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Discussion My idea for The Phantom Menace.

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction and Writing Resource' started by Albert T, Feb 3, 2018.


Is this a good version of Episode 1?

  1. Yes

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  2. No

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  1. Albert T

    Albert T Jedi Youngling

    Jan 14, 2018
    This is my idea for what I think George Lucas should have made for Star Wars – Episode I: The Phantom Menace.

    The Clone Wars has already begun when we start on Naboo and the Clone Troopers are in the midst of their siege of the planet at the behest of Darth Tyranus (Count Dooku). The Clone Wars are contested between the Republic and the Separatists, who have control of the Clone army is this trilogy, instead of the Republic. Queen Amidala calls for help to the Republic Senate, who send the Jedi Knights, Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi, with a Republic fleet sent to battle the Clone soldiers attacking Naboo. The Jedi rescue Queen Amidala and her entourage of servants and security, making an escape into space while the Republic army is locked in grueling combat with the Clone Troopers.

    The Queen’s shuttle is pursued by a Clone battalion that chases them into the depths of the Outer Rim, where the heroes are able to evade their enemy by hiding on Tattooine. The Queen’s shuttle crashes on the surface of Tattooine and the survivors, including Queen Amidala and her decoy Kala Myn, R2D2 (a service droid on the shuttle as before), C3PO (Queen Amidala’s personal droid) and the Jedi, Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi, are attacked and chased by a clan of Tuskan Raiders. The Tuskan Raiders are defeated by the heroes and are eventually rescued by a convoy, who are revealed to be acolytes of Jabba the Hutt. The heroes are taken to Jabba’s palace, where he and the other Hutts plan to sell them to Separatists. The heroes are freed when the Menajak, a group of slaves who are leading a rebellion against their masters throughout the Outer Rim, attack the Palace.

    The group flees to Mos Espa and takes refuge in the home of the Menajak leader, Shmi Skywalker and her fifteen year old son, Anakin, who was amongst the Menajak who attacked Jabba’s Palace. The heroes learn that the Outer Rim is under the control of the Trade Federation whose droids, led by General Grievous, enforce their will upon the people. The heroes also learn that the Neimoidian race, who own the Trade Federation, are a member of the Separatist faction and are funding the Clone Troopers with money from the Hutt’s criminal empire. The Menajak plan to enter Anakin into a Pod-Race where he will plant bombs at various points on the track and are timed to explode. When the bombs explode, they will cause a massive distraction that will allow the Menajak to infiltrate the Droid Army base in Mos Espa and reactivate the signal so they can call to the Republic for help. Anakin enters the race and places the bombs at many points throughout the course and even wins the race. The bombs are detonated and cause a tremendous series of explosions that the majority of the droids in Mos Espa investigate. The Menajak, with the heroes in tow, infiltrate the Droid base, activate the signal and call for aid while securing a ship amongst the droid armory for the heroes to escape in. Shmi sends Anakin with the heroes at Qui-Gon’s behest and they all flee back into space. The heroes are pursued by several bounty hunters, including Jango Fett, who try to capture them, but are thwarted by the Republic rescue squad sent to retrieve the heroes, as per the call of the Menajak.

    The heroes are taken to Coruscant, where Queen Amidala exposes the evil that has ensnared the Outer Rim to Chancellor Vallorum during a session of the Senate. Mean-while, Anakin is taken to the Jedi temple and learns the history of the Jedi whose leader, The Prime Jedi, was slaughtered by the father of the Sith, Darth Vader (a different person than the one that will be in the original trilogy, but with similar armor). The Jedi council, who include Mace Windu, Yoda and Sheev Palpatine, feel that Anakin shouldn’t be trained, although Palpatine feels that they may be mistaken. The heroes, along with the entire Jedi council, join a Republic armada and trek to Naboo to aid the Republic fleet that has maintained combat with the Clone Troopers since the Queen was rescued.

    Darth Tyranus sends Darth Maul to Naboo to battle the Jedi and assist the Clone Troopers in securing the planet as a new base. We will see Darth Tyranus and his numerous Sith Knights on the planet of Devonar during various brief interludes to see the psyche of the Sith and members of the Separatist movement discussing battle strategy for the war.

    The Republic battles for Naboo as Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan duel Darth Maul (the same duel from the actual movie). Darth Tyranus brings another Clone unit with him to Naboo and attempts to tip the fight in his favor. A group of pilots, including Anakin, soar into combat above the Naboo atmosphere and a try to destroy Tyranus’s ship. Anakin breeches the core with his ship’s blasters and the ship slowly begins to explode, but not before Anakin crashes into the interior of the ship. When Anakin recovers, he finds himself in the grasp of Darth Tyranus, who tries to kill him with his light-saber, but is blocked by Anakin, who has a light-saber that he stole from the Jedi temple. Anakin and Tyranus duel until the destruction of the ship becomes too great to ignore, leaving both combatants to retreat. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan continue the fight against Darth Maul while the Jedi Council leads the Republic army to a victory. Maul fatally wounds Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan avenges his master’s slaying by plunging his light-saber into Maul’s abdomen and letting Maul fall into the chamber (same fall, but not cut in half).

    Yoda grants Obi-Wan permission to train Anakin as a Jedi, at Palpatine’s insistence. A funeral is held for Qui-Gon, where Anakin and Padme (Queen Amidala), who have been romantic to each other from the moment they met, silently begin a secret romance. The planet of Naboo celebrates their victory.
  2. mavjade

    mavjade It's so FLUFFY! Fanfic Manager star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Sep 10, 2005
    Hi Albert T and welcome to Fanfic!

    We don't allow threads that ask if a story is a good idea (or outlines), but we welcome fanfics that you want to write and post! You'll find the link to the story boards (FanFiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond) at the top of this forum if you'd like to share your fic with us.

    If you want to discuss Star Wars in general and not in terms of FanFic, please check out the Star Wars Saga- In Depth forum.

    If you have any questions, please feel free to PM (called conversations) me!
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