1. Welcome to the new boards! Details here!

Saga - OT My Worst Student, the Young Comradette Vorr (OCs | ~3 ABY | OC Autumn/Winter Challenge Response)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Ewok Poet, Jan 2, 2018.

  1. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Jul 31, 2014
    Title: My Worst Student, the Young Comradette Vorr
    Author: Ewok Poet
    Genre: Character Study
    Canonicity: Canon
    Characters: Kaya Malokio. Mentions of Doria Vorr, Headmaster Maximus, Nola Katisver, Tasya, Tendra Risant, Orderina Taika, Rende, Dak Gauree, Pantareah Steurpa, Glaunder Porkley. Indirect mentions of Maris Inesedam Vorr, Elesandre Vorr and Ebe.
    Timeframe: ~3 ABY
    Rating: PG
    Length: Short
    Summary: Kaya Malokio, the Basic school teacher at First Agricultural Institute of Saccorata, states her case against a problematic student.

    A/N: This is my response to the OC Revolutions Autumn/Winter challenge. Requirements are in the below spoiler.

    This is the autumn/winter challenge provided by Chyntuck

    Write a story or a chapter of an on-going story in which the reader is introduced to an OC protagonist entirely through the point of view of another, secondary character. To clarify:
    1) Your OC is the main character of the story/chapter, i.e. the story/chapter is primarily about this OC.
    2) Your OC is not the POV character, i.e. we never get inside your OC's head.
    3) The POV character may be another OC or an established character.
    4) The narrative POV in the story/chapter must be either first-person or third-person limited.

    I opted for the first-person narrative POV.

    Kaya Malokio is a supporting character in my last year's DDC, Doaba Ke'demii - The Diary of a Young Comradette. She and the diary's teenage protagonist, Doria Vorr, don't get along at all. We heard Doria's angsty side of the story...but how about Kaya's?

    All the events and beings referred to in this story appear in the DDC, the only new thing is the Headmaster's name and character, and the name of the scholarship-winning student.

    I don’t understand why I have ended up here. I hope that you, Headmaster Maximus and parents’ council representative Nola Katisver, will honour my opinion and end up not giving the problematic young comradette a 5 in Basic at the end of her Lyceum studies. She does not deserve it. I have done everything that I could to prevent this.

    There are so many great students in the same class of Aurek-10, such as Tasya of R’vanye and Tendra Risant, so why am I wasting my time with the problematic one yet again? Why isn’t comradette Vorr herself invited for a long-due hearing and considered for necessary disciplinary measures? I have nothing to do with her, I am just doing what I’m paid for – encouraging young comrades and comradettes to explore the values of Progress and Unity through literature and creative writing. The problem is that comradette Vorr does not understand what the words such as “individuality” and “creativity” mean. There is no value in outpourings that do not make a progressive young being think.

    Moral values as opposed to values of Progress and Unity? Sure, young Rende had a problem understanding this topic, too; but I firmly believe that he made an honest mistake, unlike comradette Vorr. Her sole intent was to provoke me, much as she always does. Her whole presence is about provoking me. I do not deserve this.

    I try to do everything I can to show my students their place in the world. I brought a young talent and the winner of this year’s Grotlo County writing camp scholarship, Orderina Taika, to have a talk with the young comrades and comradettes of Aurek-10. Everybody other than Vorr was being progressive and reasonable and there she was, asking for comradette Taika to read her writing. Of course, Taika said that it was not at the right level for that age – and I could see Vorr get upset. This was not rudeness on Taika’s part, on the contrary! Vorr should be aware of her own talent, or lack thereof. What kind of a progressive young comradette is unable to understand her place in the world? In the grand scheme designed by the very first Triad? Definitely not this one! She has delusions about making it, while being just an orange shirt! This is unacceptable.

