Title: One Hundred Blessings
Author: divapilot
Genre: romance, introspection
Summary: Blue finds that Breha Amidala Solo has become a blessing in his life.

Written in response to Memorable Melodies found here http://boards.theforce.net/threads/memorable-melodies-roulette-time.50046409/] hosted by the wonderful WarmNyota_SweetAyesha. The song I received was “One Hundred Ways” by James Ingram.

Here is the video to the song. One Hundred Ways


Author’s note: The characters of Blue and Breha are OCs created by me a couple of years ago. They feature in a number of works of mine including “True Blue” and “The God of Second Chances” . Quick summary: Breha is the fourth child of Han and Leia, and unlike her siblings she has absolutely no Force abilities. In a moment of existential crisis, Breha runs away from her sheltered life and encounters Blue, a medic with a troubling past. Of course, they fall madly in love. You can read more about them here: http://boards.theforce.net/threads/bring-back-the-oc-revolution-new-challenge-and-new-discussion.50004117/page-9#post-51934890]

***

One Hundred Blessings


Blue found that counting things calmed him down, and he had adopted this habit as a way to ease his anxieties long ago. He had a menu of self-calming techniques that he had learned along the journey to sobriety, and would often select one or more when the situation called for it. Deep breathing. Focusing his vision on a spot on the wall for a few seconds. Reading a book to block out the stimuli.

But it was counting that gave him the most comfort.

Numbers were special. Most Barolians had an affinity for them anyway, and mathematics was such a deeply ingrained part of their culture that mentally counting to himself was second nature to him. Since the habit brought him comfort, as long as it did not become obsessive, his therapists found no harm in it.

Besides, Blue was a quietly religious man, and to him, counting was a form of prayer. He believed devoutly in the pantheon, all the gods and goddesses of Baroli who were symbolically represented by mathematical operations. He had taken the God of Second Chances as his own patron god, and considered Ianus to be the lifeline that had pulled him from the darkness of addiction to the light of sobriety. The number fifty was sacred to Ianus. When Blue needed to focus or to calm down, he would count slowly to fifty, and each increment was a like a bead on a devotional chain.

That worked for a long time for him. But now, it seemed insufficient. Of course, he still worshipped and honored Ianus, as he owed the god a tremendous debt. But the path of his life had taken an unexpected direction, and Blue felt that perhaps it was time to give another deity recognition for the joy that he had found. Tsiara was the goddess of good fortune, symbolized by the mathematical function of percentages, and she was honored by the number 100. Blue knew of no better way to express his thankfulness at his profound good fortune than by dedicating his counting to the goddess.

And it was the intercession of fortune that had caused Breha Amidala Solo’s path to intersect with his own. Love was the last thing on his mind when he met Breha. Sure, she was beautiful - fair skin, waves of brown hair, her dark eyes that glittered with wit and intelligence, the way that body filled out her clothes - ah, maybe some thoughts he would keep to himself. But there were billions of pretty young women in the galaxy - he was a young man; he noticed them. Then they went their way and he thought nothing more of it. None of them had ever turned around to glance back at him. Except Bree.

He caught her looking at him when he was working, he felt her furtive glances as he made his rounds. Her injury became an excuse to meet with her privately; those private consultations became long conversations, then shy kisses, then passionate embraces, then… well, then. And suddenly Breha was a part of him. She was the tune in his head that he found himself humming without realizing it. She was the familiar book he reached for, its words comforting and reassuring. She was the default thought his mind went to when he closed his eyes at night. She was the first thing he thought of the next morning.

So many years of living alone, so many years of not believing that he could find such a love, and yet, here she was. It had taken Bree a long time to convince Blue that he was even deserving of her love. He was troubled, he was difficult, he had “issues." He was sure that in a few weeks she would leave him, once she understood his situation. She would go and he would be alone again. But to his amazement she stayed with him, through his failures and setbacks, always there like a guiding star in the night. Weeks turned to years and she was still beside him.

