Saga Quagmire (AU, L/M others around ROTJ) Part 1 completed 29th. September

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by kataja, Jun 14, 2010.

  1. kataja

    kataja Jedi Master star 4

    May 4, 2007
    This is a fic I've been working on for some time now and also my first full length story. I hope you enjoy! Replies are - as always - most welcome!

    I also want to thank H666 and Cat's Cradle for support and marvellous frodogenic [:D] for beta and constructive comments!!!

    Title: Quagmire
    Author: Kataja
    Genre: AU
    Status: Part 1 Completed
    Characters: Luke, Leia, Han, Mara Jade, Shira Brie, Deena Shan, others from OT and EU from that time-frame
    Timeframe: From a few days before ROTJ to a few hours after it; in this fic that?s stretching to several weeks.
    Setting: After months of search, Han Solo is still missing. Together, Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Lando Calrissian and Chewbacca have scoured the galaxy to find their friend, but so far without luck. In between the searching Luke and Leia spend their time to solve shorter missions for the Alliance.
    Note 1: This story is AU. However, when nothing else is mentioned, events will follow ROTJ.
    Note 2: Quagmire is the first part of a planned, three-part story.
    Disclaimer: All things Star Wars belongs to George Lucas. I?m just playing in his sandbox.


    chapter 1 - Onerous secrets

    It emerged out of the blackness of space, shining like a white jewel against the darkness and the faintly winking stars, its smooth organic shape lending the huge ship almost the air of a living, breathing creature. Home One; the pride of Mon Calamari?s ship factories, the largest ship in the Rebel fleet; the heart of the Rebel Alliance.

    ?All right, Artoo? Luke said, taking a deep breath. ?We?re home.?

    The little astromech droid answered with a long series of happy beeps and twiddles, but Luke failed to follow the translation on his screen for the queer feeling that suddenly cramped his stomach with an intensity taking him quite aback. Home?

    This was his base, his refuge. Here, where he?d finally been able to chase his dreams, where his friends were, here where he felt like home? Where he had felt like home.

    The churning feeling in his stomach just wouldn?t go away. Why had so many things changed lately?

    Luke squeezed the yoke, knowing for sure that he had never wanted it to happen. In one fatal moment his world had turned upside down, and from there the speed of change had raced out of his control. He was still stumbling to catch up.

    * * *

    It was with a deep sigh of relief that Luke finally set his feet on the docking floor. While he loved flying ? truly, deeply ? it was inevitable that the narrow size of the small starfighter made longer trips an uncomfortable experience.

    Stretching aching arms and legs to ease cramping muscles, Luke hesitated a moment, wondering with a sting of disquiet whether he should help Artoo out by using the Force. The maintenance droid effectively relieved him of the decision by lifting the little astromech down to the deck, and Luke sighed again. It was strange, he reflected, that he was less keen to practice his Force abilities nowadays, when he actually had something to show. The eager young Luke of old wouldn?t have hesitated a second, would happily have grabbed any chance to feel like a Jedi, not caring a whit about the attention. Well. Things had changed?

    The little droid turned his sensors towards him, happily unaware of his master?s troubles. His satisfied beeping caused Luke to smile again.

    ?Yeah, it?s good to be back,? he agreed. ?But first of all I need a sanisteam and then I have a report to write. You just go ahead and find Threepio.?

    Artoo whistled a question and Luke?s smile widened to a grin. ?Sure, I think he?s missed you too. Don?t worry, I?ll let you know if I need you.?

    The droid rolled off in one direction and Luke set off towards his cabin.

    ?Hey! Luke!?

    The young Jedi turned at the call and his face lit up. ?Wedge!?

    The two friends bumped into a hearty embrace, slapping each other on the back.

    ?When did you return?? Luke asked. ?It feels like an ete
  2. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Aug 31, 2004
    Luke's turmoil of emotions is perfectly realistic for this time and very well detailed. =D=

    I feel I'm back in ROTS-land.


  3. Jedi_BMK

    Jedi_BMK Jedi Padawan star 4

    Sep 10, 2004
    Luke's not exactly in the best state of mind here, but it makes sense for when this is taking place. Nice work showing how he's trying to work through the bombshell Vader dropped on him.

