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Beyond - Legends (Luke Skywalker is) Dying of the Light (Ben narrates) [complete]

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Lady_Tahiri, Jan 4, 2010.

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  1. dm1

    dm1 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 9, 2004
    Brilliant story. I really liked when Leia turned the eulogy over to Han. He may be no orator, but he speaks from the heart, which is exactly what was needed in this situation. His words had me in tears. The poem at the end was an excellent choice, as was interjecting the traditional Jedi credo throughout.

    Well done!
     
  2. Jedi_GrooGrux

    Jedi_GrooGrux Jedi Knight

    Registered:
    Jan 11, 2010
    This was excellent. Thank you for taking the time to share it.
     
  3. whateveritis12

    whateveritis12 Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 29, 2008
    I think you should continue on with Ben's adventure from this storyline. What you have is extraordinarily touching story, it just feels undone. I found myself looking forward to seeing what Ben does to help the Jedi and Tahiri after everything, instead I found myself disappointed that this is the end.

    I won't push you into this, but it'll make me a very, very happy customer.
     
  4. ViariSkywalker

    ViariSkywalker Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 9, 2002
    He was transfixed by the imminent tragedy of another time, another place, another boy who needed his guidance. I didn?t suppose it had ever occurred to him that this boy still needed him.

    I was wrong.

    He said, Fear is of the dark side.

    I said, Don?t you mean anger?

    You?re angry because you?re afraid. You?re afraid of being abandoned. What?s more, you?re afraid of someday being the one doing the abandoning. You?re afraid of turning out like me.

    I won?t make the same mistakes.

    Son, we all make the same mistakes.

    I wondered then if I were doomed to repeat this dance as fathers and sons had done for eons without end, if the bone-deep convictions of my adolescent soul were as nothing to the inexorable progress of time and fate.


    This whole section? wow. (Okay, honestly, I could say wow about the whole post, but you know. ;)) And such incredible insights into both Luke and Ben?s characters!


    The corner of my father?s mouth twitched. No in so many words, no. Then he said, Is there anything you?d like to say to your mother?

    Is there anything you?d like to say to your son? I countered.

    Yes, he said. You?re a better man than me.


    Awesome dialogue here. You say so much in such a short space. I'm in awe of how spot-on your dialogue has been throughout this story.


    As I shifted my center of balance from one leg to the other, I reflected that Tahiri would have approved of the thick layer of sturdimoss which carpeted the chamber, making shod feet unnecessary and even unpleasant. Tahiri was not present, or I would have insisted on her standing with me and the rest of the family, regardless of the amount of hubbub it might have caused. As it happened, Jag in his starch-white uniform was causing plenty of hubbub all by himself.

    Your attention to detail here totally pays off. I especially like this section with the description of moss and how Tahiri would have approved. Also, that Ben would have had Tahiri stand with the family. I agree! And yay for Jag causing hubbub. [face_laugh]


    ?But what are the journalists going to think??

    ?That our family has good taste, presumably.?


    [face_laugh] Well played, Ben. Well played.

    Genius move, having Han take over the eulogy. I was not expecting that, but when it happened it seemed so natural, so obvious. Well done!

    Okay, I was going to try to quote parts of Han?s speech that I really loved, and I realized I would have to quote it all. :p This speech honestly made me cry. I haven?t cried while reading a story in quite some time, so you know, kudos. [face_love]


    I no longer wondered what Aunt Leia was up to. There was a film of moisture in the nearest attendees? eyes, even some whose species I wasn?t aware possessed tear ducts. I had felt the mood of the room shift from anxiety and intense curiosity to rumination and sympathy and finally empathy. My father had been universally recognized and ? at one point ? nearly universally liked. It looked like Uncle Han?s speech had again elicited those feelings in a number people. Even knowing what I did about my father?s last days, I was by no means immune to the appealing image Uncle Han had painted with his rhetoric that was yet not overtly rhetoric. Yes, Aunt Leia had chosen well when she asked him to speak in her place.

    This is one of the reasons I love Leia. She?s so smart. :D


    ?If I may, I would like to read a poem given to me by a member of my family who is unable to be here today.?

    I waited for the muttering to subside. Anybody who was even marginally knowledgeable about current events was aware that all the Skywalker-Solos were present. Then I waited for Han and Leia to stop silently admonishing me for alluding to Allana, whose face had been deemed too well-known to risk appearing at such a heavily publicized event. She was sitting in front of the holoprojector with Threepio watching a live feed of the funeral.

    I drew the flimsipast from my pocket and unfolded it. I could easily have transferred the f
     
  5. Bri_Windstar

    Bri_Windstar Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 27, 2002
    LT! :D This is by far one of the best fics I have ever read, and I don't say that lightly. I find it rare in this day and age to see the amount of talent, thoughtfulness, and care that it obviously took to write this. I haven't read any of the books after Betrayal, but I didn't find my lack of knowledge lacking here, if that makes any sense. This entire story is seamless. I love Ben's devotion and anger towards his father. It's perfectly natural in this scenario you've given us. One can't help but feel greatly for him. How do you reconcile the knowledge that your father, your only remaining parent, is dying for a cause greater than you? But that's two-fold. He's doing it for Ben as much as if not more than for Cade (I'm making an assumption here :p ), the rest of his family (past, present, and future), and the Jedi and galaxy at large. But also and more importantly, the Light is greater than any one person or idealism. Luke may be the greatest embodiment of that Light, but he's still a servant to it.

