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Saga Rain - An Obi-Wan and Anakin vignette - AU - cover art added

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by VaderLVR64, Mar 20, 2006.

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  1. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Title: Rain
    Author: VaderLVR64
    Characters: Anakin, Obi-Wan
    Summary: This sort of defies a neat summary, so consider yourself warned.
    Notes: Written on a rainy day. I have no idea where this plot bunny came from, only that it bit and bit hard. :D

    And a huge thank you to Gina, for creating this gorgeous art work! [:D]

    [image=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v466/VadersLover/11Raincopy.jpg]



    Rain



    It was raining.

    He woke up to the sound of fat drops of rain falling on the metallic roof. It was a soothing sound that inevitably brought to mind happier memories of Naboo. Rain on Naboo was usually a gentle shower that washed the planet clean ? making everything new again. The sounds of the rain soothed and cradled, lulling to a restful sleep where even nightmares could not intrude. He had never known rain like that as a child. When it did rain on Tatooine, it was a vicious, living entity with winds that destroyed, forging sand into a weapon.

    It took a moment for him to orient himself, to remember where he was. He had been waiting here an eternity, and yet it had only been a moment. Memory came as it always did, with a sad and melancholy sigh that seemed to originate from his very soul. It was raining and he was alone ? by his own hand and will, but alone nevertheless. The knowledge that he had done this thing, that he was the author of his own misery did not ease his pain one bit. If anything, the bitterness of that truth sank its teeth into him without mercy, worrying at the wound so that it would not heal.

    Getting up, resigned to facing yet another day, Anakin Skywalker walked to the window to look out at the rain-drenched forest that surrounded his little hut. It was going to be a beautiful day, he mused with detached pleasure. Beauty was wasted on him for the most part; he appreciated it only from an indifferent perspective. He could no longer immerse himself in the wonder of it, marveling at its majesty. Anakin could look at something and know it was beautiful, but he could no longer feel it inside, which was where beauty was best realized.

    ?It?s raining here, Padmé,? he said quietly. From behind him, he heard soft laughter. He smiled, unable to help himself, for the sound of her joy never failed to move him. She did not often let him hear her; it was a rare gift and he savored it.

    He turned, half-expecting to see her, but as always, she had skipped out of his sight. Shaking his head, the smile still lingered on his lips, hovering there like an uneasy bird. One day he would be quick enough and he would see her, he thought to himself. She would not elude him forever; he loved her too much to let that happen. She would forgive him one day, and then?

    Looking back out the window, he noted that the rain was letting up, falling to a drizzle now that would soon be a mist and then just a memory. ?You?re doing well, Padawan,? a voice said quietly.

    Anakin answered without turning, for he knew he would never be swift enough to catch sight of Obi-Wan. ?Thank you, Master,? he replied just as softly. ?I am trying.?

    There was the comforting warmth of a hand on his shoulder and a light squeeze. ?I know, Anakin,? Obi-Wan said. ?I?m proud of how far you?ve come.?

    His eyes still locked on the verdant trees that swayed gently in the breeze, Anakin confessed, ?I?m lonely, Obi-Wan.?

    ?I will never leave you, Anakin,? his Master reassured him. ?I promised you that and I will hold true to my word.?

    ?I know you will, Master,? the younger man answered. ?But sometimes?sometimes it is not enough.? His shoulders stiffened beneath that warm hand, waiting for the admonishment that his Master was sure to offer. Obi-Wan never lost sight of serving the will of the Force. He was strong and could not be moved from the path of righteousness, unlike his Padawan.

    ?It will get easier in time, Anakin,? Obi-Wan said instead, and Anakin felt unaccountably grateful for his Master?s understanding.

    From the corner of his eye, Anakin thought he saw the
     
  2. Gina

    Gina Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2003
    Snagging first reply, I hope. :p

    This one left me utterly speechless. The imagery, the tone, the mystery and THE ENDING - just amazing.

    Beauty was wasted on him for the most part; he appreciated it only from an analytic perspective. He could no longer immerse himself in the wonder of it, marveling at its majesty. Anakin could look at something and know it was beautiful, but he could no longer feel it inside, which was where beauty was best realized.

    Just beautiful!

    The rain continued to batter the roof, almost drowning out his call for his beloved. It mourned along with him, the weather lashed out his grief, sang his sorrow.

