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  1. Welcome to the new boards! Details here!

Before - Legends Republic and Rebellion (KotOR Era) - Chapter 26 Posted December 23rd!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by LaForzaViva, Jul 13, 2010.

  1. LaForzaViva

    LaForzaViva Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 6, 2008
    Title: Republic and Rebellion

    Author: LaForzaViva

    Timeframe: KotOR Era (specifically 3,970 BBY, 9 years before the Mandalorian Wars 'start', 15 years before KotOR starts)

    Characters: Six main characters are OCs, numerous supporting characters are Jedi from KotOR 1 and 2

    Genre: Action, Drama, Romance, Politics, Thriller

    Keywords: OC, KotOR, Mandalorians, Jedi, Senate

    Summary: Sebastian Ardin, a charismatic and young politician hopes to push the Republic to war against a little known planet named Farso VI. Yveret Pax, a Republic Lieutenant fights against Sebastian's designs, acting outside her authority and risking her promising career. Visto Cafran, an aging Jedi with a special ability, studies the sides, trying to locate the true motivations for possible war. Shad Alaam, a young man on Farso VI, discovers he must hide a newfound power to survive. Erisi Altathir, a new Coruscanti journalist, tries to sort out the impending war, requesting to join any army that is sent to the planet. Mek Yrias, a resistance leader on Farso VI, fights the planetary government and hopes to bring new power, religion, and tradition to what he believes is a corrupt and dying government. A seemingly small-time tale with large ramifications for all involved.

    Disclaimer: Playing in Lucas' sandbox yadda yadda we know this part. I apologize if characters names or personalities are similar to others - I in no way built characters upon other poster's characters.

    Constructive criticism and suggestions are welcome. If you believe I have made a continuity error, let me know - I'm trying to keep this story in the canon as much as possible. If you wish to be on a PM list, just let me know and I'll make sure you receive them when chapters are ready. Off we go!

    PM List: SoA, JediDingo

    Author's Note: Certain characters have certain accents depending on what planet they grew up on, or where their formative years were spent. For example, the Coruscanti accent is akin to a high-class British accent; Grand Moff Tarkin in Episode 4 is the principal example, in addition to Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. The Farsian VI accent should be imagined as that of an American accent. Chandrilan's speak with a mixture of high-class British and lower-class British. If you want to put your own voice to a character, please feel free; these are simply the accents I've built in my own head that distinguish characters and their way of speaking.





    Chapter 1

    Sebastian sat waiting, tapping his right foot as the luxury speeder curved through Coruscant?s skylanes. The flight from his office to the Senate took less than a minute, especially with his personal clearance to the skylane used by the most powerful men and women on the planet. He ran a hand through his short hair, admiring his reflection in the darkened speeders? windows while he counted down the final ten seconds to docking.

    He smiled, pleased with the outfit his tailor had presented to him a day ago. A deep red half-cape fluttered down the left side of his back. Impeccable white pants with a pressed crease complimented the equally perfect and starched white top, cut in a military style popular on Brosi so as not to give anyone the impression he was a Republic admiral. The speeder slowed imperceptibly to most but he was keener than most. As the speeder?s doors opened, his mind snapped back into focus. Today was an important day. A very important day.

    He stepped into a small elevator, alone. The metal box shot up twenty floors as Sebastian checked the security of his shoulder cape. The doors peeled open with nary a sound. A grand blue carpet stretched out from the elevator. White lines cut neatly through the pattern based on the elliptical and circular orbits the Core Worlds made around the galaxy. The lighting was dimmed somewhat throughout the corridor, a corridor Sebastian knew was circular but that never felt anything but straight due to its incredible dimensions. He felt the dimmed lights
     
  2. JediDingo

    JediDingo Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2005
    Holy bantha that was amazinnnnng! Wow. You have put a lot of thought into this! I love it. Perhaps a crossover is called for? Lol a small one? I kid I kid... But no really lol
     
  3. LaForzaViva

    LaForzaViva Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 6, 2008
    JediDingo - I've never done a crossover before but we can certainly talk about it. Is Aaryn's story relatively close in terms of time as mine? I can't recall exact dates about the Mandalorian Wars and don't have a good grasp on it compared to the history you've woven in. But if you have an idea of what/how it might work I'll probably be up for it!
     