    Looking forward to more.
  4. frodogenic1

    frodogenic1 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Apr 21, 2008
    I'm so happy to see it all nice and shiny and posted! You know, I'd almost forgotten what was IN the first chapter, it's been so long since I sent it back to you... *headdesk* I hope there shall be more Rogues, as I like them very much. :)
  5. Valiowk

    Valiowk Chosen One star 6

    Apr 23, 2000
    Luke's confusion is understandable - anybody would feel like that if somebody had just dropped a bombshell of this magnitude ("I am your father") on them. Glad to see that Rogue Squadron is giving him lots of support. :)

    You mentioned that "In between the searching Luke and Leia spend their time to solve shorter missions for the Alliance." I'm curious about the overall structure this fic will have: will it feel like several small stories linked together by an overarching thread, which is the search for Han? Just curious because I don't think I've seen a fanfic with that structure before. But whatever the structure, I'm sure this will end up being a great story! Would you happen to keep a PM list?
    Jedi Knight Fett likes this.
  6. kataja

    kataja Jedi Master star 4

    May 4, 2007
    Jade-eyes!!! :D [:D]
    Thank you!!! Yeah, writing this fic was returning for me too - to ESB and the loooong wait for ROTJ. But the challenge is of course to really go that far back, and un-learn all we've learned since then. I hope I manage. :p

    I'm so glad you think I captured Luke's character right! No, he's definitely not feeling great here. But you know our Tatooine boy, he'll find his way anyway! ;)

    Frodo [:D] [:D]
    Yeah, I'm so happy too! [face_blush] And that's thanks to you!!!!@};- There will definitely be more Rogues and I hope I write them likable 'cause that will be an important point at some point [face_mischief]

    Thank you so very much!!! :) Yes, the Rogues are invaluable to Luke, even though they maybe don't understand his situation.
    I'm curious about the overall structure this fic will have: will it feel like several small stories linked together by an overarching thread, which is the search for Han? Just curious because I don't think I've seen a fanfic with that structure before.
    I don't think I've seen that either - and that's actually a good idea...[face_thinking] But no, this story (this first part) is "one" story - and as for the search of Han... well, you'll get your answer soon...;)

    Thanks for reading everybody!!! [:D] Chapter two will be up soon!
    And please tell me if you want on the PM list.
  7. kataja

    kataja Jedi Master star 4

    May 4, 2007

    Chapter 2 - Moving out

    Early next morning, Luke was pulling on his boots, only half dressed in trousers, when his door com buzzed.

    ?Come in,? he yelled without thinking.

    ?Hi Ace.?

    Luke jumped in surprise. It was the last person he?d expected. ?Er, hi Shira.?

    Hands clasped behind her back, Shira strode briskly into his cabin, tilting her head in approval as she took in Luke?s shirtless state. ?Well, well,? she stated blithely. ?I see that I didn?t wake you. You?re up early??

    Luke scrambled to find his composure. Shira had never been in his cabin before. Suddenly the space felt very cramped, her eyes and movements seeming to fill it all. ?Yeah, uh, I? hey, wait a minute! Did you expect to find me sleeping here??

    ?Maybe I was hoping to,? she suggested, letting her eyes run impishly over Luke?s exposed torso. ?I think I was, yeah.?

    Luke swallowed, searching for a reply, but it escaped him. Their eyes locked as Shira slowly started to move closer, causing Luke almost to backstep. He caught himself, provoked with his own lack of resolve. He wasn?t exactly threatened here, he reminded himself, and if Shira wanted to come closer he might as well see what her next move would be?

    Images of her ?next move? immediately started to flash through his mind and his mouth went completely dry. Shira?s expression was a strange mixture of playful amusement and commitment. Now she was at armslength from him, gods, how her lips looked alluring, why had he never noticed it before?! He could feel, actually feel the curves of her body against his own even though he wasn?t touching her - even though he was forcing himself to not so much as look at it!

    Tugging her hand up from behind her back, Shira held a datacard up to his nose. ?The trouble is; Admiral Gelsk said this couldn?t wait.?

