Saga - OT Mercy Flight (OCs) --COMPLETE

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Mistress_Renata, Sep 8, 2017.

  1. Findswoman

    Findswoman Force Ghost star 5

    Feb 27, 2014
    A wonderfully satisfying ending. It's great to see Ambri fully recovered and being welcomed so cordially by new squadmates who are not only the finest of the fine but so friendly. "Frosty" is the perfect callsign for a pilot who has braved wintry ordeals on multiple planets. There's some bittersweetness in the way Ambri "woulda, coulda, shouldas" right up to the very end of the story, still laying a certain amount of blame on herself for what happened to Dzin and for the trials she went through on her mission. I love that her new squadmates, and especially Corven, all join together to encourage her and remind her that it's just a matter of learning from the situation and carrying on. (Indeed, as Corven points out, she does have areas in which she can improve, e.g., using a blaster—and I can imagine the other Signets might have found that footage of her at least a little amusing! :p ) In a way, though, Ambri's tendency toward self blame highlights some strengths of hers too: it is born of the fact that she has high standards for herself, that she doesn't just rest on her laurels and let her success go to her head. In the end, of course, it's all a matter of finding balance, of course—and the Signets (Cygnets?) look like a good place for our heroine to work on finding that balance. (And I am guessing this won't be the last story featuring her and them... riiiiight? :D )

    Bravissima and congratulations on bringing this wonderful tale to such a satisfying conclusion, and as always keep up the fine work! =D=
  2. It Is Your Destiny

    It Is Your Destiny Jedi Master star 4

    Jan 1, 2014
    @Mistress_Renata - Howdy. [face_cowboy] I just read your first six posts. The early stages of this story are fantastic! I'm in total agreement with the others about your opening space battle. The splendid descriptions pulled me right into the action.

    I've been checking out a lot of stories with OCs as I attempt to write one of my own. I wasn't expecting to get hooked after the initial passage, but that's exactly what happened. You handle your original characters with great precision. I can't wait to finish reading this one.
  3. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Jedi Master star 4

    Nov 27, 2013
    A great ending to a great story! So many cool things here: from getting a glimpse into the interior of the Swan, Ambri keeping a backup of her droid’s memory, to her new squadmates teasing her with the whole “Frosty Merrin” thing , but she hates snow! It’s always out to get her one way or another, isn’t it?

    I agree about the comment with handling your OCs so well—Ambri is an interesting and well-developed character that captivates the reader and that's the hardest thing to achieve in a story. Everything from her humble nature and ambition, to her guilty past, and yet so willing to help others. I hope you continue with some stories about her in the future (as well with the Swan, it’s such a pretty ship!). Oh, and bonus points for the Cathar---cat pilot! :D
  4. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One star 6

    Aug 21, 2006
    A perfect ending to your story. She has a nice squadron
  5. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Jul 11, 2014
    Hehehe. Frosty. Brrrrr!

    I'll echo what everybody said: great ending to a great story! There's the fact that Ambri is getting some well-deserved thanks and congrats, that the frost bite damage is fixed and that she's even getting a party on a ship that sounds like the height of class and cool, but there's also the fact that things are looking up for her. She had to go through this whole adventure, and, to call a spade a spade, this whole ordeal alone. Now she's surrounded by good people who admire and respect her for what she achieved and who are intent on telling her that “woulda, coulda, shoulda” is not a way to live your life. Hopefully their high spirits will rub off on her... eventually!

    I second what others said above about how you developed Ambri's character. She's definitely a well-rounded OC and an interesting one too – competent but not exceedingly talented, reserved to the point of awkwardness when the situation gets overly formal, but still able to collaborate with others and fit in a team (or a flight, or a squadron), managing to do her best with what she has even when she doesn't have much, and most importantly dedicated to the point of stubbornness. I'd love to see her again in future stories, but I'll settle for the Swan of Selonia in the meantime :D

    Thanks for posting this. It was a great, moving, exciting ride!
    Mistress_Renata and Findswoman like this.
  6. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 9, 2000
    After everything I put her through, giving her a happy ending was the least I could do.
    She certainly thinks so!
    I've got so much fanon in my head about the Swan, I'll have to write something else as soon as a plot presents itself! And every fanfic needs cats, don't you think? ;)
    She doesn't have a very high self-esteem or much self-confidence, given a rather rough past, but I think she's evolving.
    I wondered which of my clever readers would pick up on that! How am I not surprised it's you?! [face_love]
    OC stories don't always get much traffic, but I think if you marry an interesting, not perfect character with a strong and exciting plot, people will be interested. It does take time to grow a readership, so don't get discouraged.
    She does! But that's 'cause Wes Studi is in charge. :D
    All I need is a plot... there is so much to tell about a ship that joined the Rebellion after a few centuries as a museum!

    Thank you all for reading; I'm glad you all enjoyed it. I've got no definite bunnies, at the moment, but I definitely want to bring back the Swan. So, send bunny chow.
  7. Mira_Jade

    Mira_Jade The Fanfic Manager With The Cape star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Jun 29, 2004
    I know that I am going to be one of many voices saying how wonderful this story is, but I couldn't finish reading a gem like this without adding a comment of my own! [face_love]

    First off, I have to applaud your OC! Ambri is so well rounded and wonderfully fleshed out through your prose and the events in your plot. Her struggles, both against inward and outward elements, were wonderfully balanced and made for a rivetting read. I particularly enjoyed how her guilt and self-blame inspired her to do more - and that was mirrored on a much larger level by how her aiding this neutral planet inspired them, in turn, to move from a place of passive complacency to outrightly aiding the Rebellion - because, in the end, that's the right thing to do. It was a wonderful way to frame your narrative!

    There were so many elements to this story that I enjoyed. To name a few:

    Your battle scenes! I love reading a good action sequence, but they can oftentimes be hard to follow in a written format, even in the hands of pro writers. Your space battles were engaging and so easy to picture in my mind. I particular enjoyed the stress put on practical design - including the limitations of the various crafts. Having her work as a former test pilot added a layer of believability to the technical jargon. It all felt very organic, for still so clearly being science fiction!

    I appreciate the medical advice you got to add to the story, too - I hardly know enough to tell which parts are fictional and which parts are based in reality, but that the entire scenario felt plausible in of itself - and sounds like just something the Empire would do o_O . It made for another great layer to the story.

    Your descriptions made for a rich read as well! I could feel Ambri struggling through the snow, and could perfectly see both the planet itself and the ravaging effects of the plague. Ambri's guilt over the socks - of all things, was probably my favorite part of the story. It gave her character such a depth, and really hammered home her reasons for rebelling. This whole thing had a delicate touch to comment on the nature of the battle between good and evil - and the more real, all too common sin of failing to fight the fights that need fighting that plagues our own world. It's easiest to do nothing, most of all. It's hard to stand up like Ambri does, and my, how she shines when she does so!

    The rescue by the Swan at the end seriously had me whooping out loud - what a beautiful ship, and a great piece of Corellian headcanon!! Her callsign of Frosty and a new place to belong at the end of this put such a smile on my face. What a satisfying, perfect way to wrap up the tale.

    This was a wholly engaging read, and I enjoyed every word of it! Thanks so much for sharing! =D=