Saga My Secret Life...Padmé's Diary...Updated 08/09/09

This is really good!! I'm glad Padme confided in Sabe.

Please add me to the PM list!

 

earlybird-obi-wan: Lovely to see she has a friend in Sabe.

Padme definitely needs someone to confide in.


Jade_eyes: These entries are great--they have Padme's warmth and inner courage all the way through.

Thank you! I really wanted to showcase all aspects of her character.


Specterace: It'll help Padme a lot, I'm sure, to be able to talk to someone about this

It definitely will?especially considering what lies ahead


hyperspace_police: Nicely done Padme

Thank you, I?m glad you are enjoying the diary


CPL_macja: Okay... so I am three weeks late (Luckily I am only three weeks behind and not three months!)

Can you please PM so I don't over look this touching look into Padme's life.

Absolutely! And thank you for reading.


Lady_Misty: I don't think her crying is silly I mean she's a newly wed and her husband just marched off to war she's just worried.

She is definitely worried. This is all so new to her, so that is why she is feeling a little strange about things.


FitJedi: at least she has Sabe to help her through her situation and give her a release of some sort.

Sabe will be an enorumous source of much needed support for Padme.


JediMasterJessica: Interesting.....is this following canon?

Perhaps

NYCitygurl: This is really good!! I'm glad Padme confided in Sabe.

Thanks for checking it out! Padmé is relieved she confided in Sabé as well

 

Dear Diary,


What a horrible, wretched day!

It started with the simple, unavoidable task of waking up. I was annoyed because Anakin had promised to contact me upon my return to Coruscant. I knew it wouldn?t be the moment I arrived but Anakin promised and he?d never let me down before.

I didn?t start to worry until bedtime but then I told myself he just hadn?t been able to get away from the ever-watchful eyes of his Master or maybe he was still in a training session or something. Honestly, I have no idea what kind of hours the Jedi keep. They are so mysterious about their training and Anakin didn?t like talking about his time in the Temple much, so we didn?t.

I was convinced he would call during the night. I would happily wake up to take his call and we would talk until daybreak.

But he didn?t and I didn?t know whether to be mad or worried.

I?m sorry to say I was abrupt and probably down right rude with Sabé as we shared breakfast and went to the Senate. She tried to be understanding but finally stopped talking to me all together. When we arrived at my office, she went to her desk and I to mine.

When the Senate was called to order, my world fell apart for I learned of the first battles of what is being called the Clone Wars were underway and my beloved Anakin has been sent to the front lines.

I?m too stunned to feel much of anything other the icy fear that has gripped my heart.

What was the Jedi Order thinking agreeing to join the battle? They are keepers of the peace, not warriors!

Anakin is the smartest, bravest, toughest man I?ve ever known but he is not a soldier and from what the Chancellor said, the Republic has an army specifically trained for war so why are the Jedi involved?

I spent the rest of the session in silent prayer to the gods to protect my Ani and bring him home safe to me.

I recognized how selfish that was half-way through the day and quickly amended my prayers to include the protection of all those fighting and a quick end to the war.

I stumbled back to my office after the session and Sabé pulled me into her arms. We held each other, without saying a word for and endless amount of time. I am more grateful now that she knows of my secret for I would never make it through this agonizing time without someone to share my fears, worries and hope with.

 

Ani probably was trown on one of the first transports and sent off to war so he couldn't send her a message.

First post!!

 

I stumbled back to my office after the session and Sabé pulled me into her arms. We held each other, without saying a word for and endless amount of time. I am more grateful now that she knows of my secret for I would never make it through this agonizing time without someone to share my fears, worries and hope with.

but

 

I stumbled back to my office after the session and Sabé pulled me into her arms. We held each other, without saying a word for and endless amount of time. I am more grateful now that she knows of my secret for I would never make it through this agonizing time without someone to share my fears, worries and hope with.


I wonder if Sabé is experiancing a similar pain for a certain someone who is on the frontlines with Anakin?

Once again

 

Ahh how heartbreaking to have to hear of Anakins mission while in session, how horrible. Can't wait for more!

 

Poor Padme!!! It must be awful, not knowing where Anakin is except the front lines, and not being able to contact him.