They lived together now, in a small home that they shared on Naboo in the lower Lake Country. She loved him fiercely, protectively, with the intensity of a Guardian Saint —he knew that he owed her the sweetest debt. The gods had been kinder to him than he deserved, and he promised that every day he would count to one hundred for her - each number counted being a prayer for her. Every day, he would gift her with a hundred little blessings.

He woke earlier in the mornings than she did, and (one) he got up quietly so as to let her sleep. He (two) set up her caf so that she would have her beverage ready. He (three) turned the computer on to play soft music for her, usually something calming and sweet, because he knew she liked it when she got up. Sometimes if there were time enough, he would (four) straighten up the main room, keeping it neat for her so that she wouldn’t have to clean up. He got ready for work, and by the time he had finished his morning meditations, watching the morning mist rise from the lake, she would straggle into the room, yawning, her hair disheveled and her eyes bleary. It didn’t matter. She was beautiful, and (five) he told her so. He took her into his arms and (six) kissed her good morning. Her luminous smile warmed his heart. Then he left her to go to work.

So the day would progress. He kept track of the blessings, a tally of conscious decisions to show his love for her. Each mark in the margin of his journal represented an act of kindness or thoughtfulness. It wasn’t so much that he was trying to keep score, or that he expected something similar in return from her. It was a reminder of his good fortune, that he had a woman so kind, so gentle, so devoted that he could bestow such acts upon.

When he finished his long day at work, he took the public transportation to the station nearest their home. From there it was another twenty minute walk. He window-shopped for things he would like to buy her when the opportunity — a holiday or a birthday — presented itself. He sometimes stopped at the bakery to bring her home a sweet because he loved to see her face light up. Sometimes he would buy a few flowers to leave on her pillow. And the blessings counted on.

At night, they would get ready for bed. He would (ninety-five) put out her favorite perfumed cleanser on the counter in the ‘fresher for her. While she got ready for bed, he would (ninety-six) turn down the covers for her side of the bed for her since he usually went to bed first. Although he wasn’t used to it, he would (ninety-seven) keep the window open because she liked to hear the avians singing in the morning. Usually they talked quietly for a little while as they lay beside each other. Then he reached over, drew her to him, and (ninety-eight) kissed her gently goodnight. She liked to rest her head on his chest, his arm wrapped around her, and he knew that made her feel safe and relaxed, so (ninety-nine) he let her lie like that, listening to his heartbeat, until she fell asleep.

And then he (one hundred) closed his eyes and prayed for her welfare, and he thanked the gods for placing her in his life.

 

A beautiful, scrumptious entry for that song! I love the sense of love and gratitude that pervades. Thanks for participating. I just knew your offering would be splentabulous.

 

I sadly don't have that much experience reading about these OCs, but I like them. The fic really fits the song and the characterization of Blue fits it well. Great work!

 

Intresting story. I like the idea of Han and Leia having another child. I like Blue he is defenetly a very loving and caring person. I might check out your other stories with them at some point. The song fits pretty well with this story as well.
Nice work

 

Your OC´s enchant the reader and makes one long for more text, even though I have a very busy RL going on in the background.

 

And divapilot knocks it out of the park once more!

I believe I told you this already, but your writing has taken such an extraordinary qualitative leap over the past two years that I don't quite know how to describe it. It's not that your previous Bree and Blue stories weren't good, they were excellent – but this is better. Not a word too many, no grand emotions – and this piece is so incredibly poignant, especially in the passages where you describe, of all things, the simple, everyday, menial tasks that Blue performs for Bree. Making her coffee. Buying her a sweet. Turning down the covers while she prepares for the night. All these little acts would be uninteresting in the hands of a less-skilled writer, and yet you give them such immense importance in just a few sentences. I'm floored

Also, I really enjoyed how you further developed Barolian religion in this story. IIRC in TGOSC what we read of it was mostly Blue explaining it to Bree. Here we get to see how it is deeply, intrinsically part of his life. His faith helps him cope with his addiction, and his faith is the channel through which he thanks Bree for being there for him. I love the idea that each deity would be honoured by a particular number; there's a whole series of stories or drabbles waiting to happen here.