    It's literally been years since I've seen you around the boards, so I'm very glad you've dropped back in! I think the last time I saw you around was probably a HM chat where everyone was yet again up to no good. :p :)
     
  6. Lady_Tahiri

    Lady_Tahiri Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 23, 2001
    SHADOW_MASTER_W

    Wow. Excellent imagery and dialogue.
    I?m glad you think so. I chose the format I did because I thought that it would facilitate vivid imagery.

    Good insertion of that passage as well. Very very impressive.
    Thank you so much! It?s among my favorite poems.


    SithGirl132

    What a wonderful and fitting use of that poem.
    Aw I appreciate that. It?s good to find another kindred soul who loves it as much as I do!

    A very emotionally charged and well-done piece. Amazing.
    Thanks. I don?t pull my punches when I go for a tear-jerker. ;)


    preggers

    That may be the most beautiful use of another work I've ever seen.
    Thank ye kindly, ma?am!

    I wish I was capable of praising you half as eloquently as you deserve, because you deserve eloquent praise for so eloquent a piece.
    Well, you?re one of the most eloquent writers I know, so consider it done. :p

    And if 'I Want Candy' comes on one more time I'm going to die of the light.
    [face_laugh] Oh no! Did you survive?

    Because honestly, this was just so beautifully plotted out and written and the depth of emotion and the bond between Ben and Tahiri was beautiful and made me want to weep. And her having the poem already written out and then him reading the poem at the funeral!!!!!!!!!
    I thought about letting her attend but decided that her absence would be more meaningful than her presence. Also I?ve been reading a lot of Joseph Campbell and he says the hero has to finish the journey without the mentor so what the heck, I ditched the mentor.

    Kriky... Kriffing beautiful.
    Thank you so much for that.


    dancing_star

    I usually don't read stories that have Luke die, but I lurked on this one wanting to see where you'd take it.
    I?m so glad you delurked. It?s really gratifying to learn that someone read and enjoyed my story.

    I was hoping there was a way to bring Luke back, but this ending- especially Han's speech- was absolutely beautiful.
    Thank you. Han really does have some untapped potential for oratory.


    Bea

    Oh kriff. That was...so incredibly sad.
    I know! It took me ages to write it cuz I had to wait till I was properly depressed lol.

    Haaaan! Dude, where are you? I want to give you a huge hug!
    I always wanted a big bear hug from Han. :)

    Han, you really know how to eulogize somebody.
    :D

    And I wouldn't be the Grammar Nazi (according to Preggers) without mentioning that something is up with this sentence. I think you might have been trying to say either "it wouldn't be complete without..." or "it would be incomplete without..." and ended up fusing the two together?
    Thank you for noticing that ? I?ve fixed it. <does a brisk Heil Hitler> 8-} In all seriousness though, thank you for catching that. If preggers hadn?t already snagged you I?d have fished you out of the beta pool myself. [face_mischief]

    Anyway, I'm going to keep my eye out for you in the future, LT.
    Thanks for thinking so highly of me. I hope the quality of my stuff continues to meet your Third Reich standards. :p


    divapilot

    Very eloquently done. It's like watching Ben grow up into a somber adult in front of your eyes.
    Yes, it is, makes you feel proud and bittersweet at the same time. Thank you for reading!


    kataja

    I started reviewing this fic with not knowing what to say, and while I've said a lot since and stand by it all, I again, here at the end, do find it very hard to review again! So forgive me if what I'll say becomes a bit uncoherent!
    Not at all! First of all, thank you for being my first reviewer, and for staying for the ride. And I don?t find you incoherent at all.

    In this chapter Han's speach left me breathless - it was a brilliant move to leave the
    word to him and he said it all! I cried when I read it, yet it warmed!

    That?s good to hear. :)

    I did not know the poem before but it fit beautifly. Was it perhaps even the source of this story?
     
  7. zonzo

    zonzo Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 3, 2007
    Wow =D= That's really all I can say. Han's speech was... just perfect.
     
  8. CelseteAntola

    CelseteAntola TF.N Books Staff star 3 VIP

    Registered:
    May 18, 2002
    Oh, gosh...

    I'm not sure how I missed this the first time, but I'm glad I found it now.

    This was absolutely AMAZING, LT. Poignant, moving, and down right heart-wrenching.

    You did a fantastic job capturing all the characters, and most especially Ben. He was just perfect. And Tahiri... *sigh*

    Han's eulogy at the end? :_| :_| :_|

    Beautiful job...

    ~Celeste
     
  9. Iverna

    Iverna Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 20, 2008
    I thoroughly enjoyed this. Okay, so not the part where Luke died... I don't like it when my beloved characters die.

    But! This is a great fic. Ben is so very mature and insightful, and I love how you've portrayed him here. Very true to his character, I think, and very interesting. I love reading his thoughts in this.

    Him going to see Tahiri was perfect. I really liked that scene - it showed both characters really well at this point in their lives, and it was really interesting. And the way you wove the political difficulties into it all, without taking away from the actual focus of the fic, that was masterful!

    Loved the funeral. How perfect. Han's eulogy was stirring, and fitting, and so very Han - really great job. And I liked what Ben had to say at the end, too. And the poem fit so well! Great choice.

    So yes, brilliant job with this! =D=

    (Here's hoping this will post now...)
     
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