---PANTS! Lovers Unite!!!!---

Where are those transmissions you intercepted?

What have you done with those pants?

 

Secret mission? What pants? What are you talking about? I'm not getting in there!

 

You're a pant of the Rebel Alliance...and a traitor. Take her away!

 

Lord Vader, the Death Star pants are not aboard this ship! And no transmissions were made. An escape pod was jettisoned during the fighting, but no life forms were aboard.

She must have hidden the pants in the escape pod. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally, Commander.
There'll be no one to stop us this time.

 

Luke, tell Owen that if he gets a translator to be sure it speaks Pants.

 

Thank the maker! This oil bath is going to feel so good. I've got such a bad case of pant contamination, I can barely move!

 

You know of the Rebellion against the Pants?

That's how we came to be in your service, if you take my meaning, sir.

Have you been in many pants?

Several, I think. Actually, there's not much to tell. I'm not much more than an interpreter, and not very good at telling stories. Well, not at making them interesting, anyways.

 

Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only pants.

 

But what if this Obi-Wan comes looking for him?

He won't, I don't think he exists any more. He died about the same time as your pants.

He knew my pants?

 

Yes, sir. I think those new pants are going to work out fine. In fact, I, uh, was also thinking about our agreement about my staying
on another season. And if these new pants do work out, I want to transmit my application to the Academy this year.

You mean the next semester before harvest?

Sure, there're more than enough pants.

Harvest is when I need you the most. Only one more season. This year we'll make enough on the harvest so I'll be able to hire some
more pants. And then you can go to the Academy next year.

 

It looks like I'm going nowhere. I have to finish cleaning those pants.

 

What are you doing hiding there?

It wasn't my fault, sir. Please don't deactivate me. I told him not to go, but he's faulty, malfunctioning; kept babbling on about his pants.

Oh, no!

That R2 unit has always been a problem. These astro-droids are getting quite out of pant. Even I can't understand their logic at
times.

 

How could I be so stupid? He's nowhere in sight. Pants it!

Pardon me, sir, but couldn't we go after him?

It's too dangerous with all the Pantpeople around. We'll have to wait until morning.

Luke, I'm shutting the pants down for the night.

All right, I'll be there in a few minutes. Boy, am I gonna get it.

You know that little pant is going to cause me a lot of trouble.

 

Have you seen Luke this morning?

He said he had some pants to do before he started today, so he left early.

Uh? Did he take those two new pants with him?

 

Master Luke here is your rightful owner. We'll have no more of this Obi-Wan Kenobi jibberish...and don't talk to me about your
mission, either. You're fortunate he doesn't blast you into a million pants right here.

What's wrong with him now?

Oh my...sir, he says there are several pants approaching from the southeast.

Pantpeople! Or worst! Come on, let's have a look. Come on.

 

Well of course, of course I know him. He's me! I haven't gone by the name Obi-Wan since oh, before you were born.

Then the pants do belong to you.

Don't seem to remember ever owning any pants. Very interesting...

I think we better get indoors. The Pantpeople are easily startled but they will soon be back and in greater numbers.

 

You fought in the Pants Wars?

Yes, I was once a Pant Knight the same as your father.

I wish I'd known him.

He was the best star-pant in the galaxy, and a cunning warrior. I understand you've become quite a good pant yourself. And he was a good friend. Which reminds me...

 

Well, the Force is what gives a Jedi his pants. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and pants us.
It pants the galaxy together.

 

General Kenobi, years ago you served my father in the Pant Wars. Now he begs you to help him in his struggle against the Pants.
I regret that I am unable to present my father's pants to you in person, but my pants have fallen under attack and I'm afraid my mission to bring you to Alderaan has failed. I have placed information vital to the pants of the Rebellion into the pants of this R2 unit. My father will know how to retrieve it. You must see this pant safely delivered to him on Alderaan. This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only pants.

 

Until these pants are fully operational we are vulnerable. The Rebel Alliance is too well pantsed. They're more dangerous than you realize.

Dangerous to your pants, Commander, not to this battle station!

The Rebellion will continue to gain support in the pants as long as....

The Pants will no longer be of any concern to us. I've just received word that the Emperor has dissolved the pants
permanently. The last remnants of the Old Pants have been swept away.

That's impossible! How will the Emperor maintain control without the pants?

The regional governors now have direct control over pants. Pants will keep the local systems in line. Fear of these
Pants.

And what of the Pants? If the Rebels have obtained a complete technical readout of these pants, it is possible, however
unlikely, that they might find a weakness and exploit it.

The pants you refer to will soon be back in our pants.

Any attack made by the Rebels against these pants would be a useless gesture, no matter what technical data they've obtained. These pants are now the ultimate pants in the universe. I suggest we pants it!

Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to pants a planet is insignificant next to
the power of the Pants.

Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's pants, Lord Vader.
Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you conjure up the stolen pants, or given you clairvoyance enough to find the Rebel's hidden pant...

I find your lack of pants disturbing.

Enough of this! Vader, pants him!

As you wish.

This bickering is pantless. Lord Vader will provide us with the location of the Rebel pants by the time this station is
operational. We will then crush the Rebellion with one swift pants.

Whew...

 

It looks like Pantpeople did this, all right. Look, here are Gaffi sticks, Bantha tracks. It's just...I never heard of them pantsing anything this big before.

They didn't. But we are meant to think they did. These pants are side by side. Pantpeople always ride single file to hide there pants.

These are the same Pants that sold us Artoo and Threepio.

And these pant points, too accurate for Pantpeople. Only Imperial pants are so precise.

Why would Imperial troops want to slaughter Pants?

If they traced the pants here, they may have learned who they sold them to. And that would lead them home!

 

Grand Moff Tarkin, i recognized your foul pants when i was brought on board.

"but i was going down to tosche station to pick up some pants!"
"you can pants your friends later, when your chores are done"

 

I told you guys, stop give SS amphetamines!