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Beyond - Legends My Life as a Stoner, or How I Stalked Talon Intelligence Squadron - Diary Ch '09 updated 2/26/16!!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Lady Belligerent , Jan 3, 2009.

  1. Lady Belligerent

    Lady Belligerent • WNU Adoptions Coordinator• star 7 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Jan 29, 2008
    Connie - Yes, tell me about the insanity.:p Thanks for checking in![:D]

    Lilith - yeah, Stud and anything flammable is not a good idea.[face_mischief] Thanks for reading!

    Trikes - [:D] I'm glad you enjoyed!

    Peri - Thanks![:D]

    Iverna - Thanks for reading! I've had so much fun writing this story.

    Nat - Thanks! Only Stud would need rehab for video games.:p

    YodaKenobi - WoW was exactly what I was thinking of.[face_laugh] Thanks for reading!

    Kick - You get your wish, read on, babe![:D] Thanks for reading!

    Cyn - Well, Stud can always find ways to destroy everything in sight.:p Thanks for reading![:D]


    For this update I want to thank my super substitute beta, Darth_wanderguard.[:D] You are a doll!:* Trikes, come back soon!! I hope things are well with you.[:D]



    I'm updating tonight from the medical center since Stud had another minor accident. Don't worry, he's okay and should recover 100%. Let me back up and tell you the whole story.

    We've been on Tour for Lula's book,"I Lost My Job, My Marriage, and My Nerf - What Bad Juju Can Do". It's a big time best seller in every major city we've visited so far. Last night we were invited to this fancy party that was held below Reef Home City. It's a beautiful, floating city, and the party was held in a sort of bubble that allowed you to enjoy the beautiful ocean.

    The mayor of the city along with all sorts of other famous people attended. You can't begin to imagine how glamorous it was! We all went shopping and had new outfits for this shindig. I was looking darned hawt, and Stud wasn't half bad in his magenta sequined sarong. Too bad it got sort of messed up... Anyway, I'm getting to that.

    Mr. T and Lula sat Stud and I down before we left to have what they've been calling The Talk.

    Before every party or book signing they make sure we aren't bringing anything flammable, no spying equipment, nothing electrical, and of course we can't bring chewing gum. Lula told me my eyes are going to get stuck if I don't stop rolling them so much, but really! Is it necessary to always assume that we are going to get into trouble?

    Anyway, earlier tonight in the lift down it was fairly crowded and I could tell Stud was getting nervous, he's not terribly fond of being underwater and it seemed to take forever. He was the first one out the doors when they opened and I told Lula and Mr T. to go on ahead. I'd catch up with Stud and make sure he was okay.

    I found him at the bar, ordering one of those strong adult beverages he likes. His fur was sticking out sort of wacky and his eyes were bugged out. I asked him what was wrong and sure enough, he said being underwater really freaks him out. I have to admit that it was creepy being in nothing more than a glass jar at the bottom of the sea.

    It would've been rude to make Stud drink alone so I ordered a glass of wine and sat beside him at the bar. We've been working on our next set of plans to track down Stone. There are several solid leads we've stumbled on and I'm feeling like we should have an address soon. It's a real shame about losing all my notes in the... Um, fire and flood, but I'm getting to all that.

    So, Stud and I moved to a table beside the bar where we could spread out some notes I had brought along. Since these events can be long, and we've heard the same speeches over and over, Stud and I try and get in some work during them.

    I'm glad we had something to distract Stud from the fish looking at us as we had our dinner and read reports on possible Stone sightings. My website brings in several reports a day from people that claim to know who Stone is and how I can locate him. Go ahead and admit it, setting up a web page was a brilliant idea and everyone told me it wouldn't work. Jeez.

    Sorry, it's hard to stay focused when I start thinking about my Stone...

    Stud was getting tipsy from the drinks he kept ordering, but they were free and it's hard to pass on that when a giant sea creature the size of a Star Destroyer is watching you outside the window. It was getting tough to keep Stud's attention though and I figured it might be best to take him back to the hotel. I went and found Mr. T to let him know we were going to leave early so he and Lula wouldn't be worried.

    I mentioned that this whole place was pretty much clear, right? You could see enclosed conduits where cables for power and emergency stairs were enclosed, and a few assorted boxes that probably held breakers or fuses or something. It's really clever I guess but now that I think about it that place was down right dangerous.

    I got back to the table and told Stud we were leaving but he was grumbling that his datapad needing to be charged and he thought he had found something important that he had to show me. It couldn't wait and he needed to show me here and now.

    Stud fell out of his chair while trying to get up, but dusted himself off and spotted one of those boxes I mentioned, it was right beside the bar. He didn't look too stable but he knows his way around wiring so I wasn't so concerned at that point. The box had a small lock but Stud got a butter knife and popped that baby right open. It wasn't an ordinary outlet like we are used to in our homes, so Stud said he would have to improvise and make it work. He asked me for a few items and what I didn't have in my handbag I was able to find behind the bar. The paperclip, Whoppers in Strawberry Milkshake flavor, an aspirin, and 6 inch square of cardboard were easy to round up. Thankfully the bartender had a small can of hairspray.

