Arena Re: Amerisports

So.

I don't get any of your strange sports. Homeruns, quarterbacks, playoffs, what.

In an effort to connect with the populace of the JCC (other than regularly banning you ****ers) I want you to explain to me the rules of your weird sports and help me discover the charm I'm sure they have. This includes American football (that's not a ball, guys), hockey (it's an American sport, right?), basketball (NBA rules are weird!), baseball (is it a sport or just a game?), eating contests and, uh, dunno, Tea Party rallies?

Go.

 

The blerns are loaded the count's three blerns and two anti-blerns and the infield blern rule is in effect.

 

In American football, you are so badass you don't need a ball or to use your feet.


-sj loves kevin spacey

 

Taketh thee to the Arena

 

What's the "Arena"?

 

All popular American sports can be explained like so: A bunch of people stand around drinking and eating while something happens in front of them.

 

Yeah because everyone knows soccer fans stay free of the spirits before, during, after, and as soon as they're released from jail after the riots that ensued on the previous evening's match.

 

And thus Juli proves all sports are the same. See Dave, you already understood Amerisports afterall.

 

Geez, you get ejected from one little homegame and no one ever forgets it.

Btw, I still maintain that ref's eyes were already gouged out, he missed the most obvious charge I've ever seen, and I don't even have a whistle.

 

Tell us about waving a red cloth at cows, Dave.

 

Not a fan.

Juli, I know the rules of whining. I mod JCC, remember?

 

I think he's more into the yearly Pamplona streets marathon.

 

You yankees and your "preemptive strikes".

Oh, I get. It's an amerisport, too. Yay, thank you, Juli.

 

I'll be glad to help you in this fine quest of yours, but first you must help me understand how the hell cricket is played, scored.

 

Basketball is simple. You put the ball in the basket and get two points for it, unless you're far away, then you get three, or taking a penalty shot, then its only 1.

 

I didn't realize Spain was part of the Commonwealth now.

 

Sexy Swedes.

 

I've tried to teach baseball to my German relatives, it's pretty much impossible unless you go to a game. And drink a fair amount of beer.

 

Didnt realize he was, but regardless if was from the moon, I still want to know

 

The England national football team would destroy the Spanish national football team if they played each other in a game of baseball. Maybe.

 

Did you know that Basketball is actually Canadian?

 

What? Canada is in Asia now or something?

 

you mean Pau Gasol isn't a national treasure?