Beyond - Legends Letters of Complaint to the NJO Authors: 7/21 Tenel Ka and Wes' Letters. Finally. :)

You know...maybe I should just print this out so I can read it again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again... (well, you get my drift)

This was fantastic! You touched upon what many Star Wars fans felt was the most screwed up part of the New Jedi Order series, and did so in a hilarious way. Each of the letters fit the characters perfectly, based on who they were before GL and crew decided to mess with their personalities.

There were so many fantastic lines in there that I would probably just have to copy and paste every letter you've posted thus far. Great job!

Just one nitpick: I have one word for you: Danni. Heck, if you?re going to make me rob the cradle at least give me the barefoot girl. Half Vong or not, she?s a lot more stable than Jaina.
Don't you mean Tahiri? Oh...wait...never mind. I figured it out

Can't wait for more!

~LtJS

 

I just wanted to let you all know that I am working on the next post and will respond to your replies, hopefully this weekend.

I also have another "surprise" for this next post, if it works out.


Thanks for continuing to check on this thread.

KTJ

Edit: Hey, this was the 201st post!!!! Yeah!!!

 

I just came across this one and one of my favourite forms of fanfic are the 'Letters of Complaint'/Reactionaries to Fanfics ones.

While I'm not familiar with the NJO series, I've definitely heard plenty about the assorted problems with continuity and handling on them, and needless to say, I laughed reading these.

Of course both my cat and dog think I'm crazy now.

 

OMG
They are all AWESOME and hilarious. XD
I think my favourite letter was Kyp's, but I liked them all.
I loved Ganner's last comment.

But the best, best line, that I found funniest..

"Bring back to our galaxy confusing bird, you did. Know how hard I worked to get rid of her, you do not. Then send her to same situation as me, you did. Sick of her, I am."

OMGYES

 

*Has read new letter several times but has not yet replied*



I beg pardon!

Anyways, awesome letter. - and the attachment was great! More, more!

 

this is really good

 

Awesome! Especially enjoyed the sarcasm

 

JediStarMoonstruck
I'm sorry about the stress and the killing Chewbacca. My response was more anger. And, true, Vader probably would have been more upset with DR than Luke. I guess I was just on a roll with Anakin wanting people killed and went a little too far. It's kind of funny but I never really thought about Anakin Skywalker's reaction to Anakin Solo's choice in a best friend/girlfriend until I was writing the attachments part and it popped into my head. Okay, I admit their opinions are mostly my own. :>

green_eyes
Your book in the freezer? Why the freezer? And, I do plan on doing something from Chewie but not exactly a letter. :> Something a little different...

JalendavilLady
Thanks. That attachments were good because I got to include a lot of different complaints.

Shinar
Thanks for delurking! And, I am glad you like the thread. As for the authors reading it... honestly I'm not so sure they would understand since most of them seemed pretty clueless about a lot of the SW stuff found outside the NJO series and the movies.

Pelranius
Hmmm... They did resurrect him, kind of. And they portrayed him as a hero leader in the end. Can you think of any complaints from him?

Spike2002
Thanks. I did a couple of rewrites to try to make the letter sound like it came from Anakin as much as I could. And I am glad you like the Skywalker attachment. Can't you just see him being one with the Force crying, "No! Don't do it Luke!"

CodeName_Targeter
Thanks. And, you are right. We will probably never know what the authors/editors intended to happen to Raynar, unless DR decides to do another series after the NJO. <--Oh, that's a scary thought. I got shivers just thinking about it. I think I will stick with fanfic.

TahiriSolo77
Thanks! I'm glad you are finding so many lines you like. I have to admit, the Force not being able to stand being one with Jacen was probably my favorite line in the attachments. Well, one of two favorite lines anyway.

Daughter_of_Yubyub
Thanks. The vid would definitely be a best seller. Oh! I can't believe I forgot about Lusa! [forehead=smacks]. And ya have to figure a character like Vergere would probably annoy Yoda.

Solo_and_Fel
Thank you. I am pleased that the story is making you laugh.


More responses coming later...

 

jediknightleia
Thanks. As for Leia's letter... I'm going mostly in order of inspiration (along with what the majority want). We'll see about Leia.

JM
this coming from ?Mr. Sit out the Rebellion on Dagobah?
LOL! Very true!

RK_Striker
Thank you so much! I'm glad I could cause so much laughter. And, I wish they would have listened also.

Tych_sel
Thanks for the input and I'm glad you are liking the letters so much.

