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Problem Child - ObiWan/Qui-Gon AU (Second Teaser )

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Just_Jill, Nov 15, 2002.

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  1. Wild_Huntress

    Wild_Huntress Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 15, 2002
    Wow..... Amazing story you got here, Jill. :)
     
  2. Jedi_Suzuran

    Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    May 22, 2002
    Grrr...I want to kill all those masters right now. :mad:

    Thanks for liking my name, btw. You can always shorten it, if you like. It can be a pain to type. :p

    I hear you about the feedback, Jill, I'm addicted to it as well. :)

    This keeps getting better and better. :D
     
  3. Flashbacca

    Flashbacca Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 11, 2002
    :eek: eeep! Missed all weekend!

    Very good posts Just_Jill This is a very interesting story - captured my attention completely. Why in heavens name would a Jedi master mistreat his apprentice. And what did Sorin do to Obi?

    Keep up the good work!

    :D The Wookiee
     
  4. Tahiri

    Tahiri Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 9, 2001
    Oooh -- I haven't been to the fic boards in ages, and here I am! The first fic I click on is masterfully written and absolutely spiffy. I can't wait to read more!
     
  5. Lieutenant_Page

    Lieutenant_Page Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 17, 2001
    And what is up with your signature? The one about a true friend? That's hysterial.

    I'm glad you like it..I think Oscar Wilde said it.
    Thanks for taking note or I would have never relized I had a spelling error.

    I'm glad Obi-Wan is opening up now...but those masters..what ever happened to them? They make me angry. MORE!
     
  6. Padawan_Travina

    Padawan_Travina Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 5, 2002
    Wow Jill..

    What a great last chapter..Poor Obi-Wan... Can I kill Obi-Wan's former Master's PLEASE????

    Can't wait to read more...

    PT
     
  7. TheFallen

    TheFallen Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 27, 2001
    Wonderful story you have going! :D Excellent characterization.
     
  8. Cascadia

    Cascadia Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 15, 2002
    Great post, Jill!

    Qui-Gon needs to get Obi-Wan to open up more to him. Please post more! :)
     
  9. Jedi_Knight_Hunter

    Jedi_Knight_Hunter Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 6, 2002
    *lights her amythest saber*

    May I join the hunting party?

    Excellent job, I love the way you portray Obi.
     
  10. Ewanfan51

    Ewanfan51 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    May 19, 2002
    Poor Obi,, I can't keep myself from saying this. This sounds like a plot to destroy or turn Obi Wan. Nasty bad Masters.

    Qui Gon is wonderful in this. He is just what Obi Wan needs. I hope he has the pleasure of meting out justice. Heh

    Thanks

    more please
     
  11. kikeriki

    kikeriki Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Oct 23, 2002
    Yep, I knew my name meant a rooster's crow. I didn't think it would cause as much of a conundrum as it seems to have posed to you. :D We learned it in German class, and I thought it sounded fun. Heh.

    Wonderful chapter, again! I am equipped with a lightsaber and am ready to charge Obi's former masters. Anyone ready for an evil Jedi purge? *evil laughter* Jill, I envy you. I wish I could write as well as you do! You have a wonderful talent.
     
  12. Jedi_Knight150

    Jedi_Knight150 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 2002
    Suddenly I don't feel like starting to post my new story....

    Hey, maybe you could help beta read it Jill!
     
  13. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    Count me in on the great (or awful) master hunt.

    I love the way you are showing Qui-Gon waiting so patiently for the boy to open up. This is very different than the other stories out there right now. I love it!
     
  14. obaona

    obaona Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    I love this story!! :D

    You're bringing us through Obi-Wan's and Qui-Gon's relationship slowly, and I like that. You aren't rushing things. I like the attention to detail. I like it all. 8-}

    More, please? :D
     
  15. Sheila

    Sheila Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 6, 2002
    It is so nice that Qui-Gon is getting Obi-Wan to open up. He really has been abused in everyway, starved, ridiculed and physically hurt. I do hope Obi-Wan's previous masters get whats coming to them for hurting a child like that. :(

    Great story. I am so glad you are updating more often than you thought you would. I am thoroughly addicted! :D
     
  16. Just_Jill

    Just_Jill Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2002
    You guys are really awesome. Thanks so much for your responses!

    Jedi_Knight150 - Would you be so kind as to point in the direction of Obi-Wan's former Masters?