    To elaborate further: nobody is obliged to read anything, if there’s nothing in there for them. In comradette Taika’s context, that would mean any unsolicited manuscript. She has won the scholarship and if anybody else wants to follow her footsteps, they need to be progressive. In my case, I am not obliged to care about anything that I have not requested from my students. From the moment comradette Vorr exits the school building and goes home, she is not my problem. Her overly emotional approach to unimportant matters, esoteric nebulae of adolescent confusion, matters unrelated to progress and unity, her open rebellion against my ways, it all leads to compromising me as a teacher. She should not be questioning my abilities and my compassion for those who truly deserve it – it’s in our school’s manifesto, after all!

    Comradette Vorr’s constant, permanent attention-seeking behaviour is not the only problem I’ve been having with her. She has taken her unacceptable and unprogressive ways even further than that. She gets up solely to correct other beings in my class. She claimed, a couple of times, that young comrade Dak Gauree was not present, while I am sure that he had perfectly acceptable and progressive reasons for not being present. After all, no teacher ever had a problem with his behaviour and I’m pretty sure that they all had problems with Vorr’s.

    Yes, I did tear her assignment about her father’s funeral to pieces. She almost cried, while she should have dealt with it. For one, crying is not progressive! Also, why would an essay about one’s summer holidays be grim? I warned her. And she didn’t take the warning…instead, she came up with another bizarre topic – recreating the Battle of Priga with a neighbour bratling, using BYBLO construction blocks! That was another one of her sinister ways, she did it solely to get a reaction out of me. For the kicks! No sane young comrade or comradette would go on about recreating what our great ancestors have done with younglings’ toys, no respectable Sacorrian would replace the blood sacrificed for the progress of our society with pieces of plastoid! Comradette Vorr is extremely subversive and if you don’t see it, you might be having a soft spot for her.

    Yes, I did give her a zero when she copied the young comrade Rende’s essay. She couldn’t have possibly come up with the topic herself. Balance between own moral values and the traditional concepts of Sacorrian values. Rende is smart enough for that, Vorr is not. This was the moment I completely lost the hope that something would ever become of that girl. She dared to say that she couldn’t have been more individualistic in a “system that discourages individuality”. I then quoted the well-known point 12.4 in the Education chapter of the Book of Law. I implied that she does not know the true meaning of the word “individuality”. Her non-Sacorrian views must have been influenced by her equally subversive mother who was, apparently, an orange shirt, too!

    Comradette Vorr is also sycophantic. Her relationship with the fellow teacher, comradette Pantareah Steurpa is concerning, to say the least. They’re too close, and a teacher should keep their distance from a student. I firmly believe that it was indeed comradette Steurpa who reported me to the committee. Nobody else would ever side with problematic students. I am hereby reporting comradette Steurpa for too many post-class activities.

    After all these unacceptable acts of libel against my person, I was forced to adopt a new approach: when comradette Vorr raised her hand, I would address somebody else. She should have learned what her place is, she had to come down from up above the clouds over our glorious fields of dustcorn. She should have listened what the other, far more progressive, non-subversive comrades and comradettes had to say. But what did she do? She started doodling and scribbling nonsense in my classes instead! There was a moment when I saw some of it during a break, searching her backpack…and I was shocked. How in the name of Sacor did she think that she could invent her own worlds and a future other than what will obviously happen?

    The last straw was whatever provocation led the disciplined young comrade Dak Gauree to throwing spit-stained flimsi balls at Vorr. Perhaps she swore at him between her teeth. Perhaps she was distracting him with those blue overalls. Like our psychologist, comrade Sophronim said, girls who are too distracting to boys should be more humble. He was too lost for words upon hearing that Vorr hurt another progressive young man, Glaunder Porkley. Whatever had happened between them should not be our concern, but if she had attempted to pressure him into any kind of an activity that is not desirable before the marriage, then she should be sent to a proper psychiatrist and she is beyond Sophronim’s help.

    You do understand that this caused me great distress, comrades. I have been teaching for three years now and I have never had problems with students other than Vorr!

    Why am I not using her given name? I was advised to keep my distance. It’s progressive. Sophronim knows more about Seegmon D’Fraud’s “grey crystal method” than anybody in the teacher’s guild ever would.

    Doria? Oh, yes. Right. That’s her name. I honestly forgot, after having been keeping my distance for so long.

