Title: Lover and Beloved Author: Briannakin Timeframe: 8ABY Characters: OCs (Pan/Teilo), and Established Characters (Bail/Breha, Winter/Tycho). Categorization: AU (legends) Genre: Romance Notes: I had an itch to write some SW, so I decided to try my hand at some MMM (see spoiler tag). I had no idea where this was going, kinda turned out weird because I had no plot in mind and the parts didn’t really work out into nice, even “chapters”. But I love the ending and I had so much fun with the characters so I might turn this into a short stories series surrounding my OCs (okay, I totally am). This is a continuation of my 2018 diary ‘Just Pan’ (it's not that long; I was so disappointed that my muse fizzled and died on). Not much about that AU/this OC is needed to know to understand this fic - I explain both the AU and the OC in the fic But in a nutshell, it’s your basic “Anakin never went Sith” AU and Pan (main OC) is the overdramatic son of Former Chief of State of the New Republic Bail Organa and Queen Breha. Spoiler: MMM prompt It's been a long year; your characters deserve to have some fun, so why not send them on vacation? This can be anything you like: a family road trip, a romantic getaway, a camping trip with the buddies... Does it go horribly wrong? Wonderfully right? A little bit of both? I decided to write this in first person present tense, and then I realized I hated it, so I changed it to past tense. So there might be some odd tenses if I missed anything/decided I didn’t want to change it - I left some in present tense to indicate Pan is telling this from the future but some stuff hasn’t changed. Basically, it’s a weird experiment in POV. Part 1 The third scariest day of my life was the day I came out as gay. I was 14 and just a bag of hormones held together by pure social anxiety. I mean, my parents are both loving, caring people, but being the Prince of Alderaan - a matriarchal monarchy - it was a bit of a shock to the culture. My sister, Winter, (thankfully) is the heir to the throne, but the only way women can climb the Alderaani social ladder is to marry princes… and (other than my dad) I’m the only one. So I disappointed many women and young girls that day. The second scariest day was the day I crashed a star-fighter into an asteroid and almost died. It was a year prior to the events of this story and I was 25. A year prior to the accident I had joined the Galactic Navy after a bad break-up (never date a Jedi, especially when that Jedi is the son of Grand Master Anakin Skywalker. It took me an embarrassing long time to get over Luke). I almost died and permanently kriffed my body to the outer rim: I broke some major bones, severed my spinal cord at my mid-chest, and gave myself some pretty nasty brain damage. Medical tech did a lot for me, but my brain still hasn’t totally healed and my body rejected the spinal implant, so now I’m the gay, disabled, Prince of Alderaan. And that’s my life summed up. Except for Teilo. My boyfriend. At the point of the scariest day of my life (not really, but being overdramatic is kinda my thing), we had been together for about four months, but I was just smitten, even then. It was our first Lovers and Beloved weekend. I remember waking and Teilo was asleep next to me. His mouth was hanging open as he softly snored, and his fluffy auburn hair was all over the white pillow. What he saw in me, I don’t know, but I was completely in love, even back then. That day, Teilo and I were going on holiday. We were spending Lovers’ and Beloved weekend at the royal family’s cabin up in the Juran mountains. It’s a beautiful, relaxing place, secluded from the business of life by trees, snow, and frost. Being the son of Queen Breha and Prince Bail does have its advantages. When I was growing up, the cabin was a favourite retreat of my parents when they wanted to take us away from the public eye. So, when Teilo suggested we go on a short, romantic get away, I suggested we go up to the cabin. But then I remember thinking maybe it wasn’t the best idea. The cabin wasn’t hoverchair accessible. I had forgot about that part. When I realized this a week before the trip, Teilo just shrugged and told me we’d figure it out; that he would carry me around if needed. That’s what makes him so great. Not only is he kind, compassionate, and selfless, he’s also willing to try; he’s never let inaccessibility (or my fear of it) stop him and I from doing something. I reached down to smooth his hair. My spinal cord injury allows me to move my arms and wrist, but I don’t have fine motor control in my fingers, so my hands are in loose fists. So I can’t run my fingers through his cute curls like I want to. My injury is categorized as “incomplete” so I do have some feeling below my injury level, which is both good and bad. It’s nice for my love life, but even after a year at that point, I was still dealing