Beyond - Legends Letters of Complaint to the NJO Authors: 7/21 Tenel Ka and Wes' Letters. Finally. :)

*briefly delurks*



Must...have...more...letters!

 

*still waiting*

 

okay, I love the NJO, but I cant get enough of these, they're great!! Keep it up!

 

He won an award at the SFFA. Best humor!

 

Heh. I can see why you won.

Oh, I have a MAJOR complaint for Jaina. Why did she decide at the end of the series that she wanted to be a politician? Come on. It was easy to see. Anakin was supposed to be like Luke, Jaina like Han, and Jacen like Leia. It's really not all that hard to figure out.

Yeah, these pretty much brought out all of the bad bad, very bad things that the NJO did to the series. Fanfiction is much better.

 

Loved these! Having read the NJO books and tried to think of what characters they could possibly be writing about, I am still puzzled how the SW galaxy morphed into what I see in the NJO books. Don't get me wrong, there are some good ones. But the characters just don't click for me. Wonderful insight into what they would have to say on the matter!

 

Oh Stars!! They were priceless!! Priceless I tell you!!! I loved the "abriviated list" from they who were One With The Force and Mara's letter.

Mara's letter.

Oh STARS That was perfectly amusing!!! I loved them!! I still love them!! I am addicted to them!!! I must have them all!! I will do whatever you wish!!!

*turns to your hubby*

Please sir!! I know you are a fan of your wife's writings, but, please!! I beg of you!!! Tie her down to a chair!! Inspire her to write more!!! Let her creativity flow!!!



OH please write more!! They are perfectly priceless and wonderful!!!

and the letter from the Editors was far, far to accurate. *looks at you suspiciously* You don't secretly work for them do you?..... Kidding, just kidding....

 

ROFLMHO! Kettch, these were awesome! I am anxiously awaiting more. Han's would definately(sp?) be funny, but I want to see Jaina's up real soon. Hurry and get to work.

Cattie

 

ROFLMHO! Kettch, these were awesome! I am anxiously awaiting more. Han's would definately(sp?) be funny, but I want to see Jaina's up real soon. Hurry and get to work.

Cattie

 

Sorry, guess I double posted.

 

Connemara
The next letter will be a character letter. I hope you will like that one even more.


pengwin
Thanks so much; I'm glad to see you in this thread and I will put Corran on the list (if he isn't there already) of characters to do.


DevBinks
Sorry taking so long. Hopefully I'll finish Luke's within a few days.

JM
I'll do a character letter next, probably Luke's.


Darth_Elu
Yes, Zekk has quite a bit to complain about also.


Solo_and_Fel
I put 'history of larceny' into the letter because Kyp's letter mentioned cradle robbing and I figured the DR staff would be so oblivious to that, they would think he meant actual cradle robbing. I'm glad you like the post and hopfully the next one will be soon (by the beginning of next week).


Wes
I actually have most of Tenel Ka's done but the letter itself is more realistic than humor based and it is quite short (even upset I can't see her writing a long letter) so I am waiting until I write another letter from someone else to combine the two.

JediStar
*whacks DR Editoral Staff with Haruko's guitar* Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!!!! LOL! No, I didn't see it directed at me, no worries.

Marsa
I'm glad you liked it. You did write to Bantam? I've never sent a letter to a publishing company; did their response letter look like they had actually read your letter?

djcati
I think the Danni part was my favorite too. A character letter will be next.

Bobbacca
Thanks. I'm glad you liked them.

Laura_Anu
Thanks. I'm glad you thought it was realistic <--It's what I was aiming for.

Vampi
Thank you. Have you ever gotten a "good" response letter from a big corporation?

CodeName_Targeter
They don't know what Carida, the SUn Crusher are, my arse! LOL! I think the point that bothers me the most about the entire NJO mess is that the authors weren't required to read other SW EU books. And, I can't believe very few of them read other SW books. Talk about lack of professional pride and abundance of laziness! Anyway, glad you like the thread.


A/N: I will reply to more responses later and hopefully post a new letter by the beginning of next week.

 

Kettch? Hopefully awaiting the next post.

Cattie

 

NarundiJedi
Thanks. I am glad you like it.

Stormtrooper_Shrink
lol! I am glad you like the letters.

Tekli theInsane
Thanks. It really seemed like DR said somewhere in the middle of the series "Wait, Danni's too unusual: she's strong but not really a Jedi. We need to make her more helpless."

GirlOfFaith
I am glad you like the letters. Thanks.

miranda82
Definitely a waste. But there's always the possibility she will be redeemed in the post-NJO books [face_hopeful]

RK_Striker
Kicked it down the sewers, created a large flood to sweep it far, far, far away...

Wes_Janson
I'm working on Wes now... And thanks for the YJK thread offer.

