Census Pineapple On Pizza

And here the argument shifts from a vigorous authoritarian demand that no pizza toppings differ from those approved of by the reactionary element to an assertion that the opposition is ineffectual and yet also simultaneously nakedly totalitarian and thuggish. This is of course the central hypocrisy underlying fascistic rhetoric and is the key lever by which it seeks to justify its regressive policies.

In fact, this thread requires no pizza at all, because it is gorging itself on detritus from the trash can that is ideology. *Sniff*

 

I am going to put pineapple on the next pizza I make in honor of this thread. Sorry, JoinTheSchwarz!

 

Don't tell VLM.

 

C'mon, man. There are some things that just can't be tolerated. Like the big-endians of Blefuscu. What the hell are they doing breaking the fat end of their boiled eggs? Monstrously uncivilised. Lilleput's wars against these knowlessmen were more than justified.

Same thing with pineapple on pizza. It's the kind of wrongheadedness that can only be solved by wall building, travel restrictions, violence and - when right-minded folk have sufficient control - zyklon B.

 

Lord Vivec can tell you all about how NASA are developing WARP DRIVES.

I'd never heard of it then saw the words that shouldn't be "the great South Australian pie floater."

Which explains it all. It can either be South Australian, or it can be great.

Regardless of whatever that awfulness is, pineapple on pizza is a sin and it turns out you're bad people for enjoying it.

 

I'd support warp drives to get us away from pineapple pizzas

 

NASA is totally designing one, and it totally does not contradict relativity. Plus it's pretty easy to accelerate to that speed.

You could enjoy maybe a slice of pineapple pizza, maybe a bite of a second, before you hit top speed.

 

And this is the final damning inditement of the anti-pineapple hardliners: a total willingness to compromise previously held ideals for the sake of ostracizing the outgroup. This should of course remind us of the tendency of so-called forward thinking democratic societies to prop up regressive totalitarian regimes for the sake of ensuring continued or nebulously improved financial stability. Ironically given the origins of the "paradise fruit" it is therefore opposition to pineapples that has aligned itself with oppressive colonialist interests.

 

pineapple pizzaaaaa

 

But little do you know that the warp drive technology requires the blending of pineapples together with pizza dough. Only such an unnatural combination of ingredients has the ability to bend the fabric of space-time to where a ship is able to travel faster than the speed of light. Thus, the pineapple pizza will follow you to the stars.

 

he who controls the pineapple controls the universe

 

they come from a backwards country so they have no excuse. You are from a proper civilised state with culture and the like. Why are you shaming your Nordic ancestors this way?

 

have you been to norway? it's only okay. pineapple pizza kicks it up a few notches tho.

 

the existence of pineapple pizza is regressive in and of itself.

 

Yeah...like they ran out of ideas.

Has anyone tried cheeseburger pizza? Yuck! Why have pizza if it's going to taste like yucky hamburger helper?

 

Apostate! Norwegians discovered Iceland, the home of the pineapple pizza hating president. Harald Fairhair would be most unhappy.

 

are presidents consistently right in their opinions? i dunno, we don't have a president, but i'm sure an american can answer me

 

The wrongness of pineapple on pizza is more natural law than politics.

Iceland simply happens to get pretty much everything right.

 

Look we retired these in 2009, otherwise I'll start posting this again.

 

Ahahahaha, she got you there.

 

Aww yeah, that's the stuff.

 

Clone Trooper for scale.

 

I feel compelled to counter this Marxist rubbish with some solid, successful liberalism:

"Over himself, over his own body and mind, but not his pizza, the individual is sovereign"