Daughter of Destiny can be found at
http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=4880401

Star Wars: Daughter of Destiny was my drastic rewrite of TPM, originally intended as a stand alone project, but I am now considering continuing the tale in an AU Episode Two script.

Below, I've posted a short but detailed synopsis of DOD, for those who haven't read the script yet, in order to provide basic information needed to understand the sequel, and a rough outline of my plans for the second work.

While I am planning on using some character names from AOTC, much in the same way I used TPM character names in DOD, I am doing my best to remain spoiler-free.

Any feedback or suggestions would be appreciated.

 

Essential timeline of STAR WARS: DAUGHTER OF DESTINY ((warning: spoilers))

More than 20 years ago: The prophesies of the Daughter of Destiny and the Son of the Suns and Sky foretell dark times for the galaxy. The Gungan race is defeated, enslaved, and scattered across the galaxy. Slavery is eventually abolished, but too late to save the Gungans from being virtually wiped out. The Sith go into hiding following their latest defeat at the hands of the Jedi.

20 years ago: Anakin Skywalker is born on Tatooine. Anakin's mother dies shortly thereafter.

19 years ago: Amidala, the prophesied Daughter of Destiny, is born.

17 years ago: Amidala's mother Destiny dies.

10 years ago: The first of Clone Wars breaks out in the Outer Rim.

5 years ago: Prince Bail Organa, Viceroy of Alderaan, fights alongside Jedi Knight Obiwan Kenobi in yet another Clone War.

A year ago: Amidala is engaged to marry Bail. The Gungan escapes from Jabba the Hutt's palace.

Recently: Panaka buys the Millenium Falcon, R2-D2, and C-3PO from Montross. Queen Breha dies, leaving her granddaughter Amidala Queen of Alderaan. Plans for Amidala and Bail's marriages continue. The Sith set in motion their plot to capture the Daughter of Destiny. The Jedi Council dispatches Obiwan to foil the Sith's plan.

Now: Breha's funeral is held. Bail is contacted by Chancellor Palpatine and offered a role in the conspiracy to overthrow the Galactic Republic. The Trader Guild Star Destroyer Mercantile, with Darth Maul aboard, unleashes a mandalorian army on Alderaan while trying to capture Amidala. Obiwan, having barely beaten the Guild to Alderaan, manages to escape Theed Palace with Amidala. Bail is captured and cloned by the Clone Army. Darth Maul dispatches Plo Ko'on and Aurra Sing to capture Amidala. Amidala and Obiwan are forced to land on Tatooine for repairs, where they meet the Gungan and Anakin Skywalker. Anakin and Amidala together win Jabba's Boonta Eve Skyhopper race, then after saving the Gungan from Jabba, Amidala coerces Jabba's smugglers to help her liberate Alderaan. After battling Plo and Aurra and escaping a trap laid by the Trader Guild using Bail's clone, Anakin and Obiwan rescue Bail and destroy the Guild's cloning facility while Amidala and Panaka defeat the Guild Star Destroyer. Darth Maul reports his defeat to Palpatine, secretly mastermind of the Sith. Having freed Alderaan, Anakin starts training to be a Jedi under Obiwan's tutelage while Amidala and Bail finally marry.

 

The planned title for the sequel is Star Wars: A Knight Falls. The tentative opening crawl is as follows:

STAR WARS - EPISODE TWO - A KNIGHT FALLS
It is a time of change in the galaxy. Palpatine, chancellor of the Republic and secret leader of the dreaded Sith order, has declared himself Emperor, with an army of loyal Imperial Stormtroopers raised in secret to enforce his will.

Bail Organa, noble viceroy of ALDERAAN, leads the opposition to Palpatine's New Order, with the support of the Jedi Knights, the galaxy's ever-vigilant protectors and sworn enemies of the Sith.

The Sith are preparing an assault on the Jedi Temple in order to capture Bail's wife, Queen Amidala, the elusive DAUGHTER OF DESTINY, which, if successful, could spell doom for the Jedi and the galaxy...