    I've got a bad feeling about this...

    (Missing parts??)

    Stud laughed and said to try it. Well, hell no! I'm not crazy! Before I knew it he yanked it from my hand and stuck the copper wires to the end of his tongue. Let me tell you, I've never seen fur do what Stud's fur did. It was frightening and I'm sure it glowed for several seconds before I came to my senses and pulled it out of his hand.
    Sparks were flying all over and without thinking I tossed the cable, it hit the window making a long creaking noise. At the same time the lights flickered and went out.

    Everyone survived. Mr. Tib and Lula were shocked that the whole place was so flimsy it fell apart from poor Stud trying to plug in his datapad. Anyway, they did some grafts and the doctors claim his fur should grow back.
     
  2. Darth_wanderguard

    Darth_wanderguard Game Host star 6 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2005
    Best. Update. Ever.
     
  3. Lilith Demodae

    Lilith Demodae Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 1, 1999
    Oh no! Stud can find something to hurt himself on anywhere, can't he? And a Stone-spotting website, what an inspired idea!
     
  4. Jedi_Perigrine

    Jedi_Perigrine Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 22, 2008
    Too bad we can't stick Stud on the case of taking down the Talons' enemies. I think he'd do it quicker than the Talons could. :D

    Good update, keep em comin!
     
  5. Ceillean

    Ceillean Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 13, 2001
    Is it necessary to always assume that we are going to get into trouble?

    [face_laugh][face_laugh] Uh...yeah.

    Seems they get into trouble ALL the time.

    Great update!

    =D=
     
  6. NYCitygurl

    NYCitygurl Manager Emeritus star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2002
    [face_laugh] She and Stud seem the be the distructo twins 8-} I love their version of "The Talk" [face_laugh] :D
     
  7. canadianjedimama

    canadianjedimama Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 28, 2008
    [face_laugh] :_| [face_laugh]

    *holding sides*

    I honestly don't know where you come up with it but it's absolute gold!

    =D=

    Loved it!

    And congrats on the noms, dear one! :*

    Cyn
     
  8. JediXManSerenaKenobi

    JediXManSerenaKenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 27, 2007
    I'm sorry it's taken me so long to read this!! Wow, that last chapter was hilarious!! And I feel bad for her... she never got her cookie!! Here's one!! *hands out cookie*

    Can't wait for more!!




     
  9. THE_PIED_PIPER

    THE_PIED_PIPER Chapter Rep Knoxville, TN star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2006
    Wonderful my dear, as always.

    I might have some ideas for the website. [face_mischief]

    Yes, and it's safe to assume that trouble is never far... :p


    :* Kick
     
  10. YodaKenobi

    YodaKenobi VIP star 6 VIP

    Registered:
    May 27, 2003
    Sorry I'm late. I missed the update :oops:

    Before every party or book signing they make sure we aren?t bringing anything flammable

    lol

    I?m glad we had something to distract Stud from the fish looking at us as we had our dinner and read reports on possible Stone sightings. My website brings in several reports a day from people that claim to know who Stone is and how I can locate him. Go ahead and admit it, setting up a web page was a brilliant idea and everyone told me it wouldn?t work. Jeez.

    [face_laugh]

    I'm sure those sightings are reliable :p

    Stud fell out of his chair while trying to get up, but dusted himself off and easily spotted one of those boxes I mentioned, it was right beside the bar. He didn?t look so stable but he knows his way around wiring so I wasn?t so concerned at that point. The box had a small lock but Stud got a butter knife and popped that baby right open. It wasn?t an ordinary outlet like we are used to in our homes, so Stud said he would have to improvise and make it work. He asked me for a few items and what I didn?t have in my handbag I was able to find behind the bar. The paperclip, Whoppers in Strawberry Milkshake flavor, an aspirin, and 6 inch square of cardboard were easy to round up. Thankfully the bartender had a small can of hairspray.

    I've got a bad feeling about this...

    Stud laughed and said to try it. Well, hell no! I?m not crazy! Before I knew it he yanked it from my hand and stuck the copper wires to the end of his tongue. Let me tell you, I?ve never seen fur do what Stud?s fur did. It was frightening and I?m sure it glowed for several seconds before I came to my senses and pulled it out of his hand.
    Sparks were flying all over and without thinking I tossed the cable, it hit the window making a long creaking noise. At the same time the lights flickered and went out.


    [face_laugh] :_|

    everyone survived. Mr. Tib and Lula were shocked that the whole place was so flimsy it fell apart from poor Stud trying to plug in his datapad. Anyway, they did some grafts and the doctor?s claim his fur should grow back.

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Love the nonchalance about the "grafts."

    Tremendous post, Jag4Me =D= Lots of good laughs in here and it's nice to see the path of destruction continuing :p I don't think there's going to be much of the galaxy left when these two are done.

    Great work! :D

     
    Jag4Me likes this.
  11. Lady Belligerent

    Lady Belligerent • WNU Adoptions Coordinator• star 7 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Jan 29, 2008
    Thank you all for the kind replies! Sorry for the delay in updating, I've had some real life stuff distracting me.[:D]


    I've been really busy managing Stud's care, he may get out of the rehabilitation hospital next week. They say the twitching should get better over time, but the fur regrowth isn't going as well.