  4. LaForzaViva

    LaForzaViva Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 6, 2008
    This chapter introduces the three other characters the story will follow. Two of the characters on the planet in question are behind time-wise, but their stories will catch up to present day within the next two postings. This will also probably be the last chapter to go through three viewpoints, I'll most likely revert to chapter having 2 medium length viewpoint follows or 1 very long one in case of certain events. Thanks for reading everyone!

    Chapter 2


    Six years before?

    Shad stepped slowly toward the concrete stand, resigned to his fate. Not a fate he imagined for himself, staring blankly at the man before him. The man, an official of the government, sat quietly, waiting to punish the young man stepping before him. Shad looked down at his worn boots, the sole beginning to come loose on the right boot. They were dusty. Then again, everything was dusty.

    Without a word, the official stood from his chair, his hand resting on his blaster. Shad glanced at the worn, grey metal it was made from, wondering what it would feel like to be shot. Not that he was much ready for something like that, but his curiosity, morbidly, was peaked. Shad looked to the official?s face, seeing nothing but bland features in turn. The man wordlessly nodded and pushed forward the keyboard to the data terminal.

    He entered his information as best he knew, which to be honest, was not much. He wasn?t even sure he spelled his name right, seeing as he had been given little education in his youth. Few children were taught interesting things, or what he thought was interesting. Planets, stars, the galaxy, weapons, literature, music all captivated his interest, but on Farso VI, there was no room for those subjects. Only in passing at the cities cantina?s did he hear much from the few spacers and smugglers that came to this dusty, far away planet.

    The official reviewed the data, changing a few points here and there while glancing up at Shad intermittently. Eventually, the terminal pinged back a reply and the official finally displayed some emotion with a slight, knowing smile.

    ?Welcome to Mining Corps,? he said, handing over a pack with a large, electronic tool strapped to it. ?Report to mine 6A tomorrow at 0630. I strongly recommend testing out the equipment to make sure it doesn?t backfire on you, when it matters.? Shad thanked the man with a simple nod and turned on his heel.

    The return to his village would take him the rest of the afternoon. The cold air filtered through the small hole on his boot, chilling half his body as he buttoned the old coat tighter to his frame. Farso VI was near the edge of the habitable zone planets could be in to their sun, or so the spacers told him. The further from a sun, the colder. The closer to a sun, the warmer. The spacers always complained about the cold. And the dust.

    It was the dust that one smuggler compared Farso to Tatooine. He described that planet as Farso?s opposite in temperature and identical in temperament. It was hot, orbiting two suns close to it, but it was also dusty and sandy. No one knew its history, just as no one knew Farso?s history. The smuggler told the rapt audience that night about how Tatooine?s sand was golden and warm, contrasted to the grey and cold sand of Farso.

    His mother told him long ago that the sands were a curse from Ard, the god of earth. Angry at his impatient brother, the god of the mountains, Jebal, he cursed the low lying lands to be filled perpetually with dust and to forever lack water, banishing his sister, Maa, the goddess of water, from the plains. Since the gods fought and divided themselves, the terrain of Farso was wildly dissimilar. The plains were cold, dusty and without much water. Nor did the plains hold anything interesting underground but fire deep down, hidden from even the great drills. But the plains were filled with light.

    The mountains, to many foreigner?s surprise, were warmer, filled with water and metal. Even with this warmth, the mountains were dark and forever in shadow. The few scientists that viewed Farso?s ecosystem and geogr
     
  5. SoA

    SoA Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2008
    Woh! First off, add me to your PM list. Second, please allow me to gush for a moment.

    I am always a fan of your style. You manage to work in descriptions in a very natural way that gives readers a vivid look into what's going on. So far all of your characters are fascinating and very believable. Not all of them are likable, but that's totally realistic. I am enjoying all of the different threads that will eventually weave together. I can see this isn't going to be a straight-forward story, and that in itself is exciting. You've taken the SW universe where it's pretty much all about action, adventure, and heroism, and started a very different story in it.

    Excellent work so far. I am totally looking forward to the next installment.

    Does this mean you've left behind "The Return of the True Sith"?
     
  6. LaForzaViva

    LaForzaViva Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 6, 2008
    SoA - Keep up that gushing and I'll be permanently red in the face! Thank you very much though, your praise does mean a lot to me.

