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Before - Legends Qui-Gon Jinn Challenge Thread - Note on first post

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Jinn is MINE, May 12, 2005.

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  1. SakuraTsukikage

    SakuraTsukikage Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 24, 2005
    Oh--that was so, so sweet. So sweet.

    I don't know what else to say. As usual, incredible job. You have such a gift for bringing out emotions in your writing. It was bittersweet because of the situation, but the sweet outbalances the bitter. Drunk!Obi-Wan has got to be one of the cuter things ever . . . [face_love].

    When he woke, Obi-Wan would remember nothing of the night. It would be swept away, to be replaced with perfectly measured, unfailingly balanced Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon regretted that the moment would be forsaken, knowing that he already counted it among the finest of his life.

    Such a perfect ending, because that's Obi-Wan, and that's Qui-Gon. I don't know how else to say it.

    I loved it. [face_love] [face_love]
     
  2. ardavenport

    ardavenport Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 2004
    Thanks for the comments on my last stories....yeah, I like to think that even joined-to-the-Force-Qui-Gon would take a little pleasure in his role-reversal with Yoda.

    Aaaaah, it's that unguarded moment in your story with Obi-Wan admiring Qui-Gon's hair that brings out the emotion for both of them. And added to that, this little bit of foretelling for them...

    Qui-Gon leaned down until their foreheads met. His hair fell around them like a soft screen. ?Ill stay with you, Obi-Wan. Until the Force pries my fingers from this existence.?

    ?And after??

    The Master drew his protégé?s long braid around his finger. ?Always.?


    Very nicely done. :)=D=

     
  3. Lady_Snow_Kaguya

    Lady_Snow_Kaguya Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 9, 2005
    eeep...that was so lovely...sad that Obi-wan didn't recall it later...and the forshadowing..

    'always' that was the tear-jerker, right there
     
  4. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    From the darkness came a throaty cry. It trickled down to a whisper, soon joined by another hushed voice in laughter.

    Obi-Wan knit his brows. ?What?re they doing??

    The Master?s lips compressed as he glanced out the cell bars, thinking. ?They?re checking each other for injuries.? He informed Obi-Wan with every shred of conviction.


    Yeah, sure they are.

    This is so sad and sweet at the same time. I liked the way Obi-Wan was telling his master how much he loved him, by explaining about how he liked his hair.

    Qui-Gon followed the line of the apprentice?s brow with his thumb. ?I don?t wish that.? He said, voice taking on a serious timber, ?I wish for you to be yourself, Obi-Wan. Always.?

    A great line.

    Good job.
     
  5. Dragonlady

    Dragonlady Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 1, 2005
    LuvEwan--Wow. You never fail to pull at my heartstrings. That was achingly beautiful, and a joy to read. And it was the perfect crowning touch that Obi-Wan didn't remember. Just gorgeous, though I'd love the backstory...*grins*
     
  6. Kestrel_Kenobi

    Kestrel_Kenobi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 26, 2005
    LuvEwan - Beautiful...

    Qui-Gon felt a warm pain flourish in his chest, and his arms tightened around the relaxed body. Obi-Wan was staring openly at him, kindling a small, faint smile. And Qui-Gon forgot that they were sitting in the sullied gut of a prison cell, could not sense the other inhabitants as they shimmered out of existence. He only saw Obi-Wan, stripped of his customary reserve, looking at him with bright, welling adoration. He traced Obi-Wan?s round cheek with a finger. ?Thank you,? he whispered, ?I like your hair, too.?

    Gorgeous - loved it =D=
     
  7. Magenta_Moonshadow

    Magenta_Moonshadow Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2005
    Qui-Gon leaned down until their foreheads met. His hair fell around them like a soft screen. ?Ill stay with you, Obi-Wan. Until the Force pries my fingers from this existence.?

    ?And after??

    The Master drew his protégé?s long braid around his finger. ?Always.?


