Lit Moments of funny, Hmmm?

just heard the audio of Dark Rendezvous

And the bit where Yoda said to Scout

"Secret, shall I tell you? Grand Master of Jedi Order am I. Won this job in a raffle I did, think you? 'How did you know, how did you know, Master Yoda?' Master Yoda knows these things. His job it is."

Left me in stitches, a great funny moment. So I wondered what other moments in the books are Laugh out loud funny?

 

Aaron Allston books in general tend to have a few.

TV Tropes lists Funny moments (beginning with the movies but continuing to the EU):

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Funny/StarWars

however the X-wing series get a page to themselves:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Funny/XWingSeries

 

My gut instinct is to go straight to Allston for this, but I'll go for 2 of my favorite DR quotes since we're on the subject:

Dooku: "Master Yoda may be small and old and shriveled up like an evil green potato, but he is my guest, and I would prefer you not hit him ‎with a broom unless I particularly desire it.‎"

Asajj (citing Dooku): "There are at least two things one appreciates more the older one becomes: excellent wine, and confusion to the enemy."

 

The KotOR comics are fun too.

"I am not an accomplice! I am a MASTERMIND!"

 

Starfighters of Adumar is the king of funny moments, like the quote in my sig or this:

Wedge: Never mind that. Let's just shoot Wes.
Hobbie: I'm for that.
Tycho: What's our plan?
Hobbie: I thought we'd all just draw and fire. But I could count down to zero, and THEN we draw and fire.

 

NJO has a few.

R2-D2: [upon being asked for his name] That's none of your business. In any case, your facial feature set suggests that you do not have the intelligence to retain my name for more than a nanosecond. It is evident that you have been taught to repeat sounds that you have heard and that you understand neither the words you hear nor the ones that emerge from your mouth.

 

You do realize that linking to TvTropes gives you Dark Side Points, right? There go several hours of my life again.

 

FoTJ has its moments (again, mostly Allston):

"We still have plenty of cans of droch spray."
"Yeah, but do we have any bottles of brain bleach?"

 

From Betrayal:

Wedge: Both our wives are ex-intelligence. Whatever we've learned, we learned through osmosis.
Tycho: Normally, we just shoot things.
Wedge: We keep trying to retire. Give up this life of shooting things.
Tycho: We're really men of peace at heart.

 

If I were you, I'd ask her to ride my rancor.

 

He's got his own planet,
Although it's kind of wild.
Wookiees love him.
Women love him.
He's got a winning smile!
Though he may seem cool and cocky,
He's more sensitive than he seems,
Han Solo,
What a man! Solo!
He's every Princess's dream!

"I, uh, don't remember the exact words, but I personally took credit for blowing up his ship and said something like, 'Kiss my Wookiee!'"

COPL, mediocre book that it was, is much funnier than it's given credit for.

 

“I remind you that you are suggesting we follow the example of someone who has recently been eaten alive.” -- Captain Thrawn, Galaxy of Fear #8: The Swarm

 

I like the moment between Han and Bria in Rebel Dawn when they enter their hotel quarters and decide who gets the bed. Han pulls out a coin and says,"Heads we share the bed. Tails we share the floor." Oh Han, you old smoothie.

 

Denning's novels are funny, for other reasons.

 

“When I smack someone into a bulkhead and toss him on the deck, that’s me saying he should get his carcass off my ship. The other things, the head butt and the stomach punch, that was just because I don’t like you.” — Booster Terrik, Isard’s Revenge

 

"How long has it been since you've been on a date Wedge? I don't think some of the Wraiths were born then." -Janson, Solo Command.

"Ackbar followed memory and the floor glow strips to Han and Leia's bedroom. Out of consideration for the children, the door was closed but not secured.
He hoped his friends were not busy mating."- Before the Storm. Don't give Ackbar the keys to your house.

"Lando submitted, in a colorful fashion, that Han's ancestry was in question and that his personal habits left much to be desired."
- Shadows of the Empire.

 

Mohs: "Why me, Lord? Why in my time?"
Lando: "Congratulations, Mohs, you've just joined the ranks of some great historical figures. That's what they wanted to know, and usually in about the same miserable, desperate tone of voice."
― Lando Calrissian and the Mindharp of Sharu

 

"In this universe, absurdity tends to a maximum. Especially when I'm around." - Lando, Ambush At Corellia

 

You know what was hilarious in that book? Hall. I'm pretty sure it was Hall. The consciousness of a hall. Anyway some kind of talking room. The Lando books were funny as hell.

 

"That's not what the Empire would have done, Commander. What the Empire would have done was build a super-colossal Yuuzhan Vong-killing battle machine. They would have called it the Nova Colossus or the Galaxy Destructor or the Nostril of Palpatine or something equally grandiose. They would have spent billions of credits, employed thousands of contractors and subcontractors, and equipped it with the latest in death-dealing technology. And you know what would have happened? It wouldn't have worked. They'd forget to bolt down a metal plate over an access hatch leading to the main reactors, or some other mistake, and a hotshot enemy pilot would drop a bomb down there and blow the whole thing up. Now that's what the Empire would have done." - Han Solo, Destiny's Way

 

"Hey Lando. You did it, right? You kept your word."

"What?"

"Not a scratch. You said you'd bring back the Falcon without a scratch on it."

"Well, nothing that's left on her is scratched. All the scratched parts got knocked off along the way."