JCC Embrace The FU - Formerly the STAR WARS IS BAD thread

You know what - I finally feel like I've made a worthwhile post.

 

Well they say even a broken clock is right twice a day..

 

Feelings can frequently lie to us...


Sorry

 

Bastards.

 

Just to reiterate; no.

 

I thought it was pretty good. I could picture it. One of those saga trailers with Road To Nowhere as the soundtrack.

 

Great, kid! Don't get cocky.

 

That sounds vaguely familiar...

 

Bastards.

 

I've never heard of it at all.

 

If all you want is to get a post with five easy likes, I can point you in the right direction

 

Well then you're in the right place...

 

Honestly, at this point, let's not have anything Star Wars related (maybe a video game or two) for at least 5 years. It's not going to happen, but I can dream.

 

That kind of reference doesn't belong here...

 

Isn't the fan-made crowd funded remake of Episode 8 coming this year? They promised to fix it.

 

I believe the Angry Man-Baby Fund is currently sitting at $6.25. The release date is likely to be pushed out.

 

As I've done for the past 5 years, I took my mom to dinner and see Star Wars as an (early) birthday this past Sunday 1/19/2020. She enjoyed it.
Personally, the first time I saw the movie was 12/19/2019, so I thought it was interesting that my first and second viewings were exactly one month apart. Below in the spoiler tag are my rumblings / thoughts between viewings, if you'd care to read / discuss / share your thoughts.

In summary - my main problem is "the mission"

What I liked:
Rey calling Leia - Master
Babu Frik
Young Luke and Leia flashback

Spoiler

On my second viewing, the thing that stood out the most was the repeated line about the mission failing.
(1) Leia says "This mission is everything. We cannot fail."
(2) Poe, then (3) Rey and then finally (4) C3P0 all say, "If this mission fails, it’s all been for nothing. All we’ve done, all this time."

It's repeated 4 times up until the "big" moment - C3P0's brain wipe and Sith translation - on Kijimi. We're constantly reminded that the mission is the most important thing - the plot is the most important thing.

Unfortunately, the mission isn't 100% clear at this point.

What we're told is that Palpatine is back and he has a giant fleet thanks to the mole in the First Order. So they trust the mole completely and believe it's not a trap ever? Yep. Got it. Sure.
So what's the plan? What's the mission? Rey needs to get to Exegol to face the Emperor and the only clue they have to finding and getting to Exegol is a mission that Luke started with Lando years ago but never finished. So they're essentially putting all their faith in winning the war and beating Palpatine by sending Rey/Poe/Finn/Chewie/BB8/C3P0 to Pasana to HOPEFULLY succeed where Luke and Lando failed. So far, this mission does NOT sound promising.

So how do they succeed in their mission? They don't. They constantly fail which is why the need to keep repeating the line above. We can't fail! Remember? It's in the script. We just can't.

Well, Kylo finds them on Pasana and he is on his way with his (useless) Knights. The FO patrol that happens to be on Pasana finds our heroes in the meantime while we wait for Kylo. Again, the heroes fail a speeder chase, but this time they fail upward by finding the exact spot where they need to sink into the ground to find the item they need to move the plot forward - the dagger.

Then the mission takes another set back when they think they lose Chewie when Rey accidentally kills him. So at this point, what is the "all we've done"?
They found a dagger which they don't need now (or they don't think they do, but they will) because they have C3P0's memory. So as it pertains to the mission, they only thing they've acquired is information that they can't access. It's like a bad Mission Impossible movie. We've acquired the laptop. Anyone know how to crack the password? So in the grand scheme of the movie, they haven't really done anything yet. They have a beer with no bottle opener.

So let's take a pause. Maybe the "All we've done, all this time" is meant to reference the past movies. So what have they done? They destroyed Starkiller Base which resulted in the thinning out of the Resistance to the point of extinction with no one coming to help. The FO still reigns AND on top of it all, Palpatine is back with another giant fleet. So what did they do since The Rise of Skywalker mission? They dropped a cup of coffee in the ocean.

Then the final insult to add to the injury, and we haven't even got to the final act yet, is that this SUPER IMPORTANT MISSION that CAN NOT FAIL - Rey decides, ya know what? - I quit. She burns Kylo's ship she stole from Kef Bir (good thing Kylo had two ships, one that was destroyed on Pasana and the one he had on Kef Bir) and decides that she's just going to stay on Ahch-To. She doesn't want to end up on the throne as a Sith and that's okay because Palpatine and the FO are just going to destroy whatever planets they want and that's that. Maybe she doesn't know what happened to Kijimi, but if she's super strong in the Force, she probably should have felt it, like when Obi-wan felt Alderaan.

The final kicker is that I haven't even touched on Palpatine's contradictory plan and how it makes very little sense and very little is explained. I digress.

 

I'm so glad to know you didn't think there were any plot holes or implausibilities!

 

Some good Star Wars content is coming Feb 21st. I'm guessing 1 episode will be released per week. 12 episodes will take us to May 8th and by that time Disney+ will have premiered in the UK and they will hopefully on the same release schedule as the US.

 

More Clone Wars?

 

We still won't have it here in the Czech Republic. We have to make do with crude facsimiles of The Mandalorian made from fried cheese and tartar sauce. Delicious, yes, but lacking in Baby Yoda as no one could decide if that meant you had to use like an edam or something and we already went and bought camembert for this, Bill, we're not going to the grocer again.

 

In all honesty, I think you have the better deal.