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Saga Naboo Rain - A/P, O-W, Dooku - (Complete) Clone Wars

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Reihla, Oct 9, 2003.

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  1. Darth_Lex

    Darth_Lex Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 17, 2002
    I've been meaning to catch up on your story for a while and finally had time tonight. I can only agree with your other readers that this is an amazing fic! :D

    Your characterizations are just perfect. The argument with Obi-Wan was so believable that I had no trouble at all visualizing their body language and facial expressions, and their tone of voice. And Padme is equally true to form, devoted to her values yet even more devoted to Anakin.

    And your Anakin is one of the best I have ever read. The way you have weaved the fundamental influences of his childhood (like tinkering and flying and strong emotions of all kinds) with the effects of his Jedi training (like guilt for breaking rule and trying to be calm and patient), plus his love for Padme and the brutality of the war, to explain the young man he has become is simply remarkable. Your Anakin has more depth and spirit (as sad and worn as they may be) than any of the EU authors have been able to give him, IMO. You've clearly delved deeply into his psyche and you've managed to convey that to us as readers. Very well done.

    Rest assured I'll be along for the rest of the ride, however long it lasts.
     
  2. jedimastersam

    jedimastersam Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Feb 6, 2003
    I just found this story and I am greatly impressed! Keep it up
     
  3. JediSenoj451

    JediSenoj451 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 24, 2001
    Beautiful post, Reihla. Bitterly sweet and poignant. I loved the rain imagery, especially. [face_love]

    ~*Senoj*~
     
  4. Reihla

    Reihla Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    May 17, 2002
    Thanks JDH3. Reading your story is a pleasure, BTW. Commenting is the least I can do. We all need input to inspire us to keep up the good work, yes?

    Darth_Lex, all I can say is ?wow.? Thanks for the high praise. It means a great deal to me. I?m happy to say this story has been relatively painless so far. I genuinely love the characters, so crawling around in their heads is a joy. I credit much of my Anakin characterization to the Anakin Skywalker Homepage run by ami-padme. There are so many talented people over there (many of whom are also over here). Their insights and thoughtful discussions are great food for thought. Jude Watson and the Jedi Quest series has helped as well. I admit, though, that I took Anakin a few places Jude probably can?t due to her really young target audience. In the words of the great Han Solo ?it?s not over yet,? but I expect my posts to slow as I try to unscramble the ideas bumping around in my head. Thanks for letting me know you?re along for the ride.

    Jedimastersam ? Hi and welcome. I'm glad you like what you've read so far :)

    JediSenoj451, thanks for reading, and for the nice review!
     
  5. CrystalKenobi

    CrystalKenobi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2003
    Okay have caught up now. Loved all the posts. They were touching, emotional, and loving. You should write a romance novel, this was that good. The pm version was very well done, it was not as explict as some I have read, but that was what made it all the better, it allowed room for the imagination. Again, a wonderful story and look forward to more.
     
  6. Reihla

    Reihla Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    May 17, 2002
    Thanks Crystal. I've given thought to writing category romance, but I always seem to get distracted before the actual doing of it. Maybe once I finish this story...

    I'm planning another PM chapter, but not til later. I've got a couple of openings already I could go back and fill in, but I figured the consensus was probably that I should move on to the action stuff. That'll be a real challenge, for me. I'm much more comfortable with character development.

    Truth be told, I'm happy to write more explicit and graphic PM scenes, but I have to concentrate & spend time on them to keep the tension high. Given this was my first story here (my first story, period, in many years), I was more curious to see what the audience response would be before I spent too much time on the romantic encounters. This particular PM chapter was sandwiched in between the other two, so I really rushed it and settled for a more comfortable R-ish rating.

    I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far.
     
  7. CrystalKenobi

    CrystalKenobi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2003
    Truth be told, I'm happy to write more explicit and graphic PM scenes, but I have to concentrate & spend time on them to keep the tension high. Given this was my first story here (my first story, period, in many years), I was more curious to see what the audience response would be before I spent too much time on the romantic encounters. This particular PM chapter was sandwiched in between the other two, so I really rushed it and settled for a more comfortable R-ish rating.


    Well if that was R-ish then the more explicit and graphic ones you write whenever would have to great.
     
  8. Reihla

    Reihla Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    May 17, 2002
    Well if that was R-ish then the more explicit and graphic ones you write whenever would have to great.

