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Beyond - Legends Party Girl (Legacy Origin challenge) Complete - Author's thanks!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Jedi Trace, Jun 30, 2008.

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  1. Jedi Trace

    Jedi Trace SouthEast RSA star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 1999
    Title: Party Girl
    Author: Jedi Trace
    Timeframe: Legacy comics, pre-Broken
    Characters: Deliah Blue, OCs, Cade Skywalker, Jariah Syn
    Genre: Drama
    Keywords: short story, Legacy, Deliah Blue
    Summary: Canon speculation of how a ?party girl? joined the bounty-hunting crew of the Mynock as the chief mechanic. (I took some liberty with the interpretation. ;))
    Notes: Written for the [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/27559008/p1/?335]Legacy Challenge #2[/link] - "Origin stories:" Write a fic centered around an established part of Legacy canon whose existence has not been fully explained, and tell us how it got here.



    A/N: Special thanks to RebelGrrl for the idea about Deliah?s surname. :cool:

    Ginormous thanks and chocolates to Gabri_Jade for beta?ing and for keeping me honest about finishing the story before posting. [:D]

    And finally - many, many thanks to TNPredsFan for the beautiful cover art. @};-


    [image=http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c228/jadedskies/PartyGirlcover.png]




    Part 1

    The large storefront sign flashed dull orange, sizzling as if it would sputter out any minute with the fading daylight: Jaxan's Fixer Shop. Or, that?s what it was supposed to say. Some of the letters were missing, so it actually read: Ja an's Fix S op. I looked down at the coordinates on my datapad. This was the right place. I wasn?t sure what I'd been expecting, but this run-down shop tucked into a seedy cove on the upper level of Coruscant's undercity wasn't what I'd had in mind - not for the man who was supposed to be the best fixer in the Core.

    It wasn't quite far enough down to be in Vongspawn territory, but the various sets of eyes peeking around corners in my direction were nothing friendly. The streets were cluttered with litter and piles of junk in various colors and textures that I probably shouldn't look at too close. And it smelled.

    A tattered figure of some hunched-over species peeled away from the shadow of a nearby tapcafe and started staggering toward me. I rang the bell on Jaxan's darkened door.

    Nothing happened. I tried the door handle. Locked. Must be after business hours. By the time I rang the bell again, Ratty Man was getting closer. I hoped Jaxan would answer the door soon because I'd hate to have to shoot someone my first day in this system.

    Locks scraped open and a hard-faced man appeared in the doorway. He was tall and thin and sized me up with a single glance while wiping his hands on a greasy rag. "You Dezi's girl?"

    "Yeah," I answered. ?Are you Jaxan??

    "Uh-huh." It was a grunt more than a word and he motioned me inside with a nod of his head.

    The inside wasn't much more to look at than the outside. A desk, few chairs, work counter and table, all worn-looking with badly painted attempts to cover blaster marks. Jaxan kept walking and I followed him past a window overlooking a huge garage into a room that was considerably more lived-in. He didn't tell me to sit, so I just stood there holding my travel cases. There was a lounger against one wall and a comm station on the other. At the far end, was a small food prep area and table only big enough for one or maybe two people to sit.

    Jaxan was looking at me. Scowling, more like it. "Your dad was the finest apprentice I ever had," he said in flat, disapproving tone. I didn't know what to say, so I nodded. My dad, Dezi, had told me all about Jaxan. "Your dad says you're better than him," he continued. "I'm takin' his word for it. An old man like me has no business taking on a new apprentice."

    I had to say something now. "I work hard. And I learn fast."

    His expression didn't change, but I felt his frown. "Who is your Ma?"

    Guess Dad wouldn't have had any reason to tell him that. "Tilly," I said.

    "I remember her. Nice lady." He looked m
     
  2. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Put me on the PM list for this one please! :D

    LOVE it! =D=
     
  3. Jade_Pilot

    Jade_Pilot Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2005
    Traaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace!!! This is so good already!!! Love the voice you've given our gal. ;) I'm in and can't wait for more!!

