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Problem Child - ObiWan/Qui-Gon AU (Second Teaser )

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Just_Jill, Nov 15, 2002.

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  1. TheSwedishJedi

    TheSwedishJedi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 15, 2001
    SWEET!

    I just found this (and finished reading it in about two sittings) and I love it. Very different and original plot, well writing, Obi-angish and Qui-Gon is actually nice and not too thickheaded. All my favorite things in a fic. :D

    Oh, but there's so many questions, the most important being why Obi had such abusive, mean spirted, should-be-stabbed-with-a-lightsaber-in-the-back Masters. And how come the Council didn't find out about them eariler? And what's with the Knight in the beging that was giving Qui-Gon evil looks? And Obi seemed to know about Dooku, even like him a little. Did he know him from before? And where did Yoda go? Or all they all in on it save for Qui and Obi and the Coucil is really Sith and... Ok, that was being a little too paranoid.

    Poor kid has so many problems. Hope to see a new post soon.

    ~Swede :p
     
  2. jacen200015

    jacen200015 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 11, 2002
    those masters were mean, poor obi. :(
     
  3. obaona

    obaona Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    Okay, that was an evil cliffie. [face_plain] But great nevertheless! I only wish it had been longer . . . even if you still had to keep the evil cliffie. ;)

    I wonder about Obi's remark about his former Master's hating him. They seemed determined to ruin his life, and the life of anyone close to him, whether a Padawan or Master. :mad:

    I'd kill those Masters . . . *shifts lightsaber in hand* ;)
     
  4. Sheila

    Sheila Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 6, 2002
    I loved the idea about the bombs being planted in this mind and them having to be detonated. Very interesting idea. To think that a bomb was set for Obi-Wan taking a padawan, whoever is behind this was looking to the future as well as the present. I am a little concerned that they will miss something and it will go off when they least expect it. :eek:

    Great post! :)
     
  5. Tahiri

    Tahiri Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 9, 2001
    *gathers her blaster and saber* Where are those masters of his and why haven't they been hunted down and executed yet?! :mad:

    Oooh but I wanna know what happened to Obi...! Evil cliffies.... Don't go getting too good at them... 8-}
     
  6. Just_Jill

    Just_Jill Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2002
    I'm sorry I didn't make it clearer - Yoda returned to the Temple.

    Lieutenant_Page - Become my Padawan, I was quite shocked
    So was Obi-Wan. ;)

    What a way to tourture a kid.
    Not nice, is it?

    Padawan_Travina - Can we get another chapter today please???
    Oh, no. Because I don't want to die when I get back from vacation.

    Jedi_Knight150 - What happened?! What happened to Obi-Wan?!
    Qui-Gon would like to know that, too.

    Jedi_Knight_Hunter - LOL @ the thought of Obi being Qui's master...
    Funny, eh? And yes, there is a sequel. And possibly a sequel after that, although at the rate I'm going, that one is really far out. And Thank you. [face_blush]

    forever_jedi - Why do I get the bad feeling that they will not be able to find all the "bombs"?
    Because that would be too easy?

    kikeriki - whatever happened to Obi's old Masters? Are they just wandering around free as the birds?
    You'll see. I promise.

    Any chance another one's in the near future? Like today?
    Again, there is no way, because I don't want to die when I get back from vacation.

    Jane Jinn - That thunderclap at the end was very worrying.
    I didn't realize it was quite so evil until Travina took me to task about it.

    Cascadia - But where's Yoda? I thought he was supposed to help.
    This is his help.

    Jedi_Suzuran - Were the masters really that sadistic, or were they influenced by someone or something?
    That's something Qui-Gon would like to know, too.

    TheSwedishJedi - Welcome!

    that was being a little too paranoid.
    Have you been reading red_rose_knight? She incites paranoia. Obi-Wan didn't know Dooku. He was genuinely curious about someone who's Master didn't monitor how much they ate.

    jacen200015 - those masters were mean,
    Yes, they were.

    obaona - I wonder about Obi's remark about his former Master's hating him.
    Seemed like a logical conclusion, though, doesn't it?

    Sheila - whoever is behind this was looking to the future as well as the present.
    Nervy of them, wasn't it?

    Tahiri - I wanna know what happened to Obi...!
    Here it is in his own words what happened.


    Next chapter.

