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Beyond - Legends Reintegration - OC Revolution Challenge Response

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Ink.Knight, Oct 15, 2014.

  1. Ink.Knight

    Ink.Knight Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Feb 2, 2013
    A little one-shot with my OC's Jake and Darra in response to the current challenge over at the OC Revolution.

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    Jake blamed the shifting crowds around them for not noticing Darra's state of mind right away. He was used to interacting with her in quiet and solitude, just the two of them and nature. But this was the farthest thing he'd ever experienced from that. Even before everything went to hell they'd still had a fairly quiet life, and this was a bustling marketplace on a whole different planet. Even the air felt different, too dry. So if it took him longer than usual to realize that Darra was on the verge of explosion, well no one could really blame him. But once he did figure it out he acted quickly, guiding her out of the worst of the crowds and back into the semi-privacy of the docking slip where their guide's transport rested.

    Her blue eyes were wide, nostrils flared as her breathing came out harsh and shallow. He recognized the signs of a panic attack, though they'd only started after the two of them had figured out what had happened to their families. And even then they'd been rare. Still, if anything was going to set Darra off it would be this. She'd never done well with change. So he framed her face between two large hands and pressed his forehead to hers, staring straight into her eyes.

    “Breathe with me Dar, c'mon. Nice and easy.” He spoke softly and evenly, like they had all the time in the universe and there wasn't anything outside the two of them. His long fingers covered her ears, helping to muffle the sounds of the crowd as he brought her focus slowly around to just him. He kept talking, saying things along the same vein until she was matching her breathing to his and her trembling muscles started to relax. Eventually the tension melted away; her breathing and pulse evened out, and she came back to the here and now. He knew because there was a brief moment of complete relaxation in her lean frame pressed against his, something he only saw from her when the two of them were alone and knew they were relatively safe, before she pulled back and straightened. Her lips lightly brushed his palm as she did so in a silent thank you but once she was standing straight once more her expression was once again set to something cool and calculating.

    “We should catch up.” She said, turning and heading back out into the crowd to find one of the crew that had brought them from their home in order to have them meet with their superiors back in the core. But first they'd needed to stop for some supplies, getting off of their home planet had been harder in practice than it had seemed in theory. They found the pilot, Tobias, looking around for them anxiously and Jake reflexively smiled in reply to his relieved grin as he bounded over to them. The lanky young man was younger than them, somewhere around twenty cycles, and still had the enthusiasm of a young boy despite his job piloting recovery and aide missions to places savaged by the war. Inquisitive brown eyes jumped between the two of them before settling on Jake, knowing from the past few weeks of acquaintanceship that though Darra often took the lead when it came to anything tactical or survival related Jake was much more likely to answer questions and even hold a pleasant conversation.

    “You guys okay? Lila sent me back to find you, thought you mighta gotten lost.” Tobias asked, so casual about throwing his emotions out into the open that Jake could feel Darra bristle at his side. He let the back of his hand brush hers to calm her while giving the boy a smile.

    “Yeah, we got a little turned around. Not used to so many people you know?” He replied with a self-deprecating shrug, causing the lanky pilot to look a little sheepish.

    “Oh yeah...I'd kinda forgotten about that.” He admitted, and Jake could practically hear Darra trying not to roll her eyes beside him. In fact she turned to observe the crowd just to keep from chewing the kid out because she knew Jake wouldn't approve. Just like Jake would love to wrap an arm around her shoulders or even take her hand in his own, knowing the physical contact would help ease the shock for both of them of stepping into civilization after years living on their own, but he knew even better that Darra would reject anything that might display weakness to the people around them. They'd lived so long on the edge of survival that it would be hard for them to let go of those habits; if they ever could. But Tobias shrugged off his discomfort and waved towards the end of the open-air bazaar that the docking areas had opened onto.

    “C'mon, the rest of the team's over at the bar.” He said before leading the way through the crowds and towards a building with a lit-up sign done in shades of bright blue and green designed to catch the eye. They followed him, Darra wound up and watching everything with darting blue eyes as they walked while Jake did his best to emanate calm and keep her balanced. But when they step into the dim light of the drinking den he isn't surprised to feel her recoil at the new sounds and smells. They hadn't had much exposure to alcohol in their life, and the scent of it filled the building in several variations that made his nose crinkle. That plus the blast of noise from having so many beings in one space, all talking over one another, nearly sent Darra spiraling again.

    But his hands come up to rest on her shoulders, giving them a squeeze that allows her to center herself once more before she heads over to join Tobias and the others at a corner table they seem to have claimed. Joll, large and somber as always, gives them a nod of greeting as he sips from a tumbler of amber liquid. Next to him the Twi'lek who'd introduced himself to them as Sal smiled and raised his glass, filled with something almost painfully bright green, in their direction. Doctor Ilesar gave them a measuring look before returning to her conversation with the Jedi knight who had led their mission. Jedi Maris gave them a friendly smile, though it was a bit distracted as she nodded along to whatever the doctor was saying to her. Staying close to Darra as they sat Jake returned their silent greetings in kind, stretching his arm over the back of Darra's chair to comfort himself with her presence as much as to anchor her. It was definitely strange, being thrust back into life in the rest of the galaxy after so long on their own. But it was nice too, to know that life had gone on elsewhere. Even when they'd been the only ones left in their own home, others had been out here still living.
     