Your thoughts would be appreciated.

 

Returning characters:
Anakin Skywalker, now training to be a Jedi, the central character of this film, much more screentime
Queen Amidala, now preparing for her destiny under the Jedi Council, still very important but no longer the main character
Obiwan Kenobi, now training Anakin, still very important, only slightly less screentime
Bail Organa, now fighting Palpatine's New Order, still important supporting character, more screentime
Panaka, still a thief, still a supporting character but with a bit more screentime
Qui-Gon Jinn, now spying on the villains, will play a much, much bigger role
The Gungan, still protecting Amidala, slightly less screentime, plays a big part in the climax
Artoo-Deetoo, still belongs to Panaka, still a bystander to important action
See-Threepio, still belongs to Panaka, still a bystander to important action
Mace Windu, now preparing Amidala, slightly more screentime, with one very important scene
Opporarcis, now preparing Amidala, still a fairly minor role but will get a bit more screentime
Ki-Adi Mundi, now preparing Amidala, still a fairly minor role but will get a bit more screentime
Gasgano, still flying the Pedrovia, still a minor recurring supporting character, the Wedge of the prequel series
Darth Maul, still trying to get Amidala, more screentime and a fleshed out backstory as well as several fights
Palpatine, now Emperor of the New Order, part twenty times bigger in this one, the main villain this time around

 

Here's the extremely rough outline for the beginning act (roughly 1/5th) of the film.

ACT ONE
Scene One
SITH TEMPLE (possibly Byss, seen in Obiwan's vision in D.O.D)
-Darth Maul assembles the Sith army for an assault on the Jedi Temple.
-The Sith discover that Qui-Gon Jinn and his (as-yet-unnamed) apprentice are spying on them. The Sith manage to capture the apprentice while Qui-Gon barely escapes the Temple.
-His ship damaged, Qui-Gon tries desperately to reach the Jedi Temple in time to warn them.

Scene Two
SENATE CHAMBERS (Coruscant, left out of D.O.D)
-Bail Organa leads the debate against Palpatine's new empire.
-An alien (Mon Calamari or Wookie?) senator, protesting his race's enslavement by the Empire, is shot by the patrolling Stormtroopers.
-Bail leaves the assembly frustrated and frightened, and is flown in the Millenium Falcon by Panaka and the droids to meet with Amidala at the Jedi Temple.

Scene Three
JEDI TEMPLE (on Coruscant)
-Anakin and Obiwan return from a mission and continue Anakin's training. Anakin bemoans his loneliness.
-Amidala finishes meeting with the Jedi Council, who are concerned with the Daughter of Destiny prophesy.
-Amidala and Bail meet back up and plan to return to Alderaan.
-Qui-Gon arrives with news of the coming Sith attack.
-The Sith suddenly attack the Jedi Temple. Obiwan, Anakin, and Qui-Gon are on the frontlines as the Jedi engage the Sith in mass combat. Many Jedi die.
-Obiwan, Qui-Gon, and Anakin try to evacuate the Jedi Council and Amidala.
-Opporarcis and Ki-Adi Mundi are escaping when the Sith shoot down their ship.
-Amidala and Anakin flee in starfighters, carrying the Gungan and the droids with them while Obiwan, Qui-Gon, Bail, and Panaka escape aboard the Millenium Falcon.
-Mace Windu stays behind and, though he dies in the process, convinces Darth Maul that Amidala is aboard the Millenium Falcon.
-Darth Maul personally pursues the Millenium Falcon while Amidala and Anakin sneak away.

From here on out, it gets fuzzy, except for the end, which I've already got planned. Feedback on what I've got so far woud be appreciated.

**Major details from this part of the outline are no longer valid**

 

Aaaah Steven, thanks for leading me here.

You're so nice. All those informations are helpful. Location is all!