Pelranius
"You probably could fool a copyright judge with that, it's that realistic sounding" Thank you so much. My goal was to make it realistic while still amusing (and I've never received a complaint response letter before so I wasn't sure at first that it was done well).

Vongchild
Thanks for delurking.

The Jedi Ambyr-Rose
Thanks you very much. My intention is to make the letters as "realistic" and "in character" as I can while still making them amusing.

Daughter of Yubyub
Danni Quee certainly was one of the most wasted characters ever. I definitely won't argue with that. I had such high hopes for her in the beginning...

I love SciFi
More complaints will *crosses fingers* be up tomorrow night at the latest.

Mistress_Renata
I have an idea for Chewie's letter... something a little different (due to the language thing).

Blue Ice-Green Fire
Another good thing about DR: they have given me a lot of material to work with. I am glad you like the letters so far and I hope you continue to enjoy them.

puppyglo


Jade Max
You've captured the characters perfectly. I don't get tired of hearing that. But wow, did you do a great job. The tone of each letter is unique and spot on for characterization. Thanks; I appreciate that. Maybe a Wes, Hobbie, Wedge, Tycho or Winter letter? I'd love to see a Han/Leia letter *grin* or even a Luke letter. Though, Tenel Ka or Jaina would be my ideal choice. I am planning on doing all of those characters. Tenel Ka should be one of the next ones.

Rowan Jade
Thanks for delurking, and thanks for the vote. I truly appreciate it. Glad, I am, that you like the letters so much and I hope to keep you entertained with the further ones.

skywalker4life
Sorry, got sidetracked organizing the fanfic awards. I am back, though, and will have the next post up by tomorrow night.



*

 

Hopefully awaiting next post, which Kettch said would be up today! You should do a Han/Leia one. Either that or a Luke/Leia. See you.

Cattie

 

Not up yet? Still waiting hopefully!

Cattie

 

Not up yet? Still waiting hopefully!

Cattie

 

NO! Not ANOTHER double post! (bangs head on teh wall of the thread, chanting) Don't double post, don't double post, don't double post. (looks up) Okay, I'm better now.

Cattie

 

Whitey
You got a response concerning Anakin? What did it say?

Dev Binks
Yeah, I hope they redeem her character in the post-NJO trilogy but I don?t have much hope. And, thanks for mentioning the award.

Lady Jedi Carenix
Thanks for delurking.

JediStarMoonstruck


CptCorranHorn
Thank you. I am glad you like them.

Jaya Solo
Jaina wanted to be a politician at the end? I have to admit to pretty-much skimming TUF so I don?t remember that. Could you tell me whatever details you remember so that I can include it in her letter?

DreamOfKenobi
Thanks. And, I don?t understand a lot of it either.

Agent_Jaid
I still love them!! I am addicted to them!!! I must have them all!! I will do whatever you wish!!! lol! I am glad that you like them so much. and the letter from the Editors was far, far to accurate. *looks at you suspiciously* You don't secretly work for them do you?..... Hmmm? there?s a thought. I can guarantee you, though, that if I worked for them then I would have done whatever necessary to improve the series: ?No, editor, so-and-so has not turned in his manuscripts. Oh, wait a moment. Here?s one from my desk; this must be it.?

Handmaiden Rabe
Thanks. I have quite a bit of material to work with for Jaina?s letter, I just do not know how to do the tone. There is such a drastic difference in her character between the EU and the NJO that I just don?t know how I am going to pull it off. Hopefully the inspiration bird will grace me with its presence soon.
As for Leia?s, I will probably do hers last. Oh, and do not worry about the double posts. It happens to us all.

 

First of all a great big Thank You to everyone who voted for this story in the fanfic awards. I cannot tell you how excited and appreciative I was that so many people voted for this thread and made it the 2004 Summer Beyond the Saga Best Humor Story. *Kettch hands out chocolate to all her readers* The only bad part is now I am somewhat nervous about disappointing you if I do not do as well on further letters, which ties in nicely to my next point?

I am very sorry for taking so long to get these next letters posted. As most of you know, I organized the awards and even with a huge amount of help from so many great board members I was still spending hours a day (pretty much every day for a month and a half) working on the awards. However, now they are over so you should not have to wait that long for another update ever again.

One other note before I get to the letters. I was attacked by a plot bunny who emerged victorious in our brief struggle and therefore have started another humorous story. It is called [link=http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/16419825/?41]Who Wants to Marry Me?[/link] and is a ?Reality Show? in which Wes Janson helps the bachelor Obi-Wan Kenobi find a girl out of 12 star wars females (some from each era) for his very own. If you like reality shows, you will probably like this story. If you hate reality shows, you will love this story.

And now, on to the letters.

