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  1. Welcome to the new boards! Details here!

Promises Kept

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by mouse2, Jan 14, 2000.

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  1. mouse2

    mouse2 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 29, 1999
    I have been threatened by my bro Jedi Gryph Grin to post this story. I hope you like it, and please post comments.

    *****************
    Promises Kept

    Chapter 1

    She always wished that she was one of those nondescript people, but she wasn't and never would be. Everyone she passed always had to give her a second look. She wished she knew why, then she could change whatever it was. It could be, and most logically, be her hair. It was a rich auburn color, which most people did not believe was natural, which she kept in a fat braid tucked in at the nape of her neck. Unless someone looked really close they would never know that her hair was a mass of unruly curls that she had taken great pains to hide. She has always said that it's to keep it out of her face while she was working, but only a select few knew her true reasons. It could have been her eyes, but she didn't think so. They were a fairly ordinary dark golden brown color, unless she was angry then they turned a dangerous black. Maybe it was her size. She was small by human standards. She was taller than an R2 unit, but shorter than a protocol droid. She really didn't care what her exact size was, she still carried herself as if she towered over everyone.

    I can't be thinking about this now, I need to get focused on business. I'm late as it is!

    She picked up her pace as the Cantina came into view. With a few sporadic hey's to some acquaintances, she raced inside.

    Finally! she thought. I'm out of that damn crowd and can get down to business!

    "Rela!" The shout snapped her back into the present. Great, this is all I need today, she thought.

    "What," she shouted back.

    "Your late, and I needed you here early for this delivery!"

    "Sorry Els, but there was this huge fight in the marketplace and the authorities had everything blocked off. Anyway why am I telling you, you never believe my excuses even when I'm telling the truth. So where is this delivery going, by the way?"

    "Where do you always deliver to?" the man she called Els asked. "This time its a special delivery and it needs to be there an hour ago."

    "Els, when is it not a special delivery and needed to be there sometime earlier? Anyway, I hate delivering supplies there. They give me the creeps. Plus, this is the third time this month. What are they doing? Stockpiling?"

    "Rela, it's not our business to ask what they are doing, Just deliver the goods and come straight back. I need you here before we open tonight, and you're going to stay until closing for being late."

    "Oh, I would have never guessed that I would have to stay late. You only pull that on me, hmmmm, let me think, all the time! I bet that you want me to do the books at the same time. Am I right? The last time they were done was the last time you made me stay until closing."

    "Rela, go make the deliveries and don't smart off to anyone this time," Els chuckled

    "Fine. I'll be back as soon as I can." Maybe they'll all be in class, or whatever they do there. Oh please Gods don't let them be outside today. Just let me drop off their stuff and get out of there as fast as I can.

    Lost in her thoughts, Rela Quinn left on her delivery run and headed straight for the tallest building on Courscant. The Jedi Temple.


    [This message has been edited by mouse2 (edited 01-14-2000).]
     
  2. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    Good writing. Good descriptions. I'm intrigued. What happens next?
     
  3. Alli-Wan

    Alli-Wan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 21, 1999
    Hmmm. Creepy Jedi. A point of view I have not considered. Interesting. I await more.
     
  4. mouse2

    mouse2 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 29, 1999
    Thank you for your comments. I love the support. Since I have to go out of town this weekend, I'll give you another post. Enjoy and comments are most welcome.

    ***********************

    Chapter 2

    The flash of red and blue lightsabers lit up the practice grounds. Two Jedi padawans were in the mist of practicing, or at least it was supposed to be practice. The blows were coming too fast and too hard for anyone to consider it practice anymore. If they were caught by their masters, only the force knew what would kind of punishment they would receive this time, and they knew it.

    "Bruck, this is supposed to be practice not battle!"

    "Well, Oafy-Wan, are you going to say that when your in a real fight? Oh no, Mr. Badman, this is only supposed to be practice not a fight!"

    "I don't know about you, but I do not want to be assigned to pruning Master Yoda's private garden for a month again!"

