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Before - Legends Observation - A Jango Fett Poem

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by MsLanna, Jun 26, 2007.

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  1. MsLanna

    MsLanna Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2005
    Title: Observation
    Author: MsLanna
    Timeframe: Before TMP
    Characters: Jango Fett
    Genre: Poem
    Notes: You don't think 'Jango Fett' and 'Poem' work together. He'd agree.:p





    Observation


    Maybe his are calloused hands,
    Who will ever see?
    Sheathed in gloves when they touch,
    their grip like steel made to restrain
    not to hold
    Tenderness? nil return
    - uncompromising -


    Maybe his are fearful thoughts
    Who will ever know?
    If they are full of fire and steel,
    or they threaten to reveal
    - regret -
    What does a man in iron think?
    You can take the helmet, but to find
    a face as hard as the Mando steel
    Revelation? nil return


    Maybe his are pensive eyes
    that hide behind that mask
    full of dark and depth and fire
    mirrors of hopes and of -

    But in his eyes the sudden
    - vulnerability -
    quickly retreats behind the sadness
    of knowing the world too well
     
  2. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Maybe his are calloused hands,
    Who will ever see?
    Sheathed in gloves when they touch,
    their grip like steel made to restrain
    not to hold
    Tenderness? nil return
    - uncompromising -


    Wonderful! I've been developing a greater affection for Boba Fett, largely because of YOUR work! So it's all your fault! :p

    =D=
     
  3. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 14, 2005
    *blames Lanna too now!*

    Alter Buhmann!

    *breaks out in laughter and hugs a brilliant German woman!*
     
  4. JadeSolo

    JadeSolo Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 2002
    I have my poetry hat on. Here we go. :p

    I like the repitition of "nil return" - way to use minimal words to get the point across. :D The separation of words like "uncompromising, regret, vulnerability," it makes a difference when you just glance at the poem. They stand out, like those are the main ideas you want to present. Most of all I love how the third verse just cuts off and then the next one starts with "But." It's as though you're stopping yourself before you go too far with that train of thought (Jango a sensitive guy?), and then moving on to remind us that he's got a defense put up.

    Excellent! =D=
     
  5. CodyMonKenobi

    CodyMonKenobi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 29, 2001
    I dom't read poetry that often but Im gaald i read this one. It is a very good description of one of our favorite Mando'ade.
     
  6. MsLanna

    MsLanna Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2005
    Ack! I am SO sorry, Vadey. It was never my aim. (Though my ex-master would be proud of me now.:oops: ) If there is anything I can do in compensation...

    :p azure.
    Your faith in my ablilies is appreaiated, though.[:D]

    W00t! That hat is amazing, JadeSolo! You got everything.:eek:
    Except that I didn't realize the words in hyphens would stand out so much. It's just my way to indicate longer pauses...
    The place I didn't dare to go in the last stanza rymes on fire and starts with 'des'. [face_blush] Fangirls...[face_blush]

    Thanks for trying though. CodyMonKenobi. And I'm glad you like the description. I'm all new to Jango and rather scared to get him completely OOC.
    And poetry should not be 'art', it should be a weapon.[face_mischief]
     
  7. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Community Squirrel Whisperer star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    Superb poem.

    But in his eyes the sudden
    - vulnerability -
    quickly retreats behind the sadness
    of knowing the world too well


    That is sadly beautiful.
     
  8. Bale

    Bale Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 9, 2005
    Awesome job! You captured Jango perfectly. :)
     
  9. MsLanna

    MsLanna Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2005
    Thank you Leona. That was the part I had first, actually.
    Sparked by the his pic in wookieepedia...

    Well, Bale, I'll take that as official permission to post Jango fics. [face_mischief]
    Be afraid, be very afraid.;)
     
  10. Lea-El

    Lea-El Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 13, 2005
    So we have a Jango girl. Great poem. Dark and dangerous guy.

    =D==D==D=
     
  11. MsLanna

    MsLanna Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2005
    Yeah, Lea-El, Jango girl, that's me....[face_blush]
    But what can I say? I like my guys dark and dangerous.:D
    Who doesn't?
     
  12. DaenaBenjen42

    DaenaBenjen42 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 15, 2005
    Why not Jango? One can put ANYTHING to poetry... :D

    Maybe his are calloused hands,
    Who will ever see?
    Sheathed in gloves when they touch,
    their grip like steel made to restrain
    not to hold
    Tenderness? nil return
    - uncompromising -


    Liked that part. Liked all of it.

    Well done and wonderful poem. :)
     
  13. The_Face

    The_Face Ex-Manager star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 22, 2003
    Oh this was stellar! I especially liked the opening "maybe his" lines. =D=
     
  14. Ulic_Starwalker

    Ulic_Starwalker Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 3, 2006
    Wow, very nice. =D= You captured Jango Fett perfectly. :)
     
  15. celine

    celine Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Sep 26, 2007
    But in his eyes the sudden
    - vulnerability -
    quickly retreats behind the sadness
    of knowing the world too well



    Ooohhh, very effective ending! =D=

    Beautifully Done!@};-
     
  16. MsLanna

    MsLanna Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2005
    DaenaBenjen - Thank you. Hands are important, they can tell you a lot about a person.

    Face - maybe I'd just like to know for sure. There's not much know about him.:(

    Ulic - Thanks. [face_blush] Capturing perfection is fun when it works out.

    celine - He might be all I want, but he will admit to nothing.[face_love]
     
  17. MandoJedi

    MandoJedi Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Aug 25, 2007
    Wonderful poem, MsLanna. :)
     
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