    ?Huh? Oh!? Luke accepted the card automatically. Shira was already stepping back, turning to smile easily at him over her shoulder.

    Luke?s returning smile came much more effortlessly now that she was a few paces away. He waved the datapad in the air, knowing it to be his official absence-from-duty permit; he?d sent the request in last night with Leia?s recommendation. ?Thanks.?

    Shira tilted her head, graciously. ?You?re welcome. Care to join me for breakfast when you?re decent??

    Luke shook his head. ?Sorry, no.?

    ?You?re no fun,? Shira sighed, clicking her tongue. ?And Rebel Girls Rule Number Four states that men who aren?t fun will have to pay.?

    Luke couldn?t help grinning. ?Pay? Uh oh. May I ask in what manner??

    ?Hmm. Let?s see.? She pursed her lips. ?The retribution must correspond to the offence, of course. Since you refuse to join me for breakfast, the evident consequence would be that you take me to dinner.?

    ?Dinner?? Luke echoed, not believing his ears. ?On Home One? Where? The mess??

    Shira shrugged. ?Why not? Or in your cabin, I don?t care. What I want is to be able to dress up in something other than these horrid coveralls.? She picked at her utensils with obvious dissatisfaction.

    Luke thought she looked terrific?she always did, no matter what she wore?and for a moment he considered telling her so. Then he thought better of it. Even though Shira?s promotion had put them on a level playing field, he?d better not add fuel to the flames, especially not as he was about to deliver another disappointment.

    ?Okay,? he told her. ?But I?m afraid it will have to wait a while. I?ll be leaving as soon as I?ve dressed. Chewie and Lando have found Han.?

    Shira caught her breath. ?Hey, that?s wonderful news! Where is he? How did they find him??

    Unexpectedly, Luke felt a strange hesitation in the back of his mind. He trusted Shira, of course he did? yet? The Empire was on Luke?s heels as well as Leia?s, it had spies everywhere, even here on Home One, and the fewer who knew anything about their plans, the better.

    ?Yeah, it?s great, isn?t it?? he said instead. ?But I?m afraid that I don?t have any details yet. I only received the message last n
  8. Valiowk

    Valiowk Chosen One star 6

    Apr 23, 2000
    Interesting to see Luke managing to convince Leia not to be too reckless. Most of the time we see our characters displaying too much recklessness, so this is a nice change.

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] Why do I get the feeling that Jabba would speedily send his gift back? ;)

    Lovely insight into Luke's introspection! =D=

    Thanks for the PM! :)
    Jedi Knight Fett likes this.
  9. Jedi_BMK

    Jedi_BMK Jedi Padawan star 4

    Sep 10, 2004
    Why do I get the feeling Luke will need to cancel those dinner plans he made?

    [face_laugh] That's just a great line. Of course, Han would do it since he would think he was punishing Jabba. :p

    Looking forward to seeing the action at Jabba's palace. Something tells me there will be some turns coming up soon. Please add me to the PM list.
  10. blank101

    blank101 Jedi Knight star 2

    Nov 20, 2008

    Woo! [face_dancing] How have I missed this?! Please put me on the PM's :D

    Okay, let's see. Well, I really enjoyed reading about Luke's struggle to work through all that happened to him on Bespin, groping for answers in the fragments of the truth that he now has. And I loved the idea that he was, on some level, using Han's rescue as a way to avoid having to face the whole truth, when he returned to Dagobah. Very nice twist.

    -----The two friends bumped into a hearty embrace,------
    This was a great phrase, 'bumping into an embrace', I pictured it perfectly, the exuberance and energy. :)

    -----""He watched Luke close up tighter than a Mon Calamari oyster,""-----

    Great Star Wars lore there - I love in-galaxy references like that [face_peace]

    -----""C?mon, Luke. It would probably do you a galaxy of good. You've been wound up tighter than a Twi?lek's thong since Hoth""---

    [face_laugh] =D= [face_laugh]

    Chapter Two:-

    Hotting up now =D=

    -----""He leaned towards her and caught her keen surprise as their lips closed in. Then panic lurched again and he craned his head just enough to hit her cheek instead. Shira, however, didn?t pull back and Luke had to give her another quick kiss to retain the initiative. It hit somewhere between her mouth and chin before he hurried to withdraw.""-----

    Aw, this is so painfully endearing! You have a great knack for putting poor Luke into the most toe-curlingly embarassing moments, that I always feel for him!

