main
side
curve
  1. Welcome to the new boards! Details here!

Before - Legends Qui-Gon Jinn Challenge Thread - Note on first post

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Jinn is MINE, May 12, 2005.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. kateydidnt

    kateydidnt Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 11, 2004
    Princess, I always look forward to your answers to challenges. Fantastic work. You have such a way with language.
     
  2. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    Upping this for the next challenge.

    Write about blue ghostie Qui-Gon Jinn. What was he doing in the ether all this time? Playing sabaac with himself, floating around laughing at the Council, wishing that he could eat chocolate just one more time?

    Curious people want to know.

    Starts today!
     
  3. stormqueen874

    stormqueen874 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 7, 2005
    *in response to The Sound of Music, by Princess_Arulmozhi*

    This was a wonderful viggie! I'm trying to read all of your fanfiction, and so far I'm loving every minute of it. I love stories where Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon train Anakin jointly, and I love how you showed that Anakin really is a bit of a farmboy thrown into the big city. And as for imagining both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan playing musical instruments... *sighs dreamily* I don't know what it is about the image. Maybe I just love seeing the sides people come up with for them.

    Excellent fic; I'm off to check out the rest!
    Stormqueen
     
  4. Lilith Demodae

    Lilith Demodae Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 1, 1999
    I've just read the second and third pages worth of Evil Qui stories and ... Wow! they were all just amazing. I know this is a bit late, but the bunny wouldn't leave me alone.



    Talking to Myself



    Obi-Wan gently, oh so carefully, lifted his master's head from his lap and laid it on the floor. Qui-Gon was dead, but he would make sure that it was not in vain. He needed to retrieve Anakin from the shuttle bay and see to the safety of the queen. Once all that the noble Jedi had fought for was set to rights, then he would return.

    The young man stood over his fallen master a moment longer before turning and racing away through the temporary opening in the energy barriers.

    The barriers hissed shut in rapid sequence and all was silence, the Jedi master sprawled where he fell, and the Sith apprentice in his private depths. There was only the buzzing hum of the barriers themselves. Hiss, hiss, hiss they opened. Hiss, hiss, hiss they closed.

    A tall dark-robed figure stood just inside the room. A faint stirring of the hood was the only indication of the quick scan he gave the area. Boot heels clicked softly as he stepped forward to stare down at the body. After a moment he stepped to the edge of the pit and glanced into the darkness there. A swirl of robes brought him back to the side of the fallen Jedi.

    He knelt beside the prostrate form, one finger tracing the scorched edges of the hole in the Jedi's tunics. He sank back to sit cross-legged, elbows propped on his knees, chin resting on his fists.

    "You know, I really am sorry that it worked out this way," the mellow baritone voice spoke conversationally to the corpse. "I had such high hopes that Lord Maul would kill Kenobi as well. Lord Sidious thinks there might still be some use to be had of him. He's such an uptight priggish rules-monger, though. One more 'it says in the Code...' and I'd have strangled him myself. If you ask me, only Windu is worse, but then Kenobi hasn't his years of experience."

    The man shifted, tucking one leg beneath him, the other knee drawn up to his chest. He gazed down at the Jedi, and an involuntary shiver ran down his spine.

    "I never would have guessed what would happen when it was you who smuggled yourself down to Naboo instead of me. To think, you found the Chosen One of the prophesy, won his freedom, saved a world, helped unite two very different peoples."

    He shook his head in a bemused fashion.

    "The Force works in mysterious ways."

    Silence descended again for a span.

    When the tingle of energy emanated from the communicator on his belt, the man rose smoothly to his feet. With the small device nestled in his broad palm, he pressed the activation button, bringing forth a small blue hologram.

    "I felt Lord Maul's death," the tiny figure said without preamble.

    "Yes, master. I watched it all on the security monitors. Kenobi and the boy still live. It is exactly as you foresaw."

    "You doubted me?"

    "Never, master. I had simply hoped that Maul would kill Kenobi. We would have been well rid of him."

    "He has yet to serve his purpose."

