Beyond - Legends On the Way to Heaven - J/J Songfic - Post-DNT AU ... May 22nd

Title: On the Way to Heaven
Author: oldjedinurse
Timeframe: Post-DNT AU (most likely)
Characters: Jag, Jaina
Genre: Songfic
Keywords: Jag, Jaina
Notes: Vignette - Complete


Disclaimer: I own nothing I post in relation to SW. I'm just writing words in random order to provide you with the sport of interpreting them...


Song Credit: ?Something Happened On the Way to Heaven? (Collins/Stuermer) 1989 Atlantic Recording Corporation. Appears on the albums, ??But Seriously? and ?Phil Collins ?Hits?.




On The Way To Heaven


We had a life, we had a love,
But you don't know what you've got 'til you lose it


Her body seemed to drift along three steps behind as she crossed the vast hangar toward him.

Commander Jagged Fel.

Her mind still feeling the ache of Zekk?s death, Jaina knew this meeting was too soon but couldn?t let the opportunity pass. Another decade, a different war. Professional allegiances were temperamental as a protocol droid and everyone?s personal relationships were scarred. There might never be a good time?a better time.

Their last conversation whispered in her thoughts. He had been angry, bitter, unforgiving.


Well that was then and this is now
And I want you back
How many times do I have to say I'm sorry


She stared at his broad shoulders, their muscular shape so familiar and unmistakeable. Her hands tingled at the memory of clutching him to her. Jaina bit her lip, hard, to distract her body from its unerring need. No one else has ever made me feel this way.

The cloth of her uniform rustled as she shuddered involuntarily. No simple apology would be sufficient. She knew what she wanted?what she needed?yet there was every chance he would turn her away. I have no right even to ask.

Jaina kept walking.


I only wanted someone to love
But something happened on the way to heaven
It got a hold of me and wouldn't let go


I should have married you when I had the chance, Jag.

I was overwhelmed by the exhaustion, the sorrow of growing up in the Yuuzhan Vong chaos. Chewie. Anakin. Dad?s pain, and Mom?s. Jacen. Aunt Mara. Everything. I didn?t know who I was. Making a permanent commitment to be half of a couple terrified me. I made all the wrong choices and ended up with no independence after all.

Raynar Thul?s call to join the Killiks had been a drug more powerful than all the glitterstim in the galaxy. Caged by the hive?s mental pressure and their insistence that she be joined with Zekk, Jaina barely remembered most of her time with them. What they had done, the acts of the Myrkr Jedi, were clear because her family and Cilghal had recounted everything to her. After he had died. Jaina?s only real memory was of Zekk?s unwelcome intrusion. He had made the Killik pressure his own.

He knew. He had known all along. Jaina would never have been his. Not in the way he wanted. He could feel the cell within her mind where she kept her Jag-thoughts. Now and then he broke in, a voyeur seeking her most intimate memories. She had hated him for it.

Twice, Zekk tried to force himself on her. He chose vulnerable moments, after too much membrosia. The first time, he?d had too much to drink himself and fell asleep before reaching his goal. The second time, Jaina made sure his wounds wouldn?t heal too quickly. That put an end to his physical advances, but he refused to give Jaina her freedom.

If you hadn?t died, Zekk, your hold on me might never have been broken. Her fists clenched. Did you know how much I wished for you to go away? She swallowed the thought. It was a caustic lump that burned its way into her stomach.

All these desperate years, Jaina had held more than Jag in the privacy of her mind-cell. She had clasped tightly to what remained of herself.


And I want you back
How many times do I have to say I'm sorry


One slightly

 

That was pure . . . wonderful.

Your writing always leaves me with bated breath by the time it finishes, and this time was no expecption.

Great job.

 

Great songfic Scrubs

If only canon was this way

 

Ahhhh...just wonderful!

 

Beautiful! Absolutely amazing. It really captures the two of them in their own little bubble. The part about their bodies recognizing each other but their minds struggling with everythign else, it was poetic.

Very nice.

 

Great job, OJN!

I love her admission, how she'd made all the wrong choices. It's a tough spot to be in, a spot filled with such regret and yet here, some shards of hope. I also really appreciated how you described the "Zekk" issue - how he'd felt, how she'd felt and the 'cage' he kept her in. Hopefully some bridges can be crossed and some progress can me made!



Voz

 

Oh wow That was beautifully done

 

Making a permanent commitment to be half of a couple terrified me. I made all the wrong choices and ended up with no independence after all. Very powerful.

?Jagged Fel, I?m not leaving unless it?s with you.? There's our Jaina.

Excellent work!

 

I love that song and for such an upbeat tempo, the lyrics hold onto a little bit of the bittersweet. Nicely done encorporating the lyrics and J/J's story. The build up to the end...oh, so good! Two oldj fics in one day...? How great is this?