    -----""none of them nourished the illusion that there was an actor hidden somewhere deep below those golden plates.""-----

    I grinned at that double-meaning ;)

    Really nice summing up of the muddled feelings between Luke and Leia, as well as Luke's telling her off for being too reckless - he's the big brother already [face_mischief]

    Looking forward to more, Kataja[face_peace]

    =D= =D=

  11. darkladypurplepencil

    darkladypurplepencil Jedi Knight star 2

    Jan 16, 2006
    Very awesome. If you're keeping a PM list, please add me!

  12. kataja

    kataja Jedi Master star 4

    May 4, 2007
    Yes, Luke's not entirely himself here. Or, rather - he's trying to be different than he is. ;) I'm so glad you're enjoying the introspection [:D] - I often fear I have far too much of that stuff![face_worried]


    To give Threepio to Jabba would be some punishment, wouldn't it? :p Luke councel dinner plans? Naah, he's far too polite for that - but Shira should prepare for some delays. We'll be with Jabba for the next two chapters - and you're right - there will be some turns - hang on! :D

    Hi! Good to see you! [:D]
    I'm so glad you enjoy! Here in the start I'm afraid I use a lot of space on trying to vision - very un-AU-like - exactly where Luke is in relation to ESB an ROTJ.

    I have a knack on putting Luke in embarrassing situations? Hmm... I swear I have no idea what you're talking about! O:) [face_devil] But it's not that I like to see him in pain - it's because I think he takes it so well and always learns something! :D

    Yay! Someone caught that!!!:D

    Can I call you that?
    Thanks! I'm thrilled you enjoy! More tomorrow!

    The PM list this far looks like follows:

    Please tell me if you want on the list - and a huges thank you all who have taken time to reply!!! It's much appreciated!!! [:D] [:D] [:D]
  13. kataja

    kataja Jedi Master star 4

    May 4, 2007

    Chapter 3 - In Jabba?s Palace

    Mara Jade didn?t care much for her new room. Wrinkling her nose, she let her eyes slowly wander over the scarce, dull furnishings and dusty walls of the former cell in the old Monastery, finding only one good thing to say about it: it was a single room. On further reflection, she decided that the likely reason why a dancing girl was allowed such a luxury was even more disgusting than the room itself. No matter how professionally objective she prided herself on being, she loathed the idea of prostituting herself in order to keep her cover ? and Jabba the Hutt?s Palace held nothing but the galaxy?s worst collection of creeps!

    Mara shrugged the unsavory thought away, confident that the problem wouldn?t arise on this mission. According to her information, her target would arrive soon. She could easily keep the eager or the curious away from her for a few days. And when the target was eliminated, she would vanish again without a trace. Like she always did.

    She opened her bags and nimbly began to transfer their contents into the dusty closet of the room. The fact that she?d be leaving in a few days was not supposed to be common knowledge, after all. Tracing a finger over a shelf, she wrinkled her nose again. The thin gray layer wasn?t dust but fine, powdery sand. A thought struck her and she stepped to the bed, pulling back the sheets. Sand again! Everywhere on this blasted planet. Mara made a foul face as the solitude enticed some private feelings to break through her meticulous composure. Skywalker had better arrive soon!

    Being a light traveller, it didn?t take her long to move in. Still in no hurry to be introduced to her new boss, she entertained herself with lining up her cosmetics into a veritable battery, complete with ranks and files, on the small table. With a small sting of annoyance she realized that she probably wouldn?t be able to bring back her cosmetics from this mission either. A pity, really. She had spent some time making the brand new beauty implements look used and well worn.