    "Bringing the boy into the Order." The tall Sith knelt again next to the body and contemplated the face of the dead Jedi. "To think, he of all people found the Chosen One."

    "All is proceeding according to plan."

    "Yes, Master. I was afraid that Kenobi would notice the switch after he fled the control ship, but it is plain that he did not."

    The Sith pushed back his hood, long greying hair falling about his shoulders. Pale blue eyes minutely examined the slack face before them.

    "Oh, and I believe the cloners will be perfect for our needs. They even got my nose right."

     
  5. Frostfyre

    Frostfyre Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Oct 25, 1999
    Ahahahaha! 'They even got my nose right.'

    Eeeeevil Qui-Gon. I love it. There's a huge story, right there.
     
  6. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    That was great, Lilith! So creepy, with that last killer line in there. [face_laugh] =D= I really liked it.
     
  7. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    Cool, I had no idea of what was going on until the end. I love when people do that. They even got the nose right. LOL.

    Great job!
     
  8. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
  9. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Whoa! :eek: That was great! =D=
     
  10. kateydidnt

    kateydidnt Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 11, 2004
    Talking to the sky

    ...
    "Master...master..." he mumbles, restless in his sleep. A small, uncontrolled sob escapes his lips. Three days and three nights I have stood vigil over him as much as I could, wanting to reach out to him, to show him the truth.
    There is no death, there is the Force.

    That is what the Jedi have spouted for centuries, millennia really. But I am willing to bet that not a single Jedi in living memory understood what that meant.

    It means we are all in Hell. Able to look, but not touch, able to hear but not be heard. We watch them, but they don't know. I see and speak to other Jedi long dead and they all have a longing look in their eyes. They want to let their loved ones know that they are still there.
    No attachments my crooked nose.

    He turns over again, kicking the blanket off his bed. It is hard to believe he is a knight now, an adult, especially when I seem him like this--so vulnerable.

    "No!" he says a little louder. The door opens a crack and I see a small head peeking in.
    "Master?" Anakin whispers.
    Obi-Wan wakes up immediately and, sitting up, looks to his young charge.
    "I heard you speaking Master..." Anakin trails off, looking almost sheepish to admit it. Obi-Wan smiles wearily and motions for Anakin to sit beside him on the bed. They start talking in low tones, but I can no longer hear them because I am being pulled back.
    I want to stay, but it takes strength I do not have yet to constantly focus on one place, one person. As I am pulled back I vow to keep an eye on both of them, Obi-Wan and Anakin, and one day I will find a way to show them.

    ...
    I am stronger than I was at first, I can watch anyone I want to indefinitely, but it has now become an even worse Hell because of it. If I am pulled back, I don't have to watch, impotent. But now I can stay, I must watch it all.
    "Anakin! Anakin!" I call out to the young man, but he cannot hear me, he cannot see beyond the horrible pain and anger. He does not see me. He does not want to see me.
    ...
    I sit in the council chamber, face to face with Master Yoda. I have not know such joy since I died. He can hear me. He cannot see me, but he can hear me.

    More importantly, he is listening to me.

    And I teach him. I teach him of what happens after death, of being one with the Force and how attachment is what has allowed me to communicate with him. With no ties the Jedi in the Force cannot do more than watch.
    ...
    It is a familiar pattern that I now initiate. I teach Obi-Wan once more, not a kata, nor the history of the Jedi, but this time how the Unifying Force binds all together, living and dead. How to remain connected even after death.

    I have never been able to show myself to living people, but it is my greatest hope that those I teach, will be able to. Already, the newly arrived Jedi-so many-have begun to learn what I have painstakingly discovered.

    Adi Gallia appeared briefly to Yoda.

    Obi-Wan knows this but has never asked to see anyone, instead he prefers to talk to the sky.
    ...


    Well, that turned out differently than I planned it.
     
  11. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    Cool. I really liked that you had Qui-Gon watching over Obi-Wan even right after he died. I also loved your description that they were in hell because they could not speak beyond the grave. I loved how you had Yoda listening to Qui-Gon and even though he could not appear, he hoped that others would learn to do it.

