Senate Mental Health Support Thread

I am very much looking forward to surgery. I know it will be painful for a bit, but soon there will be days without pain. This pain is driving me nuts! Can't wait to finally be healing.

 

Soon™

 

My new boyfriend has been acting cold and distant for days and it's really eating away at my sanity. So I've called him over this evening for a quick in-person chat.

I love him, but this kind of behaviour is reminiscent of the toxic behaviour that my ex exhibited. And I'm not able to handle it.

Hopefully the chat tonight ends with us getting closer instead of a breakup. But I'll be ready for the latter. I can't do this with a man again.

Sent from my SM-G950W using Tapatalk

 

Hope everything works out for you, Vialco.

Oof, I'm having a heck of a week for mental health. After two days off work last week I thought I'd gotten to a better place, but Monday and yesterday were hard. My coworkers are leaving like rats jumping off a sinking ship. Morale is really low, and it's really hard for me to deal with changes. Almost no one who worked there when I started is still there. It would almost be easier to call it quits and look for something easier.

On top of that, my parents are going to be moving house this spring. It's the house I grew up in, I knew every inch of that town. It's a good move for them, but I'm trying not to see it as they're getting older and this might be the last time they're near me.

So no surprise, I couldn't sleep last night and I had a mild panic attack. It didn't seem mild in the moment, I was terrified, but it got better. Now I'm just hungry (but stomach doesn't want food), tired, shaky, and really dreading work. I can't call in sick, but I can take it real easy and I know I'll be fine. Thanks for listening, y'all. Hope your brains aren't beating you up as badly as mine is.

 

I'm sorry to hear things are rough, guys. If this is a behavior you can't tolerate, Vialco, it's better to nip it in the bud. It's really passive aggressive of him to ghost you and then not say why.

That sounds like a ton of stress, Sauntaero. Everybody knows "you can't go home again," but the selling of a childhood home makes everything real and final. I really hope your parents choose a new home near enough for you to visit often! I hope things turn around at your job, too--or that you at least can find a better one.

 

I just discovered this site and am now double-posting all across the internet: http://www.mantherapy.org. It's a mental health public outreach program that targets adult men, who are disproportionately likely to complete suicide. It's more chuckle-funny than roll-on-the-floor funny, but still worth checking out for its combination of entertainment value and real useful information.

I took "Dr. Rich Mahogany's 20-point Head Inspection" and was told I had a mental six-pack. Thanks, therapy, because as Dr. Mahogany says, "You don't get this, [reverentially gesturing toward dad bod] without putting in the work."

 

Good luck with your work situation @Sauntaero Stressful job situations suck. I changed jobs 3 times in 4 years to find one I liked sort of recently. It was stressful, but now to be going in to work and not dreading it or the people totally worth it! And good luck with your parents move. We moved around when I was a kid and I know if I'm ever near one of my old houses I drive by for nostalgia sake. My parents live about 90 miles away. You'd think we'd see each other more, but with kids getting away for a weekend is hard due to activities.

I have had up and down moments all week. I am so happy I got this surgery. Today is the first day I woke up not in serious pain. It's only 3 days after surgery so, good. I can also see that the swelling in my leg and foot is almost completely gone. I have to wear this big chunky brace and I can't drive or put weight on my leg for 4 weeks. Luckily after about two weeks of back and forth with my doctor's office and HR I got all the paperwork completed so I can begin to work from home on Wednesday. Monday is a holiday and Tuesday I have to go to a training class for my autistic son's tablet device.

The biggest battle has been insurance. I have paid over my out of pocket maximum but they haven't posted anything and when I go to an appointment the doctor/physical therapist/whatever wants payment. So I keep paying and I do know eventually I'll start getting refund checks cause something similar happened last year. But it's a lot of $ cause of the surgery and MRI and yeesh my bank account is going to look sad until those checks start coming. All I can do is keep calling insurance every few days and tell them to hurry up. Also they only allow me 20 physical therapy appointments total. Ideally about 40 for this kind of injury would be good. So now I should be going at least twice a week so they can take off my brace and massage my leg, get the blood moving. But I can't go, because more importantly I gotta learn to walk again on this leg and get back into activity properly. I'm not even sure 20 appointments will be enough for that, like I said above somewhere. But there's simply nothing I can do. Proper care is not important.

I haven't gone stir crazy in my house yet, which is good. We shall see if I make it through the weekend. That would be another nice thing about having physical therapy at least I could get out of my house. UGH.

 

Well-written questionnaire, @poor yorick - but it's skewed, rahrargh!!! (no, I'm not at Gandhi-levels of nonviolence, I just happen to stay absolutely calm while I eff someone up).

