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Saga Night Vision - Rebel pilots, OT-era, October OC Challenge entry

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Thumper09, Oct 15, 2007.

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  1. Thumper09

    Thumper09 Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 9, 2001
    Title: Night Vision
    Author: Thumper09
    Timeframe: Roughly a year after the Battle of Yavin
    Characters: OC's
    Summary: A Rebel pilot tries to cope with job burnout.
    Notes: Here's my entry for the [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/25562370/]Essential Guide to OCs[/link] October Challenge: "When you?re a child anything can make you happy: ice cream, a trip to the grocery store, running with scissors.
    For adults it?s a bit more complicated. With stress and worries beating down on you, it takes something really exciting to cause that happy, giddy, lighter-than-air, run around and break stuff happiness.
    So lock up the good china, and give your adult OC something to smile about."
    Disclaimer: Star Wars isn't mine. I'm not going to be mistaken for George Lucas anytime soon.

    Constructive criticism is most welcome.

    --------

    "Night Vision"

    The sensors on Flight Officer Darin Stanic?s X-wing showed no enemy ships. And why should they? They hadn?t for the last however many hours that Darin couldn?t even bring himself to count. Why would things change now?

    ?Remind me again why we?re out here?? Darin muttered to his wingman, Flight Officer ?Quiver? Yanilr.

    Quiver?s transmitted reply carried a mixture of boredom and defensiveness. ?I told you, I had nothing to do with that prank?-?

    ?No, that?s not what I meant,? Darin interrupted, though he actually didn?t believe Quiver?s claim and privately thought the wingpair?s assignment to Corona Squadron?s farthest target was a direct result of that backfired joke a few days ago.

    ?Oh.? Quiver?s tone lost its defensiveness. ?Then I don?t know what you?re asking, Nine. I know you?re bored, but even if you?re as bored as I am you can?t be so bored that you want me to rehash the mission. Hey, I just used the word ?bored? three times in one sentence.?

    Darin rolled his eyes. Quiver was starting to count his words again, which was never a good sign. It meant the prolonged lack of activity was getting to him and would soon make him act even more strangely than usual. Best to end this discussion quickly before it got to that point. ?No, I?m not quite that bored, Ten. Never mind,? Darin replied.

    The comm between the two patrolling X-wings fell silent, and the fighters continued on their flight together. Darin shifted in his seat and fiddled with his inertial compensator?s settings to try to get comfortable, but that was too great of a challenge after almost twenty straight hours in this cockpit. Some of that had been travel time to this planet from their fleet, and aside from a brief refueling stop dirtside the rest had been spent in orbit around this Rebel-friendly world, keeping an eye out for any approaching Imperial ships.

    Darin couldn?t wait to get out of that cockpit. A nap and a hot meal would be wonderful too but were secondary objectives. His stiff muscles made him wonder how much longer it would be before his primary goal could happen.

    The pilot?s gaze went first to the instrument gauges with the remaining amounts of his consumables displayed on them. Fuel, oxygen, water, coolant...he did the calculations in his head, quantifying his life into basic volumetric amounts and how much longer each would last before he?d need to refill them again on the planet?s surface. Unfortunately, the math told him it would be a while.

    Next Darin checked his chrono. He matched that time with the mission plan and tried to extrapolate where the fleet was, where the other Corona Squadron pilots were, what each was doing, and when they would all meet up again so he could land on his capital ship.

    Of course, that depended on how the mission went and if any of the other pilots found some Imps. Darin?s mind glazed over all the details, the contingency plans, the nominal procedures, the sub-procedures making up the patrol, all broken down into steps and tasks to remember and perform. Cut-and-dry instructions, orders, jobs to do. Darin sighed. Everything about his life was just one duty after anot
     
  2. The_Face

    The_Face Ex-Manager star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 22, 2003
    Let me start by saying Quiver is a cool nickname, particularly for a pilot. :D

    Loved the description of the planet viewed from space. Absolutely beautiful work, Thumper!
     
  3. Thumper09

    Thumper09 Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 9, 2001
    I'm glad the description came across well in that part, Face. :) And Quiver definitely has one of the more...um..."unique" callsigns of the group (but that's a long, warped story). ;)

    Thanks for reading and commenting!

    -Thumper
     
  4. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    So nicely done! I can't believe I missed this earlier! :oops:

    Your OCs were just fantastic!

    =D=
     
  5. correllian_ale

    correllian_ale Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 20, 2005
    Gotta' go with Face, the planet's descriptions from space were beautiful!

    =D=
     
  6. snowspeeder_gunner

    snowspeeder_gunner Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 10, 2007
    Awesome! I liked your OC's alot, and you made the x-wing really believeable.

    Great story. :)
     
  7. Luton_Plunder

    Luton_Plunder Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 15, 2006
    Thumper, I read this ages ago but didn't reply because I am an idiot :oops:

    I love your characters - they're amongst my favourite OCs in the Star Wars fandom :D This is probably speaking across all of the Corona stories, but I just love Darin. He and Quiver work so well together, their dialogue is perfect for conveying their friendship. And now, the particulars:

    Don't think you slipped that little "in-joke" by me :p You handled it perfectly ;)

    I loved Darin's way of thinking about the difference between flying and flying, and I thought it was a perfect way to make him truly happy being the snubfighter jock he is :p Great response to the challenge, Thumper! Always looking forward to reading more about the Coronas :)
     
  8. Thumper09

    Thumper09 Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 9, 2001
    VaderLVR: Thank you very much! I'm happy you liked the OCs. :)

    ale: Like I mentioned with Face, I'm glad to hear that the description worked. :) I get nervous with description and associated pacing issues. Thanks for reading!

    snowspeeder_gunner: Cool name, BTW. ;) Thanks a bunch for reading and replying, and I'm extra happy to hear the X-wing was believeable. :D That can be a difficult thing for me to get right.

    Futon: Aww, thanks. [face_blush] Quiver and Darin are always fun for me to write, and it's encouraging to hear that they click. And heh, yes, there was a small in-joke in there. Glad you caught it ;), and also that Darin's path to happiness fit him. :) Thanks for the R&R!

    Thanks again, everyone. Much appreciated. :D

    -Thumper
     
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