    Just then a patch of red moving across the grounds caught their eye.

    "What was that?" asked Bruck as he deactivated his lightsaber.

    "I don't know, but we better go check it out," stated Obi-Wan Kenobi as his lightsaber deactivated.

    As they crept closer, they spotted a small redheaded girl who was carrying some sort of package. Neither Obi-Wan or Bruck could take their eyes off the small girl, but they knew they had to find out who she was and what was she doing on the practice grounds.

    Rela paused as she saw the two Jedi approach. She could tell that they were padawans by their hairstyle, shorn short and spiky on top and a long braid behind the right ear. She knew by the way they were walking towards her that they were curious and wanted answers.

    Great, this is all I need. Two padawans trying to show each other up with me as their target. If they were Masters I wouldn't worry, but these two look too arrogant for anything reasonable. As they got closer Rela rolled her eyes skyward and thought, that is the last time I ask you for anything.

    "Who are you?" asked Obi-Wan.

    "Nobody," replied Rela.

    "He asked you your name girl!" interrupted Bruck.

    Rela got an amused look on her face and turned towards Bruck and answered, "No, he didn't. He asked who I was and I answered him, nobody. Anyway, where do you get off talking to me like that boy?"

    Both Obi-Wan and Bruck stared at the small girl standing in front of them. They were stunned. They would have never imagined that someone would dare talk to a Jedi like that, especially on temple grounds.

    "We were curious as to what you were doing," started Obi-Wan. "I apologize for our rudeness-"

    Then Bruck interrupted again, "We'll I do not! I am a Jedi Knight and I want to know...No, demand to know what you're doing here!"

    What an idiot! thought Rela. "Well since I'm carrying this package here, I guess the obvious reason would be that I'm delivering something. Plus I know the difference between a Padawan and a Knight and your no Knight and never will be with that attitude, and I hope that your master finds out what an arrogant son of a b-"

    "Rela!" a familiar voice shouted.

    Great that's all I need. One more person yelling at me today.

    "Master?"

    "Yes, Obi-Wan?"

    "Do you know this girl," a confused Obi-Wan asked?

    Qui-Gon laughed, "Why yes Padawan, I've known this girl Rela for all of her seventeen years."

    Both padawans turned to stare at Rela, again.

    "Don't say it! I know what your thinking and I've heard them all," Rela told them. She then turned to address Qui-Gon. "Here's your package Master Jinn. I'm sorry that I was late, but as you can see I was somewhat detained."

    Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan got an amused look on their faces, but this only enraged Bruck further. Before Bruck could open his mouth to rant his opinion, Qui-Gon cut him off. "Padawan Chun I believe your master, Kelmi Tiros, was looking for you. I suggest that you go find her.

    Bruck started to protest, but quickly came to his senses. "Yes Master Jinn," he stated. As he was leaving Bruck murmured to Obi-Wan, "We will continue our practice later Oafy-Wan." With that said he left in search of his master.
     
  5. Wormy

    Wormy Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Feb 12, 1999
    *g* This is great! I hope u post more, soon.. or I'll hafta write threatening posts.. hope ya had a nice weekend!!! ^_^
     
  6. Kit'

    Kit' Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Oct 30, 1999
    WOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO more!!!

    And thankyou for reading my thread seeing no-one else is!!!!!!

    See ya
    Kithera


     
  7. Jedi Gryph Grin

    Jedi Gryph Grin Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 25, 1999
    Threaten?!?! THREATEN?!?! MOI??

    Good job!!

    And 'Kit, I'm reading yours too.
     
  8. Hiroko01

    Hiroko01 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 14, 1998
    Cool! Toppers.
     
  9. Jedi Gryph Grin

    Jedi Gryph Grin Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 25, 1999
    Uppity up up uppity up!
     
