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Problem Child - ObiWan/Qui-Gon AU (Second Teaser )

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Just_Jill, Nov 15, 2002.

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  1. Just_Jill

    Just_Jill Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2002
    Padawan_Travina - I agree with Obi-Wan..This is very confusing...
    Would you be terribly mad if I said that was the point?

    Nicky - Sometimes I think that there is too much of a distinction between the person who actually thought up a crime and that person who helps and who will be dealt in court accordingly.
    Ah. Yes, that clarifies it nicely. And I agree, if they are helping willingly.

    forever_jedi - I wonder if this means that they think there is something much more sinister behind this that just one screwed-up padawan.
    Qui-Gon certainly thinks so....

    Jedi_Loren - Qui better come to his senses and take Obi as his padawan!
    And if he doesn't? :p

    Flashbacca - So Mstr. Sorin is the one who abused him?!
    Did I say that? [face_mischief]

    Shaindl - I'm not adverse to begging!
    Ah, but I am imune to it. :p

    Jedi_Suzuran - I'm so confused! I need answers!
    I promise you'll get them. Eventually.

    Obaona - But I'm happy to see him starting to think about Qui-Gon in a Masterly sort of way.
    It is kind of nice, isn't it?

    Jane Jinn - admitting to himself that he actually cared what the man thought of him.
    Nice, eh? And good guess, there. :D

    Cicci - I must say he is cute when he's awkward.
    Yeah, he's just... well, cute, isn't he?

    Sheila - I do hope they get what is truly coming to them.
    Yes. So do I.

    Wild_Huntress - Too tired to say anything more...
    You sound like me. I'm just out of it these days....

    So, I was wrong. I really thought I could stay away, but I can't. Here's the next chapter.

    Just Jill
     
  2. Just_Jill

    Just_Jill Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2002
    Ch 16: "Cold on Ice, It's a Dead Man's Touch" - Kenny Wayne Shepherd Band, Blue on Black

    I'm late, Qui-Gon thought in frustration, making his way through the hallways to the room to which he'd been assigned. He'd just had a very uninformative meeting with Sorin and he struggled to release the negative feelings into the Force. He simply could not have them around for the next couple of hours. "I wish I could... make them tell me what happened," he muttered, and shook his head when he realized he'd spoken out loud. That was impossible. Someone, somehow, was going to have to get Obi-Wan to open up.

    And speaking of Obi-Wan...

    The boy stood outside the training room, still as he had been taught. Or as he'd been trained through pain, Qui-Gon thought angrily. Tendrils of the Force quested down the hallway past him, so thin that he barely felt it, and he could see Obi-Wan's eyes moving back and forth, trying to see to either side of him without moving his head. There was no fear in the Force, but the boy's stiff stance and his eye movements proclaimed uncertainty and fear. The anger he hadn't released swelled, and Qui-Gon paused. Taking a deep breath, he again released frustration and anger into the Force and was able to approach the boy in serenity. "Good afternoon."

    Obi-Wan nodded, his stance relaxing slightly, but Qui-Gon could see a smile tugging on his lips. "Good afternoon, Master Jinn," he responded.

    "It is good to see you. Shall we go in?"

    Obi-Wan's eyes widened, and he nodded. "Yes, sir," he said, and followed the Jedi inside.

    They warmed up together. Qui-Gon watched the boy, noticing how he moved freer and seemed happier. But then he'd always been happy when working with the lightsaber. Still, the return to the Temple appeared to have been a good move.

    "Thank you for speaking with Master Elaida," Obi-Wan said as they finished warming up.

    Qui-Gon smiled slightly. "Is it helping?"

    The boy gave a one-shouldered shrug. "I think so," he said. "The last time one of the children pulled my braid, I didn't make them all cry."

    "Good," Qui-Gon said. He'd figured that might be the outcome, and had spoken long with the Council about the wisdom of sending Obi-Wan to work in the creche. "And the Healers?"

    Obi-Wan huffed a little. "It's not so bad. And Theela is really nice."

    "Yes, she is," Qui-Gon said.

    Obi-Wan glanced at him. "May I ask you a question, Master Jinn?"

    "Of course."

    The boy seemed to be gathering his courage. "I worked for the last few weeks with Master Yoda on my shields," he said. "Yesterday I worked with Master Windu. Do you know why?"

    Qui-Gon looked at the boy in surprise. "I do," he said. "When I explained how you had reacted when I suggested you work with Master Yoda, the Council was concerned. We determined that you should work with all of them, one on one, to make sure that if there is another incident, we catch it now, rather than later."