Denny

 

By the end of A Knight Falls, Anakin will have turned to the Dark Side. As I hinted to in my Author's Notes for DOD, his fall will echo that of Uther in the Pendragon legends. Anakin will sacrifice all for love/lust of another man's wife. As Anakin and Amidala flee the Sith, Anakin becomes obsessed with Amidala. She is everything he thinks he wants, and everything he does not have. They are eventually captured (dogged by TIE fighters then caught by an ambitious Imperial agent) and brought to the Sith Temple, where Anakin meets Palpatine. MOst of Anakin's fall will be related during the third and fourth acts. Palpatine takes over the role of Merlin from Obiwan here, if we're still following the Uther analogy. Palpatine gives Anakin what he wants. First, Palpatine will reveal the truth behind Anakin's mother and Obiwan's connection to her. This will drive the first wedge; Anakin will no longer trust his mentor. Second, Palpatine will force Anakin to tap into his darker emotions, forcing a battle to the death between Anakin and Qui-Gon's captured apprentice during which Anakin will tap his proclivity with the Dark Side. Lastly, Palpatin will give Anakin his heart's desire: Amidala. Using the power of the Dark Side, Anakin decieves Amidala and consummates his lust for her. And thus Anakin is sent into the downward spiral that will ultimately create Darth Vader.

 

The first two acts must succeed in showing the good in Anakin. We must see the spark that doesn't go out, that Luke sees in ROTJ. Perhaps his genuine love for Amidala that ultimately justs gets twisted, perhaps his giving, self-sacrificing nature, perhaps his unswerving bravery. There must be a redemptive factor, otherwise the OT doesn't work. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

 

I'd really like to see Palpster in action! Deceiving Anakin, making him see everything in twisted forms. You got me there.

The Anakin/Amidala thing is quite delicate. GL gives us one of the only movies on earth where PG is actually PG. Now all I think is that we authors must be careful while dealing with "lust" as you put it. Fanfiction gives you entire liberty, if you want to keep the spirits of SW or not, is up to you.

It's cool that you want to creat connections with the OT, I do that all the time too, you have my entire support there.

Denny

 

Well, I call it lust rather than love because what Anakin's doing is coveting what Bail has. And since Anakin's unable to earn it, he takes it. That can't be real love, not in my mind at least.

I planned on keeping it as PG as possible, along the lines of what they did with similar themes in KRULL and LEGEND. Anything "taboo" happens offscreen and is never blatantly said.

In my mind, it unfolds that Anakin, once convinced of Palpatine's power to give him Amidala, is illusionarily disguised as Bail then thrown back into Amidala's cell. Anakin convinces Amidala that he ("Bail") has been captured. Amidala comforts Bail, who is seemingly wounded. Anakin, as Bail, coaxes a kiss from her. Wipe away before anything else happens.

When Bail and Obiwan are really captured and brought to the Sith Temple, Amidala realizes what has happened but says nothing.

What has happened? We learn in Episode Three with the bombshell that Amidala is pregnant, and it's not Bail's.

 

"And since Anakin's unable to earn it, he takes it. That can't be real love, not in my mind at least."

Roger.

Okay, LEGEND is a good example, I see where you're going now.

Wipe out the kiss works... I hope they wipe out the kiss on the movie too.

Okay, I'm loving your ideas so far! Keep'em coming!

Denise

 

Glad you like where I'm going with this,Denise. I agree with your comments on Lucas' films being PG. They're that way for a reason: so they are universally accessible. Had the OT been PG-13 (had that rating been around then), so many of us would not have been able to see it. I remember seeing ROTJ in theatres quite clearly, being all of five when it came out in '82, and have vague memories of seeing TESB during its extended run about the same time. (Funny sidenote: I throughout childhood had vivid memories of the first films I ever saw, FLASH GORDON and POPEYE, when I was one year old. Guess that goes to show you where my influences are from )
I guess where my disappointment in TPM comes from is it doesn't feel nearly an universally accessible as the OT. Part felt too childish, others too intellectual. I can only hope that these fanfiction scrpts retain some of the Star Wars spirit; I was afraid some of the violence in DOD (particularly the Bail/Padme clone vs Gungan battle) might have been too much for a PG, and I have to be careful with the next two to continue to tastefully toe the line.