The Jedi Ambyr-Rose
I was laughing out loud so hard that my parents yelled at me twice so they could hear their show.
. Thank you for your encouraging word. I hope you like the rest of the letters just as much.



and more responses later...





0

 

I have a wild theory that our friend Raynar Thul went dark, killed Lomi and Welk, and will be (one of) the main plot figures in the Denning trilogy.
...
I really can't remember where that came from, except it came to me when I re-read SbS last month.. y'know.. all the YJK's felt was a surge in the Force, that may or may not have been Raynar.. coulda been him killing Lomi and Welk... right?

OK, I'm done being off-topic.
These letter are still awesome.
I can't WAIT for the next one... whee~

 

Trickster
Thank you so much.

Whitey
I'm glad the story caused you to laugh so much. Can't you just see Yoda and Vergere bickering?

Dev
Yeah, I don't think he would have put up with an invading species for so long. Course, then the series wouldn't have lasted as long... wait! Is that a bad thing?

Jedi of Destiny
You are welcome. And thanks for your comments.

I love Sci Fi
Thanks.

Saturniila
Thank you for the suggestions. I will definitely try to get those in.

TheCrazyRodian
Me too. Can't you just see them bickering back and forth?

Lyrienne
Thank you. I hope you will like the next ones just as much.

Shinar


Connemara
Thanks. Hopefully!

Lt_Jaina_Solo
Thanks so much. I really appreciate your comments and that was exactly what I was aiming for.

Vampi
Thanks. There's been a couple of times I've felt silly about lol in front of others.

djcati
Thanks for your comments. And I think you found one of my all-time favorite lines in this thread so far... Oh, and about Raynar: that theory is definitely plausable but with how...ummm...forgetful DR is they probably have already forgot about him.

Stormtrooper
Glad you liked it.

333
Thank you.

miranda
Many people (who know me) have mentioned that my first name should be Sarcasm.

 

Below is a response letter from the Del Rey Editorial Staff in response to the Kyp letter. First I posted the Kyp letter in blue as a reminder, then comes the new letter. Keep in mind that the DR letter is fictional and, no, I did not write it as we would like for them to respond. Instead I wrote it how I believe they would respond (if they did at all). Next will come a regular character complain letter but let me know if you like this and maybe I will do another one later.

BTW, there are some subtle points in the DR letter that you might have to read Kyp's letter once or twice more to understand. Hope you like it...

**************************************

Dear NJO Authors and Editors,

There is such a thing as carrying a grudge too far. Sure, I wiped out Carida but even Vader was redeemed in his life and he annihilated pretty much the entire Jedi order. I just aimed for an imperial training center (which probably ended up preventing thousands of deaths at their trained hands).

Anyway, Skywalker?s punishment was being forced to live in an ugly suit with an annoying breathing mechanism. I was turned into a failed cradle-robber with a revenge and rebellion obsession.

Let?s start with the cradle-robbing. Come on! With all the single females in the star wars galaxy and you had me fall for Miss I-have-more-mood-swings-than-a-jawa-has-fleas? That was a good idea: combine a man once controlled by an evil Sith Lord with the Sith Lord who killed the most Jedi in history?s granddaughter. I have one word for you: Danni. Heck, if you?re going to make me rob the cradle at least give me the barefoot girl. Half Vong or not, she?s a lot more stable than Jaina.

Now let?s proceed to the whole rejection thing. Do you really think any female would choose Captain Cardboard over a handsome, daring, exciting Jedi Master? You need to get out more. And, realistically, if I was as horrible as you?ve made me out to be, wouldn?t I have shot the chiss wanna-be in the beginning?

Lastly, your memories must have more holes than Hoth does snow: how could you forget about me for the last third of the series?! In the beginning, I was central to the plot. In the end, my only use was as a tour guide to the child that rejected me. What was I supposed to be doing during the entire Sekot mission? Raising up an all-Ewok army to defeat the Vong? It?s utterly embarrassing.

So, as one of the important NJO characters I am demanding a rewrite of the entire series. Still not willing to redo your work? Might I mention that with the war being over I have had some time to check on the sun crusher and found that she?s still quite accessible...

Sincerely,
Kyp Durron
Jedi Master




************************************
Dear Mr. Durron,

Thank you for your letter. The editorial staff at Del Rey is pleased that you enjoyed the New Jedi Order series. We especially are glad that you wrote us a letter listing your concerns about the series, as we try to take every opportunity to improve the work that Del Rey publishes.