Great post!

 

Great update seeing Padme writing this:

I?m too stunned to feel much of anything other the icy fear that has gripped my heart.

What was the Jedi Order thinking agreeing to join the battle? They are keepers of the peace, not warriors!

Anakin is the smartest, bravest, toughest man I?ve ever known but he is not a soldier and from what the Chancellor said, the Republic has an army specifically trained for war so why are the Jedi involved?

They shouldn't be. She is right about that.

 

Amazing update. Poor Padme--now she's even less likely to be able to talk with Anakin and their separations will be longer/more frequent

That is a telling question though... why are the Jedi involved in the war at all?

 

Ani didn't even have time to contact her before he left Poor Padme. She's going to be so worried until she hears from him. It least she has Sabe to lean on.

 

Lady_Misty: Ani probably was town on one of the first transports and sent off to war so he couldn't send her a message.

Yep ?


VaderLVR64: but

Thanks Padmé is finding the reality of her new life harder than she anticipated.


CPL_macja: I wonder if Sabé is experiencing a similar pain for a certain someone who is on the frontlines with Anakin?

No, she is just worried about Padmé and Anakin


FitJedi: Ahh how heartbreaking to have to hear of Anakin?s mission while in session

Yes it was. Definitely not how Padmé would have preferred to hear the news


NYCitygurl: It must be awful, not knowing where Anakin is except the front lines, and not being able to contact him

Yes and what?s worse, it was not something she ever thought she?d have to deal with.


earlybird-obi-wan: the Republic has an army specifically trained for war so why are the Jedi involved?

They shouldn't be. She is right about that.

I agree ? that was something that really bothered me in the movies.


Jade_eyes: Poor Padmé--now she's even less likely to be able to talk with Anakin and their separations will be longer/more frequent

Unfortunately so


Force_chick: She's going to be so worried until she hears from him. It least she has Sabé to lean on

She certainly will be and Sabé will, fortunately, be there to support her through it all.

 

Dear Diary


What a wonderful, glorious day!

Anakin surprised me with a visit last night! Actually, he surprised Sabé more, but I?ll get to that in a minute.

The Senate had an evening session and afterwards we went out for a late dinner, something that is becoming more and more typical with the war, I?m sad to say.

Anyway, when we returned home, Sabé offered to get a bath ready for me while I gathered a couple of reports to review before bed. I had just gotten to my desk when I heard the screams.

I ran to my bedroom just as Sabé was stumbling into the hallway, her cheeks a bright red. I was just about to ask what happened, when I glanced over her shoulder and saw Anakin hastily wrapping the bedspread around him.

I couldn?t help it ? I burst into laughter.

Sabé apologized profusely and ran to her room. I tried to tell her it was okay but I doubt she heard me.

?Didn?t we agree you were going to be alone at night?? Anakin breathed as he gathered me into his warm embrace.

I buried my head in his shoulder, inhaling his musky scent, tears of relief flowing down my cheeks.

?Oh Ani, I was so worried.? I lifted my head and began examining every inch of exposed flesh. ?Are you hurt??

?I'm not sure," he replied in a husky tone, dropping the bedspread. ?Perhaps a more thorough examination is in order.?

I eagerly complied and we had the best reunion I could have ever hoped for.

Later we talked about his experience, very briefly. Anakin insisted it wasn?t as bad as he thought it would be but I heard something in the tone of his voice. Something I can?t quite put my finger on?and it worried me.

But Anakin wouldn?t elaborate. He said he didn?t want to worry about me worrying about him and asked me to promise I would live my life as normal when he was gone.

I don?t think he realized just how hard that request would be. I feel so guilty, living here in safety on Coruscant, working, shopping, sleeping while he is risking his life battling for freedom.

I told him I would try and he said ?do or do not, there is not try,? and sounded just like Master Yoda. We both laughed and I hoped he would drop it but of course, he didn?t. He said he would function best if he knew I was living a normal life. So I promised, though I know I will continue to worry as I work harder than I ever have in my life to help bring an end to this war.

