***Nicht SW Zitate***

Wenn ihr mal herzlich lachen wollt, gibt's hier jede Menge Zitate aus irgendwelchen chats:

http://german-bash.org/action/top/

Ich hab da schon so tolle Sachen gefunden:

Petey> sagmal welche augenfarbe hast du?
<Linda> blond
<Petey> ........ahja

Andi: du musst mit mir a paar mädels aufreißen
Andi: vergiss die vera
Andi: ups
Andi: sorry vera
Vera has left the conversation.

hauptman> Freunde?
<hauptman> Ich hab Internet

biG|d3sti> letztens hat mir ein kollege was erzählt
<biG|d3sti> er wurde von der polizei angehalten weil er als begrüßung gehupt hat
<kimmel> warum das denn?
<biG|d3sti> das ist verboten und kostet 25 ? strafe ;P
<biG|d3sti> er hatte nur 50 ? schein
<kimmel> löl und wie haben die das geregelt?
<biG|d3sti> er hat nochmal gehupt und meinte so: "stimmt so"
<kimmel> ROOOOOFL
<biG|d3sti> jetzt hat der ne dicke klage am hals wegen beamtenbeleidigung etc. )

lulaan> ooh man
<lulaan> hatte mir son geiles türschloßspray gekauft
<lulaan> und heute morgen zum auto gestiefelt
<lulaan> war eisgefroren
<lulaan> dacht nur so: " ha !"
<lulaan> in dem mom fällt mir ein dass ich das spray im handschuhfach liegen hab

Masterno> ach fu
<Masterno> ich hab kaum kohle
<Masterno> nicht ma geld für ne waffe
<bubii> was spielst du?
<Masterno> RL

 

im Prinzip alt, aber die updaten noch, oder? Lange nich gelesen

 

Jetzt ein bisschen Sam Fisher

[Sam Fisher grabs an Indonesian terrorist from behind]
Sam Fisher: Tell me what you know about your friends on the inside.
Indonesian terrorist: I don't speak English.
Sam Fisher: I'd bet your neck you do.
Indonesian terrorist: Well, maybe I speak a little English.

Irving Lambert: Now we have to find out if Soth is a terrorist or an american
Sam Fisher: You know, those two aren't mutually exclusive...
Irving Lambert: Hippy.

[Sam Fisher grabs a canister filled with a supposedly deadly aerosol virus]
Irving Lambert: Well done, Fisher. Now we need to find out what's inside.
Sam Fisher: I could open it.
Irving Lambert: ...and you could play Russian Roulette with a clip-loading pistol.
Sam Fisher: Where's your sense of humor?
Irving Lambert: You need to take that canister back to the extraction point. We've got a Mossad agent there waiting to analyze it. Goes by the name of Bellagio Sampler.
Sam Fisher: Bellagio Sampler?
Irving Lambert: You asked me where my sense of humor was.

[fisher is talking to a grabbed terrorist]
FISHER: ?I?m going inside to meet your friends. Anything I need to worry about??
TERRORIST: ?They have guns.?
FISHER: ?I?m shocked and amazed.?

BRUNTON: ?You should be close to Sadono?s plane, Fisher.?
FISHER (several metres from plane): ?Really??

FISHER: ?Hi. How?s your English??
TECHNICIAN: ?Super.?
FISHER: ?Super. I need you to raise that submarine.?
TECHNICIAN: ?Why??
FISHER: ?Because hurting people ruins my sweet disposition.?
TECHNICIAN: ?Ah, yes, yes, right away.?
FISHER: ?Thanks.?
TECHNICIAN: ?You?re welcome.?

INGRID: ?He hasn?t been back in Jakarta since the war began? if they?re admitting this is a war yet.?
FISHER: ?They?re still calling it an incident. There?s a thousand bomb minimum on wars.?

Sam: "Do you like my new knife?"
Terrorist: "Oh G**."
Sam: "I've been using it a lot lately. Is it still sharp?"
Terrorist: "Ver..Very Sharp."

Sam: "Who were you talking to?"
Terrorist: "Ugh! Who are you?!"
Sam: "I'm the guy who's gunna' break your knees if you don't tell me who you were talking to."

Fisher: "hi there"
Merc: "wow, a ninja!"
Fisher: "what?"
Merc: "you're a ninja right? how would you be able to sneak up on me like that?"
Fisher: "listen, i'm gonna..."
Merc: "i told them there were ninjas"
Fisher: "if you don't..."
Merc: "cool, a ninja"
Fisher: "i'm gonna kill you if..."
Merc: "wow, killed by a ninja"

Fisher: "Tell me what you know and i'll let you live"
Merc: "The key code to the front door is (blah blah blah)"
Fisher: Wait, is that it? no whining, no struggling?"
Merc: "You're the one with the knife"
Fisher: "Yeah, that's right."

Nedich: "I won't talk."
Sam: "Are you gonna make me cut your neck and look for the words inside your throat?"

Fisher: Hey, I don't no who you are, but this is private property.
Bank guard: What are you talking about? I've worked here for 2 years!
Fisher:Then what's the code to the back door?
Guard: The code is-hey, wait a minute, you tricked me!
Fisher: Alright, you caught me, I surrender. Oh, wait. Instead how about you tell me the door code before I have to hurt you.

Grim: These weren't my best years at all...
Fisher: What? You weren?t working for the government during the Gulf War?
Grim: No, I was in Tenth Grade?
Fisher: Oh. Right. Yuck.

Lambert: "Sam, u'got to blast ur way out"
Sam: "We're over 100ft underwater!"
Lambert: "You're not pressurised, it'll be a shock, but u won't get the bands"
Sam: "Next time, i'm making up the crazy plan and YOU go on mission"

Fisher: let me guess...3 alarms and the mission is over?
Lambert: of course not, fisher, this isn't a video game.

 

Huch, wo issn das? Nie gehört

 

in dem japanischen Herrenhaus, beim Nachtigallenboden (der, der "Musik" macht, wenn man drüber geht), kurz hinter der Stelle, wo man die Nummernschilder der Autos scannen soll.

 

Was kann ich dazu sagen:
"Von allen sichern Pläten auf der Welt ist das da keiner...."

 

"People should not be afraid of their government
Governments should be afraid of their people."
- V for Vendetta

 

Sehr cooler Spruch, Senny... Sollte man den Politikern aller Längern mal schicken...

 

Den Leuten aber genauso. Wir geben der Politik ja keinen Grund Angst zu haben.

 

Stimmt, leider auch wieder...