    The relieved look that crossed Obi-Wan's face was a surprise, and then Qui-Gon realized why. Of course the boy was insecure about changing teachers, he thought. It was no wonder, after being passed from Master to Master like an unwanted puppy. "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't think to explain to you what we were doing. Right now is a testing time. We are trying to see if there are any more of the bombs in your mind."

    Obi-Wan tilted his head to the side, a contemplative look on his face. "It might be wise, then, for me to face the entire council at once." His voice shook slightly. "And even alone."

    "Why do you think that?"

    The boy took a deep breath. "If they had set up a bomb to go off when I took a Padawan," he started slowly, "wouldn't they do the same for my first solo assignment? I mean, so that I reacted to the whole Council, and only when I faced them alone."

    Qui-Gon nodded in approval. "Very good," he said. "I did not think of that. I will speak to Master Yoda and Master Windu tonight." He stretched his neck one last time, and then retrieved his lightsabe
     
  3. Lieutenant_Page

    Lieutenant_Page Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 17, 2001
    Obi-Wan is starting to trust Qui-Gon now YAY!!! I love the humor between them too :)

    Goodness, why does anyway want to hurt Obi-Wan like this? It seems they must be threatened by him, but who is it???

    Perhaps it is not a Jedi.

    Great Post!!
     
  4. forever_jedi

    forever_jedi Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 5, 2002
    L_PageI second your opinion - a Jedi couldn't hurt Obi-Wan that way, not unless he/she was under the influence, so to speak.

    I wonder what Adi was doing in the training room?

    The bright news in all this is that both QG and OW seem to be well on the way to ending up together! Great sign that QG was able to pull OW from that trance, showing signs of deep trust.
     
  5. Cicci

    Cicci Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 16, 2002
    Does the The Foilani Knight have something to do with the droids?

    In any case, that was a really mean trick and I understand why Obi would want to hide inside himself.

    I second forever_jedi's comment that Qui pulling Obi from the trance shows that they trust one another, and that is nice to see.

    I love how this story develops, you're doing an amazing job, Jill!
     
  6. Nicky

    Nicky Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Oct 25, 2002
    Great post! It would seem that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan already formed some kind of bond unconsciously because I doubt that otherwise Qui-Gon would have been able to get the boy out of the trance.

    Where was Adi when Qui-Gon got to the Healer's Wing? That she was in the training room could be explained with the fact that she - like Qui-Gon - just happened to be in the vicinity and sensed Obi's fear. But what reason would she have to leave him alone in the infirmary other than to fetch Mace and Yoda - which she didn't...

    More please!!!

    Nicky
     
  7. jacen200015

    jacen200015 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 11, 2002
    I think someone is jealous of Obi-Wan. Xantos? Maybe Bruck?
     
  8. BlueJedi

    BlueJedi Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 25, 2002
    WOW! fantastic Post. I just have to say again how well paced this story is, and your character developement is top form.

    great job. I am rivited





     
  9. Jedi_Loren

    Jedi_Loren Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2001
    <growls at whoever is trying to hurt/kill Obi-Wan> Bad people! bad bad people!

    as to what I'll do if Qui doesn't take Obi as his Padawan...I'll....beat him over the head with the handle of my Katana! :p

    Great post, can we have more? pretty plrease with lightsaber shaped candies and marshmellows on top? :p ;)
     
  10. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    I am also wondering if the Foilani knight had something to do with the droids, but when Obi-Wan felt that dark feeling before, he was away from the Temple, and the Foilani knight was not necessarily sneaking around the house at that time, at least not that we know of. So I'm starting to think it might be something bigger and badder than little Di'ona.

    Obi-Wan was clever to think of a further trap possibility! I like the way he was looking for Qui-Gon without wanting to be seen doing it, and the way he was relieved to hear that Qui-Gon would continue to teach him.

    The walls of mastership are starting to close in on Qui-Gon! YES!

    The way Miro came into the story was rather abrupt and I had to go back and read that section a time or two before I understood. I'd suggest putting in a bit more description of where Qui-Gon ran to with the droid and why specifically he chose Miro to show it to. I mean, I know who Miro is from the JA series, but here he's only described as a 'technician'. Otherwise, another great post!
     