with chronic pain from my injuries (and still am). I can mostly feel pain, pressure… and rather pleasurable areas. I can’t feel more gentler touches or temperature. Teilo was on his stomach, facing me. His skin was pale and his plump lips were slightly hanging open. I places my hand in the centre of his back to gently rub. I just like showing him physical affection when I can, because he shows so much to me. He slowly woke with a groggy smile. It wasn’t my intention, but the alarm was going to go off any minute and I figured I would wake him much more peacefully. “Good morning, handsome,” he said, rising from his single pillow and joining me on my piles of automatic positioning pillows. He settled on my chest. “Did you sleep alright? You aren’t in much pain this morning are you?” “No,” I say as kissed my jaw. My cheeks were kinda stubbly - I needed a shave that morning. “You sleep alright?” He nodded. “I always sleep well when I’m here with you.” He sat up and began to rub my shoulders, slipping his hands between my body and pillows. He rubs my neck. “Can I check your body for pressure sores?” he asks. Everyday I have to check my skin for pressure sores. I have a care-droid, but I prefer Teilo’s touch. “I can get —.” “Don’t say it’s name!” Teilo grumbled Teilo hated my first care-droid, B6-LTZ, which turned on and responded when I said Beesix. “And we aren’t taking it along to the cabin.” I rolled my eyes. “This argument again?” I sighed. “This is a get-away, this is a vacation, for you too! Taking care of my butt isn’t a holiday.” “Pan,” he breathed my name, exasperated. “Caring for you isn’t work. Dealing with that judgemental droid is. It doesn’t like that I’m with you.” I laughed. “Teil! Droids can’t be homophobic!” “I think it is. I think it might kill me if I’m alone in the mountains with you. It’s not coming with us this evening. I just want a weekend with you and no one else.” I sat up as much as I could, pressing his forehead to his. “I don’t want to exhaust you.” “Ohhh, Prince Panimaxander.” His voice was husky as he breathed my full first name. I hate it, except when he says it in that sexy tone of his. “I think you will discover that it will be I exhausting you.” My breaths came in pants as he began kissing my neck, up to my ear. Then the alarm went off and we both groaned with disappointment at the interruption of the upcoming day. He had to go work - he’s a negotiator. But no, not like a Jedi or nerdy hero in hostage negotiation. Nope. He mostly deals with labour disputes between companies and unions. He also sometimes does international trade negotiations but he doesn’t like those because they usually involve a lot of research and paperwork. I too had some stuff to get through before we can make our escape. I was back in school, part-time at the University of Alderaa, getting my degree in Advanced Celestial Navigation. At the time I had already decided I wanted to help compute hyperspace lanes for some of the more outer rim planets - make navigation to and from quicker and more efficient. And then I had physical therapy after class. Fuuuun (that was sarcasm). “Beesix,” I called. Teilo scowled as the silver, sleek, yet large droid powered up. “Yes, your highness.” The droid came over and his photoreceptors picked up on Teilo straddling me. “I see Mister Teilo Kunsa stayed the night… again.” Okay, maybe Beesix was a bit condescending. * * * I returned to my suite in Alderaa Palace in the late afternoon completely exhausted. I was still in my hoverchair, directing Beesix to pack for me. I needed to pack so much stuff, it made the idea of this trip simply daunting. I needed a bag for my clothes - and back up clothes if I had a refresher accident - and toiletries, but I also needed my pain medications, positioning pillows, personal repulsor pack, and other medical supplies. The whole list became so overwhelming. I used to be able to throw everything I needed for a month into a shoulder bag. “Your highness?” Beesix asked, folding my pyjamas. “Will you require my services on this trip?” I hesitated. I wanted Beesix because he was able to lift me, transfer me from my hoverchair to a bed or couch, dress and bathe me, and preform basic medical tasks. And this was my first night not in a medcenter or in my suite here in the palace. But Teilo had said he wanted just the two of us to have an intimate weekend, and I wanted that too. “No,” I replied. “You can power down after I leave.” It was then that I heard my suite door whoor open. I glided my hand over the control of my hoverchair and turned to see my boyfriend in his nice work pants, grey sweater, and black overcoat. He had a bag thrown over his shoulder and a smile on his face. I could only assume all the things he needs for the weekend were in the small bag he had already packed. He was used to packing by that point. Teilo and I had discussed it