    Ohhh, that was so sad and beautiful! :_|
     
  8. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Community Squirrel Whisperer star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    LE... I can't type a content sigh. I always release one after reading a JA fic of yours. Can't say much more than how grateful I am you post here. [:D] [:D]
     
  9. ardavenport

    ardavenport Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 2004
    Title: Workplace Survey of Qui-Gon Jinn
    Author: ardavenport (aka Anne Davenport)
    Timeframe: pre-Episode I, pre-TPM
    Genre: humor, Qui-Gon Questionnaire Challenge
    Characters: Qui-Gon Jinn
    Keywords Qui-Gon Jinn, Questionnaire BfTS
    Summary: Qui-Gon answers questions
    Notes: This is complete silliness and the joke may not translate well for Jedi, but this kind of online questionnaire shows up where I work every so often, disappears for awhile and then the results resurface in a view-graph from the captain about how morale really isn?t that low. Seeing that the seat of galactic civilization is about to collapse in on the Jedi of Qui-Gon Jinn?s era, this seemed like the sort of thing that might be going around the Temple.


    Workplace Survey

    Choose a response:
    5 ? Strongly Agree
    4 ? Somewhat Agree
    3 ? Neutral
    2 ? Somewhat Disagree
    1 ? Strongly Disagree

    General Working Conditions

    (1.) I am satisfied with my work. _____ 1 __ 2 __ 3 __ 4 __{5}

    (2.) The Force is with me. _____ 1 __ 2 __ 3 __ 4 __{5}

    (3.) My interactions with the Jedi Council are good. _____ 1 __{2}__ 3 __ 4 __ 5

    (4.) I am successful in my assigned missions. _____ 1 __ 2 __ 3 __ 4 __{5}

    (5.) The Force flows through me. _____ 1 __ 2 __ 3 __ 4 __{5}

    (6.) My superiors approve of my work. _____ 1 __ 2 __{3}__ 4 __ 5

    (7.) I am mindful of the Jedi Code. _____ 1 __ 2 __{3}__ 4 __ 5

    (8.) I am strongest with the Unifying Force._____{1}__ 2 __ 3 __ 4 __ 5

    (9.) I work well with my fellow Jedi. _____ 1 __ 2 __ 3 __{4}__ 5

    (10.) My fellow Jedi work well with me. _____ 1 __{2}__ 3 __ 4 __ 5


    Answer Questions 11-18 if you have a Padawan Learner, otherwise skip to Question 19.

    (11.) My Padawan is strong with the Force. _____ 1 __ 2 __ 3 __ 4 __{5}

    (12.) My Padawan is obedient. _____ 1 __{2}__ 3 __ 4 __ 5

    (13.) Our missions together are successful. _____ 1 __ 2 __ 3 __{4}__ 5

    (14.) I trust my Padawan with my life. _____ 1 __ 2 __ 3 __ 4 __{5)

    (15.) Our relationship is harmonious. _____ 1 __{2}__ 3 __ 4 __ 5

    (16.) My Padawan is mindful of the Jedi Code. _____ 1 __ 2 __ 3 __ 4 __{5}

    (17.) My Padawan is mindful of his thoughts. _____ 1 __ 2 __ 3 __{4}__ 5

    (18.) My Padawan is mindful in general. _____ 1 __ 2 __ 3 __{4}__ 5


    Temple Facilities

    (19.) I am satisfied with my living space. _____ 1 __ 2 __ 3 __{4}__ 5

    (20.) I am satisfied with my assigned meditation areas. _____ 1 __ 2 __ 3 __{4}__ 5

    (21.) The dining areas are clean and well maintained. _____ 1 __ 2 __ 3 __{4}__ 5

    (22.) The Temple is strong with the Force. _____ 1 __ 2 __ 3 __ 4 __{5}

    (23.) I prefer to meditate while aimlessly walking in the halls. _____ 1 __ 2 __{3}__ 4 __ 5

    (24.) Training areas are available when I need them. _____ 1 __{2}__ 3 __ 4 __ 5

    (25.) I can generally find what I need in the Archives. _____ 1 __ 2 __ 3 __{4}__ 5

    (26.) The Archivists are helpful._____{1}__ 2 __ 3 __ 4 __ 5

    (27.) The medcenter is accommodating to my needs. _____ 1 __{2}__ 3 __ 4 __ 5

    (28.) The medcenter is well informed about me. _____ 1 __ 2 __ 3 __ 4 __{5}

    (29.) What are the most serene parts of the Temple?
    The parts strongest with the Living Force. The utility room on the 5th level, 3rd block is exceptional.

    (30.) What parts of the Temple do you think need improvement?
    The towers and the activities carried out in them appear to me to be superfluous.

    (31.) If there are any other issues that have not been covered by this survey, please list them here.
    I believe that we need fewer surveys.

    Thank you for your time. May the Force be with you.