  11. obaona

    obaona Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    Oh, Qui-Gon. *singsong voice* Guess what you get to do? :D [face_mischief]

    And poor Obi-Wan. Who is trying to break him and why? [face_worried]

    Great story! Great post! [face_love] :D
     
  12. Jedi_Knight150

    Jedi_Knight150 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 2002
    *hits Qui in the back of the head*

    Will you just take him as your Padawan already?!

    Yet another great chapter. I love this story! I just hope there isn't a JA Bandomeer incident coming up. If I have to read another copy of that I am going to scream.
     
  13. Jedi_Suzuran

    Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    May 22, 2002
    I agree with everyone else, that suspicious knight has to be at the bottom of this somehow. What's the motive though? He's just a 13 year old boy, not a master or something.

    Unless he's the Chosen One in your story and nobody knows except the knight?

    I'm stretching here, but that's what comes of being a member of the Officially Confused Club. :p
     
  14. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    I've just come out of lurking mode to let you know that I've been enjoying this fic a lot. Very intriguing and it has consistantly kept my interest. Great job.

     
  15. Just_Jill

    Just_Jill Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2002
    Lieutenant_Page - why does anyway want to hurt Obi-Wan like this?
    Good question. I promise the answer will be soon.

    forever_jedi - showing signs of deep trust.
    Good point. They are, aren't they?

    Cicci - that was a really mean trick
    No argument here.

    Nicky - It would seem that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan already formed some kind of bond unconsciously
    It would indeed seem so.

    jacen200015 - I think someone is jealous of Obi-Wan.
    Hm. Didn't think of that.

    BlueJedi - [face_blush] Thanks.

    Jedi_Loren - I'll....beat him over the head with the handle of my Katana!
    Really? I'd like to see that. The man's HUGE. And I'd like to see your Katana.

    Jane Jinn - The walls of mastership are starting to close in on Qui-Gon!
    [face_laugh] He really doesn't have a chance, does he?
    Sorry about Miro; you were right.

    obaona - Who is trying to break him and why?
    Good question.

    Jedi_Knight150 - I just hope there isn't a JA Bandomeer incident coming up.
    Which instant is that, and I don't think so. They don't get there in this fic.

    Jedi_Suzuran - that's what comes of being a member of the Officially Confused Club.
    Oh, can I join? Please?

    dianethx - Welcome!

    Here's the next chapter.

    Just Jill
     
  16. Just_Jill

    Just_Jill Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2002
    Ch 17: "Got Nothing to Hide no More" - Backstreet Boys, Shape of My Heart

    It was all Obi-Wan could do not to scream. It hurt, everything hurt, and the Healer didn't seem to be doing anything about it. "They'll just make it worse," Master Denk's voice said in his mind, echoing what Master Sorin had said, echoed in turn by Master Toman. "Not true," he murmured. "Not true."

    He felt adrift, had ever since Master Jinn had removed his hand from his chin. It had felt like the only anchor in the sea of pain. He knew that somewhere, Master Yoda and Theela were doing something to heal him, but he couldn't tell the difference.

    And then he could, only the pain wasn't easing like he thought it should. Instead, the pain in the knee Master Toman had twisted sharpened suddenly, and he gasped at it. "No," he moaned, but didn't want to believe what his Masters had said. They'd lied. They'd lied about everything else, this had to be a lie, too.

    "I'm sorry," Theela said from a distance, and she sounded frustrated. "Master Yoda, it is as if every wound he's ever had is returning. I know that knee was healed."

    "They said..." Obi-Wan gasped. "They said going to the healers would make it worse. They just wanted to make sure it would." It's not true, he told the Masters in his mind. It's not true!

    There was a sudden, familiar snap in his mind, and his whole body shuddered. The pain eased. "Without me you may work," Yoda said, and it sounded like he was far away. Before Obi-Wan could think of a response, the full force of healing hit him and he descended into a painless dark.

    When he woke up, he felt better. He moved his arms and legs experimentally, feeling the skin pull in places. That reminded him of what had happened, and he glanced around the room. To his relief, it was empty, but the idea of laying there and waiting for whoever had attacked him to come and get him was not one he liked. He sat up and wavered slightly as his vision swam. The door opened then, and Theela appeared in the doorway. "What are you doing?" she asked.

    "I feel much better," he said. "I thought I'd better get back to my duties."

    "You are where you are supposed to be," she said firmly. "You are to stay here for a while longer at least. I've already informed Master Jinn and Master Windu you will not be meeting with them this afternoon."

    "No!" Obi-Wan protested. "You can't do that." His voice trailed away, and his eyes dropped. "I'm sorry," he said softly. They'd never let him go with that kind of attitude, that was for sure. "How long?"