    Stud being out of action has really held up my search efforts. Lula had the perfect idea though, she had us hire her nephew Suzy as our personal assistant. For weeks I thought Suzy was a girl, then one day I was rushing into the refresher and he forgot to lock the door... Yeah. He's a he.

    The website messages have slowed a bit. We get about 50 messages a day from a crackpot that claims to be a close personal friend of Stone, I can't recall his name. Oh, yes! Suzy says it's Moose or something. We need a new plan.
     
  12. Lilith Demodae

    Lilith Demodae Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 1, 1999
    Moose! Lol. Bullwinkle will never forgive her if he ever finds out.

     
    Jag4Me likes this.
  13. Jedi_Perigrine

    Jedi_Perigrine Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 22, 2008
    lol that's awesome. Moose. I love where this is going...keep it up!

    BTW, I wouldn't hire anybody Lula suggested. Or Lula. Not that that's surprising, really.
     
    Jag4Me likes this.
  14. Trika_Kenobi

    Trika_Kenobi Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 4, 1999
    ... a boy named Su-zy. lol

    And Moose? Yah, Bullwinkle would never forgive her, but then again, Stone would probably have a real knee-jerk reaction to being called Bullwinkle's "close personal friend." Ha!

    As always, absolutely hilarious! Great work! Keep it up! :cool:
     
    Jag4Me likes this.
  15. JediXManSerenaKenobi

    JediXManSerenaKenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 27, 2007
    Moose!!! Lol!![face_laugh] That is awesomeness. Loved this update! Sorry I haven't been around!!

    - Serena
     
    Jag4Me likes this.
  16. canadianjedimama

    canadianjedimama Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 28, 2008
    A boy named Suzy? o_O O rly?

    I bet he's got a great set of boots. [face_laughing]

    Nice update.

    Cyn
     
    Jag4Me likes this.
  17. THE_PIED_PIPER

    THE_PIED_PIPER Chapter Rep Knoxville, TN star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2006
    Connie, you take care of yourself and you know where we're at if you need us. [:D]


    For weeks I thought Suzy was a girl, then one day I was rushing into the refresher and he forgot to lock the door... Yeah. He's a he.

    [face_laugh] :_| =D= That... is perfect. [face_peace]


    Kick

     
    Jag4Me likes this.
  18. NYCitygurl

    NYCitygurl Manager Emeritus star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2002
    [face_laugh] Nephew Suzy - that's just cruel :p

    I really hope you continue the story!!!
     
    Jag4Me likes this.
  19. Lady Belligerent

    Lady Belligerent • WNU Adoptions Coordinator• star 7 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Jan 29, 2008
    Thank you! I'd like to continue - finally!!

    First I'm working on editing all the previous updates. Some are garbled and missing sections.
    I'm hoping to find some part over on the TIS offsite.
     
  20. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 21, 2006
    Love this about the TIS. There should be more TIS books coming
     
  21. Lady Belligerent

    Lady Belligerent • WNU Adoptions Coordinator• star 7 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Jan 29, 2008
    Thank you!

    I'm trying to make repairs since it's garbled at some point. Also some parts disappeared *gasp*. If you happen to hear from Trika, I messaged her awhile back to see if she had some of the missing parts.
     
  22. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2002
    Intriguing title, and interesting opening piece.
     
    Jag4Me likes this.
  23. Lady Belligerent

    Lady Belligerent • WNU Adoptions Coordinator• star 7 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Jan 29, 2008
    Thank you for reading. I had a lot of fun working on this and have a few ideas on continuing.
     
  24. Lady Belligerent

    Lady Belligerent • WNU Adoptions Coordinator• star 7 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Jan 29, 2008
    Gentle readers,

    I sincerely apologize for my delay in continuing to stalk, uh...update here. Life was complicated for awhile, it still is :p, I've just learned to suck it up and deal with it better. Thank you for sticking with me. [:D]

    I'm ignoring the break in time and you should too. This was originally all in fun and will continue to be insane, absurd, complete tomfoolery.

    Let the stalking continue! xxxxoooo

    ----------------------------

    Where was I? Oh! Yes!

    When we last spoke Miss Lula's nephew, Suzy, was giving us a hand.

    Suzy is a big time health freak and keeps bringing us take out from places where the food is raw and all natural. He said we've had too many chemicals and the high fructose corn syrup must go. I can't even pronounce, much less spell, the crazy snacks he's been getting for the office. How the heck can we concentrate on business at hand with this garbage?! Before I could sit down with him, my credit card statement arrived. We are definitely sitting down today for come to Yoda talk. I've been letting him use my card for our meals and supplies. He must be crazy!

    I can't allow him to waste Mr. T's money on all this crap that no one will eat but Suzy! Grrr
    If you guys know me at all, I hate wasting money...and food.

    Stud wants to let Suzy go but I don't want to risk getting Miss Lula mad at us. I'm pretty sure she's capable of sabotaging a persons ju-ju...since with enough supplies, she can repair it.