    Bravo! =D=
     
  4. Lady Belligerent

    Lady Belligerent • WNU Adoptions Coordinator• star 7 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Jan 29, 2008
    Wow! This is a fun start and I love how you are filling in the blanks for Deliah!=D=
    She is a great character and deserves some quality page time. I'll be watching for your updates.
     
  5. divapilot

    divapilot Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2005
    I loved the smell of oil and grease and the way the machines clicked together. Every broken engine was a new puzzle to be fixed. The vibration of a newly-working engine was a thrill under the fingertips.

    Wow -- I love how I can see exactly what is happening - and feel it and smell it too. This is wonderful!

    i'm looking forward to finding out more about Deliah. This is going to be a great trip.

    Please sign me up for PMs!

    =D==D=
     
  6. karebear214

    karebear214 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 7, 2002
    Bravo!

    I am intrigued by this.
     
  7. RebelGrrl

    RebelGrrl Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 13, 2006
    Yay! You posted it!

    I'm waiting eagerly for more. I think you've captured a good idea of Young Deliah here. If you're going to do a PM list, add me, please!

    Now, just add a hoojib cameo or two... :p
     
  8. Hananiah

    Hananiah Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 15, 2003
    A really lovely introspection into Deliah and here beginings can't wait for more.
     
  9. TNPredsFan

    TNPredsFan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 10, 2004
    You're very welcome. I'm glad you liked it. [:D]

    Onto the story....I loved the unbetaed version I read, so I can't wait to read the finished product. :D Part I is off to a great start.
     
  10. Jedi Trace

    Jedi Trace SouthEast RSA star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 1999
    VaderLVR: Thank you! Will do. :D

    Jade_Pilot: [face_blush] Aww, thanks! She was a lot of fun to 'voice.' I hope you enjoy. [:D]

    Jag4Me: Thank you! :D Deliah was one of the first characters who caught my attention when I started reading Legacy and she's probably my favorite female in the cast. ('cept for Morrigan - but that's complicated, LOL.)

    diva: *blushes* Thank you so much, my friend! [:D] I appreciate that and I do hope it's an interesting ride. *crosses fingers* I'll add you to the list.

    karebear: Thank you!! :D

    RebelGrrl: Thankies!! :D *whew!* That means a lot coming from the expert on Zeltrons. ;) I'll add you to the list. And I sooooooo wanted a Hoojib in this, but just couldn't make it work. Maybe next time. [face_mischief]

    Hananiah: Thank you very much! @};-

    TNPredsFan: I lubs it! [face_love] And I still cannot believe you managed to give her "natural" colored Zeltron hair. You rock, gal!! =D= (The beta'd version has much better grammarz and little dots in all the right places. [face_blush])




     
  11. THE_PIED_PIPER

    THE_PIED_PIPER Chapter Rep Knoxville, TN star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2006
    This looks great Trace. ;) I'll be back with a review.
     
  12. ginchy

    ginchy Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 25, 2005
    ooh, you must have finished! Congrats!! =D=

    I still haven't read these comics, but I wanted to say I was so proud of you for finishing before posting. Something I still need to learn!!

    Anything you write is terrific, gal. [:D]
     
  13. princess_of_naboo

    princess_of_naboo Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 9, 2000
    Please add me to the PM!
     
  14. furrylittlebantha

    furrylittlebantha Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 2, 2005
    Love it, love it. My only exposure to the Legacy characters are through you, and I'm fascinated by the storylines and situations you so skillfully develop. Sign me up for PMs!
     
