Before - Legends Recognition (Horror, OC) 3,000 years pre-TPM, Updated 10/14

Ooooooooooo, it's getting worse for ol' Kaeso!

Very nice, er, creepy once again!

 

wonderful description of the area and cafe

bantha burgers

anyway yea loved the update. keep them coming

 

oqi - Well, that was a vicious cliffie.

I try

Shouldn't be long until it's resolved...into another cliffhanger, probably.

I'm still visualizing this in black and white and having a swell time at it, although a red and white checked table cloth sneaked in.

That's awesome! Though your comment in turn reminded me of the movie Pleasantville...

I absolutely love the setting that you've crafted here and the suspense is delicious.

I'm glad it's half as fun as it is to write. Now if only I can keep up a decent pace on the writing.

PM me, hell you can burn it into my lawn if it suits you.

I checked out some books on alchemy at the library (they give that stuff out like candy), so maybe I'll throw in a flaming effigy of Badour or two.

Leona - Judging by Kaeso's recent luck, I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's probably not a good thing

Thanks for the comment!

BigE - It's a good thing he's a tough guy, or he would be hiding under the covers by now.

Like me.

I appreciate it, man.

Chaos_Clone: Thanks for the read.

You too? It does sound pretty good. I think Burger King needs to expand their menu.

 

Great update. As we've learned so many times, whether from the movies, television, or our own personal experiences, nothing makes for a more awkward date than psychotic blackouts and supernatural possessions.

 

Okay, so I haven't R&R'd yet, but check out the new bio, Mike! And, I promise a review soon.

Z

 

Another great update. The pacing is great. Chapter 5 brilliantly lulled us into a false sense of security only to have Chapter 6 bring us back to the edge of our seats.

Anyway, his house was as empty as a Hutt?s galley at dinnertime.

There were tiny crystalline cracks in the book faces, the displays were dim, and their interfaces slower than Darth Malak at the dentist?s office.

Comedy gold!

But what he found at the bottom was completely unexpected! Some aberrant demon had thrashed itself free of the fabric ? and the daimyo now realized it had been trapped inside ? and was now flowing about the room in a disgusting semi-state of existence. It was bloated and yellow, its flesh viscous like the pus that accumulates in an infected wound and was little more than a great blob with a number of appendages. And one of those appendages had a striking resemblance to his neighbor! The daimyo escaped the terrible encounter with the loss of but one limb?

The account ends with the daimyo?s most shocking and chilling revelation: his dream had in fact been no dream at all??

As usual, your descriptiveness and imagery is top-notch!

Ordering seafood and not remembering it...a sudden loss of vision...or has he gained another's sight? Dangerous and disturbing this is.

Well done, Ex.

Please add me to the PM list.

 

You and your cliffhangers! This is gut-wrenching.

So, not only is Kaeso being pulled under the weird creature's spell, but it looks like he's starting to act like it? Eating fish and all... Hey, it would be kinda cool if the daydream vision he had was actually his reality crossing with whatever the creature's experiencing at that same moment. But then, I never know what to expect with this story, so I'm just going to enjoy it.

Definitely keep me on the PM list. I've grown very fond of the creative announcements.

 

Chapter 6
at that time of corruption in Adhara City the distinction was debatable.

I was eating while reading (someday I am going to learn not to do this) and nearly spraying my chicken salad all over (what a mess that would have been). This seriously sounds like where I currently live! Seriously.

And with Evadné, the chase hadn?t even been that great.

*snrk* I am just keeping my trap shut right about now.

?Since when do you like seafood?? Evadné asked with a perplexed look.

I?m guessing that food suddenly tasted a lot less good. *shivers*

?Well? You?re not going crazy on me, are you Kaeso?? Evadné asked with a playful smirk.

Um, lady, you shouldn?t blurt blunt truths out there like that with a merc, even on accident.

you?re left with fragments of both as your mind interfaces the two different visions.

I loved this line! Very succinctly put!

Alright, that is IT! I am never eating seafood again. No way. No how. Uh uh.

Is it wrong of me to not even be bothered by the fact that he doesn't remember ordering seafood?? Sorry, that sort of thing happens to me all the time!

 

aldo - You got that right. I can't tell you how many times my nice evening dinner has been ruined when my date starts cursing in the heathen tongues, possesses my mind with arcane and unholy black magic, and then tears my windpipe out with her mind. It makes for an awkward night, all right

Z/Mustafear - I love that sock name.