    I could - but then I wouldn't have a story. I'll let you have them later, though. If you still want them.

    Wild_Huntress - Amazing story you got here, Jill.

    [face_blush] Thanks.

    Jedi_Suzuran - I want to kill all those masters right now.

    You can be second in line.

    Flashbacca - Why in heavens name would a Jedi master mistreat his apprentice.

    Another $64 dollar question.

    Tahiri - Thanks. I'm glad you like it. Love your name.

    Lieutenant_Page - but those masters..what ever happened to them?

    Oh, they're still around.

    Padawan_Travina - Can I kill Obi-Wan's former Master's PLEASE????

    Get in line. Or form a Posse? So you each have shot.

    TheFallen - [face_blush] Thanks

    Cascadia - Qui-Gon needs to get Obi-Wan to open up more to him.

    Yep. He's working on that. Seems our favorite Padawan is having none of it.

    Jedi_Knight_Hunter - May I join the hunting party?

    Sure - but I need them still for a little while...

    Speaking of hunting parties, I was wondering. Are you a Jedi Knight named Hunter, or do you hunt Jedi Knights?

    Ewanfan51 - Qui Gon is wonderful in this.

    Something I was aiming for. I felt someone ought to portray him in something of a nicer light.

    kikeriki - Anyone ready for an evil Jedi purge?

    [face_laugh]

    I learned it in German class, too, but that was more years that I care to count. And it's been almost seven years since I really used my German (Judith Tarr's Books in German notwithstanding - I'm in the second book of the trilogy).

    Jedi_Knight150 - Suddenly I don't feel like starting to post my new story....

    I felt the same way with red_rose_knight, ArwenWhitesun, CalaisKenobi.... But if you get the urge, don't fight it!

    PadawanKitara - I love the way you are showing Qui-Gon waiting so patiently

    Thank you. I tried to show my vision of the Master.

    And what, exactly, are Dufi?

    obaona - I like the attention to detail.

    I can't begin to tell you how flattering that is - details are my downfall.

    Sheila - He really has been abused in everyway, starved, ridiculed and physically hurt.

    At least.


    Here's the next chapter.

    Just Jill
     
  17. Kit'

    Kit' Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Oct 30, 1999
    Qui-gon is so open and caring, trying to get Obi-wan to open up and talk. Being a 'real' master so to speak. I agree with the sentiment that the other masters must die, anyone who goes out of their way to mistreat and harm a child over extended periods of time, deserves to be beaten up by a more then competent Jedi Master.

    Great story!

    Kithera
     
  18. Just_Jill

    Just_Jill Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2002
    Ch 5: "Who do You Want Me to Be?" - Animotion, Obsession

    The sunlight was in the trees outside his window when Obi-Wan woke. It was luxurious, to be able to sleep, to not have to worry about someone bursting in - at least, not yet.

    A knock on his door made him jump, and he stared at it, terror filling him. "Obi-Wan?"

    "Yes?" his voice cracked.

    The door opened and Qui-Gon stood there, a concerned look on his face. "Are you okay?"

    Obi-Wan cleared his throat and sat up. "I'm fine," he said.

    Qui-Gon looked at him evenly, and he dropped his eyes, his shields as strong as he could make them. Please don't come in, his thoughts chanted. Let me feel safe somewhere. "Would you prefer that I not enter your room?" the Knight asked softly.

    Obi-Wan threw his head up in surprise, and opened his mouth to answer ?its up to you,' only to be betrayed by his own tongue. "Yes."

    The Jedi nodded once, sharply. "Very well. Breakfast is ready. Will you need help?"

    Obi-Wan swallowed past the lump in his throat. Pushing the blanket aside, he got to his feet. "No, I don't think so."

    "Go slowly," Qui-Gon cautioned him, and left the doorway.

    So he did, using the walls to help him keep his balance. When he reached the kitchen, Qui-Gon was just putting breakfast on the table.

    It was quiet again this meal; Obi-Wan didn't feel like talking, although he did feel much better. It was amazing, how much good enough sleep could do.

    After breakfast, he went back to working on his lightsaber - and it was really his - using the meditations Qui-Gon had given him to ease the frustration he felt on occasion when he had a hard time fitting in some of the components. The thought distracted him, and he glanced at the Jedi. He was working on his own lightsaber, cleaning it, his large hands more gentle than Obi-Wan would have guessed would be possible. His Masters had been smaller than Qui-Gon, and yet this Jedi had been less violent than any of the three. He looked up before Obi-Wan could look down, and smiled slightly.