  15. Myriad_Daydreams

    Myriad_Daydreams Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 22, 2007
    I know her through the first couple issues, and I love anything you write. Sign me up for PMs :D
     
  16. Gabri_Jade

    Gabri_Jade VIP star 5 VIP

    Registered:
    Nov 9, 2002
    Mmm, chocolates. [face_love]

    I love this story, Traci. I think you got Deliah's voice exactly right, the OCs and settings are totally believable, and Deliah's background feels so authentic that it could be canon. The story itself is beautifully well crafted. Wonderful to see more Legacy fic; all the more so when it's as good as this. :D
     
  17. THE_PIED_PIPER

    THE_PIED_PIPER Chapter Rep Knoxville, TN star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2006
    I'm back. :)

    Great insite into Deliah and her origins. Since she was introduced in Legacy 0, I've wanted to know more about Zeltrons and their planet.

    I think it's great that she is apprenticing herself to her father's old master as a mechanic. Nice to see that dynamic with someone who isn't a Force user. :D

    And his attitude towards taking an apprentice at his age especially a female is intrigueing and I can't wait to see how it plays out.

    And nice description about a half-human and half-Zeltron mix on biologics.

    I had wondered about that. :p

    I guess it would make for a nice natural suntan.


    Great work!

    Piper :)
     
  18. Jedi Trace

    Jedi Trace SouthEast RSA star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 1999
    ginchy: Thank you, gal! You?re too sweet! [:D] (And I hear ya on the finishing first thing. I'm glad this one was short. I'm not sure I could manage a long fic, LOL.)

    princess_of_naboo: Will do! :D

    furrylittlebantha: Aw, thank you! [face_blush] I feel like I barely do these characters justice compared to the awesomeness that is Legacy comics, and I appreciate such a compliment very much.

    Myriad_Daydreams: Thank you, chica! I?ll add you to the list. :D

    Gabri: [face_blush] Thank you soooo much for the kind words. [:D] I always feel like my OCs are lacking, so it?s a thrill to hear that they?re believable and that this invention of Dee?s story rings authentic. *whew!* More thanks for the speedy/helpful beta! Here ? I made you brownies:

    [image=http://piesandbass.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/brownies1.jpg]

    [face_batting]



    THE_PIED_PIPER
    : Thank you very much! :D I?m right there with you in wanting to know much more about Deliah ? especially how a girl described as the partying type ended up being an uber-talented mechanic on the Mynock. [face_thinking] Jaxan was fun to create ? I?m glad you?re enjoying him.

    And nice description about a half-human and half-Zeltron mix on biologics.

    Ah, you caught me. [face_blush] I have no idea if Humans and Zeltrons can have offspring or not, but diehard Cade/Deliah shipper than I am, I just had to play around with the idea. (Not that I actually expect to ever see a pink-skinned, blond-haired, green-eyed, pheromone-secreting, Force-wielding Skywalker?but a fangirl can hope, right? ;) )




     
  19. Jedi Trace

    Jedi Trace SouthEast RSA star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 1999


    Part 2


    Jaxan and I got off to a rocky start. The next morning, I?d no sooner walked into the garage when Jaxan pointed a greasy wrench at me. ?You can?t dress like that here.?

    Dress like what? I was wearing what I always wore: pants, short top with detached sleeves, belt, boots?

    Jaxan slid out from under the belly of a transmission and stood in front of me. ?Remember what I said about the clients that come in here? You aren?t on Zeltros, girl. You can?t have your?? He waved his hand vaguely at my chest, stumbling for the right words. ?Your?breasts?hanging out like that.?

    I looked down. Were they? Sure, there was cleavage showing, but the important parts were covered. ?This is the only kind of clothes I have.?

    And they were perfectly respectable, thank you. I propped my hands on my hips to say so when Jaxan rolled his eyes and plucked a fasten-up jacket from a hook on the wall. ?Cover up, then. At least while you?re working.?

    I put the jacket on but he needn?t have worried. He didn?t let me interact with the clients. At all. I saw them look in my direction, sure, but Jaxan always found something for me to work on in the back while he conducted business.

    ?You don?t have to coddle me, you know,? I said one day, irritated by his over-protectiveness.

    He just looked at me. ?If you think that, then you?ve never seen your dad get angry.?