Bale - Glad you liked the jokes. They are a big part of Kaeso's character - his sarcastic and humorous writing style is a deflection method to make light of his narrative - else he remember the events all too vividly.

or has he gained another's sight?

Good theory. Very good. Good good good.

Dangerous and disturbing this is.

I agree, Yoda

Please add me to the PM list.

You got it.

Jade - This is gut-wrenching.

You want gut-wrenching? Just see what Kaeso has to deal with this chapter (literally)!

So, not only is Kaeso being pulled under the weird creature's spell, but it looks like he's starting to act like it?

It does appear that way, doesn't it?

Hey, it would be kinda cool if the daydream vision he had was actually his reality crossing with whatever the creature's experiencing at that same moment.

Yes, that would be cool, wouldn't it?

But then, I never know what to expect with this story, so I'm just going to enjoy it.

Unfortunately, you've guessed too close to the direction the plot was heading, so I have no choice but to kill everyone off this next chapter




Thanks for reading.

Z - I was eating while reading (someday I am going to learn not to do this) and nearly spraying my chicken salad all over (what a mess that would have been ).

I've done that quite a few times myself.

This seriously sounds like where I currently live! Seriously.

Seriously?

*snrk* I am just keeping my trap shut right about now.

No, please don't! I love to hear your trap's comments.

Um, lady, you shouldn?t blurt blunt truths out there like that with a merc, even on accident.

Especially one whose mental stability has seen better days.

Alright, that is IT! I am never eating seafood again. No way. No how. Uh uh

I've always been suspicious of lobsters, personally.

Is it wrong of me to not even be bothered by the fact that he doesn't remember ordering seafood?? Sorry, that sort of thing happens to me all the time!

You might want to get that checked out.

 

Chapter 7

?Kaeso? What is it??

Her words were lost on me. At that point I was so baffled that a table-dancing Wookiee wouldn?t have grabbed my attention. Nothing made any sense to my battered brain. Goosebumps erupted on my flesh.

It sure wasn?t the alcohol in my bloodstream, not after a weak three kelp beers. I?ve knocked back that just to wash an appetizer down. Besides, this wasn?t like being intoxicated. It was?weird.

There was another sudden flash of movement and I threw up my arms to ward it off, slamming my chair over and toppling onto my back.

?Kaeso!? Evadné cried, getting to her feet.

?Ya all right, hon?? A passing waitress asked with a concerned tone.

I listened to them both with the sort of detached interest you?d give a Hutt-sponsored swoop race. Yeah, it?s a swoop race, and yeah, there will be a winner, but it won?t be your man. You might as well put money down on a line of Gammorean hair-care products. You?d probably see a better return on your investment.

?I?m fine,? I said, more forcefully than I had intended. ?I?ll be right back.?

I headed for the ?fresher, catching a brief glimpse of Evadné?s hurt look as I walked quickly past her. Isn?t it funny how you seem to lose control of yourself when you?re in a relationship? Things just come out, whether you mean them or not. I can?t tell you how many times my mind has screamed for my mouth to stop, but the poison keeps rolling off my tongue anyway. You find yourself being irrational in arguments, lying even to yourself just to stave off admitting you?re wrong. Why do we do it?

I?m really beginning to think people are vile in general, but maybe I?m just biased. We mercs have never been known for philosophical discussions on morality and human nature. They say kill and we ask, ?who?? and ?for how much??

I?ve strayed again ? I never said I was good at writing. But I?ve got a story to tell, and you?d better believe I need to get this one off of my chest.

I stumbled my way into the ?fresher, crashing against the wall before the motion-activated door slid open and I made it inside. My eyes were seeing things but I couldn?t sort any of it out. In a way, it reminded me of the time on Felucia when I?d been doing wetwork as a cut-out for an intergalactic pharmaceuticals giant that preferred to keep its monopoly through the ?discouragement? of the competition. After a real cheerful time in the jungle underbrush for four days on surveillance, I ran out of field rations and picked the wrong fungus to chew on. I couldn?t see straight for ten hours afterward.

I thought for a second it could be the fish I ate, but other than my eyes, I felt all right. It didn?t feel like food contamination and I hadn?t tasted any bitter traces in the shoveljaw to suggest any deliberate, malicious poisoning.

I stared at myself in the mirror. My eyes were red with irritation from all of the rubbing but otherwise looked normal. I was sweating and looked pale, but for all intents and purposes I was the same Kaeso Landrith that hadn?t slept in a day and a half.

