Beyond - Legends My Therapist Made Me Do It- The Reluctant Diary of Natasi Daala- UPDATE 4/16- The Box is OPEN!

Title: My Therapist Made Me Do It- The Reluctant Diary of Natasi Daala
Author: CelesteAntola
Timeframe: FOTJ era
Characters: Natasi Daala- Other characters TBD
Genre: Humor
Summary: The innermost thoughts (read as: crazy rantings) of Chief of State Natasi Daala. Written for Dear Diary Challenge 2010.
Disclaimer: George Lucas owns it all!

PM List:
[link=http://boards.theforce.net/PrivateMessages/SendMessage.aspx?usr=1317982]Diary_Challenge_Sock[/link]
[link=http://boards.theforce.net/PrivateMessages/SendMessage.aspx?usr=876954]YodaKenobi[/link]
[link=http://boards.theforce.net/PrivateMessages/SendMessage.aspx?usr=911592]RK_Striker_JK_5[/link]
[link=http://boards.theforce.net/PrivateMessages/SendMessage.aspx?usr=542223]Ceillean[/link]
[link=http://boards.theforce.net/PrivateMessages/SendMessage.aspx?usr=1229262]SithGirl132[/link]
[link=http://boards.theforce.net/PrivateMessages/SendMessage.aspx?usr=1166434]Draconarius[/link]
[link=http://boards.theforce.net/PrivateMessages/SendMessage.aspx?usr=705887]NYCitygurl[/link]
[link=http://boards.theforce.net/PrivateMessages/SendMessage.aspx?usr=1130464]dm1[/link]


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So...

I have to keep this journal...

Or at least that's what my therapist says I should do...


Kriffing therapist.



Huh... I wonder if she's gonna read this thing?

I hope not, because ink doesn't erase...

.
..
...
....
.....
......
.....
....
...
..
.

Okay, I should probably try to write something worthwhile, instead of just making geometric designs out of punctuation marks. After all, my therapist said that I should be open and honest and not be afraid of writing all my thoughts down.

But, a thought occurs to me... What if someone were to get their hands on this journal? I really don't feel like having my thoughts spread over the Holonet or to have political adversaries know how I think. It would hardly be a proper state of events for the Chief of State of the Galactic Alliance...

You know, I really feel like I need a drink...

Yes, I think that will be a far more productive activity than writing in this blasted thing.

Sorry, Madam Therapist. Your journal idea is over before it's even really begun.


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So much potential for hilarity here! Great start, Celsete I can't wait to see where you go with this. If you're starting a PM list, please add me to it

Awesome idea!

 

*Waves frantically* Add me, too! Add me, too!

This looks... interesting. Daala? Do we really wanna know what goes on inside her head? *Covers face, but splits fingers over eye*

 

Daala, huh? Well, admittedly she's an interesting character. And this seems to be funny.
PM's when you update?

 

Celeste, please add me to the PM list! This sounds fantastically entertaining, and I can definitely hear Daala's voice in this. More, please?

 

*raises hand* I'll take a PM, as well. This should be truly hilarious.

 

Haha, this should be interesting.

 

YodaKenobi- So much potential for hilarity here! Great start, Celsete. I can't wait to see where you go with this. If you're starting a PM list, please add me to it.

You're the first one on it! After the sock, that is...

Awesome idea!

Thanks!

RK_Striker_JK_5- *Waves frantically* Add me, too! Add me, too!

It is done!

This looks... interesting. Daala? Do we really wanna know what goes on inside her head? *Covers face, but splits fingers over eye*

*laughs* I'm not so sure myself...

Ceillean- Daala, huh? Well, admittedly she's an interesting character. And this seems to be funny.

Yeah... Humor's not really my thing, but I thought I'd give it a try. *crosses fingers*

PM's when you update?

Sure thing!

SithGirl132- Celeste, please add me to the PM list!

No prob!

This sounds fantastically entertaining, and I can definitely hear Daala's voice in this. More, please?

Thanks! I'm glad you can already hear her. I wasn't sure if I pulled it off, really...

Draconarius- *raises hand* I'll take a PM, as well. This should be truly hilarious.

You're on the list! And I really hope I can meet everyone's expectations...

FelsGoddess- Haha, this should be interesting.

*nods* For sure, to say the least...

And now, without futher ado, here's the next entry, including this month's challenge- An unexpected call.



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Kriff the KRIFFING delivery people!!!

I am the Chief of State of the blasted Galactic Alliance, and do you think that I could get a package delivered to me!?

NO! Of COURSE not!

Don't they know that when Natasi Daala orders something, it means that I want it NOW!!