    Turns out, he just didn?t want them coming after me if I kriffed up the job.

    He was a good teacher. Patient and smart. I could see some of my dad in him. Or did I see him in my dad? Either way, he was easy to work with and I followed him around, awed like some dumb-struck kitling over the magic he could work with his hands and tools.

    After the first week, we fell into something of a routine. Work, meals, chores around the shop. And we talked. He already knew my family, but I found out that he was a widower. His wife had died years ago in a speeder accident. As far as I could tell, he wasn?t seeing anyone and had been mostly alone until I?d come to live with him.

    I?d been there a month before he finally let me accept a work order and he hovered over my shoulder the whole time. The customer was a male Ryn named Karson. He was a little rough around the edges, with frayed clothes and an impressive scar on his cheek, but he was nice enough.

    He brought in a small freighter with a blown field generator. Said he?d done it trying to escape Black Sun, but I?d learned from Jaxan that we didn?t care how the ships got slagged, as long as the owners paid for the repairs. Jaxan warned me that clients would give all kinds of sob stories about how they?d been persecuted and needed a discount to get their ship fixed so they could go feed the homeless with their tricked-out illegal weapons systems and sawed-off blasters. Right.

    Karson sat on a bench in the garage and watched me work. Jaxan didn?t normally allow that kind of thing, but Karson had marched right in like he owned the place. ?You must be new,? he said to my feet sticking out from under his ship.

    I didn?t bother to slide out, so I answered the hydraulic piston over my head. ?Yep.?

    ?Glad to see the old man have some company.?

    I poked my head out that time, scooting my goggles down on my nose. ?Jaxan? You know him??

    ?Oh, yeah,? he said with a grin. ?I been coming here for years. Jaxan?s always taken good care of me.?

    As if on cue, Jaxan appeared. ?If you?re gonna hang around, Karson, at least make yourself useful and get us some caf. I gotta teach Deliah here how to fix this temperamental murglak of a ship of yours.?

    Jaxan slid under the ship with me, bringing his favorite hydrospanner. ?Decent fellow, Karson,? he said. ?Don?t know who taught him how to fly, though. He brings this ship in every three months with something new busted. Hand me the torch gun.?

    ?Sounds like he?s in the wrong profession.? I held up a length of soldering wire while Jaxan ignited the torch gun and fused a piece of ruptured hull.

    ?He?s a Ryn,?
     
  20. princess_of_naboo

    princess_of_naboo Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 9, 2000
    Such an amazing story. I can hardly wait for more.
     
  21. karebear214

    karebear214 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 7, 2002
    Wow.

    Love how you keep on letting us see more and more of these characters in a very believable way. Nicely done.

    And the "hormone thing"... too funny.


     
  22. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    ?So.? Jaxan glanced over at me. ?That hormone thing. How does it work??

    ?Pheromones,? I corrected him. ?What do you mean, ?how does it work?? You didn?t figure it out while you were there?? I shot him a sideways teasing grin.

    He blushed. Or, I think he blushed. Hard to say with a Ryn, but he?d be a rare one to have visited my home planet and not have figured out the allure of the place. ?I mean,? he waved his hand, trying to choose words. ?Can you control it? The way people feel around you and all.?

    Weird question. I thought about it for a minute. ?It?s not like Jedi and those mind tricks, no.?


    Hilarious! [face_laugh] LOVING this story! ;)

    =D=
     
  23. Golden_Jedi

    Golden_Jedi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 10, 2005
    Wonderful story! So vivid! Put me on the PM list, please? :)
     
  24. Lady Belligerent

    Lady Belligerent • WNU Adoptions Coordinator• star 7 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Jan 29, 2008
    =D=You paint the scenes so well! Great update!
     
  25. divapilot

    divapilot Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2005
    Fantastic, girl!

    So they went to a GFFA coyote bar, huh? [face_laugh]

    And you had me going there with Jaxan. Nicely done, with some subtle moments there that I really liked. Looking forward to more!

    =D==D=
     
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