Senate Mental Health Support Thread

Well, I've finally crashed at the office. The lovely part is I have the rest of this week to try and squeeze a little more energy out of myself that I don't have and get files paid by courts - in the middle of school holiday vacancies. Starting Monday, courts close again, and all payments are suspended. Taxes are still owed - for the whole year.

 

Welp, at 1pm today I have a virtual visit with my psychiatrist. She pretty much only sees me once a year. She's not great, let's say that. But I am too tired and anxious to try the process of setting up with someone new. So instead I will try to push her a little this time. I need to ask about some of my medications, as well as my complete inability to sleep through the night. Fun times.

 

I'm seriously considering doubling up on exercise from now until after the election has been called. If nothing else I hope it will help improve sleeping patterns. I've noticed a lot of folks I know getting increasingly anxious and in some cases also having more dreadful thoughts about what the future months may/will bring. Not to mention the increased possibility much of the country may have to be largely shut down and/or quarantined during the fall/winter just to try to keep people as safe as possible, and also bracing for the possibility of travel restrictions that might make it difficult, if not impossible, for families to get together over the holiday season.
Breathe deeply.
Calm down and relax. This, too, shall pass.

Oh and on another positive development I've not had any problems closing my rings in the last few months, which was a bit of a problem during the early months of the lockdown sometimes.

 

Big ****ing day... I submitted my applications for an apartment and two grants this morning. I could be housed as soon as the first, if all goes as planned.

 

Hope that goes well..

 

Here's hoping all does go to plan!

 

I don't post in this thread, but I just want everyone to know that reading everyone's posts has been something of a balm for me. I've grappled with depression myself for well over a decade--to the point of having suicide ideations daily--and am thankful that you've all had the courage to air your struggles. So, thanks.

 

I know Im not a huge regular, but please feel free to any time. You’ll find at least one empathetic ear

I’ve been through that kind of thing in the past so I know how hard it gets .

hope you can find support here or anywhere else possible.

 

This wound up being a 4 minute call, wherein she renewed my meds for a year and added back in trazodone for sleep.

 

The world is a better place with you in it, don't ever forget that

 

That seems oddly fast Rae? But I've no way to really tell.

 

It is. She isn't a good psychiatrist. I had a good one in CA who actually gave a damn, but when I got here I mostly just needed someone who could prescribe me my meds with no transition time.

I really ought to shop around for a new psychiatrist, but I am just too emotionally exhausted at the thought of it. Such a stressful process.

 

When I'm at the peak of depression, I'll drive to any blood donation center within 20 miles just to convince myself of that. It may have kept me alive a few times. (Like I have some sort of debt to the world that I can't forbear from paying.)

Like many here, though, despite all the medications and therapy and social bonds, I dread how much gasoline is left in my tank. Life shouldn't be a perpetual goddamn endurance test, but it is for some of us.

 

@grd4 please make sure to stop by whenever you feel a low tank or whatever or even if you just want to talk to somebody.
The thread rules say we shouldn't offer unsolicited advice so I don't want to say anything more than that for now but I hope that just knowing there's someone here to listen to you when you're feeling down will make a little bit of a difference. Sending a big virtual hug!!

 

Found the drive to drag myself to the office essentially because it's one of the last two days I'll be allowed out without a permit before lockdown...

 

That sounds a bit like what I experience when I'm having executive functioning problems. Which, in all fairness, seems to happen to a lot of people I know as a result of lockdowns.

 

That's basically it yes. And while I don't need a psychiatrist to be a therapist, my one in CA would talk to me extensively on how I was doing.

 

Mine is great like that, She's very supportive and communicates with my therapist.

I'd research a new one. You need a professional support, not a pill dispenser.

 

Seconded... I hate it when the primary beneficiary of a psychiatrist's work is the healthcare industry...

 

How has Covid affected those of you with depression? I know the pandemic has made mine worse a lot. Where I live treatment is now practically nonexistent. The clinic where I had planned to get magnetic or ECT treatment wrote me they closed down, and nobody knows when they reopen. So now I'm left with no hope for treatment, and I have to deal with my disease myself. Does anyone have the same problems?

 

I've been pretty lucky and supported. I talk to my therapist weekly, and I just started his weekly DBT group. I talk to my psychiatrist monthly and she communicates with my therapist and case.manager regularly. I ask a lot of questions and make a lot of proposals and suggestions though. I'm very involved in making my treatment plans. You have to be, or you essentially get lost in the shuffle.

I'm kind of a special case though, being I live on their property, lol.

 

And here we go, I was just laid off. Waiting for the exact date.

Not surprised.

 

I'm so sorry to hear that

 

That sucks @Master_Lok