I stood still and concentrated, trying to slow my racing heart. The visions were constant now ? murky images interspersed with murky movement. It was terribly confusing, like a daydream that won?t stop. I studied those images in an attempt to figure out what was going on.

The murkiness was a dark green and shimmered slowly ? I thought I could see a light source through the fog, rippling in the same way a mountain brook would from a gust of wind.

Something about that thought froze me stiff. Brook?water?

Underwater. I suddenly realized I was seeing something from underneath water.

What in the?

My gut seized up and my mind spun with shock. It was unfathomable ? the kind of thing that doesn?t make any sense in the real world. It defied my ability to reason, and in a way it still does to this day.

I shut my eyes in a desperate attempt to force the terrible visions out, taking the coward?s route for the first time in

 

I like my dirty old sock, too. It suits me just fine. Did you notice, though, the recent addition to my ?Recommended Reading? list in the profile?

The comment I ?kept my trap shut? for was? um, unlady-like. While you may know I am no lady, I do have a certain reputation to uphold on these boards due to the Creche and my work with the Younglings and all so !

Get what checked out? I forgot.

Chapter 7
There was another sudden flash of movement and I threw up my arms to ward it off, slamming my chair over and toppling onto my back.

Run while you still can, Evadne.

You might as well put money down on a line of Gammorean hair-care products.

I, sadly, understand that level of detachment. It?s something that generally only surfaces when I have a seizure or my husband watches football.

I can?t tell you how many times my mind has screamed for my mouth to stop, but the poison keeps rolling off my tongue anyway.

I hated this line. I think I hated it because it was TRUTH (please note the CAPS).

Getting me to love a line is hard enough, but getting me to hate one is even harder. Bravo.

I?m really beginning to think people are vile in general, but maybe I?m just biased.

I love this guy, Mike. Love. Him.

They say kill and we ask, ?who?? and ?for how much??

Have I told you lately that I love your OC? Please tell me he is a Gary Stu and he really exists out there somewhere!!!

I?m sorry, I can?t keep pulling out all of the fun, worthy lines or this would take forever!
*returns to reading*
*looks up again, briefly*
Loved the ?fungus? though.

Your working the ?standard ?fresher equipment? into place was bloody brilliant.

The moment of Kaeso?s realization and desperate resolve was chilling. Well done, Mike!

My outburst a moment earlier was nothing compared to the scream I let loose; I cried, I yelled, I screeched and moaned.

I know you aren?t the type to allow a character to go through this torture (even of his own volition) without showing some semblance of the pain, but THANK YOU for the scream. It makes me feel so much better. That makes me blood thirsty, doesn?t it? Oh well.

After a moment of recovery, I climbed to my feet. I glanced at the washer and saw a label that read:

WARNING: Use only as directed. Prolonged exposure can be hazardous to your health. If you experience persistent irritation related to this device, seek medical assistance immediately. Keep away from eyes and mucous membranes.

- Ministry of Health and Safety

Thanks, will do.

1- Surprised that he could read it at all after that!
2- I love this guy. ?Thanks. Will do.? I think it begins to show that I grew up as an ARMY brat, doesn?t it?

Let?s just say he got the bad end of a poor deal.

I remember a similar incident during my nine months of Hell on Earth, otherwise known as pregnancy. My poor, poor husband.

The green water lay on the edge of my mind as if taunting me.

Look, Exe, I KNOW that you are trying to give me the chills, but it is below freezing outside and my house is COLD? I am trying to stay warm and you have me shivering anyway! Stop it.

Actually, that?s a terrible example. Kids are doing that all the time now. I?d like to get my hands on the manufacturer who first thought it would be a great idea to start installing holo-projectors into speeders.

ROTFLMFAO and that is all I have to say about that!

You know, this account is going to be so disjointed by the time I finish it, it?s going to need a surgeon with a specialty in electron beam welding

You think?

I felt a cold envelop

 

Funny, yet still horrific. Overall, a great new chapter! I liked how you described the Star Wars handwashing process, and how the narrator (Kaeso) described it as if of course we knew what it was. Really reminds you of just what you're reading.

 

Z - The comment I ?kept my trap shut? for was? um, unlady-like. While you may know I am no lady, I do have a certain reputation to uphold on these boards due to the Creche and my work with the Younglings and all so!

I suppose we do have to keep up appearances. Still, that's what they made PMs for.

Get what checked out? I forgot.

Not to worry - it's probably too late anyway.

Run while you still can, Evadne.

That's really an important observation. Specifically, while you still can.