    Such haunting imagery.

    Again, absolutely breathtaking. I'm so glad this rainy, miserable day gave you such an inspired little plot bunny. :D




     
  3. Luna_Nightshade

    Luna_Nightshade Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jan 25, 2006
    *falls on knees and hangs head*

    This hit me, hard. I lost someone... someone Anakin's age... in a car accident a few days ago. I've been wrestling with the concept of death since then, especially death for those who most emphatically don't deserve it, and those who are not ready to accept it. There was something inherently soothing about this vignette, about the rain and the soft wind, about forgiveness and redemption and hope... and freedom. Freedom in death, even when it appears to imprison us left behind in our own grief and confusion. This vignette is aptly titled--Rain--because it was comforting and balmlike to my heart. While I am sure you did not write this to serve as something to hold me and make me momentarily less angry, it did... and thank you for that.
     
  4. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2005
    Wow - one of the most moving stories I've ever read - you are THE MASTER, my master. I'm trying to hold back tears at work.

    ?I will never leave you, Anakin,? his Master reassured him. ?I promised you that and I will hold true to my word.?

    ?I know you will, Master,? the younger man answered. ?But sometimes?sometimes it is not enough.? He shoulders stiffened beneath that warm hand, waiting for the admonishment that was sure to be offered. Obi-Wan never lost sight of serving the will of the Force. He was strong and could not be moved from the path of righteousness, unlike his weak-willed Padawan.

    ?It will get easier in time, Anakin,? Obi-Wan said instead, and Anakin felt unaccountably grateful for his Master?s understanding.

    From the corner of his eye, Anakin thought he saw the shifting of a sand colored tunic and longed to turn. He wanted to see his Master?s beloved face just one more time, look into those kind blue eyes that shone with wisdom and understanding. That comfort was denied him, however, part of the penalty he must pay for his sins. At moments such as this, it felt like a heavy price indeed


    Yup, so Obi-Wan.

    The hand lowered to his shoulder once more and Anakin felt a moan ripped from his throat. This half-life was unbearable, and he knew that eventually it would break him, they would break him and he would shatter into a million pieces and finally disappear. ?Why do you stay, Master?? he dared to ask.

    It seemed that the hand on his shoulder clenched briefly, a mere spasm that might not have even existed. ?I stay because I am not done,? Obi-Wan answered. ?When the time comes, I shall lead you to where you must go.?


    Oh, I hurt reading this.

    Lifting his face, Anakin saw his Master?s kindly face hovering over him. Anakin help up his hand, reaching for the familiar callused grip of his Master. ?I see you, Obi-Wan,? he said in bewildered wonder. ?I see you??

    The two men clasped hands and Obi-Wan pulled Anakin to his feet. ?Come along, Anakin, we?ve been waiting for so long.? A tender smile softened Obi-Wan?s usually stern expression as he led Anakin out of the little hut into the storm raging outside. ?Don?t be afraid??

    ?I?m not afraid,? Anakin whispered. ?I?m not afraid.? For the first time in his existence, the Chosen One was no longer afraid


    Magnificent work!
     
  5. anakin_luver

    anakin_luver Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 2005
    Oh my goodness! That was beautiful! I actually cried...I don't do that often. You made it so easy to follow along. When Obi-Wan came in, I knew exactly what had happened. You made death seem so peaceful, exactly how the Jedi intended it to be. Great job!
     
  6. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 14, 2002
    Amazing. Left me breathless. =D=
     
  7. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    Wow, I never ever expected the ending that you gave us. I knew that Anakin was dead and merely waiting to go into the Force but I thought it was a long time off, way past NJO. That it was right at the end of ROTS was amazing.

    Great job. =D=
     
  8. Gina

    Gina Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2003
    Looks like I finally get the chance to say "I told you so." [face_whistling] :D

    Again, a brilliant viggie, K. =D=

     
  9. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 28, 2003
    Wow -- that was just stunning lady. No other words. Totally didn't expect the ending.

    =D==D=

    Well done!
     
