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Before - Legends Recognition (Horror, OC) 3,000 years pre-TPM, Updated 10/14

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Exeter, Dec 11, 2005.

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  1. Kudzu

    Kudzu Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2005
    Holy crap. That's awful. Markos is in a bit of a sorry state, isn't he? Looking forward, with some trepidation, to seeing what happens next...[face_worried]

    The strange language...could it be Sith? Could the dead-looking jellyfish thing be some product of Sith alchemy or some sinister thing of the dark side, somehow?
     
  2. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrel Wrangler of Fun & Games star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    Exeter, I must say that was simply brilliant. I loved the whole feel of this post. Markos descent into seemingly maddness, the description of Kaeso of what a real fight entails. Please, keep those updates coming!!
     
  3. Chaos_Clone

    Chaos_Clone Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Dec 5, 2005
    woooooooooooow [face_hypnotized] awesom stuff, it reminded me a little of the girl in the exorcist on the bed, really really creepy but totally brilliant.:cool:

    another gr8 desturbing chapter=D=
     
  4. Xeks321

    Xeks321 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Dec 22, 2005
    There's only one word to describe this latest update. Out-freaking-standing. I love it. This is evolving into a very different animal than anything I have read related to Star Wars. Keep it up.

    Xeks
     
  5. aldocassidy

    aldocassidy Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 22, 2005
    Wow, Ex, this is an amazing, creepy story. Kinda reminds me of those Stephen King short stories or novellas. Glad you're revisiting Psalmik too.

    Please PM me when you update, at your convenience.
     
  6. BigE

    BigE Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2002
    This is fantastic! Very creepy stuff. Thanks for the head?s-up in the GWG. This is a treat to read. [face_devil]

    Please send me a PM as well when you get the next chapter up.
     
  7. Zonoma

    Zonoma Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 28, 2005
    Chapter One

    Oh darn it! I knew I shouldn?t have ever come in here! I?m already scared of the ocean and try very hard to overcome that fear, but now I?m hooked.

    It?s great to see you brushing off Ye Ole First Person Point of View, too. Even if it is narrative! [face_mischief] I think that this is the absolute best POV for a story that tries to inspire dread and horror, though. I am dreading and looking forward to it all at once. I just can?t help but to read now.

    My initial impressions of ?the creature? are that perhaps its ?lure? is more telepathic or empathic? I was going to say tonal and musical (a siren?) but then why is it affecting only one of the humans instead of them all and don?t humans and fish have differing musical ?tastes??

    Okay, on the next post.



    [b]Chapter Two[/b]

    Okay, first of all:
    [/color]
    [i]I?ve found things work better that way, when you talk as little as possible with your partner. Interestingly enough, the same is true when you?re hired to neutralize a target.

    Go figure.[/i]

    [color=darkred][face_laugh] Life is just funny that way![face_laugh]

    Now ? So it [i]is[/i] affecting them both. Interesting.

    Markos freaked ME out, too. I?ve already got the shivers and I?m not even on Chapter 3 yet! So, something about the eyes?. This creature seems [i]malevolent. [/i] *shivers again*
    [hr]

    [b]Chapter Three[/b]

    Missing time is freaky for any number of reasons, but I?m not getting attached to Kaeso so that you can kill him off, am I?

    I love the insights into this mercenary culture and way of thinking. It?s a whole different mentality and I really like it.
    [hr]

    [b]Chapter Four[/b]
    [/color]
    [i] Or one of the other ten billion cliches in this galaxy that are laser-guided lies designed to make you feel better. [/i]

    [color=darkred]That is a great line.

    The other eyes? I am liking where this is going less and less. Markos is a merc by nature, it would be hard for him to resist a creature that is playing on that part of him, for certain!

    I am convinced that this creature is Force sensitive somehow, it?s connection to Markos could be what stopped the sedatives from being effective.
    [hr]

    [b]Overall[/b]

    I love it and am hating myself for even stopping by because now I have to finish it! And I just [i]know[/i] that this is going to scare my pants off! [face_shock] Hey! No comments from the peanut gallery, either.[face_shame_on_you]
    [/color]
     
  8. JadeSolo

    JadeSolo Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 2002
    Then I heard it.