That said, we are now going to address some of the comments that you made. First, we would like to apologize for the complication that arose due to the Star Wars character Danni Quee. We understand your--and many other males in the books'-- attraction to her as she had such a unique personality in the beginning of the series, but that error was our fault. We try to make every attractive female in the Star Wars galaxy either a politician/fighter or a Jedi warrior, in part to avoid the kind of rivalry that arises from such a distinctive character, but somehow Danni's abnormal personality slipped into the books. We did try to rectify the situation by turning her into a helpless, pointless character at the end of the series as well as producing artword that portrayed her as extremely unattractive. Again we are sorry for the confusion.

Next, we would like to say how gratified we were by your appreciation concerning our decision to instigate romantic interest between yo

 

Interesting. But honestly I much preferred the letters from NJO characters. Not that this wasn't amusing, I just prefer hearing from the characters, those bits are amazingly funny.

 

Oh kettch, frickin' hilarious as always. I'm kicking myself for not realizing this was around sooner.
I don't know how you manage to crack me up the way you do but it makes my day.
My favorite line out of all of them
it is not against the rules for you to read star wars books by other authors
Classic. If you run out of ideas I would love to see what you would do with Corran.

 

Kettch, those are great, and of course DR would be filled with oblivious idiots! NOw do more character letters!

 

I think having a character complain about being turned into a ?helpless, pointless character? is more amusing to me than having ?Del Rey? saying that they did that, not as blatant a ?NJO Sucks! Other stuff Roolz! LOL!?

Still found it funny though. Enjoyed the misunderstandings with them thanking Kyp for thanking him when he was actually complaining.

Enjoyable.

 

I prefer the character complaints as well, but that was good. Great work here Kettch!

I can't wait for Zekk's.

 

That was funny and I would definitely read it and most likely be amused if you did more responses in the future.

somehow Danni's abnormal personality slipped into the books. We did try to rectify the situation by turning her into a helpless, pointless character at the end of the series as well as producing artword that portrayed her as extremely unattractive.

Ha. Of course interesting or diverse would be accidental.

...the cardboard captain?although many aliens inhabit the Star Wars Universe, inanimate objects do not participate in the activities of the galaxy?

I could just see someone saying 'wait, I don't remember approving inanimate objects as a central part of the story line...' and then writing it down as an idea just in case they ran short of ideas later. Quite funny.

Although it did seem like they were contradicting themselves when the mentioned his 'history of larceny' but then said carida and the sun crusher didn't exist.

Nice job, Kettch.

 

Melikes.


Tenel Ka, and Wes/Hobbie. Now.

 

The following items are unfamiliar to us and thus not a part of the Star Wars Universe: Carida, the cardboard captain?although many aliens inhabit the Star Wars Universe, inanimate objects do not participate in the activities of the galaxy?and the sun crusher.

*whacks DR Editoral Staff with Haruko's guitar* Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!!!!

I say we need to send these letters to someone (complaints) seeing as the company in question has been welcomed back!

I LIKED THE KJA'S TRIOGY!!!! IDIOTS!

Note: I hope you don't see this as directed at you, Kettch.

 

Just so you know....




Convultions!!


This was hilarious!! It actually reminds me of a letter I got from Bantam when I asked them a SW question about six(?) years ago!!

It was perfect!!!

We try to make every attractive female in the Star Wars galaxy either a politician/fighter or a Jedi warrior....

It's so true!!


We did try to rectify the situation by turning her into a helpless, pointless character at the end of the series as well as producing artwork that portrayed her as extremely unattractive.

That was the part that caused the convultions.


And of course they've never heard of the Sun Crusher!!

Won-der-ful!!!! ~M

 

I could just see someone saying 'wait, I don't remember approving inanimate objects as a central part of the story line...' and then writing it down as an idea just in case they ran short of ideas later. Quite funny.
Yes. YES!
Oh wow, that made me laugh even more than the letter itself, and that's a lot.

Although, 'twas not as good as the character letters, IMO.
Still funny though, especially the stuff about Danni. hehe... indeed...

 

lmao, those were brilliant. Jacen's was best IMO, but I liked them all.

 

That was great! I loved DR's reply...it sounds like something you would get in the mail after sending them an evil letter! Keep it up!

 

The Del Ray response was dead on with what replies I've gotten from TV studios when I've ranted and frothed politely at the mouth when they've mucked with the few shows I enjoy.

It's perfectly clueless with how the 'big boys' can be with thier own material.

I can't wait to see if they respond to the other complaints.