Relics of Fate script ready to review.

Well... at the end the evil cheesegrater type person bursts out of the temple with the evil codex- and the girl is tempted by the darkside or somthing.... Or did my modem splutter out or somthing ... (Shutting up...)

 

Ok I just finished it and... I liked it a lot. I liked the characters (Aster, Carn, Osiris being my favourites) but didn't like a few things.

*SPOILERS*
1.)I did not like the revelation at the end with Calmir being the pilot...it really made no sense and held no purpose. Also there was way too many revelations at the end...the Emperor coming back, Lily being a dark jedi... it was just like "whoa save some for the sequel, don't leave us too hanging, give us an ending to be satisfied with"

2.) There was sometimes too much going on with way too many characters to keep track of.

3.) And I know you get this a lot but, it was way too long. The three acts of that script could make a really good trilogy (just bulking up some parts a bit). Also, much of the first hour seems packed...there's so much plotline there that it would seem much longer. Another beef, some of the movies main characters (Corrin) get introduced way too late (Corrin like an hour in)

4.) If the splitting into three movies doesn't sound good then my main suggestion would be to trim the beginning a lot.. before the Jedi are captured.

*

Sorry of that was a lot, understand if I didn't really like your script and think that it had huge potential than I would never critique it this much, nor would I give it a response (and certainly not two)

There, I read, I reviewed.

 

Thank you for your help. You may have a point about the dark jedi girl thing...

I've mangaged to do several cuts as it is. The script is down to 161 pages from it's original 190. I think that's quite an achevement. (My goal is 150.)

Thank you both for reading the whole thing.

 

Yes that is quite an achievement, I myself know how hard it can be to cut things out...because sometimes its not that its bad, its that you really need to keep the pace which can lead to sacrificing some great stuff...

 

well cut it is good but just don't cut the main idea of the whole thing. just offering my help in anyway show or form. hope you don't forget about the filming because i'm really looking forward to this.

 

Don't worry Muadibe, just be here for the auditions. I PROMISE I'll tell you when they are a couple months in advance.

I can't wait until I write episodes II and III. They're going to be a blast. We're talking some serious stuff here.

There is a lot of stuff that foreshadows episode 2 and 3 here, so I know what to cut and what not to cut. *SPOILER* But be ready for a duel between Corrin and Kael. Very emotional *END SPOILER*

Is there anything else in the script that doesn't help move the film along?

-Corrin

 

So how many other parts have ben cast so far?

 

I just printed out your script and I'm looking forward to reading it. I guess it's a matter of formatting because your script came out at 180 pages for me.

This is definitely an ambitious project! It's been years since I left film school but in those days the rule of thumb was 1 page of script = 1 minute of film time = 1 hour of editing.

Pretty rough estimate but I'm assuming you have some battles, fights, etc. You may have to cut some more if you want to hit your 2 hour time limit. Just a friendly bit of advice.

Again, looking forward to reading it. Good luck!

 

i'm signing up for an acting class at dean college in franklin so i'll have some more experience.

 

hehe i was in deep mediatation ready the script over and over an i very much like the part where carn see an illusion of akbahr and aster that makes him mad... i'm gonna have fun with that part hehe (just kidding)

 

well i'm just keeping this thing alive.