    My final words? I’m right. Comradette Vorr was not accepted into SUPAS and that’s a solid proof that I should have never wasted my time on her. She is just a teenager whose hormones work at sublight speed and she should have grown up by now. Once she is mature enough, she will understand that beings like her are not capable of creating art. Art is objective. Art is not personal. Art is not a result of own experiences, but a view of the world, the one meant to introduce values and concept of progress and unity to the masses.

    I am waiting for your verdict. Thank you.


    You are ordering me to rise her grade to 5. How could this be? How could you dismiss my concerns about Vorr’s behaviour and about comradette Steurpa needing to be assessed for her relationship with students? I…I protest.

    Oh…you say that my salary would be lowered and that I could risk a suspension, lasting one whole semester? And I used inappropriate language?

    Of course, comrades…of course. I accept your verdict. Thank you for keeping this school progressive, as you always do. I wouldn’t have arrived this far in my professional teaching career, hadn’t it been for you!

    Last edited: Mar 21, 2018
  2. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 30, 2005
    Hoo boy! This is some brainwashed adult. She teaches creative writing but her definition of “creative” only fits within a narrow parameter. It’s like an art teacher saying you may use any color as long as it’s a shade of brown within your paintings.

    well, if it’s in the school’s manifesto, how can you argue?
    I remember the scene where Doria was given a public dressing down because who had the audacity to write a sad essay about her father’s funeral - how unprogressive to not write something cheerier.

    Oh please! Those two lame excuses can go pound sand. If she does nothing they torment her. If she stands up for herself, then she is being a troublemaker for these fine young men who clearly are more valuable than she is. She can’t win by this logic - the dociety is rigged for girls like her to fail.

    wow. Everything you just said is completely wrong. This is so interesting when you think about Anjie’s struggles to create authentic art, for himself and not to simply churn out another hit for the machine. Doria creates friction, agitation; that’s the place where art thrives. Art is intensely personal and as such that’s how it reaches the people. We see the passion presented in the art in ourselves. Art touches the deep soul of all of us.

    I’m so glad this tightly wound witch got her comeuppance. She was so smugly sure that she did the right thing by denying Doria! Now she gets to taste her own medicine!

    Great description of Doria from the viewpoint of one of her worst adversaries. How revealing of them both!
    Kahara, Ewok Poet and Findswoman like this.
  3. BookExogorth

    BookExogorth Jedi Grand Master star 4

    May 4, 2017
    Oh my.
    I've gotten to know Doria a bit from your other story, and to think that someone would be this... mean and catty to her is horrible.
    :mad:I didn't like it one bit when she kept assuming that Doria was stupid, boring, and obviously to blame for all her troubles.
    Kahara, Ewok Poet and Findswoman like this.
  4. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Aug 14, 2002
    Very good stream of consciousness effect.

    The latter part of the teacher's defense, eg. Ignoring raised hands, going through Doria's backpack, shows her fixation on, and passive bullying of the child.

    However, the earlier parts, her reasoning certainly seemed to fit in with the progressive Sacorrian values that I have seen in your other works, so I was with her in her defensiveness.

    Has there been some sort of cultural shift of which she and I am unaware?

    Also, I get the impression that the childrens' work for this class is primarily presented in writing; therefore, I can see an educator not reacting diplomatically to a student rocking up with some plastoid blocks, in order to re-enact a battle.

    It is a shame that the committee or tribunal, made no attempt to demonstrate to your protagonist why the values that she claimed she was following, were wrong.

    Is this because Doria now has friends in high places, because of where she went when the SUPAS' placement fell through?

    Good stuff.
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2018
    Kahara and Ewok Poet like this.
  5. Findswoman

    Findswoman Force Ghost star 5

    Feb 27, 2014
    Wow, this Comradette Malokio is... a real piece of work! :eek: I knew that already from Doaba ke'demii, but it's taken up to about 12 or 13 here... and but of course this report on this "worst student" really says more about the teacher writing it (who is indeed Doria's "worst teacher") than about the student it's written about. The very fact that Malokio is pouring SO MUCH EFFORT and ENERGY into this report already speaks volumes; I think she feels threatened by her, because her brand of individuality and creativity is so totally outside of Malokio's little restrictive, "progressive" box.