But, noooo, the blasted GUPS-man just HAD to have a signature on the package, and without one he wouldn't leave it!! I don't have time to sit at home and wait for GUPS to deliver a package!! Don't they know that I have important work to do!? Don't they realize that not all of my packages can be delivered to my office!? Didn't he know that the fate of the Galactic Alliance could rest on the contents of that package!?!?!?

They want a signature!? I'll give them my signature... on a warrant for their arrest for obstructing the due process of the Chief of State's office!!! I can't wait to see the delivery man's face when I hand him THAT!

UGH! I need a drink right now...

Blast it! It's too early for catering to deliver alcoholic beverages to my office. I really need to get my own private stash in this office...

What I really need, though, are contents of that package!

While making my daily morning meditation session, the theme of which is always 'What would Tarkie do?', I had a grand idea. It's an idea that may change the Galactic Alliance forever... and also rid myself of that perpetual annoyance known as 'The Jedi', for good!

I really can't help the laugh that's escaping my lips right now. If my plan works the way I hope, not only will I rid the Galaxy of those lawless do-gooders, but I will also be fulfilling one of the pet projects of my dear, deceased Wilhuff.

Now, that is a legacy that I will be proud to leave behind...

I would write more, but my secretary just commed to tell me that she just received a call from Grand Moff Fel.

It seems he wants to pay me a visit.

How very unusual...

It is unexpected, but I think I may actually look forward to meeting with him. Fel's a sorry excuse for an Imperial Grand Moff, in my opinion. He's no where near the kind of man that Wilhuff was, but he is easy on the eyes...

Well, Madam Therapist, it seems that you've somehow managed to get me to write more of my thoughts down. Strangely, I do feel better; although, I am still going to serve that warrant to the GUPS man.

Well, I really must stop writing, and prepare for my meeting with Fel. T

 

You do have Daala's character quite well-captured; she certainly isn't patient at all. "Tarkie," hmm? I rather like it.

 

'What would Tarkie do?'
Perfect mantra for her.

Great update

 

LOL, Tarkie? Tarkie???

perfect Bond Girl, here. You nailed the psycho perfectly. I feel bad for Jag now... which has gotta be a first.

Thanks for the PM.

 

Tarkie!!

And she thinks Jag cute. At least she has a halfway decent taste in men.

But I totally understand her annoyance towards the GUPS man (GUPS reminded me of a fish, by the way ). UPS and consorts annoy me on a regular basis.

Thanks for the PM!

 

While making my daily morning meditation session, the theme of which is always 'What would Tarkie do?'



This is awesome!! I love funny/crazy!Daala Please add me to the PM list

 

Sorry I'm late!

Don't they know that when Natasi Daala orders something, it means that I want it NOW!!

They sell Suncrushers on Amazon now?

GUPS-man



They want a signature!? I'll give them my signature... on a warrant for their arrest for obstructing the due process of the Chief of State's office!!!



Perfect. I love how crazy she is

Blast it! It's too early for catering to deliver alcoholic beverages to my office. I really need to get my own private stash in this office...

Nice touch. I can totally see Daala getting drunk by herself all the time.

'What would Tarkie do?'



I really can't help the laugh that's escaping my lips right now. If my plan works the way I hope, not only will I rid the Galaxy of those lawless do-gooders, but I will also be fulfilling one of the pet projects of my dear, deceased Wilhuff.
Now, that is a legacy that I will be proud to leave behind...

Why am I not surprised to hear she has a diabolical scheme to get rid of the Jedi?

Fel's a sorry excuse for an Imperial Grand Moff, in my opinion. He's no where near the kind of man that Wilhuff was,

Thank the Maker

Fantastic post, Celsete I love the way you're writing Daala. It's perfect! You've got the character right, IMO, with the right amount of humor to it. Daala really is a comical figure rather than a threatening one.

I'm very much looking forward to more

 

Ooh, this looks interesting! Can you add me to your PM list, please?

 

SithGirl132- You do have Daala's character quite well-captured; she certainly isn't patient at all.

Thanks!

"Tarkie," hmm? I rather like it.

I thought it was fitting...

Thanks for replying!

FelsGoddess- Perfect mantra for her.

I'm glad everyone likes it so much!

Great update

Thanks, and thanks for replying!

RK_Striker_JK_5- LOL, Tarkie? Tarkie???

I know, insane isn't it?

perfect Bond Girl, here. You nailed the psycho perfectly.

Thanks! I'm glad it's working for everyone!

I feel bad for Jag now... which has gotta be a first.

*snickers*

Thanks for the PM.

No prob. Thanks for reading and replying!

Ceillean- Tarkie!!

That seems to be everyone's reaction so far!

And she thinks Jag cute. At least she has a halfway decent taste in men.