    The heartbeat beneath the floorboards? [face_laugh]

    With the stuff that's coming out of Marko's mouth, sounds almost like he needs some kind of exorcism. Can't wait to see what's in those books he has at home.

    ?Do you touch your guns with those hands, you?you?frelling bad guy!?, and ?That is it! Now I?m mad! Porkins, I?m going to pound you into little porklets?OW!? and so forth.

    [face_laugh] And Porkins! It's Porkins!

    Or one of the other ten billion cliches in this galaxy that are laser-guided lies designed to make you feel better.

    I just loved that.

    Scariest part in this story is that Markos knows exactly what's causing his hysteria, enough so that he can take measures. So if there's a bright spot, he's not totall helpless just yet - though he sure as hell is getting there.

    Now, update soon, or else ye be cag-mag! [face_laugh]
     
  9. Kudzu

    Kudzu Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2005
    Yes, yes, eagerly awaiting Chapter 5. :) :)
     
  10. Antilles2001

    Antilles2001 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 20, 2001
    Damn, I really oughta visit the Before the Saga forum. Amazing what a myriad of A/P romance fics burying particular stories can do, eh? ;)

    Anyway, I'm glad I decided to visit. I've only read Chapter 1 and I must say it looks to be a very promising start. Like any other story, it has that nice, pretty beginning that horribly goes awry and our lovable protagonists have to get a way out.

    You captured that feeling of carelessness and fun very nicely, Exeter. Seeing as I've never read a horro SW fic before, this should prove to be very interesting and entertaining.

    Can't shake the thought that the "diving" with the ladies was inspired by a ... real-life experience. o_O ;)

    I'll keep an eye on this. In the meantime, I oughta read the rest of what's already up. Luckily for me, looks like things've just started. :)
     
  11. Exeter

    Exeter Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 2, 2005
    Kudzu - Holy crap. That's awful. Markos is in a bit of a sorry state, isn't he? Looking forward, with some trepidation, to seeing what happens next...

    Yeah he is. Luckily, the guy doesn't know when to quit.

    The strange language...could it be Sith? Could the dead-looking jellyfish thing be some product of Sith alchemy or some sinister thing of the dark side, somehow?

    [face_mischief]

    You're an astute reader.

    Thanks for reading, man.

    Leona - Glad you're enjoying the direction! I'll definitely work to keep the updates on an even schedule.

    Chaos_Clone - Yeah, the Exorcist is a pretty freaky flick, isn't it? Thanks for the complements.

    Xeks321 - Awesome. I was trying to branch out a bit from the usual formulas and I've been wanting to do a series of horror SW stories. Hopefully the success of this one will warrant the rest to be written.

    aldo - It's good to see that you showed up. Stephen King's first person short stories aided me quite a bit when I first wrote in the perspective, and the horror mindframe of those early works of his played a part in coming up with the idea for this. The next few chapters are pretty evident of his influence.

    BigE - Hey, no problem. It's always great to see another guy from the Guild stop by. I appreciate the comments.

    Z - Oh darn it! I knew I shouldn?t have ever come in here! I?m already scared of the ocean and try very hard to overcome that fear, but now I?m hooked.

    You'll be ready to jump right in the salty seas after this one's over :p

    It?s great to see you brushing off Ye Ole First Person Point of View, too. Even if it is narrative! I think that this is the absolute best POV for a story that tries to inspire dread and horror, though. I am dreading and looking forward to it all at once. I just can?t help but to read now.

    Oh, I absolutely agree. It's important to see the thoughts of the character involved, the attempted rationalizations, the panic, the hopelessness....

    My initial impressions of ?the creature? are that perhaps its ?lure? is more telepathic or empathic? I was going to say tonal and musical (a siren?) but then why is it affecting only one of the humans instead of them all and don?t humans and fish have differing musical ?tastes??