I loved how you closed things with this:
?Jagged Fel, I?m not leaving unless it?s with you.?

 

So glad you enjoyed this, Kissa. To leave a single reader "with bated breath" is an amazing compliment! Thank you so much.

Thanks, Chimpo. We can wish for profic, but I guess we'll just have to wait and see. *Fingers crossed*

Glad you think so, Jade_Pilot!

Thanks so much, Super_Jemi! I love the word poetic. It was very kind of you to apply it here.

Thanks, Voz! I love your interpretation - it is just what I was going for!

Thank you very much, PRINCESSCAMBRIA!

I love your comment, "There's our Jaina." I couldn't hope for a better response. Thanks, Fels!

Big hugs, my friend! Thank you so much for your support - I'm very happy you enjoyed this!

 

That's so ...

Wow.

Great work, oldj! I've missed your fics.

 

Oldj is back!!!

 

1) Please make sure to PM all your story infor to the Index.

2) Are you sure this is complete?

3) Once again, it is fantastic to see you writing again.

 

Excellent!

Is there more?

 

Thanks, Myra - great to "see" you again!

I'll take that to be a good thing...thanks, Courtney!

1. Done.
2. It was when I wrote it this morning.
3. Thanks so much, BF.

You guys are killin' me here! Thanks, ccp.

 

Twice, Zekk tried to force himself on her. He chose vulnerable moments, after too much membrosia. The first time, he?d had too much to drink himself and fell asleep before reaching his goal. The second time, Jaina made sure his wounds wouldn?t heal too quickly. That put an end to his physical advances, but he refused to give Jaina her freedom.

Creepy

?Jagged Fel, I?m not leaving unless it?s with you.?

Aww

Another great viggie, oldj Was glad to see Jaina free of the Killik hive mind and Zekk. Who would have guessed he was that creepy? Was also nice that Jaina seemed very apologetic, though I honestly don't think she did much wrong during the DN trilogy. She was one of the few Jedi doing the right thing, but I have a feeling that will come out soon...

I liked the way you left us on the edge, wondering if Jag would accept Jaina's apology and go with her, but I think it's pretty obvious he will. Who wouldn't?

Terrific job!

 

Thank you, friend Yobi!

Creepy? I've thought Zekk to be a bit creepy for a long time. His "join" with Jaina is just a little too weird, if you ask me -- and I don't attribute the whole thing to the Killik. *Shrugs* But that's just me...

Jaina was apologetic here, but I was thinking more in terms of being sorry for the ways in which she had used and abused Jag's good nature. In retrospect, I agree that she wasn't the villain of the Killik conflict -- I can't wait to find out what profic actually has in store on that subject.

Your comments are most appreciated, as always!

oldj

 

Another one? I want whatever you're drinking.

'Wow' is how I would describe this. Just wow.

I am not a songfic person, you know that. But this story tied into the lyrics so well I have to admit that I enjoyed reading it and will read it again.

It's a shame Zekk had to die for her to be free. It was sad to see that she was trapped by him. And I felt so bad, yes I'll admit that just this once, for Jaina being a joiner.

And to tell Jag she's not leaving unless it's with him. *sniff* Too emotional to describe.

Bravo oldj. Simply bravo.

 

Did you get bit by a writing bug? Two fics in a day?

I read this the first day you posted but I was so down (about my life) that I failed to respond. At the time this was a source of one of the few happy moments in my day. Thank you. You approach Jaina with such a vision of her character and the flawed passionate soul which drives her. Well done!

 

Absolutely beautiful. I loved it!

I totally agree on the whole Zekk thing too, he's become just plain creepy.

 

Maybe its the water up here...or Mocha Soy Milk.

Thank you! I couldn't ask for a nicer compliment.

The whole Killik thing was a sad situation. Interesting that you felt a bit of empathy for Jaina as a joiner. That's gratifying to me as a writer. Thanks!

Awww! I'm so happy you liked this...and thank you!!!

Yup. I've got scars to prove it. Those darned bugs are everywhere.
It is wonderful to hear that you appreciated Jaina as I wrote her in this fic. Thank you so much!

Thank you.


.

 

YIKES! It has been so long since I've responded to a story but what an excellent one to get me back into the groove. Something that is especially important to me in a story is characterization and you have Jaina (and Jag for that matter) spot on. I just loved her line at the end about not leaving unless it was with him. And I loved seeing her mentally acknowledge how she got to this point and the mistakes that she'd made but all the while retaining that bit of hope. Hope that things might work out after all.

Excellent writing my friend.

 

Aw, thank you! I really appreciate that you took the time to find this, read it and then offer such a thoughtful reply. I'm very happy you enjoyed the story, and particularly that you liked the characterizations. That makes my day!