*nods* I'm thinking we may learn more about her taste in men in the future...

But I totally understand her annoyance towards the GUPS man (GUPS reminded me of a fish, by the way ). UPS and consorts annoy me on a regular basis.

LOL. And about the fish- I know!! I almost didn't use it because it reminded me of guppies!

Thanks for the PM!

Thank you for reading and replying!

NYCitygurl- This is awesome!! I love funny/crazy!Daala

I'm glad you're enjoying it so much!

Please add me to the PM list

Will do! Thanks for reading and replying!

YodaKenobi- Sorry I'm late!

No worries! As it is, I still have to reply to "Lands of the Dead"... [face_doh]

They sell Suncrushers on Amazon now?

Maybe... or something worse...

Perfect. I love how crazy she is

I'm glad its working!

Nice touch. I can totally see Daala getting drunk by herself all the time.

Thanks. I do have to give you kudos for that idea, however. You used it to great effect in "Bloodtrail," and I thought it fit her character very well. The idea was further fortified by Jag's complaint in FOTJ about Daala always trying to offer him alcoholic beverages.

'What would Tarkie do?'

""

I'm really happy at how well that little line has been received! When it popped onto the screen, I was thinking that people were either going to love it or hate it...

Why am I not surprised to hear she has a diabolical scheme to get rid of the Jedi?

I'm not so sure... perhaps a crazy Jedi with the intitals KD have something to do with that...

Thank the Maker



Fantastic post, Celsete I love the way you're writing Daala. It's perfect! You've got the character right, IMO, with the right amount of humor to it. Daala really is a comical figure rather than a threatening one.

I'm glad you're enjoying it so much!! Although, I'd argue that Daala's comical/crazy side is kind of scary and threatening. She can do a whole lot of damage to the GA because of it....

I'm very much looking forward to more

Soon!

dm1-Ooh, this looks interesting! Can you add me to your PM list, please?

Will do! Thanks for reading and replying!

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Time is running short, which means that an update will be forthcoming! Thanks to everyone (lurkers and non) for taking the time to read this! I hope everybody has a fun Super Bowl Sunday!

~Celeste

 

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You know, I can't help but to sigh in pleasure right now. There really isn't anything better in the Galaxy than a good Fogblaster at the end of a busy day.

Somehow those things just help to clear my head, and calm me right down. I think I have more lucidity with one of those in me than not. Otherwise, it's just far to tempting to order the construction of a Super-weapon and use it to completely destroy everyone and everything that stands in my way. Especially the Jedi...

And speaking of which...

I had such a lovely meeting with Jagged Fel this afternoon. He really is a fine specimen of a man, especially in a well tailored Imperial uniform. Wouldn't Jaina Solo just love to know some of my more secret thoughts about her lover-boy...

Unfortunately, Fel didn't come to see me just to give me the opportunity to enjoy some eye-candy. What he did come for was far more interesting, however...

Honestly, I was shocked by his proposal to me, and frankly I'm not quite sure what to do about it.

It seems he's been goaded into filing a case against a particular Jedi. Or should I say "goaded." He wanted me to believe that the Moffs had urged him to take some kind of action, but I could see right through Fel. I mean, who wouldn't want to take legitimate legal steps against a rival?

I have to admit that Fel has grounds, and I'm almost certain I'm on his side...

Be that as it may, I am hesitant to allow him to go through with what the Moff Council is proposing. I have to place controls on some things, especially to remind those chauvinistic, so-called Imperials who is really in charge here.

I almost couldn't contain my pleasure at the look on Fel's face when I told him that I would have to take his proposal into consideration. I think he almost expected me to make an immediate decision, considering my past with the Jedi in question.

Well, Fel and his Moffs will learn very swiftly that I am no longer going to be a slave to my emotions. I am the first to admit that I've made terrible mistakes in the past, many thanks to my temper. But this is too perfect of a situation for me to kriff by making trifling mistakes.

No, Durron will go free for now, and I will remain firmly in control, not only of myself, but of the Galactic Alliance as well.

No matter how many Fogblasters that may take...

Oh, and I'm happy to report that the GUPS man promptly delivered my package. It's amazing what a slip of flimsi from the GAS will do to speed up delivery services, isn't it?

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Dear lord... RUN JAG, RUN LIKE THE WIND!!!!

Okay, so Daala is a happy drunk. I can see that. Man, poor delivery guy too. So something with Durron? Almost makes me wish I followed FOTJ... nah.

If this ends with Durron beheading Daala in mid-writing... I will love you forever. Can't wait for more!

 

That's what the Jedi are doing wrong. They should keep Daala drunk and everything will work out.