Now, back to the planning:

I'm hoping Bail, on the run with Obiwan, will finally get a chance to shine: hopefully, as he won't be stuck in a cell most the time. We'll see that he is a great warrior, a great leader, and quite the hero in his own right. He's also the crux in an important subplot involving a pair of Alderaani noble siblings, Jamillia and Dooku, whom Bail and Obiwan run into while Maul pursues them. ((Again note that while these are character names from AOTC, they have nothing to do with their counterparts)). Jamillia would continue to be an important character in Episode Three, playing an important role in the fate of the Skywalker/Naberrie children.

 

You know, I do have memories of been a child watching Star Wars, but on VCR... or was it common TV? I don't think I had a VCR on 1980's, probably not, but I think they did exist already, don't know. Anyways, my most vivid memory of the films was C3-PO and R2. Don't know why. I knew there was this boy named Luke and that the black helmet guy was his father, and there was the wookie, a princess and a pilot, but all could actually recall was the droids.

when I came to see myself as a person, human being and living in this huge ball called earth and I watched the movies again, I could understand and love the whole story, either way, I kept on loving the droids.


"I guess where my disappointment in TPM comes from is it doesn't feel nearly an universally accessible as the OT. Part felt too childish, others too intellectual."

MMMMMM... tottaly see your point here! One of my favorites things on the movie was Shmi Skywalker, I guess it was because she was so human and so kind, while everyone else was so rational, Queen Amidala and the Jedi. She was loving character that was what made it SW for me in a way. So I do see your point and agree. Let's hope in EPII the "Master & Apprentice" thing resembles a little of "Luke & Ben".





"I was afraid some of the violence in DOD (particularly the Bail/Padme clone vs Gungan battle) might have been too much for a PG, and I have to be careful with the next two to continue to tastefully toe the line."

Don't worry about it. Consider all the people handicapped on the Old Star Wars,



Denise

 

Before I really nail down the specifics of the mid-sections of the story, I have to lock down which draft of Daughter of Destiny I'm sticking with. Confused? Well, there is an alternate draft of DOD, unposted as of yet, which has altered roles for the droids and Panaka, all of whom return in AKF. I need to be sure about them before I put anything in stone, so to speak.

 

One of my critics said after reading DOD that he didn't like Anakin: I think "he's an a-hole" was the exact comment. Have I made the character unlikeable? I wanted to capture some of that Han Solo roguish charm with the character, a dark horse hero. Likeable, but with a dark side. I wanted the seeds of Anakin's downfall to be visible; he's a fallible, human character, not a perfect, innocent little boy. I want the fall from grace in AKF to be believable; he has to be close enough to the dark side to be pushed over the edge. But in changing the character, have I made him unlikeable? Let me know, because that's not my intention.

 

I think the Sith assault on the Jedi temple will have parallels to the Empire attack on Hoth in TESB, and will fill the landbattle gap I left by removing the Gungan/Droid battle from Episode One. It should be great, though, seeing hundreds of red-armored Sith (always wanted to see the Royal Guards in action) in close-quarters combat with Jedi. Mass lightblade (lightsaber, lightlance, etc.) combat. PLus some cool Sith vehicles to complement the Sith Infiltrators, as well as the Jedi escape craft and (perhaps) starfighters to combat the Infiltrators.

 

I'm trying hard for some new/different ideas for the two major chases that will take place in the script. The first, with Darth Maul pursuing the Millenium Falcon, is the one I've thought the most about and had the most trouble with. How to make it different from the other chases we've seen in Star Wars? How to not be a copy of what was done in TESB? I know where the chase ends (or at least, where I plan for it to end: Corellia), but I have to figure out how to get them there. The other chase is less polished and even more important: the escape at the climax. The heroes have to escape, in the Falcon and one starfighter, pursued by Anakin and the Sith. The starfighter has to be disabled and recaptured. I need a cool setting/ situation to make this really work. The asteroid field worked so well in TESB: what can I do that is just as cool but not a carbon copy?