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  2. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 21, 2006
    Nice story.
    Like your OC's
     
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  3. Mando-Man

    Mando-Man Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Dec 1, 2008
    I thought this captured the challenge idea perfectly. Its good to have some competition this time around :p :D

    Great story.
     
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  4. Findswoman

    Findswoman Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    Enjoyable little vignette and a nice introduction to your OCs. Glad they have a circle of friends there for them—hopefully that will provide the comfort and morale Dara needs, as well as bring her and Jake new hope for the future.
     
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  5. Ink.Knight

    Ink.Knight Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Feb 2, 2013
    Thanks :)

    Ha! Well I'm glad to fill that role then, having another win handed to you probably wouldn't be good for your ego. :p

    Thank you. I wasn't sure if tossing everyone this far into their origin story would work out, since there's a lot of details I don't cover of what happened to them. Especially in connection to Darra's panic attack. But I'm glad it worked out.
     
  6. Mando-Man

    Mando-Man Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Dec 1, 2008
    No having another win handed to me would be horrible for my ego and it isn't as much fun to be honest. :D
     
  7. K'Tai qel Letta-Tanku

    K'Tai qel Letta-Tanku Jedi Grand Master star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 18, 2000
    Very nicely done. It was a perfect moment for a vignette: we don't need to know the entire backstory to the panic attacks to appreciate how Darra and Jake look out for one another.
     
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  8. Kahara

    Kahara Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 3, 2001
    This was a wonderful section; it gives a clear picture of how Darra and Jake depend on each other. Helping Darra seems to be Jake's stability point, while she takes the role of lookout and careful watcher when she's not overwhelmed. Nice sense of balance and contrast between their personalities.

    I actually really like the "just dropped in" way that things are handled here. There's enough background detail that we have some context, but the interactions also speak for themselves. And it makes me want to read the story that we're clearly in the middle of, so that I can learn just why they were alone for so long (stranded?) and what they're doing on a mission with all these other characters. :)
     
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  9. Ink.Knight

    Ink.Knight Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Feb 2, 2013
    Yeah without Jake, Darra would have trouble stabilizing herself emotionally. She tends to react in the extreme, one way or another. He's her balance, and helping her remain balanced balances him as well. Whereas for Jake, Darra is the source of his strength. Knowing she's there, always by his side, helps him have the courage to step out of his comfort zone.

    And yay! I'm glad it worked out. I'll try to write some more with these guys soon. Though seeing as they're my main OC's you'll probably be seeing a lot of them in response to the Revolution challenges. lolz
     
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  10. Viridian-Maiden

    Viridian-Maiden Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2013
    Bravo. What I really love about this vignette is the way you focused on such a small moment. You took something we've probably all experienced at some point or another and might be otherwise too subtle to notice in real life and given us a close-up. I love that ability to slow down and make us see things we could otherwise speed by. I really want to know more about Jake and Darra and their experience, too. This was my introduction but I love these two already.
     
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  11. Ink.Knight

    Ink.Knight Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Feb 2, 2013
    Thanks. :) I basically took the prompt and decided I didn't want to get too heavy into their plot this time around, so I found something simple that I could use to fulfill it as a bit of a character study piece. I'm glad you liked it.
     
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  12. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Game Host star 7 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Hi, sorry to wander in so late LOL =D=
    I like reading more of your OCs @};- and am glad they have found allies and potential friends. Love that they're each other's anchor. :D
     
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  13. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 11, 2014
    I don't have much to add to what's already been said, so I'll just quote :)
    Is this part of the same narrative as your "untitled" fic?
     
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  14. Ink.Knight

    Ink.Knight Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Feb 2, 2013
    Ah, yeah. If you mean the one I've mentioned in the OC thread. Jake and Darra have been with me for a long time, almost ten years now actually. They've changed a lot since then, and this latest version is probably the most different from the others. I've even played with them in other genres, but they always end up back here in the Star Wars verse. I admit I need to do a bit more research into a few things before I start working in earnest on their newest story. It's been long enough since I read the books in question that I'm not as familiar with the tech and cultures involved as I once was. This fic, and their story in general, takes place post-Vong but without the Killik crisis.
     
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  15. Rau_Fang

    Rau_Fang Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 28, 2005
    I agree with Viridian-Maiden - it's a very small moment that makes me feel like Jake and Darra need a larger narrative to live and breath. Which actually makes the claustrophobia that Darra must be feeling even more palpable.

    Well done!
     
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  16. brodiew

    brodiew Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 11, 2005
    I enjoyed this introduction to your OCs. You did a great job creating tension related to Darra's emotional instability. Jake is a great comforting presence. General questions:

    Are they siblings or unrelated war orphans?

    Was this simply a rescue mission or is something larger going on with the team?

    Do they have any special skills?

    I would love know more about these two.
     
  17. Ink.Knight

    Ink.Knight Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Feb 2, 2013
    Unrelated, but they've been best friends their entire lives. Neighbors, partners in school projects, the whole shebang.

    The team's sort of a recon/rescue thing checking on border settlements and other places that haven't been heard from now that things have kinda calmed down after the war.

    They're both natural fighters and survivors, but I think their best skill is their ability to work together. They're almost dangerously codependent but they make a hell of a team.