    Running out of things to arrange, Mara contemplated her reflection in the dusty mirror. Her dress was skin-tight and revealing, just as it should be. It had a fair amount of glitter stitched onto it and was in no way refined, also as intended. Her hair? She hesitated a bit. Tatooine?s heat and desiccated air had deflated all its volume and evaporated its gloss, leaving the tresses to droop miserably around her face. She could always take it up, of course. But that would draw attention to her graceful neck and fine features, and the last thing she needed to look like right now was a girl with style. On the other hand, her hairpiece could hide an ultra-miniature hold-out blaster - able to fire three shots ? and there was no other place she could hide it, her dress being as tight as it could be.

    Mara pulled a statbrush through her redgold tresses and wondered if she?d made a mistake by not dying it for this assignment. A sharper shade of red would have appeared trashier. Well, it was too late for that now. She put the hairpiece into place, then traced her eyes with ten times as much eyeliner as she usually used. As finishing touch she took her lip paint and adjusted it to a deep, ruby color. A second later, on a whim of inspiration, she adjusted the color again. She waited for a moment while the tiny gears whirred to change the chemistry of the pigment, then painted her mouth. She smiled wickedly at her own reflection. Perfect! Her lips now had exactly the same red-orange shade as her hair, leaving both to look garishly unnatural and cheaply exotic.

    On her way out of the room she wondered once again whether she possibly could find a place on herself to hide a larger blaster, but abandoned the thought - in this dress it was simply impossible, even for her. Completely unnecessary too; Jabba the Hutt?s Palace practically teemed with firearms.
    She hoped quietly Skywalker would arrive soon ? long waits were part and parcel of the life of an assassin, but she
  14. blank101

    blank101 Jedi Knight star 2

    Nov 20, 2008

    I really liked the details about Mara's 'moving in'. Lots of great little elements thrown in there, like hanging clothes to look like she was staying, and ageing all her make-up before she arrived.

    --""despite being a remarkably diminutive woman, seated on a low, filthy cot, [Leia] nonetheless managed to look down on the tall Twi?lek.""--

    Heh - really sums Leia up.

    --""While the rancor didn?t manage to dispatch Skywalker, the Jedi hardly demonstrated any show-stopping talents either. Sure, he kept his head most the time, but in the end when the beast attacked him, he threw a simple stone to activate the gate and crush its skull, instead of reaching out with the Force. Mara shook her head. Was Skywalker really such a bungler? Or was he trying to fool everybody to believe that he had so little control of things?""--

    Ha! Interesting...[face_thinking] You always manage to find a new angle! :D

    The scene in the dungeons is all kindsa' yeuch! [face_sick]

    A great little slice of 'unseen'. You have a real knack for making the very gritty and graphic starkly unsentimental. I'd always seek to soften it, but you tell it like it is, which is such a bold way to write.

    You have me hooked and, as ever, looking forward to more, [face_peace]

  15. darkladypurplepencil

    darkladypurplepencil Jedi Knight star 2

    Jan 16, 2006
    A great retelling of those scenes! I especially loved the Mara/Leia interaction.

    And yes, you may absolutely call me DLPP.

  16. Jedi_BMK

    Jedi_BMK Jedi Padawan star 4

    Sep 10, 2004
    Having Mara encounter Leia like that was a nice touch. Actually, getting her view on Jabba's palace is pretty cool in general.

    I loved Luke doing the mind trick from within his cell. Definitely something he would do. Help out others even if he's locked up.
  17. frodogenic1

    frodogenic1 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Apr 21, 2008
    I like Mara and Leia too! I think I've only realized it in the last few weeks. Quite the revelation how entertaining those two can be together. :)

    Blank, I think I about laughed out a lung when I read your response...

    "You have a real knack for making the very gritty and graphic starkly unsentimental. I'd always seek to soften it..."

    I totally agree except for the part about yourself, because as far as I can remember I've never seen a character get beaten up so much in a fic as poor Luke did in parts one and two of your epic trilogy. :) I shudder to think what the unsoftened version would look like...
  18. Valiowk

    Valiowk Chosen One star 6

    Apr 23, 2000
    Awesome update! =D= It was very interesting to see Jabba's palace through Mara's eyes and to read about the interaction between Mara and Leia - something could definitely come out of it if they spend a little bit more time together. Your descriptions are very vivid and give a very clear idea of the discomforts of living on a hot and sandy planet like Tatooine. And how ironic that Mara would be applying make-up to look worse, not better!