 

The history of the Jedi Knights will play a huge role in A KNIGHT FALLS, particularly the recent history pertaining to the Sith. A major schism developed amongst the Jedi twenty/twenty five years ago. Civil war broke out amongst factions, as many Jedi went to the Dark Side and joined the ancient Sith sect, who were themselves originally Jedi. Much like the biblical War for Heaven, the lines were drawn and ultimately, good triumphed over evil. The Sith order was broken, most of the acolytes destroyed. The traitorous Jedi were executed rather than let their evil continue to spread. Only a select few Jedi took no sides in the war. Some were simply pacifists, opposed to fighting or philosophically torn on tyeh conflict. Others had been tempted by the Dark Side and were swayed but ultimately chose not to fall. Others still had remained unattached in order to ride out the conflict and see who won, and would pick their sides then. For those that did not fight, perhaps the punishment was even more severe than for those that became Sith: exiled to the farthest reaches of the galaxy, where they might redeem themselves or spend the rest of their lives.

One of those banished went quietly, to spend the rest of his days in quiet contemplation. Another directly opposed the Jedi's will, and started following his own path, which he'd in fact been doing all along. And another, broken and ruined, was escorted away with all she had left by one of her closest friends.

 

yeah that works beautifully!

 

Well, I've finally broken down and posted the alternate draft of Daughter of Destiny. Many of the changes are for the better, I think. Others, maybe not so much.

Chief among them:
New opening involving Senate, featuring Palpatine and Bail

Revamped opening act, interspersing dialogue and repacing action

New scene hinting at Palpatine's involvement with Darth Maul

Deletion of Fourteen, increased roles of Artoo and Threepio

ALtered characterization of Panaka

The alternate draft can be found here @ http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=5140330

 

yeah, I accidentaly dropped on it!

 

Been taking the holidays (as a university employee, we have to take ioff when the students do ) to work on my plans for AKF (hate how that looks; maybe a new title is in order after all).

Firstly, I'm leaning towards making the alternate draft of DOD the "official" version. That's not definite until I get some more feedback from those that have read both, but I'm leaning towards it right now.

Secondly, I'm rethinking how much has happened offscreen between DOD and AKF (ecch, that looks like a firearm or something). Having Palpatine rise to Emperor between stories just seems sort of...anticlimatic, sort of like cheating. It goes back to that old film dictum of showing, not telling.

So here's what I'm thinking right now:

Since DOD, Palpatine and Darth Maul have being laying the groundwork for taking over the galaxy, as promised at the end of DOD. They now have two armies at their command, as the alternate version of their conversion in Version 1.1 hints at (if you haven't gotten that far in the alternate draft, sorry for spoiling this, but then again, I warned you ).

Palpatine has secretly converted the Trader Guild's Mandalorians into his legions of Stormtroopers, no longer run by the Lobots: while now harder to coordinate, they can no longer be crippled simply by knocking out the mother ship.

THE FILM OPENS in space, at the huge sprawl that is the KUAT SHIPYARDS ( a nod to the EU) where Palpatine's allies are hard at work building Palpatine's fleet. The first of them have just been completed: the first IMPERIAL-CLASS STAR DESTROYER, the likes and scope of which the galaxy has never seen. The STAR DESTROYER (which I need a name for. any suggestions?) is captained by TYPHO (Captain or Commander, I'm not sure yet), a resourceful opportunist in league with Palpatine.

*TYPHO is going to be one of the film's major villains, in many ways like TARKIN in ANH, in that he is not going to be a lackey like HAAKO in DOD but in fact in competition with Darth Maul for Palpatine's graces.*

Maul, in the meantime, has prepared the Sith acolytes (the "grunts" of which are attired exactly as the Royal Guards are in ROTJ; others, like Plo and Aurra in DOD, are a bit more individual) for an assault on the Jedi Temple on the Coruscanti moon.

