One Jedi --- A Poetic Observation --- One post only

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by CYNICAL21, Sep 6, 2002.

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  1. CYNICAL21

    CYNICAL21 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 8, 2001
    OK - here is proof positive that I have lost my mind, because, up to this point in my life, I have NEVER voluntarily submitted a work of poetry - and only poetry - for anyone to peruse.

    But I jotted this down a while back - and it just keeps coming back to haunt me.

    So here it is - and if you wish to poke fun, at least smile when you post your sarcastic comments. :D

    As will be immediately obvious, I make not a single dime for such an effort.

    Oh - and you'll note that this is a generic Jedi - no name brand. But then again, I doubt a name is needed.

    * * * * * * * * *
    One Jedi

    Amid the mundane, the prosaic, the dust-to-dust small souls,
    In the cacophony of voices lifted, screeching, blended, incomprehensible,
    There grows a stillness-perfect, timeless, bell-pure.
    When all is fragments of existence, and splinters of reality,
    Raucous in repulse of all things related,
    One simple completion rising among the shards
    Steals the breath and clouds the mind.
    Sweet, pure, a melody of unsurpassed eloquence
    Penetrates the solitary soul as shafts of sun
    Pierce the dawn-pulsed shroud of night.
    One - in and of himself - one.
    Independent of the scattering of discarded visions,
    Whole, unflinching, focused, fearless, flawless, found
    Not wanting - entire, a finished work.
    In the realm of shattered being and frantic particles,
    The man who is, is a titan among mites,
    A colossus striding through swarms of gnats.
    Here is no ephemeral, celestial music of the spheres;
    Here are trumpets exulting in sheer volume;
    Here is percussion, discounting minor counter rhythms.
    Here such poignant beauty, unexpected,
    Impossible to foresee,
    Storms the senses, and quickens the spirit
    To unprecedented, painful awareness;
    Perfection too painful to behold
    Without risk of being impaled by perception,
    And the certainty, slow to rise,
    That glimpses of the flicker of primal starburst
    Carry a cost too dear to be borne by poor mortals.
    He is philosopher and peacemaker and poet;
    Will o' the wisp, wanderer, and warrior;
    He is music and drama and sweet, slow passion - it's what he does;
    And what he is.
    Wherever he walks or speaks or pauses
    He collects eyes and hearts and spirits;
    And he proceeds, unaware of the detritus that trails him.
    The nimbus of luminescence is always with him,
    Though not always visible to eyes dimmed
    By a death of slow dissolving and the finite march of days;
    And never visible to him.
    He doesn't know, you see;
    He doesn?t stand outside himself to see.
    In a world gauging character
    By the depth of the pocket, the size of the manhood,
    Or the total of conquests and coup,
    He neither counts nor measures
    And expresses judgment only in the richness
    And depth and melodic abandon of his laughter.
    He wears his image easily,
    Unaware that it conceals as much as it reveals,
    Allowing only glimpses of the child
    Residing still within the framework of the man.
    Clad in denim and black leather,
    Or sandy linen and russet wool,
    Bright hair darkened and rank with sweat,
    Face daubed with a rorschach of oil and grease,
    Beneath a three-day growth of stubble;
    Hands plunged deep in the guts of the machine-of-the-moment,
    Body moving in sensuous cadence with the howl of dark rhythms,
    Or the crystal complexity of bright harmonies,
    Booted feet not quite keeping time,
    Wiping a dripping brow on the sleeve of a dingy shirt,
    Eyes squinted against curling smoke,
    He is quintescentially male,
    Wrapped in the scent and sensuality
    And silken whisper of flexing sinews
    And the sibilance of the pulse of blood
    Surging through veins and chambered heart.
    Of the dozens or hundreds who blindly hurry past,
    Rushing to catch the next pale wraith of life on the carousel,
    Who move unaware through the glow he generates,
    Only one - maybe two - will hesitate;
    Will note that something extraordinary has approached
    And offered a fleeting contact with a plane of existence
    Mostly reserved for Otherwho, Otherwhere, Otherwhen,
    Will bask - just for one breath -
    In a warmth sensed with a s
  2. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Apr 14, 2002
    :eek: WOW!
  3. shanobi

    shanobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Dec 11, 2001
    I agree with obi-ew - - WOW!!

    Just jotted that down,huh? :D

    That was amazing CYN, and I could not help but think of AUF.

