Angel_Jedi_Master: The insane blonde is Siri. And thank you.

Arwen-Jade_Kenobi: I agree, or else Obi will be getting his revenge sooner rather then later. Thanks.

Vampi_Digitalwytch: Welcome to the madness! And thank you, I am glad they made you laugh.

Kynstar: Welcome also, and glad they were funny.

The_Hutt: Hehe, that is exactly what I was going for. Thank you for your comments.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dear fanfic writers,

Tahl and Bant here, we?ve decided that since we have little to complain about, for obvious reasons, we have decided to share the letter, in hopes that perhaps you will see our similar plights and have mercy on us. We doubt it, but we?re going to try anyways!

First off, we would like to say we resent that most writers ignore us. We admit we are not as standout able as Obi-wan, or Qui-gon, or even Xanatos, but we deserve some recognition as well! Who backs Qui and Obi up? We do! So we deserve some consideration, other then a fly by appearance in a story, or a mention. We demand bigger roles; we demand to be noted for what we must suffer for our boys!

I mean, come on, I, Tahl, have to die to bring Qui to the angsty, near dark side point, give me a back ground, give me something stronger then Qui-gon?s blind Jedi almost wife, please! Give me a story to myself, or, I will share with Qui if I have to, but I mean, I am or rather, was, an individual!

Bant here, calm down Tahl. Anyways, I agree. I nearly died to bring Obi to the brink of the angsty side of the Force, I deserve more then, ?His friend Bant always supported him,? roles. I want to actually fight with Obi-wan for once, I want to show more backbone! I?m not that soft, though it?s really hard to resist Obi?s kicked bantha look?

Tahl: Let?s admit it, we are a slave to our boys, Bant.

Bant: That we are, Tahl, though at the current moment, yours owes us.

Tahl: *thud is heard* Did you hear that, Qui darling?

Qui-gon: Ow! Yes, Tahl, thank you both for letting me stay here to escape my insane Padawan.

Bant: You know I am betraying Obi-wan by helping you?

Qui-gon: And I promise to compensate you once he returns to his sane self?

Tahl: You know, Qui-gon, its rather pitiful that you are afraid of a child only half your height, and only one fourth or so your age?

Qui-gon: I?ll have you know that that child is a very very scary person when mad. He has already shot, stabbed, and other wise killed me while in a rage.

Bant: Knowing that, you still betrayed him?

Qui-gon: How as I to know that Siri was looking to kill him?

*Silence*

Qui-gon: Stop giving me that look like if I had lost my mind! It?s the authors!

Tahl: Of course, Qui-gon, its always the writers.

Qui-gon: But it is!

Bant: I think I can hear Obi-wan coming?

Qui-gon: *eeps, ducks under the table*

Tahl: Did he just eep?

Bant: Yes?.

Tahl: *sighs* And this is the man I am in love with.

Qui-gon: I will have you know, that was a manly eep!

Tahl: There is no such thing. But a

 

*Snrk* Manly 'eep' hehehehe!! Loved that part!! hehehehe great post! hehehe!! LMAO! Totally busted out laughing cuz I wasn't expecting the 'eep' hehehe!

Great work! 'Master hunting!' loved that one!

 

hahahhaha ... master hunting indeed....I'll join him in that hunt Nice to see you updating!!!

 

The girls may be asking for too much. Next there will be a Dark side Bant turning redder than her salmon coloring and killing everyone. Sounds like fun.

...a manly eep! Tahl does point out what a girl puts up with for her man.

I loved Xani and Obi?s little exchange and all while fighting Siri? He is talented as Xani is *grins happily*, hope I get one of Obi?s kicked bantha looks for complimenting Xani. *grins again*

It should not be hard to find Qui, is there a tablecloth on that table?

 

I loved the manly eep. And your little letter might just get some juices flowing for a Bant/Tahl story - without the eeper and wonderfulest ones! After all, they were Master and Apprentice for a little while...

 

Hopefully Tahl and Bant should have little to complain about with the one crossover fic I'm still plugging away on slowly but surely. I've got them both doing more than the support roles, though poor Bant's still edgy with calamari meaning something completely different on Earth and we're not practicing some form of cannibalizing of sentients.

 

snrk - "a manly eep" - snrk

Mmmm, to only see Liam say that line.....

or even Euan

 

I know you live right next to me, but I?m currently chained to my bed with evil poisonous bugs crawling up my bed sheets towards my unprotected chest, so I can't currently come to you. In fact, I?m typing this with the Force right now. Gee, and you said my Force control wasn?t good!



That part especially tickled me. Funny stuff

-sj loves kevin spacey

 

I always imagined Obi being the eeper, not Qui.

Glad that there is another letter! Keep 'em coming!

 

Kynstar: Heh, glad you liked the eep, I thought it was rather appropriate for Edith.. Thanks for your comments.

Layren: lol, Obi could use all the help he can get. And thanks, hopefully I?ll update more often soon.

Altaira: LOL! Indeed, they should be careful about what they ask for. And yes, Obi had a serious kicked bantha look on his face when he read that. As for Qui, the tables are too small for him to hide under. Thanks.

dianethx: I am sure the girls will be happy to hear that. And thanks for pointing that out, I completely forgot that while I was writing that post.

Vampi_Digitalwytch: Sounds interesting. J And I?m sure the girls won?t, though you never know with them.

Tanith: Heh It would be rather hilarious if one of them did it. Maybe if someone paid them to they would.

solojones: Thanks.

ca_tron: I tend to take things away from the expected. And I?m trying, thanks for the comments.