before, but he always shot me down; I wanted to move in together, but his place isn’t big enough for my needs and it was a bit awkward for him to live with me since I technically still lived with my parents in the palace. It just another complicating factor of our relationship. He leaned down and kissed me on my lips. “Hey there handsome. How was your day?” “Tiring,” I sighed. “Physical therapy was gruelling today. I’m also starving.” Teilo laughed. “I’m hungry too. I say we hit a speed-through and grab something on the way into the mountains. You ready to go?” I nodded, hoping I had everything - it’d be a 3 hour drive back. “How was your day?” I asked. He shrugged as he placed his small bag and my smaller bag on my lap. “Fairly dull. I had a three hour meeting and I wanted to drive your head through a wall.” He picked up my larger bag, turned on the repulsor, and pulled it behind him. “Well, dull by your standards must mean it was pretty boring.” He rolled his eyes. “But I’m looking forward to an entire weekend with you.” * * * We grabbed some meat sliders for dinner and Teilo drove us up into the mountains in his speeder. We ate and talked. I had to stay awake to direct him and tell him the codes for him to enter for the security gates. It was a peaceful ride and so beautiful. I love looking at snow-covered trees and it is simply so quiet up here. Teilo finally parked speeder in the garage and I was struggling to remain conscious. The pain I was in from the long ride was the only thing keeping me awake. Thankfully, I sent an royal aid up here earlier in the day with food (and alcohol) to stock up the kitchen and to turn on the heat and water. Teilo leaned over to kiss me. “Let’s get you inside and stretched out on a couch or bed.” “No,” I said, forcefully, and he jumped back. I was clearly over-tired and my emotions were spilling out. And looking up at the set of stairs - stairs which I couldn’t go up in my hoverchair as they were not wide enough for the repulsors to float against with me in the chair - just broke me. I began sobbing. “I didn’t want to come up here without Beesix. I don’t want to lay on the couch while you’re unpacking. I don’t want to be a burden.” I laid my head in my hands. “Do you want me to turn around and drive us back? Because I’ll be honest, that is on top of the list of ‘things I don’t want to do’. Not on the list of ‘things I don’t want to do’ is carry you into this beautiful cabin and cuddle with you.” He sighed. “If you really want to leave, we can, but I would at least like to spend the night here. You can let me know how you feel in the morning.” Honest negotiating is what I love about Teilo. “Okay,” I agreed. I reach over and put my hand on his. “Sorry for having a Wookiee moment on you.” He grinned. “I’m pretty sure it was more like a whiny pitten moment. But I still love you.” I gasped but smiled back. I reached back behind the seat to turn on my repulsor pack that laid on the floor so I could easily grab it. He let me do it by myself. I got my arms through the straps. My repulsor pack is similar to a jetpack without the toxic fumes, but it isn’t exactly comfortable, nor does the power pack last very long, but it lifts me from a couch or bed and into my hoverchair, or it can get me up stairs if someone lifts my legs. I hold the control stick in the palm of my hand and control it with my other palm. Teilo got out, opened my door, and scooped up my knees. We worked together to get me out of the speeder and up the set of stairs. He palmed opens the door. “We just have to get down this hallway, then it opens up into the lounge and the kitchen,” I told him… and then my repulsor pack died, causing me to (slowly) fall on my butt. Teilo just laughed. He does that when things go wrong. He’s not laughing at me; he’s trying to put me at ease. “I got you, Pan. I’m going to pick you up.” I nodded. He bent his knees and picked me up, bridal style. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and kissed his jaw. “You’re going to love it here,” I told him. The cabin was quite homely - it still is - with dark wood walls and light furnishings. My mom decorated the place with candles and quilts always within grabbing distance. The main floor has a generally open floorpan with a huge fireplace, one refresher and bedchamber. The lounge goes off into a large outdoor veranda without a hot fizz-tub. Down in the cellar there are more bed chambers, storage, and a steam room. The main bedchamber suites are upstairs and there’s a loft. There’s loads of things to do, both inside and out in the fresh air. While I could no longer do some of the more intense snow sports, we could still go for walks and go sledding! As we entered the main living space, we were greeted by the most horrifying image ever: my parents kissing on one of the couches, wrapped in a quilt, sitting in front of a roaring fire.