Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Raptor517, Sep 12, 2006.
Wow! That was really intense!
I like the personification of the Force.
Ooh...I have three words:
Very strong piece. Loved the emotion the padawan felt. 14A20E had a great perspective and voice also.
I wonder if we're going to see more of our young apprentice?
I don't know. I kinda hate to kill him off...Hm. Maybe I can figure something out. Tune in next week, and I should have soemthing! And please, everybody, I welcome reviews: good, bad, and ugly. Lurkers, leave notes! And maybe this is low, but this newb likes ups! (Hint hint)
Its refreshing to see that the Jedi lived. Usually in these things, the writer likes to make the Jedi die. Finally everything in its proper place. Clone- dead. Jedi- alive.
If you do more please PM me!
Oh boy. You all have some surprises coming. Well, at least one. And I might as well put the disclaimer in now: I don't own this story--it's based off that which George Lukas created, and shall probably stay that way.
Also, I welcome all comments! As a noob, I know there's lots of advice to be learned. Thanks!
niiiiice, very nice. mine wasnt that good, but i dont have a beta person.
my story goes somwhere else, but telling you would ruin it, right?
Very nice I had to come back and read this a second time...
OMG!!!!!!! That was SO COOL! PLease Pm me when you post agin!!!!!!!
That was very nicely done and like others have said it's a powerful piece.
I'd like a PM if this fic is to continue.
I've gotta echo what others said - that was very powerful, and the idea that the force started to talk to him as a person was a very very nice twist.
If you add more to this please pm me, you've done a great job.
Sorry, very busy with school, work, etc. Will post and PM next chapter soon--Monday at the latest.
Alrighty! Many test later, and more to come--but I promise the second chapter will be up on Monday! Up, please?
PM me 2 please! Awesome story! I m a newbie myself, but i think that this far and away exceeds my writing skills. awesome job!
Add me to the PM list when chapter 2 comes up!
Only thing I'd suggest editing in this opening chapter is the part about the black lightsaber. As a proud member of Rebel Legion with a Jedi costume, it drives me bonkers when people start making black lightsabers and black jedi robes, cause while the idea of Qui-Johnny Cash sounds cool...there's nothing to base that on. Maybe a wardrobe and prop change for him and I think you're in great shape.
Loved the clonetrooper reciting things that his drill instructors would have said on the march to the jedi Temple! And I like how not only is he reminding himself of his training, but also recounting his experience and even respect for the jedi in the temple as well as Anaki...yeah, that was a nice touch as well.
And THANK YOU for writing something about a jedi who doesn't just roll over and be executed by the 501st clonetroopers. After having to endure so much jedi-player hatin' from my friends in armor, it's nice to know you don't have to be GL's son to NOT be caught with your robes down!
Thanks for the PM
GREAT update Raptor, really enjoyed it.
I really liked Jef's character, you've got a good thing going! And the thing wiht 14A20E's changes since his new componants (for lack of a better word) was well done.
Great job on this.
I've only skimmed; however, I must say that I am pleasantly surprised to find this story to be considerable notches above the norm for clone trooper fanfiction.
That's a compliment. Keep up the good work; maybe I'll stop in and read up every once in a while.
Thanks for the reviews. Sorry for the mistakes with the PMs, new thread, etc. Hopefully there will be no more mistakes. Well, the 3rd chapter will come along some time soon. When...I dunno.
Oh wow. That was so amazing. I didn't even see the twist coming at the end...that was so awesome. PLease, keep writing! At I LOVED the joke about the Twilek being stunning, and the securiyt guard ageeing. PLease, please write more. This is definitly worht another up.
Thanks for the PM!
I like the changes in 14A20E. I can't wait to see what else he figures out about the "null" troopers.
Jef and his friend really lucked out, and good for them. Though that could come crashing down shortly.
I like where this story is going. Keep it up.