    Great job.
     
  12. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Loved it, katy! Even the title was beautiful! Bravo! =D=
     
  13. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    That was very beautiful, kateydidnt. I liked how you touched on those moments in AOTC and ROTS when Qui-Gon was involved. =D=
     
  14. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    Oy. I thought this was going to turn out differently. Oh well.

    Like A Restless Wind
    Written by LuvEwan

    IIIIIOIIIII

    PG

    Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. Title taken from the song ?Across the Universe?, by John Lennon and Paul McCartney. This does not follow ?The Last of the Jedi? storylines.

    With an unmatched darkness descended, and life reduced to solitary duty, there are still lessons to be learned?and, perhaps, even wounds to be healed.

    IIIIIOIIIII

    Images of broken light
    Which dance before me
    Like a million eyes
    They call me on and on
    Across the Universe

    Thoughts meander
    Like a restless wind inside
    A letter box
    They tumble blindly as they make their way
    Across the Universe. ?John Lennon & Paul McCartney

    IIIIIOIIIII

    Flames splintered through the shadow. Dawn came bleeding, in the sweat darting down temples, in the dual molten cores that seemed but a reflection of the other, any contrasting aspects indistinguishable. They were bound to their place, to the hours locked in darkness, and their glorious rule of the day.

    So there was light, despite the smothering shroud that had fallen. There was something more than black oblivion, contrary to everything that had left his heart swollen and irreparably torn.

    There was light. He could not argue this.

    But it was beyond him. The warm fringes only whispered, and they spoke of what he could never have. The caress was dead, and cold?a curdled memory.

    A memory? Yes, and that meant all illumination lay behind him. The light was pooled in old footprints, caked in dust. He looked down, to see his boots scuffed and layered with hard-glinting sand. He was standing outside the hovel, sheltered by his sole haven in this new, beaten existence: his cowl was secured over his head, and pooled darkness down his face. Like an eclipse.

    And that?s what had happened, what was still happening even now, as he watched the suns scorched into the paling blue backdrop. The Universe, the life he knew was trapped beneath the ever-widening spread of black, and the dunes piled around him were frost, for all heat had long since been leeched. That was why he spent each night within the sharp grasp of shivery fingers, and any musing, no matter how small and seemingly harmless, left him praying that just once, the strobe of Tatooine?s conflagrating eyes would fix on him, and grant him relief.

    Of course this led him to his default line of thinking. Because no matter how many forks appeared in a road, they always converged, to his path of truth.

    I don?t deserve relief. I don?t deserve breath.

    But in the latter, he could not help but accept the unearned privilege, although it was unfailingly heavy, stale drifts of air that seeped into his lungs. He had to breathe, each day resurrect this shell in which he was encased. This was his duty, perhaps his last. He had to ensure that the Light stay hidden, and kindled so gently in protective, loving arms.

    He had to wait, like a creature beneath the leaves as the darkness passed over the sun. He had to be patient. The time would come for him to usher in the new day, and banish this perpetual night.

    There was a far-off noise, the choked howl of a Tusken, and Obi-Wan opened eyes he didn?t remember closing. The Sand People. The plundering scourge of Tatooine. From what he?d overheard out of the mouths of the locals, the Tuskens were a mindless race, predisposed to violence and primal greed. Violent and greedy, they most certainly were. But mindless? The Force was a current, and it ran through everything, linking all it touched. So everything, from the dustiest little rodent to the masked, threatening Tusken, had a purpose.

    It would take a stronger, more disciplined mind to discover just what that purpose was. Although he had unnumbered hours to ponder even the tiny mysteries and peculiarities, he thought of none of it.

    Every day, every moment, was lethally devoted. To death, to betrayal.

    And failure.

    Obi-Wan dropped his head into a palm, and inhaled slowly. This place carried th
     
  15. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    Oh, LE, this was exquisite. I loved how you went from Tattoine to the warm memory of Anakin's pain in remembering/forgetting his mother to the aloneness of Obi-Wan's existance to Qui-Gon's trying to help him see that he still had a purpose. Quite wonderful!