  10. mouse2

    mouse2 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 29, 1999
    Here's more, and it's a long one. I hope you like. Please comment.
    *****************
    Chapter 3

    The music was loud and the customers were hopping. It was just another busy night in a cantina on Coruscant. The only things that were not moving were an oversized, menacing looking wookie at the front door and a small redheaded girl who was sitting at the back corner of the bar. Rela was oblivious to everything that was going on around her. Her eyes were glued to the data pad that she held in front of her. If you paid close attention, you would see her look up at Els, who was tending bar, and give him an 'I told you so' look. Otherwise, no one would have seen her unless they were looking for her. Which is exactly what the next to people who walked through the door were doing.

    "Keep your eyes open and your head down, Obi-Wan. I don't want to arouse suspicion as to why we are here."

    "Why are we here, Master?"

    "Because of a promise I made a long time ago, Padawan. Seventeen years to be exact."

    "Is that why the girl is so important to you?" asked Obi-Wan

    Qui-Gon understood what Obi-Wan was trying to say. His padawans' pride had been hurt because of something he hadn't told him. His relationship with Rela was something that Qui-Gon believed was a private matter between him, Rela and her family. He saw no need to force this matter upon Obi-Wan until it became absolutely necessary. Today things had changed and matters needed to be resolved. Now Qui-Gon realized that it had become absolutely necessary to include Obi-Wan in this situation.

    "Her name is Rela Quinn and I hope for my sake that you remember her name. If what I think is happening you will need to remember her name."

    "What situation are you talking about, Master?"

    "I'll tell you Obi-Wan, but let me discuss it with Rela first since it does effect her personally."

    "Yes, Master."

    "Go find us a place to sit. Preferably somewhere out of the crowd."

    Obi-Wan quickly looked for an empty table. He soon found one located near the back of the cantina. As he walked over to sit down he could help but notice that Qui-Gon had walked over to the bar and was talking to the bartender.

    What is he getting us into now, thought Obi-Wan. What is that girl's name again....Oh Rela. Why would she be in here? Then a somewhat familiar voice snapped Obi-Wan out of his thoughts.

    "By the force, what the sith are you doing here?"

    Obi-Wan looked up to see Rela standing beside him. She still held the data pad in her hand, but was now intently staring at Obi-Wan. Great, let's see if I can make her even more angry since this afternoon.

    "Well, are you here to finish the job you and your friend started this afternoon?"

    "No," stated Obi-Wan, "and Bruck Chun is not my friend. Master Qui-Gon was looking for you."

    Rela got an amused look on her face while looking at Obi-Wan. He really looks uncomfortable in here, maybe he's not as bad as I thought. If Qui-Gon can put up with him, at least I can give him a second chance. "Why is Qui-Gon looking for me? And, by the way, let's start over, my name is Rela, Rela Quinn," she said as she held out her hand to him in a peace offering.

    "Obi-Wan Kenobi," he said as he took her hand in friendship.

    "That's a mouthful of a name isn't it?" Obi-Wan looked hurt when she said this. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you mad, but I am glad that you said that...what was his name... Bruck Chun, wasn't your friend."

    Obi-Wan smiled, then he asked a question that had been bothering him since he and Qui-Gon walked in. "What are you doing here?"

    Rela looked surprised by this question. "I work here," she answered, "that package I delivered today was Corellian whiskey."

    Now Obi-Wan was looked confused and Rela felt that she needed to explain. "Do you mind if I sit down, this may take awhile. Anyway you never answered my question, where is Qui-Gon?"

    "He's over there." Obi-Wan pointed at the bar where Qui-Gon stood. Rela watched Qui-Gon suspiciously, what is he doing talking to Els, when Obi-Wan, that's a mouthful of a name to even
     
  11. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    Good! Now keep going!
     
  12. MrsKenobi

    MrsKenobi Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 1999
    Good job, mouse2, I really like it I was just wondering, how old is Obi-wan in this story?
     