    Yes, unfortunately I am leaving my previous story behind. I loaded it up recently and re-read it and discovered I just didn't write it the way I wanted. I left out a lot of key scenes that would have better established my characters. I still like the idea I had, but I got carried up in trying to create drama in the story where none was needed or where it did not fit. One day though, I think I will repackage the good parts, put in new materials, and finish the story, because I really did like some of the characters I made. One of the characters in this story is basically an updated version of one from that story, or at least I'm aiming for it that way.

    So perhaps I'll return to it, but I want to finish this one first. And judging by how slowly I'm going... that could be a while! I'm glad you enjoyed my previous work, but I hope to outdo myself in this one.

    The hardest part is writing the "bad guys" persay. I'm going to do my best to make morality a serious issue that is dealt with by everyone, because one thing I always found frustrating with real SW books and some fanfiction is the lack of actual motive behind the bad guys. I want people to understand they have them and those matter.

    Thanks for reading and gahhhh I can't wait for you to finish up yours! And hopefully start a new one...? Wishful thinking! You'll get PMs, I should have another chapter out in a day or two.
     
  7. SoA

    SoA Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2008
    Continuing this conversation in your thread... *caughs* We really aught to exchange IM names or something.

    As much as I'm sad to not see the end of that story, I see where you're coming from. I've abandoned old stories for reasons of style before, but I'm never quite ready to ditch them permanently. I always tell myself someday I'll go back to fix or rewrite them.

    I myself have a few smaller story projects in mind before I eventually attempt a rehashing of KOTOR II. I feel like I need to do something more original for a while, something more like what you're doing. ^_^

    One other comment I had was on your Jedi council. I see you gave Kavar a first name. I really like how you represented the masters and totally agree with Nomi as the grand master. She totally would have been there in the games had there not been that silly trademark issue on Sunrider. Though, I thought the council was usually 12 members? Did you decided to change that for a particular reason.
     
  8. LaForzaViva

    LaForzaViva Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 6, 2008
    SoA - Now that you're on the PM list I'll just also give you my IM there and we can discuss all these fun writers issues!

    As for the Jedi Council issue - I'll admit, I did leave people off or did not create the extra 5 or 6 Council members, yet at least. For now, I want people to find some comfortable people they have read about or seen before - Vash, Kavar (I like his new first name, that was an indulgence to give him and Visto, my pet Jedi, some 'history' together), Sunrider, Vandar, Grouchy McGroucherson - they're recognizable. First, the Jedi Council of this era is NOT preset with people (The Wookiepedia lists as many as could have been on it), and second, I am taking a few liberties with how young these Jedi are - keep in mind they're still "young" when the Exile encounters them. To throw them back nearly 20 years and expect them all to be there is preposterous, but I'm doing it. I will try to introduce one or two other important Jedi that may or may not be council members, but they will become important people in the story.

    And here we go, the beginning of two perspective chapters. This is so I get more out roughly every week - I did frontload and had the first two chapters completely done before I posted them. This pace should keep up until school starts and then I make no promises on timeliness of chapters, haha. Two characters are still "catching up" to the main storyline, this should continue for a few more chapters in their perspective until they are caught up.

    In addition, I will be taking some liberties with the mental side of the Force. I have not read a book where it is best described or what not, but I hope you can follow what I'll be doing with it with certain Force enabled characters.

    Chapter 3


    The desk was a dull, flat silver. Not the silver that reflected or shone under glaring lights, but a muted silver that said nothing beyond ?this is a desk? to anyone. There was nothing interesting about the desk. The only interest was that the desk was spotless on the top, no datapads or screens visible. No writing utensils or paper graced the desk either. It was a horribly dull desk, and yet Yveret Pax could not stop looking at it.

    ?Raise your eyes, Captain. Staring at that desk won?t do any good but give you a headache,? a sharp voice commanded. Yveret looked up, her gaze locking with the cool, light brown eyes glaring intently at her. Admiral of the Fleet Shalla Lorross sat in a plain silver chair, the only sign of comfort being the padding between human and metal. The admiral?s hair was pulled back, the light brown matching the color of her eyes. Small lines etched around her eyes and the corners of her mouth, making her appear older than she really was. She cut an impressive figure, still fit in her mid-40?s and sharp as a vibroblade, physically and mentally. Only three years earlier her predecessor had died on the clock, his heart stopping instantly, his head resting dead on this very desk. Yveret guessed it was the stress of the job. Running the entire Republic Navy wasn?t exactly the job for the weak or light-hearted.