Oh, one final note. Since one of my main goals is to keep these letters ?in-character? Tenel Ka?s letter is brief as she is not a garulous person. Wes Janson?s letter is not caustic like Mara?s or Han?s (will be) because I don?t believe that is his personality. So, while these two letters are short, they are (I hope) realistic.


*********************************


I am a warrior. The daughter of a warrior, the granddaughter of a warrior. You convince me that my best friend, the man I love is dead: I do not fall. You kill my mother dishonorably after destroying my parents? relationship: I do not stumble. You force me to become Queen Mother, the impossible future that I hate most: I do not waver. You bring my love back once we can no longer match our futures together: I do not weaken. The war goes by and I am forced to stand aside not fighting: I do not falter.

I am a Jedi Knight and yes the Queen Mother. I am Tenel Ka: I do not fall I do not hesitate I do not fail.

But I do remember.

And I know my enemies.

And I know there are no others who have created so much pain

agony

fear

hate.

I will not fall but I will remember

And I will fight

I will insure that you are never able to cause pain to others again

I am the ruler of 63 worlds. I do not fail.

I am Tenel Ka.

*********************************


Authors: My all-important introduction into the NJO and you have me flirt with a nine year old? With Jaina Solo?! Do I look like I have black hair and green eyes to you? Just because I couldn?t decide on just one female to marry in the EU does not mean that I would fall for a little girl who encompasses the personalities of all the females I?ve ever met. Really! I can tell that all but one of you authors is oblivious to who Wes Janson is. He?s not just a superior pilot but also handsome, a hero, the galaxy?s best dressed savior, and a lot more. It?s obvious that you really know nothing about me or you would have put me in every book of the NJO. Why, I would have been the leader of the New Jedi Order?and don?t give me that nonsense about me not having any force skills; you were changing every other character?s personalities so why not just give me a little force sensitivity? At least enough to convince Tycho and Wedge that they are wearing flight suits when really they put on Driconian sleep-wear. Or enough force skills to do those Jedi mind tricks?I could have lightened up the entire war with them and used it to convince the Vong that they needed to ?go home and rethink their life?. But alas, no. You give me no Jedi pow

 

First post snagged!

EDIT:

Brilliant! Bloody brilliant! Tenel Ka's was spot-on perfect, and believe you me, I know everyone's favorite warrior queen. And Wes'...pardon me.

*Striker goes away and attempts to stop seizure-inducing laughter*

Ahem...not bad...okay, screw it. that too was 'brilliant! Bloody brilliant!' You deserve 'funniest'.

 

Do I look like I have black hair and green eyes to you?

*snicker*

Oh man, Wes's is brilliant. That's the funniest thing I've read all day - *glances at clock* - and yesterday! XD;;

Awesome still. Simply awesome.

 

Hehehehe.
Wes' squadron names were hilarious. If someone had to call out of the Don't-Make-Me-Land squadron... it'd definitely be amusing. Although, I have to say most people would probably give up before trying to call out the squadron name with all the k's.
Nice job on this post and the SFFA's, Kettch.

 

*tries to not die of laughter* Those are genius Kettch! You're a bloody genius, gal, how old are you anyways? You got Wes right on cue. I wouldn't know about Tenel Ka though, never read a YJK book in my life.

 

wipes tears from eyes.... LOL @ my wesssssie!


me woveys him!


that was great....


oh yeah.. and tenels was great too!

 

Not much to say about Ten's letter... But Wes's steals the gold.

Authors: My all-important introduction into the NJO and you have me flirt with a nine year old? With Jaina Solo?! Do I look like I have black hair and green eyes to you? Just because I couldn?t decide on just one female to marry in the EU does not mean that I would fall for a little girl who encompasses the personalities of all the females I?ve ever met.

Harsh.

You give me no Jedi powers, don?t let me save the galaxy, don?t let me play even ONE prank on Wedge?that?s why he was so sad about the whole war thing going on?and only mention me in two books.

So THAT'S the reason!

And, even when you do mention me you get it wrong. Yellow ships with black stripes? No way. Any squadron I led would have all it?s ships painted dark colors with large glaring eyes painted on the cockpits and huge rocks painted on the wings, like ewoks ready for battle. And all the squadron members would have call signs such as Kettch Lead, Kettch-ya, Kettch-up, Kettch-meifyoucan. Yellow and black stripes is boring. And a squadron named Taanab Yellow Aces? That sounds like something Hobbie would think up?if you didn?t let him name it Doomed Squadron, Run-While-You-Can Squadron or Don?t-Make-Me-Land Squadron. My squadron would have a more inspiring name like Killer Kettch Kan Katch Kou Kquadron (the KKKKKK) or Better Than Wedge Squadron or even Wes is the Best Pilot in the Entire Galaxy and He Has the Biggest Fan Club in the Entire Universe Squadron. Yellow Aces squadron my?



Excellent job! I don't think I stopped laughing since the start.

~Glo