I, sadly, understand that level of detachment. It?s something that generally only surfaces when I have a seizure or my husband watches football.

Hahaha. I'm telling you, you're missing out on football. Such a great sport.

I hated this line. I think I hated it because it was TRUTH (please note the CAPS).

Getting me to love a line is hard enough, but getting me to hate one is even harder. Bravo.

Thanks. I think we've all experienced this at least once in our relationships...

I love this guy, Mike. Love. Him.

Well, he is currently taken, but there is a lonely undersea creature who could use a "friend"

Have I told you lately that I love your OC? Please tell me he is a Gary Stu and he really exists out there somewhere!!!

You've mentioned it once or twice.

Okay, I admit it...Kaeso is really me. I'm a mercenary-for-hire. But don't tell anyone.

Your working the ?standard ?fresher equipment? into place was bloody brilliant.

Yeah, I thought about it for a while. For some reason, a sink with running water just didn't strike me as likely for Star Wars.

I know you aren?t the type to allow a character to go through this torture (even of his own volition) without showing some semblance of the pain, but THANK YOU for the scream. It makes me feel so much better.

No problem. I figured a guts-for-breakfast merc shrieking would demonstrate the helplessness and terrifying nature of what he is dealing with - especially for a guy who has never given any credit to the supernatural/mystical.

That makes me blood thirsty, doesn?t it? Oh well.

I already knew you were something of a bloodsucker

1- Surprised that he could read it at all after that!

Well, they do pay him for his resiliency. He's the type to take a few blaster bolts and keep going, making you roll your eyes mutter "overachiever".

2- I love this guy. ?Thanks. Will do.? I think it begins to show that I grew up as an ARMY brat, doesn?t it?

Join the club, though I wasn't an Army brat but an Army rat.

I remember a similar incident during my nine months of Hell on Earth, otherwise known as pregnancy. My poor, poor husband.

Yeah, it happens. I have a couple of stories that are like that too, but with less pregnancy.


Look, Exe, I KNOW that you are trying to give me the chills, but it is below freezing outside and my house is COLD? I am trying to stay warm and you have me shivering anyway! Stop it.

My work here is done!

ROTFLMFAO and that is all I have to say about that!

It really is a pet peeve of mine. It just bugs me. There's so many times I wish I had anti-personnel weaponry mounted on my car.

I am fairly certain that the temperature just dropped here, too. Way to go, Mike.

Why did I read this now, in the dark, just before bed? With Dean gone??? Stupid me!

Awesome! He'll neeeeeeverrr geeeet baaaacck innnn tiiime....

Exeter, well thought and executed! As much as I laughed, it still ended on a spooky note for me and the laughter only punctuated the tension. The rambling, disjointed ?dialogue? with Kaeso was a brilliant way to communicate the madness that he now knows.

Glad you understood that, since I was trying to give that impression. Though he's writing this after the fact, it still stirs up memories he'd rather not have and therefore his humor/rambling is a method of dis

 

Well, I don't know if I can compete will all of those responses, so I'll just say that I find this line particularly enjoyable:

I tried twice more to make it back to my place, but after twenty minutes of desperation I cut the engine and leaned back just off of the beach, staring into that sapphire expanse.

A nice combination of
* frustration
* acceptance
* repose (such as it is)


Excellent as always. I look forward to what happens next. Can Kaeso possibly tear himself away now that he's gotten this far??

 

Wow!
The imagery is really evocative and funny as hell for the most part. The entire bit in the fresher from DIY eye surgery to vomiting on the slob was utterly brilliant. Hot damn! That's quality fic!

The last part.
I see him careening towards the beach in an old Packard... Yeah, I know it's SW, but it's a Packard speeder. Incredible scene. You've really sealed the deal on the Twilight Zone experience.




Pleasantville! That's a great film.

 

love it as usual Exeter
keep those creepy chapters coming

 

Just...wow. Hey, why is everyone still alive?

The way you describe Kaeso's visions and pain and fear is amazing. Always using the environment around him to add to the sensations. Plus, his little flashbacks and tangents add so much, as they flesh out both his current situation and his voice in general. The tangents especially make him a very real character, because who doesn't go off like that in the middle of a story? The sarcastic humor, of course, was excellent!

Once again, loved the PM!

 

Table-dancing Wookiees, the scene in the fresher, the Trandonshan bully ... you're killing me w/ laughter.

This poor merc. I'm starting to think that your mind is as twisted as oqi's.

Another great update, Ex.