    I love the language, of course, you have such a use of words that I am in awe each time I read your work. The emotional depth, the tug on my heart, is so raw and deep that it stays with me long after I've finished reading the story for the first time (but not the last). I do read them more than once, you know!

    Loved this.
    In reality, Anakin Skywalker was dead. And so was Obi-Wan Kenobi.

    They died together, on the same hearth, within the same conquering inferno. But death had not brought them peace. Instead, they paid for past sin; captive in bodies they no longer wanted.

    Obi-Wan was now Ben, and Anakin?Anakin was?

    Ordinary words but arranged with such intensity. My heart hurts.

    ?Yes I have,? Anakin insisted. He lifted his head, and his face was a ruin of tears, ?I left her behind, and?and came here?I should be with her. It was always just the two of us. She took care of me,? His sapphire eyes darkened, ?Sometimes I had to take care of her. Now I?m here, and no one?s taking care of her.?

    Again trying to rip my heart out....

    I loved the whole discussion with Qui-Gon, him trying to get Obi-Wan to stop drowning in guilt, Obi-Wan not seeing that it wasn't his fault. Really loved it!

    And this part...

    I rescued you. Remember?

    I won?t leave you, Master.

    Anakin Padawan Padawan

    Don?t make me kill you.

    I will do what I must I will do what I must I will do I will do I will do what I must


    The repetition, as though he was shuddering with the pain and despair of guilt.

    Wonderfully done, LE. Just wonderful.

    =D=
     
  16. Princess_Arulmozhi

    Princess_Arulmozhi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 16, 2004
    My dear girl, that was exquisitely done. Exquisite. I was in tears, when I finished it. I've always wanted to read a story post-RoTS that dals with this, and somehow I wasn't quite satisfied before - but now, I am.

    That was absolutely riveting. As usual, your sheer lyrical style's scintillating. You?ve described Obi-Wan's emotions with such tenderness. And that flashback with Anakin - oh, beautiful. And then, when he finally sees Qui-Gon, and mumbles that he should end it all...:_|

    Yet, he agrees to do his duty. The Ultimate Jedi. And those repetitive passages added the right feel to the whole story.

    Brilliant piece of imagery, dear one. =D= =D=
     
  17. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi

    Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 9, 2002
    Awesome work!
     
  18. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    That made me want to cry!
     
  19. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Community Squirrel Whisperer star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    Lilith, that was lovely. I was totally taken in by Qui-Gon's death and didn't see the end coming. I love that! :D

    kateydidnt, so very touching. I felt so sad that even after death Qui-Gon was hurting for all he couldn't do.

    LuvEwan, that has left me in tears. So poignant and heartbreaking. You have such a beautiful way with words.
     
  20. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 28, 2003
    Wow.....Lilith, kateydidnt, and LuvEwan These are all such fantastic vigs that I find myself almost lost for words at how to describe them! Excellent job ladies!
     
  21. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    diane [face_blush] Thank you. I'm glad you liked the repitition. I was unsure about that when I wrote it, but it was fun pulling lines from the other movies. :D

    P_A 'The Ultimate Jedi', eh? I rather agree with that. [face_love] Thank you, as always. [:D]

    Arwen-Jade ;) Thanks

    PK [face_devil]

    Leona Thank you. You're so sweet. [face_blush]

    Layren Thank you! :D
     
  22. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Ghostie Qui? [face_thinking] This could get interesting!
     
  23. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Title: For the Father
    Author: VaderLVR64
    Characters: Qui-Gon Jinn, Luke Skywalker
    Notes: Written for the ghostie Qui Challenge


    For the Father

    The boy had great potential.

    Qui-Gon mused over the fact as he watched young Luke. Basking in the child?s glow in the Force reminded him sharply of a young slave boy. Guilt welled up within him, guilt for what he had done. Guilt for what he had not done.

    He pushed it aside. There was no room for it. He had a job to do, a task to complete.