    Nice observation. Looks like this story is for you ;)

    Markos freaked ME out, too. I?ve already got the shivers and I?m not even on Chapter 3 yet! So, something about the eyes?. This creature seems malevolent. *shivers again*

    It does seem a bit rude, doesn't it? Marine life these days.

    Missing time is freaky for any number of reasons, but I?m not getting attached to Kaeso so that you can kill him off, am I?

    I love the insights into this mercenary culture and way of thinking. It?s a whole different mentality and I really like it.


    [face_laugh] We'll see. Kaeso won't go out easy, that's for sure.

    As for the merc theme, I've done quite a bit of research on the topic in the past few months and hoped to showcase it off in the story. I'm glad you're liking that.

    I am convinced that this creature is Force sensitive somehow, it?s connection to Markos could be what stopped the sedatives from being effective.

    You're just the kind of reader I was aiming towards. Nice work, detective Z. (Notice how I didn't confirm nor deny [face_laugh] )

    I love it and am hating myself for even stopping by because now I have to finish it! And I just know that this is going to scare my pants off!

    That's the plan.

    Hey! No comments from the peanut gallery, either.

    Oops :p

    Glad you're enjoying it and I hope you stick around. Your comments were great to read.

    Jade - The heartbeat beneath the floorboards?

    [face_laugh] Exactly.

    With the stuff that's coming out of Marko's mouth, sounds almost like he needs some kind of exorcism.

    Exorcism... [face_thinking] [face_whistling]

    I'm glad you
     
  12. Exeter

    Exeter Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 2, 2005
    Chapter 5
    ------------------

    It felt a bit strange walking back into Markos? house after what happened almost ? eight hours before? I?d now been up for about twenty-nine hours, but adrenaline continued to course through me. I wondered if I would ever sleep again, after what I had seen. And if I did, what would I dream of?

    Anyway, his house was as empty as a Hutt?s galley at dinnertime. It just seemed?empty. Oh, there was furniture and knick-knacks sure enough, but something was missing. I decided it was a serious lack of bad jokes and free kelp beer from its owner.

    I finally found Markos? study, a tiny datapad-sized hole-in-the-wall on the second floor. Spread out on top of a palmwood desk were about a dozen holobooks, their worn and gnarled covers reflecting nothing of the fledgling sun crawling up from beyond the horizon.

    I picked up the one nearest to me, a thick text whose digital luster had decayed quite a bit by what looked like numerous duskbug attacks to its spine and front cover.

    Undersea Invertebrates of Delta Psamtik, 2nd edition.

    Written forty years ago. I flipped through a few of the others. The Galactic Aquarium: A Marine Biologist?s Sample of our Most Fascinating Aquatic Wonders. Esoteric Conundrums, Abridged Version. Conchology and Other Topics. The Force Unraveled: A Jedi Perspective. 2,100 Incantations of the Ancient Worlds. Hrgg?sshh: Manuscripts of a Madman. Index of the Baran Do Apocrypha. Mysteries of the Inner Mind. Analysis of Decoupled Cognitive Controls Among Non-Sentients.

    This list went on, but it was one kriffin? screwed up reading list. Just imagine one of those as ?fresher reading ? ain?t happening, is it? I failed to see the thread they were all connected by, if any at all.

    Lacking anything better to do, I sat down and began reading.

    The books were all in bad condition, which was kind of surprising since I?ve seen holobooks that date back to the formation of the Republic that looked nicer than these. There were tiny crystalline cracks in the book faces, the displays were dim, and their interfaces slower than Darth Malak at the dentist?s office.

    After a few minutes of browsing, I could see that Markos? claim about ?just started going through them,? wasn?t entirely true; there were a series of carefully entered notations on the opening menu that allowed me to quickly check the passages he had flagged.

    From Esoteric Conundrums:

    ??the smuggler told me a truly peculiar story that had been passed down to him by his grandfather. It is from a secondary source but still so fascinating I felt it must be recorded. The tale involves two daimyo overlords on Ireimaniyah, neighbors and distant acquaintances. Their relationship was healthy if not indifferent, just polite chatter and the occasional drink, spotted with various social gatherings between the other wealthy landowners they fraternized among.