  13. The Musical Jedi

    The Musical Jedi Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 13, 1999
    Great job! MOREMOREMOREMOREMOremoremoremoremoremoremoremoremoremore . . . . *trails off muttering to herself, grinning*
     
  14. Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi

    Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 14, 1999
    Kewl Another JA story!
    [Mr. Burns]Excellent, Smithers. Excellent.[/Mr. Burns]
     
  15. mouse2

    mouse2 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 29, 1999
    Thank you all for the comments. They really inspire me to write more.

    I'm working on more of the story at the moment. Hopefully I will be posting more tomorrow.

    The answer to you question MrsKenobi will be in the next post. I feel so honored to have Kit' and JOWK lurking on my thread.
     
  16. Jedi Gryph Grin

    Jedi Gryph Grin Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 25, 1999
  17. MrsKenobi

    MrsKenobi Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 1999
    Thank you, mouse2! Yay, more post coming soon
     
  18. Kit'

    Kit' Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Oct 30, 1999
    YAhooooooo! I thought that this thread had dissapeared! but luckily it hasn't

    Hmmm, point of interest but MUS in latin means mouse! Ironic name for a wookie.

    Thanks for reading my story Mouse[/i] there is a new bit up at the moment!

    See ya
    Kithera
     
  19. mouse2

    mouse2 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 29, 1999
    Thank you all for posting. As I promised here's more. Its a short one, but if you like I will post either more later today or tomorrow. Comments are always welcome!

    *************

    Chapter 4

    Obi-Wan Kenobi was lost in thought as he followed his master, Qui-Gon, to meet with the Jedi Council. The council was made up of twelve Jedi, who were usually masters, and they were the ruling force of the Jedi. They were responsible for sending out Jedi on missions to help the relations of the Republic. Obi-Wan had been before the council numerous of times in his seventeen years for either assignments that he and Qui-Gon were sent on or the times he was being disciplined for something or other. None of his past appearances was on his mind at the moment. The only thing that was on Obi-Wan?s mind was the events that had transpired the night before. Only one thought that kept going around in his mind was, how is Qui-Gon going to get the council to agree on letting Rela go with us?

    //Keep your mind on the present, Obi-Wan.// Qui-Gon told him through their bond.

    //Yes, Master.// Obi-Wan answered.

    Obi-Wan dutifully followed his master as they entered the Jedi Council. As soon as they entered the council chamber Obi-Wan noticed two other Jedi. Then he recognized them and it took all of his Jedi training not to scream out. Master Kelmi Tiros stood there with her Padawan, Bruck Chun.

    ?On this assignment, work together, you must.? Master Yoda told them. ?Go to Selyr, you will. Let them know you are Jedi, you will not.?

    ?The revolution that threatens this planet must be avoided at all costs.? added Mace Windu. ?Something or someone is provoking these uprisings that are occurring. You must find out what it is and stop it at all costs. ?

    ?Yes, Mater Windu.? answered Kelmi Tiros. ?May I ask why this Selyr is so important??

    ?It is considered a halfway point to travelers and that?s its major source of income.? Master Windu told them. ?All types of beings stop there and some of the more wealthy ones stay longer than needed. Although the credits spent are certainly welcome.?

    ?With an uprising occurring most beings will stay as far away as possible, correct?

    ?Correct, Master Jinn.?

    ?Great disturbance, I feel. Find out what, you must.? Then Yoda paused and looked at Qui-Gon. ?Something to ask, you have Master Jinn??

    ?Yes, Master.? he answered. ?About a promise I made. I want to take a fifth person along, who is not a Jedi, but with their talents will help us greatly.?

    ?How do feel about taking this extra person along, Master Tiros??

    ?If Master Jinn believes that they will be an asset to our assignment then I will agree with him.? she answered. ?Although I do not intend to compromise the safety of myself or my Padawan for this person.? Bruck turned to smirk at Obi-Wan after hearing this.

    ?Go with you, she will. Hard to see her future is. Go get her, you will not. Meet you she will.?

    ?Yes, Master Yoda.? Qui-Gon answered him. Obi-Wan realized that Master Yoda knew who Rela was, and that she was more important to this mission than any of them realized.
     