Lastly, you have a unique way of writing about mathematics. The opening paragraphs of this story reminded me of your drabbles about Galen Erso and how he was captivated by the sheer beauty of equations; it's nice to see this theme echo across different stories with different characters.

 

Oh, what a lovely addition to your Bree/Blue 'verse, and such a sweet tribute to the tender love between them! I just adore the way love, spirituality, and number come together here; very cool fanon indeed, one can tell that for Blue those things are all part and parcel of the same big, sacred, beautiful ball of wax (and I for my own part have always been a sucker for correspondences between spiritual and romantic love). Even the littlest actions that Blue does out of love for Bree—setting out her caf for her in the morning, her favorite cleanser in the evening—take on the character of ritual for him, beautifying his days and adding to them a bigger blessing that's greater than the sum of all those parts. (Hey, another numerical operation!) And it's notable that at least one of them—keeping the window open at night—is something that he personally is unused to. That says a lot right there.

Incidentally, one thing that gave me an extra smile when I first saw this story is the fact that Judaism also has a tradition of encouraging the saying of "a hundred blessings a day"—the ancient rabbis formulated blessings to be said under pretty much any circumstances one can imagine, from washing the hands to wearing something new for the first time to seeing a wonder of nature. Very cool to see a similar ethos at work in your beautiful fanon!

 

Thank you for running the challenge! Blue doesn’t just love Breha, he appreciates what she does for him. It’s a selfless love, where instead of enjoying what she brings to him, he finds joy in bringing happiness to her.

Thank you for your comments. I’m glad you like these OCs - your own OCs are fantastic, so that’s high praise. I created the culture of Baroli to be very mathematical (based solely on the personality of the EU character Ghent), so the song really fit into this world.

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Thank you! Please feel free to visit the Blue-niverse any time. When WarmNyota_SweetAyesha challenged me to create a fourth Solo child, I decided she would be like her dad and decidedly non-Force sensitive, and it’s created a very interesting new dynamic in the group. Blue is definitely a loving and gentle man, but it took him a very long road to get to this point. He wasn’t always this nice. This vignette is set at the point where he is emerging from a very tumultuous, violent, difficult time in his life. He knows it’s Breha who saved him - he’s a better man because of her.

Thank you, Azure! I know how busy you are - we teachers never get a break! Lol. Thank you for such a sweet reply.

Gulp - Thank you! Wow.
This look at Blue is really a portrait of a man who is the exact opposite of where he started. Here, he is mindful, meditative, caring, and grateful. When Blue was younger, before the crash (literal and figurative), he was hedonistic, selfish, cruel. He used women to sate his pleasure then discarded them. He hurt his family and it didn’t bother him at all. His only real friendship was based on a mutual access to spice and money. He had been hurt, and he wanted the world to hurt in return and he didn’t care what happened to anyone else. Now he has one woman in his life and he knows he doesn’t deserve her, so he tries to be worthy of the way she loves him. He wants to be the man she believes he is. He is humbled, and he’s a better person for having learned how to kneel. These little menial tasks are his way of offering his life to Bree - making her first, himself second.