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dear fanfic writers,

Hey, Reeft, give me that!

Garen, no, this is my letter!

Can?t we share? I mean, we?re in the same starship, and we?re friends. Friends share!

Not when concerning self, Mr. Cannot be addressed without stating full name.

That is not my fault! Do you think I like being called Garen Muln all the time? Give me that!

*scuffle ensues, crashing sound*

Great job, Reeft, you broke it.

Me?! Why you!

*sounds of footsteps*

Obi-wan: Excuse me? I?m looking for Master Jinn, have either of you seen him?

Garen: Obi-wan! Its been a while!

Obi-wan: Do I know you?

Reeft: We?re your friends, Reeft and Garen Muln.

Obi-wan: *long pause*

Garen: You do remember us, right?

Obi-wan: ?.. Oh! Sorry guys, its just been a long time since I?ve seen you. Now, have you seen Qui-gon?

Reeft and Garen: ?No?.

Obi-wan: Thanks, let me know if you do. *Sounds of walking off*

Reeft and Garen: *sighs*

Reeft: Fine, lets share?

Garen: Thank you.

Again, dear fanfic writers,

This is your favorite missing duo, you know, Obi-wan?s two friends? Yes, Obi-wan had more then just Bant as a friend, we assure you of that. Of course, few know that, seemingly, because we are rarely if ever, mentioned. We would like to know why we are forgotten, when even Siri and Bruck gets more attention. It just doesn?t seem right, considering we were the guys that stood up for poor Obi when he was young. Did you seriously think he kept Bruck at bay by himself? Please, the boy can?t defend himself if he tried, and we know he has.

To those few that remember us, thank you, we love you, most of the time. To those that use us as plot points to kill off to make Obi-wan sad and suicidal, very funny. We want more attention, but that is character abuse! We want more then the not there or dead parts!

We have very little to say? Since we don?t exist, seemingly?.

Remember us, please!

Garen Muln and Reeft

Garen: Let?s go see if Obi-wan kills Qui again.

Reeft: It gets a bit boring after so many times? But okay, race you!

*sound of racing footsteps*
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dear Master,

You might as well come out, I know where you are.

Love,
Your executioner
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dear Padawan,

Bant told you, didn?t she? And no, I don?t think so?.

Your Master
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dear Qui-gon,

She couldn?t resist the pouting look, what can I say? And come on, die like the Jedi you are!

Obi-wan
*~*~*~*~*~*
Obi,

I love you like a son, but I am not going to willingly let you kill me. Think of my reputation!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jinn,

What reputation?

*~*~*~**~*~*~*
Kenobi,

That?s it! I am coming out. I am still the greatest swordsman in this temple, no matter what I promised Yoda and I am not scared of one small Padawan!

(Right?.?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dearest Tahl,

Since its going to be Obi-wan that kills me, I am writing this to you. It is my final will and testament before I leave your refresher and face my Padawan. I already know I?

 

I've missed THREE letters! Egads, though, I haven't laughed so hard since the last ones.

Brilliant!

Nem

 

I have nothing of value, as Xanatos took all the expensive stuff, and Obi-wan broke everything else. My wardrobe is possibly the only thing left of value; though don?t sell it till you know I am fully and completely dead this time?







Hilarious Neon!!

 

hehehe that was funny! Poor Garen and Reeft!

*Snrk* Obi Obi Obi *shakes head* silly boy!

Hehehe man Qui doesn't have too much faith in himself does he? hehehehe

Great work! hehe

 

I loved Garen and Reeft?s little scuffle. They did decide to work together after Obi?s brush off. Reeft?! I still need to go look him up, the name seems vaguely familiar like Cher. Did he die in JA?

Qui has accepted destined fate. So, he doesn?t need the pink shirt anymore. I wonder if it has ruffles. *laughter fades in the distance*

 

Hilarious my dear! JW started the Garen Muln thing but a lot of fanfic writers run with it!

 

OMG, Bant and Tahl! Garen and Reeft! Classic!

 

A "manly eep?" Hahaha! Oh man, I'm going to have to remember that.

"Garen: Obi-wan! Its been a while!
Obi-wan: Do I know you?
Reeft: We?re your friends, Reeft and Garen Muln.
Obi-wan: *long pause*
Garen: You do remember us, right?"

Awww. Poor little Reeft and Garen Muln. (How come I never noticed the whole "full name" thing with Garen? The true sign of a lame friend or infrequently-mentioned character! Oh, you do your research.

"Jinn, What reputation?"

Oh man, Obi sure knows how to apply a proper BURN!
And what on earth is a "Qui Qui?" Agh! I mean, I hope that is a little secret between Tahl and Qui. That should not be allowed anywhere else! Great complaints!

 

*stops to catch breath*

I just have to mention my favorite parts from the last two letters...

Qui-gon: *eeps, ducks under the table*

Tahl: Did he just eep?

Bant: Yes?.

Tahl: *sighs* And this is the man I am in love with.

Qui-gon: I will have you know, that was a manly eep!

Garen: Let?s go see if Obi-wan kills Qui again.

Reeft: It gets a bit boring after so many times? But okay, race you!

*sound of racing footsteps*

Kenobi,

That?s it! I am coming out. I am still the greatest swordsman in this temple, no matter what I promised Yoda and I am not scared of one small Padawan!

(Right?.?)

These letters are so awesome, Neon Star. I'll be laughing all day.

 

How have I missed so many letters?

LMAO Neon!

 

Poor, poor Garen and Reeft. They get no love. I can imagine Yoda wearing a pink shirt.