    Apparently, that changed after a particularly strong windstorm that heavily damaged both of their estates. After that, one of the daimyo lords became distant and refused to attend social events and secluded himself from the other aristocrats. During one short visit, the other daimyo noticed a glimmer of sickly yellow in his eyes, a decidedly feral tone according to his account. The other man grew inexplicably angry and began to shout obscenities, which was the last the daimyo spoke to him formally. A month later, he had a particularly vivid dream in which his neighbor ? I can only describe it as violated him ? and he awoke with a start.

    The next morning, he awoke to terrible grunts and cries and shrieks. Believing the worst, he charged outside and, upon realizing it came from his neighbor?s large estate, entered the man?s property. There he identified his neighbor?s two eldest sons and one of his consorts dragging what appeared to be a human-shaped figure wrapped in some sort of fabric. The daimyo watched in astonishment as they dragged the figure to the old hydroworks well that tapped
     
  13. Xeks321

    Xeks321 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Dec 22, 2005
    Kind of slowing it down a bit for this update. This is good. We can't keep the audience at the edge of their seat the entire time. They'd have leg cramps by the end of it all. Nice update. Created a lull to everything that is going on and provide some insight to what is possibly going on. Good job. Keep them coming.

    Xeks
     
  14. BigE

    BigE Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2002
    It was bloated and yellow, its flesh viscous like the pus that accumulates in an infected wound and was little more than a great blob with a number of appendages. And one of those appendages had a striking resemblance to his neighbor!

    [face_sick]

    :eek:


    You're doing a fantastic job of feeding little bits and pieces of what exactly is going on. Very suspenseful.
     
  15. JadeSolo

    JadeSolo Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 2002
    Look! I'm no brine-sucker! :p

    Hrgg?sshh: Manuscripts of a Madman.

    [face_laugh] I don't know why, but that was really funny.

    Suspense is killing me! I love how you're very slowly revealing little bits here and there. It's hard to decide what details can be thrown away, and what will play a part later on - now I know how Markos feels. :p That line from Force Unraveled was pretty neat, too, because it could apply to so many different people in many ways.

    Description of The Blob, ewww! Freakiest part is that it kind of looked like the daimyo. Great post!
     
  16. Antilles2001

    Antilles2001 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 20, 2001
    There were tiny crystalline cracks in the book faces, the displays were dim, and their interfaces slower than Darth Malak at the dentist?s office. [face_laugh]

    And the suspense really is building up. I'm sure there's much more to all this than hypnotic seafood. ;)
     
  17. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    This gets better with every post! =D= Sorry, I'm tired and my review is way too short. But I'm reading! ;)
     
  18. oqidaun

    oqidaun Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2005
    Wow! I loved the holobook excerpts and the titles! I really like how you're fleshing this story out.

    It was bloated and yellow, its flesh viscous like the pus that accumulates in an infected wound and was little more than a great blob with a number of appendages.

    Truly delightful imagery! Nothing like yellow pus.

    =D=
     
  19. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrel Wrangler of Fun & Games star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    LOL! This is so much fun. Fun that I get a shiver as I read this. A very well thought out and executed tale Exeter. I can't express how much I'm enjoying this. :D :D
     
  20. Zonoma

    Zonoma Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 28, 2005
    I wondered if I would ever sleep again, after what I had seen. And if I did, what would I dream of?

    We do, too! So go to sleep, already! :p

    The Galactic Aquarium: A Marine Biologist?s Sample of our Most Fascinating Aquatic Wonders. Esoteric Conundrums, Abridged Version. Conchology and Other Topics. The Force Unraveled: A Jedi Perspective. 2,100 Incantations of the Ancient Worlds. Hrgg?sshh: Manuscripts of a Madman. Index of the Baran Do Apocrypha. Mysteries of the Inner Mind. Analysis of Decoupled Cognitive Controls Among Non-Sentients.

    Sounds like a delightful array of reading! It is attention to details like this that makes you great.

    This list went on, but it was one kriffin? screwed up reading list. Just imagine one of those as ?fresher reading ? ain?t happening, is it?