We were able to spend the entire night together. The first since our honeymoon and it was bliss. Anakin had to leave before dawn but he promised he would spend as much time as he could with me without arousing suspicion. He?s still a padawan, though Obi-Wan doesn?t monitor his every move since he is an adult.

Before he left, he showed me two special coms he had made, one for each of us so we can contact each other in complete secrecy. It was the second best gift he could have given me.

Unfortunately, he and Sabé still weren?t able to look at each other as he left.

 

Poor Sabe!

two private comms? Sweet!!

 

So I promised, though I know I will continue to worry as I work harder than I ever have in my life to help bring an end to this war.

And we know she tried. Poor Padmé

And lovely to have Anakin with her.

Nice update

 

LOL and Squee!


So glad they have secret coms.
I'd love PMs for future updates. I do not want to miss a thing.

 

HAHAHA ok I needed that good laugh after today. I could see the whole incident in my head,haha ok I'm still laughing. Poor genius! Thank you for that one.

 

Unfortunately, he and Sabé still weren?t able to look at each other as he left.

I know the feeling

 

That's hilarious!!! I love Sabe walking in on Anakin

 

I just read all of that, it was amazing. PM me with an update if you can. I feel for Padme, poor woman, she is so strong. I loved Sabe walking in on Anakin, funny

 

SABE' must be embarrassed.

 

Lady_Misty: Poor Sabé!

Indeed!


earlybird-obi-wan: And we know she tried. Poor Padmé

She certainly did


Jade_eyes: So glad they have secret coms.

Hopefully, that will make things a bit easier


FitJedi: HAHAHA ok I needed that good laugh

Happy to oblige


CPL_Macja: I know the feeling

It?s quite awkward, isn?t it?


NYCitygurl: That's hilarious!!! I love Sabé walking in on Anakin

Unfortunately, the feeling wasn?t mutual


tahiriveilax: feel for Padmé, poor woman, she is so strong

She is definitely trying her best to be strong.


Jedi_QueenBee: Sabé' must be embarrassed

That?s putting it mildly

 

Dear Diary,


I just experienced what had to be the most stressful evening of my life. Tonight was the annual Senator?s Spring Ball. I fully expected the event to be cancelled, given that there is a war going on, but Chancellor Palpatine gave a compelling enough speech that enough Senators voted not to cancel. The Chancellor stated the best way to honor those fighting is to live our lives as normal but I will never understand how frivolously wasting time and money honors anyone. Am I the only one who thinks it more logical that we spend our time trying to end this war instead of pretending it isn?t happening?

I didn?t want to go but as Senator of Naboo, I was obligated. I brought Sabé along, hoping she could fulfill my duties on the dance floor while I counted the minutes until I could slip away without causing a scandal. It didn?t work as I was asked to dance several times after arriving. It wasn?t just the war that kept me declining each request. It was Anakin. As strange as it sounds, it didn?t feel right for me to be dancing with another man while my husband wasn?t around and I was as content as I could be under the circumstances just watching.

It wasn?t until Sabé returned to our table and pointed it out to me that I noticed all the strange looks my colleagues were casting my way.

?Padmé, everybody is starting to talk about you,? Sabé whispered. ?You?ve got to pull yourself together, start dancing and look like you are enjoying yourself.?

She was right, of course. While I haven?t kept my feelings about having the ball a secret, it was completely unacceptable for me to sit at my table sulking. So, I accepted the next offer and the next and the next.

I didn?t like it a bit, but I am very practiced in plastering a smile on my face when needed and I have mastered the art of small talk so I pulled off the performance without a hitch.

Now, I?m just glad to be home. Tomorrow, I?m meeting with other Senators from the Loyalist Committee to discuss ways to refocus the Senate on the necessity for negotiation so we can end this war as soon as possible.

I can?t wait.

 

poor Padmé having to dance with strangers. But she is thinking about ending the war

Tomorrow, I?m meeting with other Senators from the Loyalist Committee to discuss ways to refocus the Senate on the necessity for negotiation so we can end this war as soon as possible.

Great, every war should be ended by talks and not fighting.

Great update

 

Awww, poor Padme!! That must suck And having to put on an act and smile and dance when she's miserable must be really hard.

Great entry!! One of my favorites so far