@Runjedirun Not all good news, but reading about the pain going away is great news.

 

I'm glad you're finally getting some relief, Runjedirun! Here's hoping things get even better from here!

 

@Runjedirun - could you use something like a knee walker to help you get around? At least you could get out of the house without resorting to crutches. (Note - I know nothing about that particular site - just selected it for the example).

 

I have my knee at a 40 degee angle. The knee walker is a 90 degree angle. I can get around on crutches pretty good, though. Mainly the problem is I live in Suburbia USA, no close bus stop or public transport. So unless my husband wants to take the whole family out, I'm in.

 

Uber?

Friends, for some reason I'm not having a good day. It makes no sense because I'm working from home, I really am ahead of my work goals for the day, and my mom was just here to play with my puppy with me over lunch. I have no idea why I'm feeling ****y today, I just am. Depression is stupid.

 

Yea, depression can be stupid like that.

 

Thanks for the hug.

One of my bosses just told me my first wholly original script I wrote for a video at work was great and as close to perfect on a first draft as she's ever seen.... that makes me feel slightly better.

 

You're welcome

And that's very good news!

 

Feeling kind of crappy today. I guess I didn't expect to still be this sore and tired 12 days after surgery. I'd only had laparoscopic surgeries before this, and both times I was back on my feet quickly. Also, last week I was still on the heavy duty pain meds, which leave you kind of loopy so the time just flies. Now I'm on nothing but Tylenol, so I'm in some pain and very, very bored.

I feel like I shouldn't complain, because this was a surgery I desperately wanted, but meh. I'm complaining.

 

You have every right to complain. That's what this thread is for . I'm sorry to hear that you're in pain. Sometimes it can feel that the agony will never go away. But remember that the human body is very resilient. You are healing, one day at a time. One I thing I did when I was feeling ill for a whole week back in January was buy a bunch old Smallville episodes online and watched them. Because I liked that show back in the day. Try to find something that you enjoy doing that doesn't require any physical effort. This too shall pass.

 

Hope you have a better day tomorrow @solojones . Sorry the surgery is still giving you pain @poor yorick .

I did pretty good today for having IT troubles with my work laptop, having my whole family here all day due to snow and just general recovery pain.

What I wish though is someone would come gently massage my leg. My dad used to be an awesome masseuse. He'd massage my feet and shoulders, then I would do his. My physical therapist the one time I got to see her since surgery she told me to have a family member loosen my brace and just get the blood flowing. Yeah, my family, right. They look at me like I am nuts.

I see my doctor Monday. I can't wait. I hope I am healing okay. Still in lots of pain, but the nurse on the phone said it's normal and refilled my meds.

 

I've felt really down the last few days. No real reason to be depressed more than any other day, just seem to have hit a low point. I've successfully avoided going to alcohol, but I've binged on sugary treats something fierce.

I sometimes listen to one of those wave tracks on youtube when I'm feeling anxious or depressed, it's not magical but it is kind of calming.

 

Hope you feel better @soitscometothis You are on the right track finding things to distract yourself from your depression. Even if it is candy, they don't call it a "sugar rush" for nothing.

 

Depression doesn't always have a reason, it just is. Brain chemistry, subconscious memories, you name it. I don't know where you are on our little blue marble - but if you can manage to get some fresh air that will at least help you burn off all that glucose ;-)

 

Sorry to hear that you're feeling low, @soitcomestothis. I've been feeling the same way lately. I totally get the temptation to turn to alcohol. I struggle with that myself. I really don't need booze though--it's expensive and bad for my physical and mental health. I often use a technique called urge surfing, where you just kind of sit with the desire to drink and remember that it's going to pass. That's one of the strategies they use in SMART Recovery, which is kind of an AA alternative.

 

My genuine thoughts with you,good to avoid booze as it's not going to make things any better (if anything more likely worse).

Sounds of waves indeed can be soothing.

This is true that it's a chemical inbalance for those who are not suffering depression from some kind of severe life event and also yes outdoors and activity can be so helpful.

 

Add me to the list of feeling just bleh. Maybe it's the winter doldrums, being stuck inside without sun too much. I did venture out to church this morning and that was nice, now I just have to stay busy the rest of the day and come up with something appetizing for supper.

 

So I apologise for the double post, but does anyone have experience with frightening, intrusive thoughts? Like, what if my spouse/parent died? What if I die? These are a new symptom I'm dealing with, and I'm trying to normalise them a bit. There's a chance they're a side effect of a new med (fluoxetine) but it's hard to cope with them sometimes. Any suggestions?