    ?I don?t relish this meeting, Captain. From the first day you joined this academy, I pegged you as a future leader of men and women, the type of officer that would think nothing to charge into battle to save her troops. But good Force woman, I never expected you to charge into a political battle! What on Coruscant were you thinking?? she asked, leaning forward in her seat.

    Yveret stood at full attention in her standard uniform, a forest green officer?s uniform arrayed with her meager set of medals and campaign bars. Her boots nearly shone brighter than Tatooine?s suns; they had better since she spent two hours vigorously scrubbing and shining them, using the repetitive motions to cool her emotions after the message bearing news of this meeting arrived that morning. Even though she desperately wanted to sit to calm the buckling in her knees, she took the physical signs of anxiety and tried to convert them into some semblance of pride and courage.

    She failed in tha
     
  9. JediDingo

    JediDingo Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2005
    Well, I am all caught up now and my jaw is still on the floor. Please add me to the PM list. Your writing is so descriptive without it being shoved down one's throat. I envy your writing style very, very much. I feel like this is an actual Star Wars novel instead of a fanfic. You manage to bring into the Star Wars universe and show me the story you've created within it. I love all the different perspectives and characters in your story. I like that your Jedi also has a special talent within the Force. They are all very interesting and engaging. But I especially like Shad and Sebastian the most. Shad, well, because he's our guy - the everyman with a problem - the outcast or should I say Outsider? And then there is Sebastian - I already love to hate him. So Shad went to the mine after his father stabbed him, right? Was he living outside the mine or inside it? I got confused on that part - my fault not because of your writing. His story reminds me a lot of Darth Bane's - but hopefully he won't come out like he did! Keep it up and never stop! You have a big fan here!
     
  10. LaForzaViva

    LaForzaViva Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 6, 2008
    JediDingo - Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. I enjoy this story but it is nice to know that people do read and reply! I will add you to the PM list that is slowly approaching double digits!... aka 8 more people away :p

    I was trying out a technique one of my favorite authors, Naomi Novik does. I take the character in the present, and have him remember events that get us caught up back to the main storyline. So, sometime in the past his father attacked him, he ran away, was discovered by Rycen and taken in where he lived in a village outside the mine. Think West Virginia coal mining town like in "October Sky".

    I find it fun that you like Sebastian and Shad the most - this next chapter is definitely for you! More reasons to love/hate our favorite slimy and charming Coruscanti.

    Here we go!

    Chapter 4



    The two delivery men carried in an obscenely large frame through the entrance doors to his office. They turned it so the wrapped painting was parallel to the carpeted floor, managing to keep the frame from rubbing the ground while also not banging it against the door frame. The two men rested for a moment, wiping their faces, shiny with sweat, before heaving the painting up and settling it on the giant hook slammed in the wall only moments earlier. There were easier ways to hang such an object including making it digital, but Sebastian enjoyed the physicality of the object, its presence in the room. Building such a thing into the wall as though it was a viewscreen took away from its inherent beauty.

    He flicked his wrist casually and the men gently pulled the wrapping from the painting, revealing it under spotlights also recently installed. Sebastian had commissioned the great watercolor painter, Rouma, to paint him a scene from the Great Sith War. The Mon Calamari artist, renowned for using multiple techniques, was the most prized watercolorist of the day, mixing his own paints with the deepest blue water of his home planet. Sebastian sighed as he stood directly in front of it, letting the two men find their own way out with another motion of his wrist.

    The work of art was set up as a duel; a dichotomy between good and evil. Soft circles represented the jungle and grassy areas of Yavin 4?s jungle moon, resting in the foreground. Two figures, larger than life and painted with heavier colors, represented Exar Kun and Nomi Sunrider, the two most famous Jedi to appear in the annals of history. While Rouma took liberties with their posing and ignoring the fact they never fought saber to saber, he contrasted their dark forms with a background of blue sky watching protectively over a raging firestorm sweeping toward the foreground of the work. Various small blots in the blue sky depicted the dozens of orbiting ships, floating around the saber-wielding Jedi, red and green clashing as much as the fiery orange and mottled green clashed in the mid-ground.