    Gulp. I thought it was R-ish. Maybe I should go back and re-read what I put in there. [face_blush]
     
  9. CrystalKenobi

    CrystalKenobi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2003
    Pulling foot out of my mouth. No what you did was fine. You are right it is Rish. Sorry I did not mean that it was not Rish. This is one of the reasons I don't write stories, have a very hard time getting what is in my head onto paper or screen. I just wanted to say that your pm was great. Now I will be quite.
     
  10. kristeh

    kristeh Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 24, 2003
    Hi, Reihla,

    Another beautiful post! I loved how Anakin was mesmerized by the rain. How appropriate for him, too. Such storms would always have to be foreign to him. And it was sad for me, too, because of the storms of war and darkness that are about to surround them both again.

    The characterizations are still perfect. I've found the Anakin Skywalker Home Page to be a big help in "fleshing out" his character as well.

    I'm looking forward to more.

    Kristeh
     
  11. Alderaan21

    Alderaan21 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 24, 1998
    I have to agree with what's been said about the imagery of Anakin being mesmerized by the storm, by rain - it's a theme I've seen a few times, but it definitely works, and you especially did a beautiful job with it.

    I loved the sweet little thoughts like his wondering at how her presence banishes away the darkness in him - it's dead on, beautiful, but in itself is still a nice subtle foreshadowing.

    Agreed with Sock - this week especially, great fic like this definitely eases the mood. :)
     
  12. purpleMonkeeForceUsa

    purpleMonkeeForceUsa Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Oct 12, 2002
    How is it possible that I have not read this story until now????

    Great story, too many posts have occured for me to comment on every one, but I will sy this, your characterisation is extremey good.

    Anakins introspection in the first few posts was great.

    I especially liked the interaction between
    Dorme and Padme.

    In the last post his fascination with the rain, and its analagy with his internal emotions was good.

    I just found another story to keep my eyesies on.

    The pm chapters would be appreciated, if you could send them my way please, ta muchly.
     
  13. Padlei

    Padlei Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2003
    Oh. my. This fic is great!
    Your characterization (sp?) is dead on, you've nailed the characters perfectly.
    And this is a hard thing to do if you want to avoid one-dimensional characters.
    Funny thing is that I always imagined their time during the clone war exactly like you wrote it.

    So this fic is delightful...
    I loved the last part, heartbreaking yet sweet at the same time(Padme coming to him at the right time comes to my mind).

    Anyway keep up the good work!
     
  14. Reihla

    Reihla Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    May 17, 2002
    Kristeh & Alderaan21, thanks for noticing the foreshadowing of the rain. I was really trying for the whole ?fascinating and dark? element. Yup, the theme has been done before, and very well by some authors. Still, I felt it would set the tone well for the last night together in their special place.

    Welcome, purpleMonkeeForceUSA & Padlei, and thanks for the feedback. Reader commentary is always welcome :D
     
  15. JDH3

    JDH3 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2003
    Hey Reihla,

    I just thought I'd drop in and see how things are going over here. You're getting new readers, that's great! They are very well deserved as this story is excellent.[face smile]

    BTW: I saw the PM discussion you had earlier and I'm looking forward to the future PM's.[wink]
     
  16. MissPadme

    MissPadme Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 9, 1998
    Just read the last chapter...wow, wow, and wow! Perfect characterization, wonderful writing, and tying it in with the Clone Wars stuff. This story rocks!

    --MissPadme
     
  17. Reihla

    Reihla Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    May 17, 2002
    Part 9

    The rays of the morning sun burned away all traces of storm clouds shortly after dawn. Padmé woke to its warm light on her face and a refreshing rain-washed breeze.

    Somehow she knew, before even opening her eyes, that Anakin?s place beside her was empty. Sitting up, she quickly scanned the room. The panic clutching her throat eased a little as she spotted the familiar dark cloak hanging on the door next to her own. As she climbed out of bed, she glanced toward the terrace. There he was, in his usual morning meditation spot, facing the distant horizon. Suddenly breathing was easier.

    Pulling her silken robe around her she padded to the open door. Loathe to break her husband?s concentration, she leaned against the wood frame. This need to center himself before beginning each day was something she understood. In fact, she often found herself wishing for an affinity to the Force so she could draw the same comfort and resolve from it that Anakin found. She envied him the additional source of fortification, especially this morning as they once again faced separation.

    Knowing Anakin would sense her anxiety she took a deep, calming breath and tried to marshal her chaotic emotions. Better to spend this last hour or so basking in his presence, rather than waste it dreading his inevitable departure.