Oh goodness - drabbles based on the Barolian pantheon? Whoo- that’s a lot of deities I’d have to invent. All of this extrapolates from Ghent and his infatuation with codes. But why not? Our culture is based on literature - we are the stories we tell, right? So why not a culture based on mathematics? One that layers mathematical structure and logic on top of an older, pantheistic faith. The original pantheon was from a more violent, chaotic time (think Norse gods, not Greek gods - no offense, Chyn ), and as the Barolian culture matured and unified, the mathematical framework provided a logical, peaceful approach to their faith and allowed Baroli to join a civilized, interstellar society.
And as Ewok Poet pointed out one time in a reply in an earlier Blue/Bree story, many people who suffer from addiction lean on religion, almost as a substitute addiction for the drug. Blue’s addiction to spice lends itself to looking to religion to become an anchor in his chaotic life. His was a true “jailhouse conversion” but his religious belief has grown and matured. His faith is so intrinsic to him that Bree recognizes that to truly understand him and to incorporate him into her life is to also incorporate his religion, and that’s why she converts.

I do love mathematics. Solving a math problem is like solving a puzzle for me. It’s fun. And it’s elegant, like poetry. I have a degree in literature and another degree in mathematics, so there’s a lot of left and right brain collision (and collusion) going on. I really see math and poetry as two sides of the same thing.

Thank you so much! Every act of kindness and thoughtfulness that Blue does for his Bree is an offering. It’s very much a ritual for him, and a way of being mindful of how very fortunate he is to have someone like her care about him. He doesn’t ever want to take her for granted. No sacrifice is too big or too small and insignificant to do if it pleases her.

I love this idea! This is exactly the concept I was trying to get across - that every action you perform, no matter how small or menial, has a sacredness to it. The divine lives in the details. Be mindful of the everyday miracles.

Thank you to all who stopped in to read and/or respond.

 

As always, late to the party, but Imma party like it's 4 ABY!

I'm not familiar with the song that WarmNyota_SweetAyesha provided you with (heck, I'm not familiar with the one I got either), but I'm - of course - familiar with Bree and the rawwwwr guy that is Blue...plus his middle name is John, tee-hee. And I'm thrilled that they made a comeback in your work. I have to agree with Chyntuck that you truly fleshed them out more than ever here. Writing a story with so little dialogue that ends up being interesting is a hard task, but you pulled it off effortlessly.

Love the concept of counting as a prayer. I can get the idea of actually numbering all the deities and seeing your fanon on Ianus is always wonderful.

50 and 100 as symbols of worship are quite curious, too. And, at the very beginning, Bree was implied to be just a number - one of many that he looked at and...then, she is the NUMBER ONE that glances back at him. This whole play of interspersed numbers is too bloody brilliant for words.

*wink-wink-nudge-nudge*

I remember how that was rushed, but they have made the right choice with consummating their relationship. The Galaxy and the Force brought them to each other, even though they were not Force-sensitives themselves. That means that there was no way it could have gone wrong.

This is where Bree becomes Blue's saviour - a goddess.

And this is where his parole is replaced with a lifelong "sentence" of being with her. What a wonderful parallel.

Counting while appreciating the little thing Bree does is sweet. After all, true happiness is found in small things.

Beautiful story. <3

DEWWIT. Read about them. You will love them!

 

Thank you! I thought these two were done yammering in my ear but they wanted another story. A lot of this is actually influenced by what you said in the epic about them, about how with his condition (addiction), becoming religious is not uncommon and in fact becomes a substitute focus of his addictive, somewhat obsessive personality. The idea of the numbers as prayers is an offshoot of the idea of daily rituals that would provide structure and routine. Then the song (which I remember from back in the day- American artist and all) kind of pulled that together for me.

Honestly, I've never written a couple that is so physically "expressive." It's a wonder they don't have 40 kids by the time their story arc finally winds down.

Thank you! I hadn't really thought of that, but he does worship her. She is the God of Second Chances made real. I was kind of playing with the scene in TGOSC (as they are lying in a bed, right before he starts unlacing her blouse -- see comment above) where he tells her that he "love" was an insufficient term for her - he appreciates her. She becomes his guiding star, and her determined belief in him makes him believe in himself. Anything he can do for her, he will.

Thank you for your reply. As always, your thoughtful and insightful comments are appreciated!