     
  10. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] I'm giggling in my lab reading this. ardavenport, great job. I'd give this one a belly-laugh thumbs-up. [face_laugh]

    I especially loved the
    (30.) What parts of the Temple do you think need improvement?
    The towers and the activities carried out in them appear to me to be superfluous.


    and this
    (9.) I work well with my fellow Jedi. _____ 1 __ 2 __ 3 __{4}__ 5

    (10.) My fellow Jedi work well with me. _____ 1 __{2}__ 3 __ 4 __ 5


    What a unique way to do the Jinn survey!

     
  11. Princess_Arulmozhi

    Princess_Arulmozhi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 16, 2004
    LE: magnificent work, as usual, m'dear. Your words never fail to move me. And that touch about that couple 'checking for injuries'. [face_mischief] Loved the Qui-Obi mush. [face_love]

    Ardavenport: Now that's a novel way of gauging Qui-Gon's ...'feelings'. :D Wonderful!
     
  12. Lady_Snow_Kaguya

    Lady_Snow_Kaguya Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 9, 2005
    (26.) The Archivists are helpful._____{1}__ 2 __ 3 __ 4 __ 5

    [face_laugh] Oh, that was great...the bit about the tower was so cheeky!!!
     
  13. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    [face_laugh] That felt so real! It seemed like it really was Qui-Gon filling that out. Great job. =D=
     
  14. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    VERY cleverly done, ardavenport! =D= ;)
     
  15. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 28, 2003

    (27.) The medcenter is accommodating to my needs. _____ 1 __{2}__ 3 __ 4 __ 5

    (28.) The medcenter is well informed about me. _____ 1 __ 2 __ 3 __ 4 __{5}



    [face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh]

    Just hope my Jedi Healer doesn't get ahold of his survey response :p Excellent job ardavenport! After a long day this was great to come home to!
     
  16. Magenta_Moonshadow

    Magenta_Moonshadow Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2005
    As someone who has had to do the paper version of those surveys at work, I love it! =D=
     
  17. Sister_Sola

    Sister_Sola Manager Emeritus star 4 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Nov 19, 2002
    That survey was awesome! :D
     
  18. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    I sent the link onto my friends online. I figured they'd appreciate the survey.

    They said:
    Loved it! Thanks for the link Diane!
    LOL! THat was great!
    Any chance she works here? ;-)
    That's great. My favorites are the last answers. Definitely
    going to need to forward this to some of my other SW friends -
    thanks for sharing it!
     
  19. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Community Squirrel Whisperer star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    ardavenport , what a wonderful survey!! [face_laugh]

    I would guess from his anwsers that this was taken during his having Obi-Wan as his apprentice.

    I found these particulary amusing...

    (27.) The medcenter is accommodating to my needs. _____ 1 __{2}__ 3 __ 4 __ 5

    (28.) The medcenter is well informed about me. _____ 1 __ 2 __ 3 __ 4 __{5}


    Awesome survey!! [face_laugh] [face_laugh]
     
  20. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    And now for something completely different....

    Title: Aftermath
    author: dianethx
    Genre: angst, drama
    Characters: Qui-Gon Jinn, Xanatos duCrion
    Key words: knife, hair
    Summary: Qui-Gon Jinn was dealing with the aftermath of Xanatos's betrayal and turn to the Dark as best he could. For the hair challenge
    Notes: I'm experimenting again, this time with sentence fragments and disjointed plot flow. This follows immediately after my story, Broken Circle.

    ***********************
    He looked like hell.

    They say that reflections do not lie, that there is nothing in a mirror but truth, that a person's heart could be seen in silvered glass.

    They were right.

    Because the mirror did not lie. He was in hell.

    Blood-shot eyes rimmed with the crusted remains of grief. A trembling hand wiping at matted hair, skin waxen in desperation, smeared clots of dried brown across one cheek, a pulpy trail of gore from nose to beard.

    Remnants of a battle that he would rip from his memory. If he could.

    Qui-Gon stood there, loathing the poor broken fool in the 'fresher mirror. His own face was staring back at him but the lines of sorrow etched into the skin could not be his. The nose, misshapen and throbbing, twice its size and still stained with blood, purple bruises framing his face - surely it was some other victim of fate's cruel tricks. Not his face, not that of the Master of one of the brightest students of the age, Xani's Master. Not the face of Qui-Gon Jinn.