    Hm, I wonder whether Mara realised that she successfully used some Force persuasion here? [face_thinking]

    I'm really enjoying seeing each of our main characters through one another's eyes - you give a very refreshing perspective on each of them! :)
    Jedi Knight Fett likes this.
  19. kataja

    kataja Jedi Master star 4

    May 4, 2007
    blank :D
    I'm glad the details were good and not boring - and I'm not sure that being an assassin is all that exciting most of the time!
    The rancorscene - I was trying like mad to find a "reason" for Luke using the Force so little there - it stroke me as odd already back in 1983 :p But in the end I've decided he must have panicked too! ;)
    Dungeonscene - thanks (a lot!) - I think O:) - but, uh, I'm not with you on that 'you "always seek to soften it", not at all!!! I'm with Frodo there! [face_mischief]

    Thanks! :) Yes, Leia & Mara have all chances being pretty awesome together! It's a pitty they're generally not written together more!

    I'm so glad you liked! [:D] And I agree - Luke would always try to help someone he thinks is "innocent" and in need of help. And after becoming Jedi he'd consider it his duty even more... More from Mara's POW in next chapter.

    I agree - Me too - and I so agree! [face_laugh]


    Aww! Thank you so much!!![face_blush] I'm so glad if I managed to angle this to be interesting - it was in a way a "fill in" chapter to get the characters moved into places - but I had to try to make it interesting to myself as well:p
    And how ironic that Mara would be applying make-up to look worse, not better!

    Yeah - she's a professional - she'd do anything her job requires...
  20. kataja

    kataja Jedi Master star 4

    May 4, 2007
    Quagmire - Chapter 4

    On the Khetanna

    Jabba?s ?court? was about the most textbook case of primitive culture any sociologist could ask for, Mara decided; and the atmosphere aboard the sail barge confirmed this better than anything. The guests on the Khetanna became more and more drunk, obviously seeing the upcoming execution as an entertaining event only. Mara snorted to herself. What chance did this inebriated mob think it had of killing a Jedi?

    Still, a court of this size also needed capable people around to run the barge; present on the Khetanna was also a relatively large group of guards and bounty hunters who never relaxed, who could hold their liquor and never lost their edge. Despite that, Mara had no plans trusting any of them to handle the job of killing Skywalker alone. It was clear that the Jedi and his friends had some kind of a plan, and Mara knew better than to underestimate an opponent. Luke Skywalker might be a farmboy gone astray, but he had nonetheless survived four years of warfare against the Empire; in itself quite an achievement. He had also managed to avoid the clutches of Lord Vader all these years ? Vader, who had captured thousands of other Jedi in the past. Either the Dark Lord was slipping or Skywalker was really, really good. Add the destruction of the Death Star and the annihilation of Prince Xizor and his Black Sun organization, and it made an impressive record.

    Princess Leia hovered by the window of the barge, biting her lip, hands clenched into fists. Was she purely nervous ? or expecting to leap into action any second? Mara followed her gaze to the prisoner?s skiff where Skywalker, Solo and the Wookiee were being transported to their execution. She had heard rumors that the Corellian and Organa were lovers. On the other hand, she?d also heard rumors about the Princess and Skywalker, and it might well be that neither were to be believed. Neither - or both, she reflected dryly.

    Be that as it may, the Princess was certainly indifferent to neither of them, and they were unquestionably close to her, as well as to each other and the Wookiee. Mara knew that the common record of those four went as far back as the Death Star. It must be a strange thing, she mused, to share so much history with other people, so many deadly situations. Mara herself had always operated alone. The only person she served, answered, or committed herself to was her Master. Everybody else she dealt with was just a temporary tool, amusement, indifference or annoyance.

    It had always been this way; she couldn?t even remember her parents anymore, though she knew she?d once had a memory of them. She didn?t miss them. Attachments were a weakness, a loss of control. She was content with her ideals for a better galaxy and she took pride in serving the only man who could realize them.