  10. Magenta_Moonshadow

    Magenta_Moonshadow Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2005
    That was BEAUTIFUL, so sad, yet so comforting...:_|

    I loved it![:D] Well done!=D=
     
  11. Daenarrah

    Daenarrah Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2005
    It's my turn to cry. :_| I'm sitting here practically speechless with tears running down my face. The way you told this story, the way you wove it together and drew us along with it is so stunning and beautiful. The way you reveal what it's about with subtle hints is breathtaking. With realization dawning on me it just hurt in my heart. You wrote death and transcending into the Force wonderfully. I'd say more but I have no ideas how to put it into words.
     
  12. amidalachick

    amidalachick Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2003
    *sniffles*

    Wow. Just...wow. I literally jumped when I read the line where the droid says he's gone, I was so surprised.

    This story was heartbreaking, and yet so, so beautiful and it felt so...I don't know, peaceful and...content.

    Absolutely amazing, VaderLVR! :_| =D= @};-

     
  13. HandmaidenVeme

    HandmaidenVeme Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 28, 2004
    You truly are a gifted writer=D= . Anakin's turmoil and longing lept off the page and surrounded me while I read, but once Obi-wan entered the room peace and tranquility were restored once again.
     
  14. JediJainaSoloFel

    JediJainaSoloFel Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 5, 2004
    That was beautiful. My favorite part was about the freedom that comes in the absence of fear. It's so true and it would be Obi-Wan that draws that out of him.

    Fantastic!
     
  15. Jazz_Skywalker

    Jazz_Skywalker Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2002
    Oh, beautiful. And that ending - amazing! I'm glad something good came out of the rainy day - all I got were muddy heels (I sunk a good inch or two about three times :( ).

    jazz
     
  16. DarthMousche

    DarthMousche Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 16, 2005
    This was absolutely stunning, and the rain theme is just perfect.

    =D=
     
  17. Miana Kenobi

    Miana Kenobi Admin Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Apr 5, 2000
    That was incredible.

    The imagry and rain was perfect. Set the mood, set the tone.. just perfect. The interaction between Anakin and Obi-Wan was wonderful. I'm nearly at tears from being so touched by it.

    Wonderful job!
     
  18. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 2005
    That was heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time.

    I loved that Obi-Wan and Padme stayed behind to help Anakin on his final journey

    Bravo!

    =D= =D= =D= =D=

     
  19. leia_naberrie

    leia_naberrie Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2002
    ooooo! I know what this means! [face_dancing] This is clever! This is so clever!
     
  20. Jedikma

    Jedikma Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Yay!!! Palps didn't get his hooks into Anakin afterall! [face_dancing]


    Wonderful story!
     
  21. CrazyAni

    CrazyAni Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 23, 2006
    Beautiful vignette!

    Your portrayal of Anakin's inner turmoil and Obi-Wan's serenity are just perfect! I'm glad that Padme forgave Anakin, and the Palpie didn't get his claws into Annie.

    =D= =D= =D=
     
  22. VA_Parky

    VA_Parky Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 10, 2005
    Wow!! That was incredible!

    The scenery was hitting me from all angles. The noise of the rain, the different rhythms of it... The presence of Obi-wan and Padme... The shelter of the tiny hut... Just, wow!

    And the ending nearly knocked me off my feet! Great, great work!! How I love your vignettes!!! [face_love]
     
  23. pat_skywalker39

    pat_skywalker39 Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Jan 5, 2004
    wow beautiful vignette, you could continue it in a story, that would be a great beginning.

    love the way you write!
     
  24. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2005
    Brilliant work VaderLVR64! How on Earth do you find time to write so beautifully and do all your Mod stuff simultaneously? *stares at her, awestruck*

    Looking back out the window, he noted that the rain was letting up, falling to a drizzle now that would soon be a mist and then just a memory. ?You?re doing well, Padawan,? the voice said quietly.

    Anakin answered without turning, for he knew he would never be fast enough to catch sight of his Master. ?Thank you, Master,? he replied just as softly. ?I
    am trying.?

    I really loved this moment even more so than the rest. There is so much tension in him. Obi-Wan's warmth spreads from the page like a noon day in spring. You can feel the tension building in Anakin as he responds as he always did to the man who was closest to a Father to him. It is hard to capture the power of the bond that can develop between men. You did so beautifully throughout this piece.

    Wonderful work! =D=




     
  25. Siaynoqsbride

    Siaynoqsbride Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 17, 2005
    Oh, that was incredible! :_| And so amazingly haunting! The end gave me shivers. Bravo. =D= I would say more, but I'm completely at a loss for words.
     
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