    But he could not lie, even to himself. And the mirror kept reminding him of life's harsh reality, much as he would wish to deny it.

    Xan was gone. Xan was... it seemed impossible but Xanatos duCrion, his bright and energetic Learner, the brilliant example of just what an outstanding Padawan should be and, more importantly the boy he had thought of as his own son, had turned to the Dark and tried to kill him.

    No, that was not... Xan would never do such a thing. And yet the mirror did not lie.

    Blinking in the unendurable light, he stared at his swollen face, not really seeing anything, not really thinking. He didn't want to remember; he didn't want to think about that life so cruelly torn from him. But the memories kept returning like slimy ooze seeping past his shields, like a stain on his heart.

    Xan's face dark with rage. Hate-filled words spilling out. The stench of burning flesh as his Padawan pressed the red-hot ring into his pallid cheek, skin melting liquid under the onslaught. The raw ozone hum of a lightsaber swinging close.

    The shorn black braid of a beloved apprentice thrown with contempt into clotted blood.

    Denial anguished deep in Qui-Gon's throat, rending him into despair. Closing his eyes for a moment, he curled inward, leaning his head against the cool surface, trying to fight the memories, trying to push it all away.

    But reality was not so kind.

    He wanted, desperately wanted, to make everything return to the way it was a few hours ago. Qui-Gon had looked forward to a long and happy partnership with his beloved apprentice, his Xani knighted and the two of them sharing missions and briefings and laughter. Relaxing into family.

    Fool. Poor pathetic fool in the mirror. Surrounded by cold tile and duty. It was his fault, that pathetic lifeform staring back at him in the silvered glass, his fault that Xan had turned to the Dark.

    But he could not turn back time or undo his actions. Now there was nothing left for him but a lifetime of regret.

    He did not know how long he stood there warring with himself, denial and truth battling with his spirit. His whole body ached as if it had been hours but it could not have been more than a few minutes.

    A soft knock at the door startled him back into focus. After all, the people he had come to help were still waiting for him, just outside his room.

    A gentle, "Master Jedi, are you well?" and he almost laughed at the absurdity of it all. But he knew where his duty lay and so he answered just as softly - that he would be with them in a few moments, that h
     
  21. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 28, 2003


    He had forgotten, in the years as Xani's Master, feeling the love of a father for a son, feeling emotion like a joyous celebration of life, that to be Jedi was to be untouchable and untouched.

    But never again would he allow himself to fail, never allow himself to feel again, to love. He would bury his grief in duty and the service to others. As it should be.

    For he was Jedi. Untouchable and untouched.

    The mirror had not lied after all.

    He was in hell.



    Oh diane.. rip my heart out why don't you? :_|:_| That was so sad and so very vivid. Poor Qui at least we have the knowledge that he does learn to love again.
     
  22. ardavenport

    ardavenport Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 2004
    That was just torture. :eek: Oooh, poor Qui-Gon.:_| But he would put his whole emotional self into his Padawan and having Xanatos go dark would rip his heart out...and his hair it seems as well. That was very intense.

    About the survey....Thanks! :) But I didn't need a to put a lot of imagination into it; I just wrote it in the style of surveys I've had to take at work. At least we do them online and don't waste any paper with them. I guess you can tell a lot about a person by which bubbles they click on for a survey after all.

    Aaah, but Qui-Gon isn't asked what his Padawan's name for the survey. [face_mischief] Maaaaaaybe Obi-Wan.....maaaaaaybe not.

     
  23. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Community Squirrel Whisperer star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    Oh Diane, that was... tragic. Is it any wonder that Qui-Gon would have turned away the vry idea of taking on another apprentice.

    Wow, this was just sad and so very painful to read. Absolutely brilliant!
     
  24. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    That was magnificent, diane. Your descriptions were so dark and visceral, perfectly fitting with Qui-Gon's mood. I loved the style. It was like hearing Qui-Gon's thoughts spilling out from his tortured heart. I really liked how you described the sheets and pillows torn by Xan's knife, I could picture that perfectly from your words. And what he used the knife for... :eek: Beautiful vig, right up there with Broken Circle. =D=
     
  25. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Dark and gripping! Another masterpiece my lady! You never fail to move me. Sigh... So much talent on these boards.

    That was truly incredible, Diane! =D=

    But now I'm gonna go have myself a good cry! :_|
     
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