    Unfortunately, not even her Master could save the galaxy when he had such stubborn enemies. Which was why he needed her. Mara turned her attention back to the stubborn enemy currently in question. He looked harmless ? innocent even, with his sandy hair and boyish face. Beside the tall Corellian and the Wookiee he seemed like a hardly-grown youngster. Which was - of course ? all too misleading. Skywalker might be young, idealistic even, but he was also a committed radical, prepared to sacrifice other people?s lives in order to fulfill his own goals. Also, she hadn?t forgotten his unshakable whisper the evening before; there was no end to the damage a ruthless outlaw with such abilited could do to his surroundings. None the less, Mara felt confident that she could take him out. The problem was ? how? The most straightforward strategy would be to pinch a blaster and shoot him down right now. However, if Skywalker?s danger sense was even half as good as her own ? and he was a Jedi, so it was probably much better than that - he would sense the threat, duck and maybe even manage to take cover; after all he was only tied by his hands. Mara, meanwhile, would have the entire sail barge turning ag
  21. Valiowk

    Valiowk Chosen One star 6

    Apr 23, 2000
    Lots of action here! As usual, you have wonderfully vivid battle scenes.

    Interesting that Mara was confident enough of herself to think that Vader might want to work together with her initially, yet she doubts her abilities in the Force...

    Intriguing first encounter between Luke and Mara - Luke seems to have sensed far less than what Mara was worried he might - although it might just be a good thing not to get too suspicious of somebody during your first meeting with them!

    Oh, Luke, I don't think "upside down" quite covers it well enough... ;)

    Great update! =D=
  22. Jedi_BMK

    Jedi_BMK Jedi Padawan star 4

    Sep 10, 2004
    Mara just can't win here can she? (Aside from that whole Luke saving her thing of course) She missed her target three times and ended up with a nasty gash in her leg.

    *Falls on floor laughing. Gets up and tries to picture Lando as a Jedi. Falls back to floor laughing even harder.*

    The Force never makes sense at the time, does it? It must explain why Jedi are so cryptic. They're just permanently confused.

    Why do I get the feeling that's going to end up being an understatement?

    I liked seeing the sail barge scene from Mara's perspective and with your twists. Nice job using familiar imagery in a different way.

    Looking forward to seeing more (like whether Mara tries to kill Luke again).
  23. Piper057

    Piper057 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Nov 26, 2009
    Wow, so many interesting twists in this story. I really like this version of RotJ - maybe even more than canon *whispers and runs away*
    The plan of Han's escape always seemed a little too... improvising))) You filled the gaps wonderfully))
  24. Jedi_QueenBee

    Jedi_QueenBee Jedi Youngling star 3

    Sep 5, 2008
    I wonder if Shira and Mara will come face to face.
  25. blank101

    blank101 Jedi Knight star 2

    Nov 20, 2008

    Yaay, sail barge action!

    This clipped along at a great pace - all very enjoyable! :D And lots of little nods to the original too, which was great fun and locked the moments down perfectly.

    -----?It must be a strange thing, she mused, to share so much history with other people,?-----

    Nice little aside about Mara's mindset and life, there.

    -----?The only person she served, answered, or committed herself to was her Master. Everybody else she dealt with was just a temporary tool, amusement, indifference or annoyance.?-----

    And another great slice of Mara-psychology! :)

    -----Mara cursed quietly and pulled her small hold-out blaster from her hair decoration, aiming and shooting almost in the same movement. Just as she pulled the trigger, a jet motor pack started right behind her, making her jump. Her shot hit the skiff, almost a meter from the Jedi, and one of the worst she?d ever fired-----

    Heh ? you even got in that near-miss that hit the rail! =D=

    -----?My, my. If swinging around with gorgeous ladies is one of your usual job benefits, Luke, I might try this Jedi thing myself!?-----

    :rolleyes: o_O Oh, Lando! LOL!

    ------Luke blinked. Leia asked him for advice? Great. Why did she always do that when he was at a complete loss for what to do?-----

    Heh ? oh yeah, been there..... o_O

    Great chapter, Kataja. Loved the pacing and the action. Looking forward to more [face_peace]