Wouldn't Jaina Solo just love to know some of my more secret thoughts about her lover-boy...
A lightsaber would go through Daala pretty fast, I'm thinking.

Wow, Daala agreeing to do something... yep, her drinking is definitely the answer.

Poor GUPS man

Great update!

 

Gotta love the acronym GAS, gets me going! GUPS is fun, too.

So Durron goes free for now, and Fel's request is under consideration, while Daala has a few drinks.

Keep this coming!

 

I have a feeling Daala will regret letting Kyp go free. Especially if a few drinks were involved.
And now you're giving me ideas of Jag and Daala. Where did I put that brain bleach...?

 

Awesome!! I love Daala in this And the crushing on Jag amuses the hell out of me

 

Daala likes Jag. I wonder what Jag would do if he ever found out about it?

Good idea not locking Kyp up.
Because now he still has the chance to kick her in the butt.

That might have been a mistake on her part...
Oh well, tough.

 

Cel: This story is officially brilliant!

There's something playful about how you're writing Daala, phrases like Jag's "proposition" - yes, she's an unstable psychopath, but you make her fun, and likeable...

Has she had the drink problem since JA3, I wonder...

And if ordering superweapons is "far too tempting" when she's sober, does that mean she already has?

Her attraction to Jag makes perfect sense... and Jag's attitude to Kyp is quite convincing too, even if Daala's analysis is maybe made more confident by the Fogblaster (and, if memory serves, this is canon, too, right? )...

Now, what's in Daala's GUPS package? I assume it's not a Star Wars book?

- The Imperial Ewok

 

RK_Striker_JK_5- Dear lord... RUN JAG, RUN LIKE THE WIND!!!!

I loved that reaction!

Okay, so Daala is a happy drunk. I can see that. Man, poor delivery guy too. So something with Durron? Almost makes me wish I followed FOTJ... nah.

It's a blip at the beginning of Outcast that I think has been skimmed over for the most part...

If this ends with Durron beheading Daala in mid-writing... I will love you forever. Can't wait for more!

I'm not so sure that's where this is headed, as I'm trying to stay canon-compliant... But I'll take the rewards for such an action into consideration...

FelsGoddess- That's what the Jedi are doing wrong. They should keep Daala drunk and everything will work out.

I wouldn't feel so sure about that...

A lightsaber would go through Daala pretty fast, I'm thinking.

*laughs* Don't be giving me ideas now...

Wow, Daala agreeing to do something... yep, her drinking is definitely the answer.

She may have different plans up her sleeve...

Poor GUPS man

Great update!

Thanks! And thanks for reading!

dm1- Gotta love the acronym GAS, gets me going! GUPS is fun, too.

I'm glad you like it!

So Durron goes free for now, and Fel's request is under consideration, while Daala has a few drinks.

Just another day in the Galactic Alliance.

Keep this coming!

*salutes* Will do!

SithGirl132- I have a feeling Daala will regret letting Kyp go free. Especially if a few drinks were involved.

*nods* Me, too.

And now you're giving me ideas of Jag and Daala. Where did I put that brain bleach...?

That was the idea... *hands SG the brain bleach*

NYCitygurl- Awesome!! I love Daala in this And the crushing on Jag amuses the hell out of me

Thanks!

Ceillean- Daala likes Jag. I wonder what Jag would do if he ever found out about it?

He'd probably feel sick...

Good idea not locking Kyp up.
Because now he still has the chance to kick her in the butt.



That might have been a mistake on her part...
Oh well, tough.

Her plans for Kyp remain to be seen...

ThrawnMcEwok- This story is officially brilliant!

Thanks!

There's something playful about how you're writing Daala, phrases like Jag's "proposition" - yes, she's an unstable psychopath, but you make her fun, and likeable...

I'm glad it's working so well for everyone!!

Has she had the drink problem since JA3, I wonder...

Something else to go back and research, methinks...

And if ordering superweapons is "far too tempting" when she's sober, does that mean she already has?

Well, the point here is to illustrate that Daala's more in control of herself after she's had a strong drink than not, so I'd say no.

Her attraction to Jag makes perfect sense... and Jag's attitude to Kyp is quite convincing too, even if Daala's analysis is maybe made more confident by the Fogblaster (and, if memory serves, this is canon, too, right? )...

Yep. Like I mentioned before, it's in Outcast when Luke goes to visit Daala at the beginning. I find it interesting that that bit of information has been almost completely glossed over... I suspect that it's not the last we'll see it mentioned either...

Now, what's in Daala's GUPS package? I assume it's not a Star Wars book?

Nope. You're close though...

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Thank you all for the replies!! I'm going to try and get another update posted today, lest I fall behind! Thank you all for reading!

~Celeste