 

Great chapter! The little treat Kaseo gave his eyes sure was described by him, quite vividly. I love the little sidetracks and sidejokes the narrator writes too...adds quite a bit of realism to the account.

By the way, I definitely agree about the Gammorean hair care products. It's an industry with a low of room for growth and yet still maintains a very low PE Ratio. Definitely undervalued. Buy Buy Buy!

 

You know, Exeter, I'm beginning to wonder what the heck I said to you to inspire such a creepy creepy fic. Maybe I should watch what I say to people from now on...

Anyway, I finally got caught up with this; I'm sorry it took me so long. I'm loving this OC; you've done a wonderful job with his character, and I love the way he's so upfront and simple. I wish I could go back and highlight all the lines I love to death, but there're too many to fit here, and plus I'd be here for hours. You're one of the few writers who can make me laugh uncontrollably one minute, only to have chills shooting down my spine the next. I've got this sense of impending doom sitting in my stomach right now, and I need to know what happens. Clearly he lives (otherwise how is he telling this story? Unless he's a ghost or something...) but what I want to know is how.

The writing is wonderful, the monster is just plain freaky, and the characters are real and engaging, as usual. Do you think you could add me to that PM list? That way I won't have any excuse for falling behind.

Update soon!

Stormqueen

 

I just found this story, but I love it! Count me in as a regular reader from now on, and if you do update PMs, I'd love one for this story

 

BigE - A nice combination of
* frustration
* acceptance
* repose (such as it is)

I agree. Kaeso is into something here that he cannot understand - its beyond everything he knows and has been trained to accept. He's certainly frustrated, because he's used to simply being able to blow a hole through anyone or anything he has a problem with (a solution he's yet to try, if you've noticed ). Here, he's also beginning to accept his own vulnerability and helplessness.

Can Kaeso possibly tear himself away now that he's gotten this far??

We can only hope.

oqi - The entire bit in the fresher from DIY eye surgery to vomiting on the slob was utterly brilliant. Hot damn! That's quality fic!

Thanks! I had fun writing that whole sequence.

I see him careening towards the beach in an old Packard... Yeah, I know it's SW, but it's a Packard speeder. Incredible scene. You've really sealed the deal on the Twilight Zone experience.

Actually, that's amazing - I can picture that pretty well, now that you mention it. You've managed to give me a new perspective on my own work - pretty impressive/nefarious

Pleasantville! That's a great film.

It really is. One of those movies that is just different enough from the usual fare to really strike a chord and be interesting.

Chaos_Clone - Thanks buddy! I'm glad you're still reading.

Jade - Hey, why is everyone still alive?

Don't worry. Your bloodlust will saked soon enough

Plus, his little flashbacks and tangents add so much, as they flesh out both his current situation and his voice in general. The tangents especially make him a very real character, because who doesn't go off like that in the middle of a story?

You know, that's what I was thinking when I developed that part of his personality. I know I definitely do that in conversations. It reminds me of a professor I had back in -


Just kidding

Thanks for commenting.

Bale - It's a relief that the humor is being well received. I really wanted Kaeso's cynicism to feel natural and obviously his jokes are a big part of that.

This poor merc. I'm starting to think that your mind is as twisted as oqi's.

I'll take that as a compliment

aldo - Great chapter! The little treat Kaseo gave his eyes sure was described by him, quite vividly.

It sure couldn't be a fun experience, but it was surely memorable. Something to share with the grandkids, assuming some barnacle of the deep doesn't devour you first.

I love the little sidetracks and sidejokes the narrator writes too...adds quite a bit of realism to the account.

I'm glad you think so.

By the way, I definitely agree about the Gammorean hair care products. It's an industry with a low of room for growth and yet still maintains a very low PE Ratio. Definitely undervalued. Buy Buy Buy!

I concur wholeheartedly. With solid backing from a group of dedicated and well-represented investors, they could take a considerable percentage of the market.

Holly - You know, Exeter, I'm beginning to wonder what the heck I said to you to inspire such a creepy creepy fic.

Rather than a single thing it's more of a macro-level take on you as a whole.

Err...I mean...it's because you're my favoritist person?

Maybe I should watch what I say to people from now on...

I think that ship sailed a long time ago.

You're one of the few writers who can make me laugh uncontrollably one minute, only to have chills shooting down my spine the next. I've got this sense of impending doom sitting in my stomach right now, and I need to know what happens.

That's very refreshing to hear, especially from someone that I know writes horror and chill-evoking stories so well.

Clearly he lives (otherwise how is he telling this story? Unless he's a ghost or something...)