    I guess this is where I show what a geek I am. You should look at my
    bathroom readers!? They include books on mindless humor, and atomic physics. :rolleyes: Go figure.

    Apparently, that changed after a particularly strong windstorm that heavily damaged both of their estates.

    Uh oh. Someone released something they shouldn?t have! [face_shame_on_you]

    During one short visit, the other daimyo noticed a glimmer of sickly yellow in his eyes, a decidedly feral tone according to his account.

    Yup, this can?t be good!

    a particularly vivid dream in which his neighbor ? I can only describe it as violated him ? and he awoke with a start.

    :eek: Oops.

    The account ends with the daimyo?s most shocking and chilling revelation: his dream had in fact been no dream at all??

    :oops: Um, ew. That is not fair. Who can fight a dream?

    It?s a simple thing, really. To concede defeat was to invite death.

    That is a realistic and necessary mind set. Bravo for touching on it.

    I would eat the business end of my blaster pistol for breakfast before I let that happen.

    Good man.

    Exeter, this is, as usual, superb. I can?t wait for the next update so keep those wonderful Pms coming!

     
  21. aldocassidy

    aldocassidy Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 22, 2005
    Wow. This is getting so much creepier. Honestly, Exeter, hats off to you! The SW world, on paper is really supposed to be a horror-LESS world, in my opinion, because of the validation of the Force and the fact that every event that happens in the Galaxy is derived from it. If something's scary and supernaturual, it's not scary, it's just the workings of the Force. So to be able to craft such a scary story, especially with those excerpts, in such a context is truly amazing.

    PS. I am regretting the fact right now that I just read that last chapter late at night in a dark room.
     
  22. Chaos_Clone

    Chaos_Clone Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Dec 5, 2005
    right behind you Kaeso don't let the jelly monster take you alive:mad:

    :eek: but will he be able to control himself?

    so many questions, so hungry for more=P~
    keep the great stuff coming
    =D= =D=
     
  23. Exeter

    Exeter Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 2, 2005
    Xeks - I agree. Even the most suspensful dramas need their moments of calm. Unfortunately for Kaeso and Markos, those moments are going to be far and few between in their eyes.

    BigE - [face_laugh] Glad I illicitated the appropriate reactions. It was what I was going for. Thanks for reading, man.

    Jade - Look! I'm no brine-sucker!

    So you say.

    You're right, that is funny now that you mention it. Nice work turning this into a comedy. I'll never be able to take it seriously again :p

    I'm glad the suspense is working; I had wondered if it would. I agree about the excerpts being very encompassing and wide open - too bad for Kaeso that it doesn't give him any concrete answers.

    Description of The Blob, ewww! Freakiest part is that it kind of looked like the daimyo. Great post!

    Thanks!

    Antilles - Are you sure? Damn! Now I have to go and re-write the ending. It was going to be hypnotic seafood on every platter in the Republic [face_plain] :p

    Mama Vader - No problem. I'll take what I can get.

    oqi - Thanks for the positive comments. I so owe you reviews for Keeper of Secrets (among other things). Glad you're enjoying yourself.

    Leona - That's great to hear. I personally love stuff like this, which is why I thought it would be a fun genre to tackle.

    Z - We do, too! So go to sleep, already!

    Sleep, indeed... [face_thinking]

    I guess this is where I show what a geek I am. You should look at my bathroom readers!? They include books on mindless humor, and atomic physics. Go figure.

    [face_laugh] Hey, at least no one will bother you there. Nothing like being on the verge of solving that differential equation and then someone comes in and says "Heyyy whats for dinner?!"

    That is a realistic and necessary mind set. Bravo for touching on it.

    Thanks. It seemed a logical perspective for him to take. He's use to being in control, and when he's not, in makes him pretty angry.

    aldo - I completely agree with you. Almost nothing in the SW material lends itself towards horror stories of the usual sort, and I definitely considered that going in. Those Force-related explanations for the supernatural will play some role later in the story. As always, I appreciate you following this.

    Chaos_Clone - Glad you're liking it, man.
     