    Indeed, the very terms "individuality" and "creativity" have totally twisted meanings in a totally twisted society like Sacorria, as we see here. Malokio seems to especially have it in for the emotionally expressive dimension of Doria's writing, as we see from her reaction to Doria's essay on her summer. Good gosh, lady, did you really just rip up a grieving student's essay about her grief in front of her face? :eek: But nooooo—a summer vacation cannot be grim and sad, no matter what RL actually throws one's way during that time. So yes, emotion is out.

    Apparently creative use of unconventional media is, too: scenes of historical battles recreated in BYBLO blocks? SHOCKING! (Whereas anyone normal would understand that that choice of media is by no means disrespectful to the events in question and can even be quite the opposite—I'm reminded of a wonderful Lego diorama I saw last year of the Battle of Scarif. :cool: ) I remember how much fun Doria had building those dioramas with Ebe, and that makes it sting all the more to hear Malokio tear it apart here.

    Of course an ornery old battle-axe like Malokio would find some trumped-up reason to target a teacher Doria actually likes and has a good rapport with, too. Jealousy, much? I remember Comradette Steurpa well from Doaba; she's the "best teacher" counterbalancing Malokio's role as "worst teacher," and it's a shame she has to be dragged into this by this nasty colleague of hers. Though given the outcome of this piece, I am hopeful that the authorities spare her.

    And of course don't even get me started on all the totally twisted and wrong attitude toward Doria's social interactions, and especially those involving members of the opposite sex (viz., Glaunder "Porky" Porkley). [face_mad] Though I know that reaches far beyond Malokio and is endemic to Sacorrian culture and society in general.

    So with all this, it's gratifying to see her DEE-NIIIIED! at the end of this story. [face_devil] Definitely goes to show that at least some in the Sacorria educational bureaucracy have something in them worth saving from the fire. Even so, it's not surprising to see Malokio acting the sycophant to the very end, in true Sacorrian fashion (the very qualities she was casting in Doria's teeth!). Can't change a leopard's spots, I guess! :p

    Very cool character portrait here, offering some very unique insight into your universe! :cool:
    BookExogorth, Kahara and Ewok Poet like this.
  6. Raissa Baiard

    Raissa Baiard Chosen One star 4

    Nov 22, 1999
    Dear (!) Comradette Malokio reminds me of my first grade teacher, who chastised me for looking ahead in my Dick and Jane reader to see if the eponymous characters ever did anything interesting (answer: no). Like Malokio, she was totally incapable of dealing any student who fell outside of her very narrow definition of “normal”. :p At least my teacher had the excuse that she was one year away from retirement; Malokio says she’s only been teaching three years, which suggests to me she was never really suited to be a teacher at all, even somewhere as repressive as Sacorria.

    She certainly doesn’t seem to realize that a teacher is there to assist ALL students, not just the “exceptional” or average ones. And the way to handle a problem student is not to belittle, ignore and dehumanize her. Malokio’s not the astute judge of character she believes herself to be if she thinks Dak is “disciplined” and Porky had to be “pressured into an activity unsuitable before marriage.” It’s tempting to blame all her flaws on being brainwashed by Sacorrian notions of progressiveness—and there’s certainly plenty of that, as evinced by the way she fails to look past students’ shirt colors—but her rancor towards Doria seems entirely too personal. Lady, if you honestly believe a teenage girl lives and breathes solely to provoke you, then you are the one who needs a therapist, not her. A real therapist, that is, not one who subscribes to the theories of that quack D’fraud.

    Thank goodness that the cooler heads of the committee prevailed (maybe because Jan’s Mother is on it?) and awarded Doria the grade she deserves.
    How progressive of Malokio to accept their judgement after they threatened to dock her salary. :p

    On a side note, I love the fact that names like Orderina and Progressina are apparently common on Sacorria. It’s like a twisted form of Puritan virtue names.

    Here’s hoping Malokio finds a more suitable vocation in the future—herding nerfs, perhaps? I hear it’s quite progressive. ;)