The plan, as revealed at the beginning of the film, is for Palpatine to launch an all-out attack on Coruscant itself with the Star Destroyer, which will outgun anything the Republic has to offer and then some. The Stormtroopers will then land and take control of the surface. Coruscant under his control, Palpatine will have himself declared Emperor of the Galaxy, with he complete support of his cronies in the Senate.

*This time around, the space battle will be the film's focus during the invasion, not the land battle; this isn't intended to be a retread of Alderaan's capture by the Guild.*

The Sith will at the same time attack the Jedi. This assault is multipurposed: to occupy the Jedi so they cannot interfere with the taking of Coruscant, to eliminate the Jedi once and for all, and to take the Daughter of Destiny, who intelligence reveals is currently on the Coruscanti moon.

After we see the buildup of forces at Kuat, we will see that two Jedi, QUI-GON JINN has been spying on the shipyards and has learned of the impending attack. He races to warn the rest of the Jedi, but is NOT privy to the impending Sith attack.

After the Star Destroyer and Qui-Gon are shown, we will then cut to Byss (tentative nod to EU, but may change to Hab Abbadon, the original name for Coruscant before the Zahn novels), where we will see Maul and his minions. This is the same setting where Obiwan saw Anakin and Maul fight in his vision in DOD. The Sith will set course for the Jedi Temple in their Sith Interceptors (now shown as not just Aurra's ship, but the generic Sith Starfighter; both Jedi and Sith forces will have a identifying ships)

I'll detail more later, as my hands are growing tired and I must save my energy for tonight's festivities. Happy New Years to al

 

I think I'm going to cut the character of Qui-Gon's apprentice. He would have played an important foil to Anakin, but I'm afraid the plot will get a little stuffed, much like TPM was, sadly.

 

CONTINUED!

From BYSS, we wipe to THE JEDI TEMPLE on the CORUSCANTI MOON, where ANAKIN continues to train under OBIWAN's guidance. This will NOT be a lightsaber training scene; we've had enough of those. ANAKIN is progressing smoothly, but still has much to learn. He is the apprentice; OBIWAN is the master.

ANAKIN expresses a growing sense of longing, which OBIWAN can't help but echo. OBIWAN has always sacrificed his romantic interests for the Jedi Order; he may in fact have been romantically linked to Destiny Naberrie, Amidala's mother.

AMIDALA is at the Jedi Temple as well, meeting with the JEDI COUNCIL. They are growing concerned about the Daughter of Destiny prophesy: it is coming due, and Amidala still has no children by her marriage with BAIL. Additionally, Sith-employed bounty hunters and assassins have made attempts on Amidala's life. The COUNCIL wants AMIDALA to stay at the TEMPLE, where they can keep her safe. AMIDALA refuses to be shut in and abandon her throne and people, though.

AMIDALA is waiting at the Temple until BAIL returns from a Senate hearing so they can go back to Alderaan. In the meantime, she and the GUNGAN, who is still ever vigilant at her side, spend an evening with ANAKIN. AMIDALA and ANAKIN playfully compete in a STARFIGHTER RACE while the GUNGAN is forced to watch ruefully on. AMIDALA is being playfully, harmlessly flirtatious; she considers ANAKIN a true friend. ANAKIN, on the other hand, is falling for the young Queen. During the race, QUI-GON arrives with the news of the impending assault on Coruscant. The COUNCIL start to rally the Jedi present at the temple to defend Coruscant when the SITH INTERCEPTORS drop out of hyperspace and mount their assault.

 

wowowowowwwww...

Since DOD, Palpatine and Darth Maul have being laying the groundwork for taking over the galaxy, as promised at the end of DOD. They now have two armies at their command, as the alternate version of their conversion in Version 1.1 hints at (if you haven't gotten that far in the alternate draft, sorry for spoiling this, but then again, I warned you ).

Sigh yeah, I know.

Palpatine has secretly converted the Trader Guild's Mandalorians into his legions of Stormtroopers, no longer run by the Lobots: while now harder to coordinate, they can no longer be crippled simply by knocking out the mother ship.

Bravo! Love it. It's not the same thing with those droids