    Just Jill
     
  7. Just_Jill

    Just_Jill Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2002
    Ch 12: "Dust Yourself Off and Try Again" - Aliyah, Try Again

    Qui-Gon gently lay Obi-Wan on his bed and straightened slowly. Obi-Wan's words from much earlier - "They must have hated me" - haunted him. He'd gone over the transcripts and recordings again and again, searching for any evidence of fear, hate, anything that would indicate why these three men had tried so hard to destroy Obi-Wan. There was nothing. Each of them had delivered their condemnation of the boy in even, regretful tones. The Council members behind the Master/Padawan pair had not reacted to any anger or anything, so he could only guess those emotions had not been there.

    Of course, he had to admit, finding something the Council hadn't noticed was unlikely at best.

    It occurred to him just how proud he'd been of Obi-Wan all day. The boy had hesitated only a couple of times before meeting the challenge he'd been given head on. He smiled and shook his head, slowly. It still ached from the pain that had hit them both. He knew Masters who would have handled that worse than this Initiate, and he wondered what would happen to Obi-Wan. The thought crossed his mind that maybe he could take the boy.... He shook his head, harder this time, and the pain drove the thought from his mind.

    He started for the kitchen, where he'd left his datapad of notes, but paused in his own doorway long enough to realize he needed more sleep, too. Especially if he were considering taking another apprentice.

    When he woke the next morning and checked on his student, Obi-Wan hadn't moved. A quick probe with the Force showed that he was deeply asleep. It was no cause for alarm. With a smile, the Knight went in to collect the information he'd gathered.

    There was a lot of it, now, especially after the experiences yesterday. He still had to talk to Obi-Wan and see if they could figure out what had made him collapse like that. The picture he was building was not a pretty one. He gathered everything up and returned it to his room, then went back to the common area. It made him feel much better that Yoda knew almost all of his findings about Obi-Wan. The diminutive Master had listened closely for the hour Obi-Wan had slept when he'd visited... only two days ago. It felt like much longer.

    It was midmorning before Obi-Wan emerged from his bedroom, blinking in the sunlight that came in through the big picture window. Qui-Gon looked at him as he sank down on the rug next to him. "How are you feeling?"

    "My head hurts a little, but I'll be okay."

    Qui-Gon nearly frowned at the boy's automatic dismissal of his state of health. "What happened?" he asked instead. He still wasn't sure how the boy would react to a frown.

    Obi-Wan hesitated but didn't look at him. He sat perfectly still in meditation pose, eyes closed. "I'm not sure," he admitted finally. "I was going to meditate on it, but I... slept in."

    There was almost fear in his words. Not as much as there had been when they'd first began working, but it was still there. Qui-Gon wished it had never been, and then dismissed the wish. The past is gone, he repeated firmly to himself. You can do nothing about it. The future, on the other hand, he could do plenty with, and getting rid of the fear would be enough. "Of course you did," Qui-Gon said in a matter of fact tone. Obi-Wan seemed to flinch but didn't look at him. "You needed the sleep. I slept in as well." He glanced at Obi-Wan, who hadn't moved. "But don't try anything until after breakfast. Or lunch, as the case may be." He got up and pulled Obi-Wan to his feet. "Come on."

    They boy was starving. Considering he'd collapsed before they'd had dinner the night before, Qui-Gon wasn't too surprised. The Knight was quite hungry himself, and they demolished lunch quickly.

    They took the afternoon easy, holding an abbreviated saber practice and then meditating in the quiet of the front yard. The day was peaceful, a necessary break after the events of the day before. Qui-Gon noticed the boy's occasional glances but didn
     
  8. Padawan_Travina

    Padawan_Travina Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 5, 2002
    And Qui-Gon when you find them, I want you to take you saber and chop them up into little pieces and then space them....

    Ummm..

    **looks at werid looks she is getting**

    Um.. Dont do that...Talk to them and then leav them alone...


    But then come back and place BOMBS in their minds to go off just like Obi-Wan's..


    **walks away grumbiling about how she wants a new post TODAY!!!**

    PT
     
  9. Jedi_Loren

    Jedi_Loren Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2001
    I'm finally posting, after reading for a long while. this is a *great* story, and I want more! another post? today? please? pretty please with lightsaber shaped candies on top? ;) I can't get enough of this wonderfull story!
     
  10. Flashbacca

    Flashbacca Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 11, 2002
    eek! missed a post yesterday :( and a good post it was!