    Appreciating the piece for a moment longer, Sebastian smiled and walked back to his desk, sitting down in his leather chair and glancing back up at the painting. Its huge presence on his west wall was definitely satisfactory, even with its huge price. Sebastian doubted anyone would find it ugly or unfit to hang in his well decorated office. Besides the Rouma watercolor, the eastern wall was filled with smaller paintings, collected from disparate parts of the Outer Rim, showing scenes as ordinary as farming to more complex scenes of obscurism, the most recent art trend. Sebastian wasn?t sure if he liked obscurisms obsession with dark and brooding colors, but the two obscurist pieces clashed well with their hanging mates.

    The southern wall was not much of a wall since it was one entirely huge window, stretching from the base of the floor to the top of the two-story ceiling. Sebastian programmed the window to keep the office lit between 40 and 60 percent of available light, only resorting to his antique light panels when night fell. The northern wall was partially broken by the double doors paneled with wood, but a handsome portrait of himse
     
  11. SoA

    SoA Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2008
    I'm behind. I just read chapter 3 last night, so here's my reactions to that. I'll take this one home with me to read soon. ^_^''

    I'm really growing to love Yveret. You've detailed her life and work beautifully. I hope she gets her rank back.

    Could this cortosis be coveted, perhaps, by Mandalorians? Or even Sith? Does Ardin know about this nice metal? I can start to see a reason for starting a war.

    EDIT:

    Well, now that I've read chapter 4 too, I'm enjoying this too. Here's betting that Ardin is that contact in the Republic. I'm really curious what this plan that they are so sure of to totally upset the planet.
     
  12. LaForzaViva

    LaForzaViva Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 6, 2008
    SoA - You mean you only started enjoying it at Chapter 4?! I kid, I kid. You've got some good instincts, I'll give you that much.

    So, I wrote the first part of Chapter 5 and then I started writing the second part... and it just took off. Get ready for some galactic sports! I think you'll like reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! I promise this isn't my normal pace - I just got a bit excited and my fingers and mind didn't stop.

    Chapter 5


    The ?pad blinked rapidly at Erisi, notifying her of an incoming message. Depressing the answer button, the text flashed up:

    Ms. Altathir, you were hired to write news columns and to report on galactic politics, not to write opinion pieces. Please, stick to writing what your contract details. Should you prove adequate as a reporter, there are opportunities for advancement toward the editorial boards here at HoloNet News. Thank you. Please contact me for details of your latest assignment when you receive this message.

    She closed the message. What was she thinking? Of course her piece would be rejected. She was 22 years old, fresh out of university and without any editorial experience. Being editor-in-chief of the Coruscanti Bugle was not the same as writing editorials for the largest news corporation in the galaxy. Her anger at Sebastian and his stupid games led her to write that, she said unconvincingly to herself.

    Calling up the message system, she tapped back a reply and put the ?pad aside. It was nearing night on her side of Coruscant, the glimmer of the orange sun disappearing behind the too-tall-to-be-possible buildings that Coruscant piled higher and higher on levels below that continually disappeared with each passing day. Sometimes, when an ordinance was passed or a virus spread in an area, the entire section of the ecumenopolis would be razed as far down as possible, and building would recommence. These sweeps were notorious for massacring untold numbers of poor humans, but mostly killed the aliens that were forced, by status and sheer racism, to stay below the top levels.

    Her datapad blinked again and she picked it up, opening the message. A handsome face appeared and began talking.

    ?Erisi! It?s Axin. I hope you haven?t forgot about our plans to see the sphereball final tonight? I?ll be there to pick you up in twenty minutes! Be ready and make sure you look stunning ? I want Sebastian to get that jealous look again!?

    Erisi made a face and put the ?pad back down. She had forgotten about the sphereball final. While Axin was a buffoon and made stupid comments, she felt a grin spread over her face as she recalled the Sebastian?s widening eyes the other night. Sure, his date was beautiful, but she knew he wasn?t over her. Even with that pleasant memory fading, she realized how poorly the end of the previous date had ended and wasn?t looking forward to a sporting event spent with a bastard, an angry woman, and a drunk Republic officer.