  24. Exeter

    Exeter Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 2, 2005
    Sorry for the delay in getting a new chapter up - but the good news is they should be more regular (hopefully weekly) for a while again. I might even have the next chapter up by this Friday. Also, I'm thinking of putting together a PM list (I have a small unofficial one) together, so if you'd like to be PM'd for new chapters just let me know.




    [b]Chapter 6[/b]

    We ate lunch at a tiny hole-in-the-wall cantina known as The Esculent Empress, despite the fact that no royalty had ever dined there and cannibalism was generally frowned upon in the Republic since at [i]least[/i] last year. The eatery was infamous for its barfights and bantha burgers, though personally I found both to be a bit lacking. Nestled between a burnt-out foreign speeder import warehouse and a defunct insurance brokerage firm, the Empress was the kind of place you just knew was going to become too seedy to even bother taking the risk of stopping by. Five, ten years down the line, the entire district was either going to get sucked up by the factories or the felons, and at that time of corruption in Adhara City the distinction was debatable.

    But as of now, it was balanced right on the edge of that taunting line ? you know the one. It dares you with exhilaration and danger, beckoning you to step closer if you had the guts. And as a gun-toting merc, I couldn?t really pass up the opportunity to insert just a little bit of adventure into an otherwise unremarkable meal. I?d like to say that seeing Evadné was adventure enough for me, that she was all the excitement I needed, but I?d be a liar if I did. Truth was, and has always been, once the chase was over I tend to get bored. And with Evadné, the chase hadn?t even been that great.

    Yeah, so I?m a jerk. Most guys like me are.

    The thrill wasn?t even that entertaining, heading down into the rough areas of town. The two-credit thugs that roamed Adhara City weren?t much of a concern to me, seeing as how anything they could throw at me I could probably toss back tenfold. After all, a merc these days isn?t much more than a paid criminal.

    But I?m straying from the story. A roughneck waiter took our orders and delivered steaming plates onto the palmwood table only minutes later. Suddenly realizing how hungry I was, I dove into the food and began shoveling it in.

    ?Since when do you like seafood?? Evadné asked with a perplexed look.

    ?What?? I asked through a mouthful of food.

    ?Smoked shoveljaw?? She asked. ?Kaeso, you?re the only person on Psamtik that won?t eat aquatic delicacies?so what gives??

    I stared at her for a moment and then looked down at the food on my plate. Sure enough, it was a fishy thing. I flicked my tongue around my mouth, gauging the taste.

    Fish, alright.

    My mind wanted to respond with revulsion and disgust ? I?ll admit to having an irrational hatred, and maybe just a little bit of fear, for anything alive under the sea ever since a six meter long electrified kufish attacked me on Mon Cal when I was eight years old and landed me in the intensive care ward for a month. But none came. There were no involuntary stomach spasms, no bile rising in my throat, no pounding of my heart.

    What gives, indeed.

    ?Well? You?re not going crazy on me, are you Kaeso?? Evadné asked with a playful smirk.

    Any other time I would have shot back a smooth answer that would have made most women melt, but I suddenly found myself angry.

    Angry as hell.

    ?What?s that supposed to mean?? I demanded with more than a little vehemence in my voice.

    She looked taken aback at the outburst. ?Nothing?I ??

    ?Then let?s just eat,? I growled. ?I just felt like trying something new.?

    That was a lie. Truth be told, I wasn?t really sure why I was eating shoveljaw ? and apparently, enjoying it. The more I thought about it, I couldn?t recall the thought process behind ordering it, nor actually placing the order in the first place.

    Strange.

    I decided to ignore the troubling event and wrote it off as just a manifestation of the stress I?d been through in the
     
  25. oqidaun

    oqidaun Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2005
    Well, that was a vicious cliffie. [face_devil]

    The guy orders fish and doesn't even remember it. Eek.
    I'm still visualizing this in black and white and having a swell time at it, although a red and white checked table cloth sneaked in. I absolutely love the setting that you've crafted here and the suspense is delicious.

    =D=

    PM me, hell you can burn it into my lawn if it suits you.

     
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