    So whomever set these "bombs" in Obi's mind, is it possible that they also set other little traps? The previous masters might not have been doing anything deliberately to Obi. Instead, when they tried to do something that was normal, Obi was programmed to feel pain, bad emotions, etc. and when he reacted to what he felt it tapped over to whoever was his current master. They thought it was coming from Obi, Obi thought it was coming from the Master....
    vicious cycle.

    Poor Obi!!!!

    *sigh* poor Master.

    This "poor" wookiee needs another post to clarify this! and Qui needs a padawan!

    :D The Wookiee
     
  11. jacen200015

    jacen200015 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 11, 2002
    That is an interesting hypothesis Flashbacca.

    I really wonder if that could be the case. it sounds really clever to me.
     
  12. forever_jedi

    forever_jedi Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 5, 2002
    Did I detect a slight hesitation on Obi-Wan's part at the thought of leaving behind the peaceful, comforting life with Qui-Gon and going back to the temple and initiate housing? There is hope for them yet!

    The bomb that exploded when Obi-Wan severed the bond with his "Padawan" is very ominous. Wonder what would have happened if this was in the future, and the Padawan had been Anakin?

    Just_Jill I do hope you continue with both your sequels. This is a wonderful AU and very original.
     
  13. Cicci

    Cicci Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 16, 2002
    Wonderfully written, Jill! It is very nice to see Obi making at least a little progress.

    You're not going to throw him yet another traumatic experience back at the Temple are you? *worried*

    I like Qui's initiative to research those so-called Masters.
     
  14. Tahiri

    Tahiri Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 9, 2001
    Aww, poor Obi... I like Qui-Gon's determination here to figure out what happened. Argh, the suspense... 8-}
     
  15. Jedi_Knight150

    Jedi_Knight150 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 2002
    As usual, I have no reflective comments to make, I'm just not good at that. I still like this story though. When is Qui gonna make Obi-Wan his padawan? We know it's gonna happen sometime, but how soon?

    POST MORE!!!!
     
  16. BlueJedi

    BlueJedi Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 25, 2002
    Bravo! Extremley well set up story!! Every post in very interesting aND very well paced.


    cannot wait for more!!




    WONDERFUL!!
     
  17. kikeriki

    kikeriki Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Oct 23, 2002
    Wonderful!

    Qui-Gon, you go get those nasty masters... Just bring 'em back to this thread, we readers'll take care of them! *evil grin*

    Obi's showing great improvement! I love this!
     
  18. Wild_Huntress

    Wild_Huntress Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 15, 2002
    Great posts Jill! ;) But I'm a bit worried what'll happen when Obi goes back.
     
  19. Shaindl

    Shaindl Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    Hi,

    Just found your story - really excellent work. Your characterisations are really good - you can picture a scared and abused Obi-Wan, and the Jedi Master who wants to help but is resisting what his heart is telling him.

    Looking forward to the next post.

    Shaindl
     
  20. Lieutenant_Page

    Lieutenant_Page Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 17, 2001
    Another great post! Obi-Wan is on the road to recovery, but there has to be a catch ;) Egarly awaiting the next post!
     
  21. Jedi_Suzuran

    Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    May 22, 2002
    Most intruiguing. I'm worried though, about what'll happen to Obi when they return to the temple. :(

    Great post, Jill. :D
     
  22. obaona

    obaona Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    That was great! I'm really glad Obi-Wan seems to be finally recovering. :) And I'm even more glad that Qui-Gon is going to get those Sithly Masters! [face_devil] *starts at strange looks* What can I say? People compare me to Mara Jade . . .

    Can't wait for more! :D
     
  23. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    DRL was very cruel to keep me away from this story yesterday. A sequel? :cool: *Kitara does a happy dance**

    Ok Qui-Gon it's time to figure out that you have had a great time teaching this kid. Go kick some evil master's butts, then take the kid as your apprentice :)
     
  24. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    Obi-Wan does seem to be getting back to normal. Qui-Gon must have his reasons for suggesting that he work in the creche, but I can't help being a bit worried about that, though I'm not sure why. Who's Master Zichri? Is -that- the Foilani knight?
     
  25. Kit'

    Kit' Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Oct 30, 1999
    Delurking just to say that this is an incredably well written story. It's spot on for both Obi-wan and Qui-gon (considering the circumstances) and the characters are believable with warmth and are most important life-like with reactions that most people would have in these situations (like Qui-gon getting angry)

    In short, this is brillant!

    Kithera
     
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