    Barely more than a baby, the boy toddled behind Beru Lars like a tiny, blond kitling ambling after its mother. He stumbled, taking a tumble. As he landed on the dusty ground, he looked up at Beru in confusion.

    The Jedi could hear his laughter as he clapped his hands, apparently enjoying this new vantage point. The fall had been great fun to the boy.

    Qui-Gon smiled, enjoying the toddler?s laughter.

    He had been watching over the boy for more than a year now, and watching his old Padawan make the lonely journey here every evening to get a look at the boy, keeping his waning hopes alive with the sight of him.

    The Jedi Master sighed quietly, sending the sound over the winds.

    Looking up curiously, the boy?s eyes seemed to find Qui-Gon quite easily where he stood, invisible on the dune. Qui-Gon waved in delight and the boy?s dimpled fingers moved in greeting. Luke chortled, his eyes fixed on Qui-Gon. Surely the boy could not see him. Perhaps he sensed him then, sensed him in the Force.

    Beru laughed at him as she leaned down to pick him up. Luke snuggled easily into her arms and buried his tiny face in her neck.

    ?You?re a charmer,? she scolded playfully as he grabbed a handful of her hair and rubbed it on his face.

    Luke laughed. ?Roo?? he said as he patted her cheek.

    ?Yes, Aunt Beru,? she said as she hugged him close. Her eyes strayed to the dunes, as if seeking the sight of a cloaked figure there.

    But Obi-Wan had not yet made his evening journey; he was not yet peeking over the dunes at the little boy on whom such high hopes rested. He would be here soon, though. He never missed a single visit if he was on Tatooine.

    As Qui-Gon watched, Beru turned back toward their home, little Luke?s eyes never straying from Qui-Gon. Luke waved at Qui-Gon, a lopsided smile transforming the little boy?s face into a striking image of his father.

    ?Be safe, little one?? Qui-Gon whispered, his words carrying to the boy on the desert breezes.

    Luke smiled and blew a kiss, then Beru went down the steps leading into their home and he could see the boy no more.

    Qui-Gon felt a stirring in the Force and turned. Obi-Wan stood there, framed by the setting suns, his cloak a dark mantle that made him seem composed only of shadows.

    ?Beru just took him inside,? Qui-Gon said.

    Obi-Wan nodded thoughtfully, tucking his hands inside the sleeves of his cloak. ?He is well??

    ?Yes, he?s fine,? Qui-Gon answered.

    ?That?s good,? Obi-Wan replied quietly, his eyes turned toward the suns that were just visible on the horizon.

    ?You don?t need to guard your heart against him, Padawan mine,? Qui-Gon admonished gently.

    Haunted eyes, oceans of pain and betrayal, stared out of the shadowed hood. He smiled sadly, ?You?re right, there is no need to guard my heart against that baby,? he said quietly. ?My heart was destroyed on Mustafar; it troubles me no longer.?

    Qui-Gon sighed deeply. ?If you keep telling yourself that long enough, it might come to pass.?

    ?Then I shall live for that day,? Obi-Wan replied in a tight voice.

    ?Obi-Wan?? Qui-Gon?s voice was a warning.

    Obi-Wan turned his face away from his Master and toward the small farm down below. ?I shall look over Luke,? he murmured. ?I shall train him when the time is right and I shall give him the skills he needs to defeat Vader and the Emperor.? Then he looked at Qui-Gon and his jaw clenched. ?But do not ask me to love him, for I cannot bear to do so.?

    Qui-Gon laid a hand on Obi-Wan?s shoulder, but it felt no more substantial than the brush of a bird?
     
  24. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Community Squirrel Whisperer star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    ?My heart was destroyed on Mustafar; it troubles me no longer.?
    Awww, that is so sad. Qui-Gon knows him too well and I'm glad to see Obi-Wan able to admit his love.

    Lovely VaderLVR.
     
  25. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    OH, that's so sad. I loved that Obi-Wan thought his heart was dead that it had died on Mustafar. And Qui-Gon was wonderful in reminding him that his heart was too big to remain closed off to the young one.

    Great job!
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.