    She?d much rather think about the vision he made as morning light bathed him in its hazy golden glow. The linen undertunic and pants clinging to his still-damp skin made it obvious he?d recently come from the ?fresher. It also clearly outlined the changes she had already noticed in his body. He?d always been tall and well formed, but the past year had erased all traces of lankiness from his form. The promise of his youth had been well fulfilled in the new breadth of his shoulders, the new strength in his arms and thighs. She could swear he?d even grown taller. Yes, as a man Anakin was breathtaking ? a gilded vision of power and intensity to recall through the long, lonely months ahead.

    She noticed his hair was still wet too, bringing to mind a conversation they had shared the day before. She?d commented on how long it was and his reply had been that the war didn?t leave much time for haircuts. The traditional padawan braid and the ponytail in back were still there, but easily lost in the over-long burnished waves that brushed his collar.

    It was a simple thing to picture him without the telltale signs of his apprentice bond. She smiled at a mental image of Anakin in the more formal robes of Knighthood. His dark blonde locks would fall past his shoulders, streaked with gold courtesy of the suns of a hundred different systems. Yes, he would make a beautiful Jedi Knight.

    She gave a small sigh. It was an honor she hoped would not be far off, for Anakin?s sake. Her husband was not the most patient of men. As she?d done many times before, she prayed Anakin?s suspicions were wrong, that Obi-Wan wasn?t deliberately holding him back. Of all the things in the world that could hurt Ani, the idea that Obi-Wan had no faith in him would top the list.

    ?Good morning.? Anakin?s voice wrapped around her like a hug. Like a good, strong hug. She could actually feel the pressure, like an invisible embrace.

    ?That?s a neat trick, Jedi.? Padmé replied, ?but you?ll have to settle for the real kind from me.? She moved to stand beside him, arms tightly encircling his waist. He draped his own arm around her shoulder and gave her an answering squeeze.

    ?Something besides my leaving is troubling you.? The statement seemed more of a question. His eyes opened to look down at her for the first time since she?d come out onto the porch.

    It was tempting to deny her unrest and simplify their remaining time together, but Padmé found she couldn?t lie to him. ?I was just thinking what a beautiful Jedi you will make.?

    ?And you find that thought?disturbing?? Anakin?s voice deepened in mock seriousness, but his blue eyes sparkled with a hint of amusement.

    She starte
     
  18. DarthBreezy

    DarthBreezy Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 4, 2002
    Oh ****!

    Speak of the devil and he is bound to appear.....

    Lovely post.... [face_love]
     
  19. CrystalKenobi

    CrystalKenobi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2003
    For fear of putting my foot in my mouth again, [face_blush] I thought this post was wonderful. It had depth to the characters feelings and the dialogue was awesome. You manage to cover all bases as far as Anakin and padme wondering if Obiwan is holding him back, to Anakin's impatience that has become patience, to Padme's concerns about papatine, to going against Obiwan in front of the council. Thats what I could think of so far. I can't wait to see who is at the door. Is it Obiwan? Or is it going to surprise us?
     
  20. Reihla

    Reihla Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    May 17, 2002
    Thanks Breezy and Crystal :)

    Is it Obiwan? Or is it going to surprise us?

    I'm leaning toward it might surprise you... ;)
     
  21. Jazz_Skywalker

    Jazz_Skywalker Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2002
    Anakin?s eyes met Padmé?s. An interruption could only mean one thing - their idyll was over. Nobody knew they were here. Nobody except?

    My guess is Sola, but I'm probably wrong...

    Keep up the good work!

    JS
     
  22. JDH3

    JDH3 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2003
    Nice description of Padme and how her love for Anakin has grown with his maturity. Anakin's new found sense of destiny is also well done. Another excellent chapter and like everyone I am wondering who has arrived.
     
  23. RebelScum77

    RebelScum77 Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2003
    Finally caught up with this story!

    Nice job Reihla! I love it... I actually got kind of emotional there during the storm. The characterizations are beautiful, you don't seem afraid to jump right into the complexities of Anakin's personality. It comes across just right.


    Can't wait to read more :D
     
  24. purpleMonkeeForceUsa

    purpleMonkeeForceUsa Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Oct 12, 2002
    great post, evil cliffhanger have reared its ugly head.
    Who is it??? Part of me wishes its sola, part of me wishes its obi and part of me wants it to be palpatine...
    decisions decisions
     
  25. returnofthejeni

    returnofthejeni Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 29, 2003
    I hate cliffhangers...

    great post, :)
    can't wait to see who's at the door.
     
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