    Man, have you got it bad for Obi-Wan :) I think there are many of us who may think and feel alot of what you just put into words--but could never do it as good as that.



  4. naw ibo

    naw ibo Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Mar 18, 1999
    Whoa CYN if that's what happens when you just jot something down, it might just prove to overload our senses if you really tried ;) . The choice of words and consistent flow of the mood are excellent.
  5. Jawas_stink

    Jawas_stink Jedi Youngling

    Sep 4, 2002
    WOW!! Prehaps you can translate that into Old English- it could be the Jedi Beowulf. I particularly liked the "rorschach of oil and grease." Now where does that leave us?
  6. jedi-jenn

    jedi-jenn Jedi Youngling

    May 30, 2002
    I've always considered your work beautifully poetic, now I see why.
    You never fail to astound me, Cyn. Your words are so eloquent and capture Obi-Wan of the "sea-change eyes" just perfectly. That is who you are talking about right, hehe, just kidding :p

    Sheesh, I wish I could just jot down something this deep and charismatic..... :eek:
  7. CYNICAL21

    CYNICAL21 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 8, 2001
    Well, all righty then. Some of you, at least, don't hate it - and, for a frustrated poet, that's entirely good enough.

    Poets, you know, are the most impractical of all dreamers - and, if you're a pragmatist, the most useless of beings.

    On the other hand, if you're not, while they will assuredly never feed the body (not even their own, for most are truly starving artists) they will most definitely - for a finite few - feed the soul.

    And, as I speak, inspiration has swooped down and struck hard - with the next freeze frame. Time, I guess, to go back to work. :D

    Thanks mucho for reading.

  8. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Dec 31, 2001
    Time to rescue this lovely bit of inspiration from the depths of obscurity
  9. Nat

    Nat Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jan 11, 2002
    :eek: :eek: :eek: How could anyone make a sarcastic comment about this wonderful poem?? Wow... You never cease to amaze me, CYN.
  10. astroanna

    astroanna Jedi Master star 4

    Jul 8, 2002
    A beautiful peice, Cyn, as always!

    Only you could write an "Ode to Obi" and really do it justice!

    Brava, Cyn, brava!

  11. Arwyn_Whitesun

    Arwyn_Whitesun Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 13, 2002
    That was truly lovely, Cyn! A hauntingly beautiful ode to a more than deserving Jedi Knight. :)
  12. CYNICAL21

    CYNICAL21 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 8, 2001
    Wow! I have to admit to being shocked. I really thought this would get a couple of posts, then sink like a stone. Poetry is NOT - as a rule - going to set the world on fire. Not to say that this is doing so, but it's still sweet to have some of you drop in to say you like it.

    Merci beaucoup, Mes Amis.

  13. Siri_Z

    Siri_Z Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jun 16, 2002

    Ummm yea that about sums it up...

    Till Later~
  14. MjR

    MjR Jedi Youngling

    Aug 28, 2002
    "Poetic enough" ;)

    That was just beautiful, CYN!
  15. TheFallen

    TheFallen Jedi Padawan star 4

    Nov 27, 2001
    :eek: Is there nothing this one can't do, people? ;)
  16. Siri_Z

    Siri_Z Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jun 16, 2002


    :D :p

    Till Later~
  17. shanobi

    shanobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Dec 11, 2001
  18. Darth_Tim

    Darth_Tim Jedi Master star 4

    Feb 26, 2002
    Well, just now getting to this....and I'm quite impressed, CYN!!

  19. CYNICAL21

    CYNICAL21 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 8, 2001
    I am definitely NOT believing this. Hell-o-o-o out there - it's a POEM, People. You're supposed to run from the room screaming when somebody tries to force you to read poetry! :D

    CYN is now doing cartwheels around the perimeter, drunk with pleasure, delighted - like Blanche Dubois - with the kindness of strangers. Of course - you guys aren't strange or - at least - not any stranger than the nutcase who wrote this. [face_mischief]

    Oh, and by way of confession, this was written, originally, as a paean to Ewan - not Obi-WAn. To adapt it, I had to eliminate a few references to the Stones and U-2 and driving rock beats and cigarettes.

    Obsessed, you say? Who - me? :eek:

    Still, I hope it fits well enough.

    Eternal thanks - you've really made my day!

  20. Darth_Tim

    Darth_Tim Jedi Master star 4

    Feb 26, 2002
    Umm, Cyn, may I remind you that I actually LIKE poetry, even write some myself :D


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