    "I spoke with the Council last night," Qui-Gon said without preamble. "I will do so every night, as long as Yoda requires it."

    Obi-Wan stared at him, his feelings roiling. Why? And why tell him now? It was such a weird thing to say, and Qui-Gon certainly had no reason to tell him.

    "I'm telling you this for two reasons. One, I want you to know you can trust me. There is no reason you should not know of this, and I simply did not think that you might want to know. I'm sorry about that. You are welcome to be present to my reports, if you wish. The second reason is that if I didn't tell you, I would be unable to relay greetings from your friends Bant and Garen."

    Obi-Wan froze, unable to respond for the moment. He didn't know how to respond. "Thank you," he finally stuttered. "Are they well?"

    "Yes, I believe so," Qui-Gon said, and went back to what he was doing.

    After a moment, Obi-Wan went back to his own work, still confused. Trust had been an issue with Masters Sorin, Denk and Toman, but they'd all demanded it of him. This was very strange. Considering Master Toman's reaction to him spending even his own free time with Bant and Garen, he knew that his former Master would not have passed on their greetings. He pushed his thoughts of all his former Masters from his head and focused on the task at hand. It was much more pleasant.

    The day ran much as it had the day before; after lunch they spent time meditating. Already, Obi-Wan felt a difference in his contact with the Force, and by late afternoon, he was closer to peace than he had been for nearly two years.

    "How is your knee?"

    Obi-Wan looked up. "Better," he said softly. It was still so strange, but there was no guarantee that this situation wouldn't turn out like the others. It had taken Master Toman almost two weeks before he had invaded his Padawan's mind.

    "I thought we could work on how to keep people out of your head," Qui-Gon said, and Obi-Wan started, staring at the other man. How did
     
  19. Padawan_Travina

    Padawan_Travina Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 5, 2002
    **looks around thread**

    Um...me see no new chapter..did you use invisable ink and forgot to give us the decoding pen?

    :)

    PT
     
  20. Kit'

    Kit' Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Oct 30, 1999
    *ahhhhh* A happy, contented and smile was on my face at the end of that post. It's certainly nice to see Obi-wan responding well to Qui-gon and vice-versa.

    I particularly like this bit :

    Oh, sure, Obi-Wan thought, pressed against the wall. That's what they all said. Then it was - you're too slow - or - I'm your Master, I know what's best - or - That's basic, why don't you know that? - and there was nothing I could do, I'm just a kid.

    It conveyed Obi-an's panic well and his fear at his former masters. I would like to know exactly what they did to him to make him react so fearfully, and even though I have an inkling as to what they did.

    Kithera
     
  21. Tahiri

    Tahiri Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 9, 2001
    Great new addition. The bonding between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan is really sweet. :D Just wondering -- how is it that the Council passes Obi-Wan from one abusive Master to the next, to the next?
     
  22. Padawan_Travina

    Padawan_Travina Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 5, 2002
    All Right Jill...

    I dont care if you need those LUGHEAD Masters or not..I am sooooo going to kill them now...

    I will give a better review when I get back...


    **stalks of into the night to hunt down former masters**

    PT
     
  23. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    That section was really good! I was very impressed by the way you had Qui-Gon asking Obi-Wan why he'd agreed to practice his shielding, and the way Obi-Wan was searching for clues as to what he should say. It was sad that he was expecting punishment for telling the truth, and I almost cheered when Qui-Gon said "This is about you, what you want." and then left him the option of announcing his own readiness, instead of forcing a good thing on him.

    I also like the way Obi-Wan gets up and lays down on the rug in the sunlight every morning. It's like a symbol somehow that he's craving light and warmth.

    I'm glad that there are other people out there who see Qui-Gon the way I do. I've been a bit distressed by the wave of "cruel and idiotic master" fics on the board recently.
     
  24. Jedi_Suzuran

    Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    May 22, 2002
    Ah, good for Obi, he's slowly learning to trust. :) That's good.

    I still want to kill his former masters, though, Jill. :mad:
     
  25. Ewanfan51

    Ewanfan51 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    May 19, 2002
    Qui Gon is taking the perfect route with Obi Wan. I love this fic. Those other Masters have a major hurting coming.

    more please
     
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