Mistress Wendy's Libations

(inspector) does this pubs serve real ales? if not ill have to be forced to close u down! if u do ill have a Spitfire plz

 

Wendy - You say there's a heat wave in the US, in that case I've just run over a water buffalo outside, can I borrow the towel you're wearing please ????

Oh on second thoughts best be buying a drink first.

 

Well, you are my dearest Wendy, but that's probably because you're the only Wendy I know

\\pours frozen drink

 

Yeah whilst you guys have a heat wave we are freezing our asses off! or maybe its just me!

 

Yeah Tay-Mar I have a 2 drink minimum before I give up my towel.


Oh Phil, what can I say, you certainly know how to sweet talk a girl.


Hey Jango, I'll gladly trade spaces with you. I prefer the cold over this unbearable heat.



*Takes sip of frozen drink*

Now this hits the spot.

 

Please feel free to trade palces.......My fingers are going numb!

 

How cold is it over there? I thought it was summer time there as well!?!

 

sheesh, just got in from work, thought i would stop off for a swift one before facing the dragon. speaking of my mrs., why don`t we call this place THE NAG`S HEAD?

pint of vodka when you`re ready barman.

 

It was raining all day yesterday. I had to change my clothes twice. I walked home from the cinema yesterday, and I was soaked all the way through. Where I live, it was 18c today (about 65f)

This is the weather report for the next few days, here.

Not very pleasent, huh?

Yeah Tay-Mar I have a 2 drink minimum before I give up my towel.

So...removal of a towel at two drinks, huh? What do I get if I supply drinks all night long?

sheesh, just got in from work, thought i would stop off for a swift one before facing the dragon. speaking of my mrs., why don`t we call this place THE NAG`S HEAD?

You should listen to a CD of a radio show I used to listen to when I was living in Australia. There is one sketch where they do a spoof of The Bill and gave all the pubs names like "The Crouched Arse", or "The Plastered Bastard", or "The **** and Scrotum" - with the last one, I'm surprised they got away with that on a 4-6pm radio show.

EDIT: I see the filtering program is working again!

 

Oh come on now, your wife can't be all that bad.

*Slides over some vodak*

I have no idea where Phil went so I'll serve you folks for now.

 

Ooooh, we got ourselves a female bartender...Can anyone say Coyote Ugly?

Make it a pint, darlin'!

 

Oh I can't answer that question here on TFN, I would get banned....


And here's your pint sweetie....

 

at this moment in time i have no comment to make

i beleive now is the time for a brandy, if you would be so kind....

 

Typical Aussie ! You're ot allowed to call Women Darlin' anymore Mark, it's disrespectful and sexest.

I belive the correct term is - Atractive member of the female gender, unless you find that offensive.

 

I was married once myself, so should I make it a double brandy?


*Slides brandy sniffer down to Lord-Wiz*

 

* quaffs double brandy *

this isn`t the place for me to moan about anything.

its a place for booze glorious booze!

and films!!

* puts dvd of ROTS on *




* doesnt fit so puts it in the dvd player instead *

a drink if you wouldn`t mind, my good lady.




bit quiet in here tonight don`t you think?

 

So did you want another brandy or do you want to knock up up a notch!?!

 

lets let our hair down and knock it up a notch.


a triple absinthe please. and light it for me, i appear to have misplaced my lighter

 

quiet? ive just walked in and its nice to see the usual and local people in here!

dam I still dont understand girls.....so bloody confusing to me! and manage to upset you too!what do I do to try and get this girl who im close to already find me irristable? you older generation should know by now!

 

I DEMAND SOME BOOZE!!!


*leaps over bar and quenches thirst with bottle of courvoisier*


has ROTS finished yet? i have a copy of "crossroads" we could all enjoy.

 

i like the beginning of that film.....for obvious reasons...i mean whats hooter than britney spears seducing a guy when she was in her prime?!

 

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm britney.............



*smacks self round the face* sorry, sorry, must be the booze............

 

Or our male testosterone kicking into gear....I say put that dvd on bro! just for the beginning!

 

*Bursts through front door*

STELLA!!!!!

*Depresses trigger on M-16, hosing down the bar*

AaaaaaaaahhhhhhHH!!!!!!!

*Runs out back door*

 

Oooooooooooooooo........k

think someone is on .....THE MARCH.......OF WAAARRRRRR!!!

(eat snacky smores!)