    Theela didn't answer for a moment. "For the rest of today, at least. Someone will bring you lunch, and I'm pretty sure you'll be able to get dinner on your own, if you rest like you're told." Her voice was kind, understanding.

    Obi-Wan immediately lay down. "May I read something?" he asked.

    Theela chuckled. "Certainly, child. Anything specific?"

    He paused, wondering that himself, when the idea popped into his head. "History of the Jedi Order," he said, although he wasn't exactly sure why. The Force indicated it was a good choice, so he went with it.

    "Anything specific? That's a lot of information."

    "No, I don't think so," he said, hesitant, but the Force didn't offer any help this time. "Anything that you think is interesting?"

    Theela chuckled. "You're likely to find it dry reading, but I'll see what I can do."

    She presented him with a datapad about an hour later, letting it slide from her large hand onto the table next to his bed. With one hand that covered his back, she sat him up and arranged a handful of pillows for him to lay against. When he was comfortable, she tousled his hair and left the room. As soon as she had gone, he started to read.

    Bant and Garen brought lunch with them, and he set the datapad aside to catch up with them, their laughter and smiles brightening his day considerably. Garen looked somehow different to Obi-Wan's eyes, and it took him a minute to realize it was the braid he now wore. He grinned suddenl
     
  17. Padawan_Travina

    Padawan_Travina Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 5, 2002
    Jill...

    Wonderful chapter...I love the visions...

    But Can I kill Obi's former master's?


    PLEASE?


    PT
     
  18. Ewanfan51

    Ewanfan51 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    May 19, 2002
    The plot thickens. This is getting very interesting. I hope Qui Gon takes Obi Wan as his padawan soon. He is going to need some protection and he is trying too hard to find out everything on his own. I know it is because he feels he can't trust anyone but it is dangerous.
    Great story.
    Thanks
    More please
     
  19. Nicky

    Nicky Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Oct 25, 2002
    Very interesting chapter!

    Why would Obi-Wan, though, dream about all those fights he'll eventually have to fight (though he himself isn't aware of that fact yet)? Well, I'd definitely rather have him as the Chosen One than the brat... er... Anakin. Really great dream-sequence! :)

    Nicky
     
  20. jacen200015

    jacen200015 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 11, 2002
    I loved the way you did the vision. hmmm is it possible that someone from the "future" could be doing this to Obi because Obi had failed the chosen one?
     
  21. forever_jedi

    forever_jedi Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 5, 2002
    That last bomb was the meanest of them all! To think that Obi-Wan had to relive every single injury he ever had. No wonder the little green man was mad afterward!

    Just_Jill Wonderful descriptions of all the lightsaber battles and Obi-Wan knowing that green had turned to red and then turned back to green again!
     
  22. Cicci

    Cicci Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 16, 2002
    Wonderful, Jill. Beautiful descpritions of Obi-Wan's dream/vision.

    Nice to see Bant and Garen mae an appearance, too. And Yoda's taken some action, good.

    I still believe the Foliani has something to do with all this. Whoever it is, they know something about Obi (meybe his future?) that others are unaware of.

     
  23. Shaindl

    Shaindl Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    Better than us taking on Obi's former Masters, can you please have Qui beat - literally - some sense into them? He's supposed to be one of the best swordsmen in the Order. I bet he could take them all on at once and kill three birds with one stone.

    Please? :D

    Anyways, great chapter! Looking forward to the next.

    Shaindl
     
  24. Lieutenant_Page

    Lieutenant_Page Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 17, 2001
    "He knew - somehow - that the blue blade had been reborn as green."

    That line...I don't know what it was, but it gave me tears! That was such an awesome post! The visons were just amazing! I started to cry, they were so great! WOW I just can't express how much I loved that post in words.

    Amazing!
     
  25. VadeyFan2002

    VadeyFan2002 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 30, 2002
    That line LP was the fight between Maul (red), Qui (green) and Obi (blue);
    Qui died (green went out), Obi lost his saber (Blue went out) and Obi took Qui's saber (blue reborn as green), finally Obi defeated Maul (green beat red).

    It's easy, isn't it?

    the second fight is at Geonosis with Yoda saving the day.

    the third Anakin against Obi at the lava-pit;

    the next Vader killing Obi,

    then the fight at Cloud-city and Luke made himself a new on,
    and the last of course the battle in the throne-room, where Vader came back and died as Anakin.

    BTW: very good idea to tell the future to Obi.
     
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