  20. Darth Pipes

    Darth Pipes Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 12, 1999
  21. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    My curiosity is definitely piqued. Now carry on!
     
  22. MrsKenobi

    MrsKenobi Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 1999
    AHA! So he's the same age as Rela, huh?...

    Eirtae Kenobi
     
  23. mouse2

    mouse2 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 29, 1999
    Yes they are the same age, but they don't act like it. Well you'll see. As I promised here's more.
    ***************

    Of all the mornings she couldn?t sleep. I worked until closing, faced down a drunk Rodian, updated the books, and Els gives me the morning off, and what happens? I lay here for hours staring at the ceiling. Well, might as well get up and do something constructive. She didn?t move hoping that she might fall asleep since she decided to get up. It didn?t work. Rela finally gave up and dragged herself out of bed. She got dressed in her normal everyday outfit of dark wine colored breeches, black knee length boots and cream colored tunic. While she was fastening on her belt which held her blaster on one hip and data pad on the other, she saw her reflection in the mirror. All she saw was a curly mass of red hair cascading past her shoulders, and all she could think of was how much trouble it brought her.

    ?I am not in the mood to deal with you today!? she exclaimed to her reflection. ?Definitely no braiding today! Your just getting pulled back and out of my way!? With that, she grabbed her hair tie and began pulling her hair back as she walked towards her kitchen. Lost in her own thoughts, Rela gazed out the window as dawn crept over the horizon. The lights sparkled off the buildings like they were made of gold and diamonds. Rela didn?t notice any of it. The only thoughts that were going through her head were about the conversation that she had the night before.

    She?s dying.

    She wants to see you.

    Damn you Qui-Gon Jinn! You are the only person that could even make me consider doing something for her. Anyway, why now. What has that woman ever done for me, except get rid of me? Something doesn?t feel right about this.

    ?Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!? she yelled at herself. ?I have to get out of here and get my mind on something else. I might as well go to work. I know that I can find some sort of mind numbing work there. Like that freezer unit that has been on the fritz for who knows how long. The first thing I need to do is get out of here.? Rela started towards the door of her apartment, but at the last minute ran back to her bedroom and grabbed a hand-sized rectangular pack and attacked it to her belt as she walked back to her front door. As Rela was leaving she caught sight for her neighbor, Mrs. Krabople. Please, please, please, let me get past her without her noticing me.

    ?Good morning, Rela. Since your on your way out, could you help me with something??

    ?Good morning, Mrs. Krabople. What do you need me to fix today?? Rela sighed.

    ?Well, its silly actually.? she started. ?Its my door code. I forgot it, and I?m afraid to shut and lock my door.?

    ?Mrs. Krabople, how do you keep forgetting your own birthday?? Rela asked her with an innocent looking face. Rela couldn?t help but scream in her head, no really, how do you forget YOUR OWN BIRTHDAY!

    ?That really is silly isn?t it? Where are you going so early this morning??

    ?To work. I couldn?t sleep, so I thought I could catch up on some things that I?ve been putting off.?

    ?What is a nice girl like you doing working in a nasty place like that disgusting den evil??

    ?It?s not so bad, Mrs. Krabople. Most beings go there to get away from everyday life. You know a chance to be someone else, if only for a short time.? Like me, Rela told herself. A nice girl, Mrs. Krabople if you only knew. I was involved with such a bad crowd that a Jedi Master had to drag me away for my ?own good? as he put it. ?If you?ll excuse me, I really need to get going.?

    ?Certainly, Rela. Have a good day, and if you get a chance look for some better type of work.?

    ?Yes ma?am.? Rela laughed back. Then she started towards the cantina as fast as she could get away.



    [This message has been edited by mouse2 (edited 01-21-2000).]
     
  24. Jedi Gryph Grin

    Jedi Gryph Grin Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 25, 1999
  25. Alli-Wan

    Alli-Wan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 21, 1999
    Very good! More! More!
     
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