Before - Legends Not Hers to Keep - Mother's Day Challenge Response - Shmi and Anakin

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by VaderLVR64, May 5, 2008.

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  1. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Feb 5, 2004
    Title: Not Hers to Keep
    Author: VaderLVR64
    Characters: Shmi, Anakin, Qui-Gon
    Notes: Written for the [link=]Mother?s Day Challenge[/link]

    Not Hers to Keep

    ?It?s a boy!?

    The midwife?s announcement was punctuated by the newborn?s outraged howls. Wearily, Shmi reached out for her son, the pain of bringing him into the galaxy already fading from her mind.

    As he was placed in her arms, Shmi observed with amazement as the baby?s cries immediately began dwindling. Finally, he gazed up at her with wide eyes, as if surprised to see her there. ?Hello,? she whispered, cupping his downy head in her hand. ?I?m your mother.?

    ?He?s going to be a big man,? Marrja the midwife noted as she grasped one of his feet in her hands. ?Look at these feet.?

    The midwife?s apprentice giggled as she handed Shmi a blanket to wrap up the baby.

    ?Was his father tall?? the young girl asked.

    Shmi looked at her, tried to remember the girl?s name and failed. Her name hardly mattered, the new mother thought dreamily. Her exhaustion was making her feel lightheaded and distance from everything except the baby in her arms. ?I have no idea?,? she murmured.

    She did not see Marrja and the girl exchange knowing glances.

    Carefully, Shmi wrapped the baby in the blanket and then snuggled him to her. He turned toward her, already instinctively seeking nourishment. Quickly, and with more skill than she had hoped for, Shmi positioned him to feed. The urgent tug of his mouth surprised her. It was strangely soothing, filling her with an odd sense of euphoria.

    Marrja leaned in close and whispered, ?Don?t get too attached,? she advised. Marrja delivered all of the slaves? babies. ?It?ll just make it harder??

    She let that thought trail off as their eyes met.

    Shmi knew what she was hinting at, but the warmth of the baby in her arms, the pull of his mouth, and her own exhaustion kept the ugly truth at bay. ?All right,? she agreed dazedly. ?All right,? she said again, hardly aware of speaking.

    Marrja stared at her for a moment and then sighed, shaking her head. ?He may not be yours to keep, Shmi,? she whispered.

    The new mother did not hear her words. She heard only the soft sighs of the baby at her breast.


    ?Sold?? Shmi asked in horror.

    ?Lost,? the man corrected. ?Your Master lost you in a bet.?

    Instinctively, Shmi tucked Anakin behind her, not that it would do any good. For once, he did not ask why; he simply held onto her skirts and hid his face in the folds of fabric. Her voice low and shaking, Shmi asked, ?What about?Anakin??

    Behind her, she felt her son stiffen in fear. Though he was only three years old, he was wise with experience. He knew what sometimes happened to children. Slaves were not in control of their own destiny. Their lives belong to someone else.

    It was a harsh truth he had realized at a very young age.

    ?The boy?? the man asked, obviously in a hurry to move on to the next task appointed by his employer. ?Oh?? He frowned. ?He goes with you.? He shrugged, as if it made no difference to him.

    And it doesn?t, she thought. He could care less. We?re just slaves. Pieces of property?

    ?Thank you,? she murmured out of habit and not from gratitude. ?Thank you.?

    The man barely acknowledged her words, already moving away. Shmi turned and gathered the trembling child into her arms.

    ?Shhhh,? she murmured, stroking her hands over his bright hair. ?It?s all right,? she soothed. ?You?re coming with me. No one is taking me away.?

    Anakin?s arms wrapped around her neck, holding onto her with painful intensity. She did not attempt to loosen his hold. ?You?re mine,? she whispered, more to herself than to him. ?You?re my son.?

    Even as she offered the words of comfort, she knew they had no real meaning in their world. But he was still hers for now?

    Not to keep, but to cherish. She would settle for what she had, knowing that the future was uncertain. She kissed the little face s
  2. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One star 6

    Aug 21, 2006
    :_|:_|That end with Shmi dieing. So heartbreaking beautiful.

    A very moving piece. Great work.@};-
  3. Idrelle_Miocovani

    Idrelle_Miocovani Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Feb 5, 2005

    That was beautiful, Kim! Wonderful insights on Shmi and her relationship with her son at various points throughout her life. :)

  4. Alexis_Wingstar

    Alexis_Wingstar Jedi Master star 4

    Sep 16, 2006
    That was beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes and warmth to my heart. Well done =D=
  5. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 30, 2005
    Beautiful. @};-

    I liked seeing this through Shmi's eyes, especially the ending:

    He had made her complete the moment he had arrived in her life. Now she would pass out of this existence, sheltered in the warm protection of his arms. Anakin protested, as she knew he would. He doesn?t understand, she thought. He doesn?t know that it?s all right.

    As a mother myself, I know that no matter how much we love our children, they aren't ours to keep -- someday they will leave us and move on, and that's all right. The fact that we got to hold them for a little while makes life whole. Beautifully written!
  6. ratna

    ratna Jedi Knight star 4

    Mar 1, 2007
    If I'm crying, it's my own fault!

    This had "read at your own risk' written all over it.

    And of course delivers 1000%
  7. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Jul 26, 2005
    That was so bittersweet.

    I'm not surprised Shmi knew Anakin wasn't hers to keep for very long and I love that she made the most of their time together.

    I just wish they could have had a lifetime together

    :_| :_| :_| :_|

    Great response to the challenge

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  8. Jedimaster_JainaSolo

    Jedimaster_JainaSolo Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jun 25, 2003
    :_|WOW=D= amazing!

    That was so very powerful. Very nicely done from Shmi's POV. wow. =D=

  9. pronker

    pronker Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Jan 28, 2007
    A beautiful response to the challenge. I liked the sense of Shmi looking over her life in her delirium and realizing that her end was not such a bad thing. It made Anakin's reappearance almost unnecessary. It was a blessing for her, though.
  10. Irish_Jedi_Jade

    Irish_Jedi_Jade Jedi Master star 4

    Jul 19, 2007
    MamaV!!!! I'm crying in the cafeteria!!!!! :_| That was soo beautiful...heartbreaking even! I so admire Shmi for understanding and being willing to let go so Anakin could become what he had to You communicated every little nuance so amazingly....:_|

    [face_good_luck] Irish
  11. Takianna

    Takianna Jedi Master star 3

    Apr 22, 2005
    Wonderful depiction! Great job!
  12. amidalachick

    amidalachick Force Ghost star 5

    Aug 3, 2003
    He murmured something and she struggled to make sense of it. Her pain was receding now, ebbing away from her swiftly, leaving behind only a warm euphoria. It was all right now; she was safe.

    Nothing could hurt her anymore. Ani was with her.


    What a poignant, yet beautiful glimpse into Shmi's life. Fantastic work, as always! =D=
  13. DaenaBenjen42

    DaenaBenjen42 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    May 15, 2005

    Wow... Loved this. Shmi's story just breaks my heart, and this... illustrates her beautifully.

    Well done. :)
  14. DarthBerryStraw

    DarthBerryStraw Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 20, 2007

    Ending with Shmi's death was so heartbreaking, but very fitting! Shmi's life was very hard. :(
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