    Rifling through her substantial closet, she pulled out a few outfits until settling on one dress, made in the Drall style with a high collar and abstract blocks of different shades of colors. If she remembered right, and a quick search confirmed it, the Coruscant Crusaders wore black, white, and red. The dress was mostly black with a few panels were a deep red as well, matching the cross-cutting texture of the nearby black panels. Finishing the ensemble off with a clutch and a set of black heels, the bottoms colored bright red, she sat down and waited, flicking with half-hearted attention through the day?s news.

    An article on HNN?s competitor, HNC, HoloNews Corporation, caught her eye. It was a puff piece, written by one of the elder reporters still hanging on to his job. He?d even been a guest professor one day, she realized. The piece was filled with plenty of anonymous sources and officials speaking on the condition on anonymity, passing on ?news? about the scheming related to the declaration of war. Someone, probably a lowly aide in the Chancellor?s office, was spouting pure gossip about which senators
     
  13. JediDingo

    JediDingo Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2005
    = ) Thanks! I loved every word of these two new chapters. I have a feeling Shad is hiding something from Mek though. And thank you so much for the mention and Aaryn showing up! I love how awkward he seems growing into himself really haha. Great job!
     
  14. LaForzaViva

    LaForzaViva Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 6, 2008
    JediDingo - Thanks! Shad's still growing into himself - as I hope to show in this longer perspective chapter. And if you don't mind, Aaryn will most likely show up sometime again, especially after the mention Visto got in your story this past time ;)

    Here we go! One perspective this time, but it's as long as two so, deal with it. And we're officially at 100 pages! 1.5 spaced too :p

    Chapter 6


    One year before?

    The blaster was well-worn with scratches lining its gunmetal exterior. For the most part, it looked like someone dropped the blaster down the side of a mountain. The power pack that provided the weapon with its rounds was tied into place with woolen cords and the small scope on top of the rifle, behind the barrel, was held down by mismatched screws. The trigger, as Shad discovered while training with it, sometimes did not want to un-stick and would keep firing past one?s wishes.

    And that made it one of the best weapons the resistance fighters carried. All the men Shad had worked with so far were good, hardy men. The weak and the cowardly tended to die or run off, and those that survived their first actions became hard men, much like those Shad knew from the mines. But being a strong and sane man did not mean the difference between life and death. Life and death was often determined by the weapon, and that meant the resistance struggled against the monarchists? forces.

    Ragged clothing that barely covered the body was the general attire around the camps; stealing villagers and miners clothing was one of the most useful items a man could get his hands on. Staying warm was vital in the cold temperatures on Farso; the weather could determine life and death too. The monarchists, as the resistance fighters called the government troops, were well-fed, well-armed, and well-clothed. The past seven fights between troops and fighters left most of the resistance men dead or fleeing.

    Shad hoped to change that and finally raise the morale around the camps. He was put in charge of fifteen men, the weakest, the poorest shots, and generally the most rowdy too. And they were heavy drinkers, when the opportunity for alcohol provided itself. Mek took a group of thirty with him and Reze had his own set of loyal followers. They left him with a difficult group for his first attempt at leading. While Mek and Reze were attacking the more armed areas, a monetary convoy and a cortosis distribution center, Shad would be taking his group to attack a supply convoy.

    From what he remembered at the mines, the supplies were usually food, water, clothing, equipment, and sometimes more specialized items, like weapons or power tools for the miners. Shad had seen it lightly guarded every time, but he had been away for a year and perhaps things had changed. Mek?s frequent attacks over the past year had led to increased security outside of Fars City and the other larger towns, but so far no large battles had occurred. And even if they did, Shad doubted whether the resistance would stay till the end.

    Carefully hooking the blaster onto the harness strapped across his back, Shad pulled his coat tighter and stepped from his tent. He and his fifteen were on the move from the main cavern complex toward the point where they would intercept the supply caravan. Compared to the other groups, his men were even less clothed, fed, and armed. Five of the men carried little more than sharpened sticks or rusted hand knives. Shad, his number two Jon, and three others carried a semblance of a blaster, and the other five that were better armed had projectile rifles. Shad had not realized that bullet firing weapons even existed, but they were easier to manage than blasters, and hence more often used.

    It was early morning and the sun was beginning to rise over the horizon. The flat expanse of land as far as Shad could see was slowly lighting up as the sun stretched its light over the land. If only it would provide more than false warmth, Shad thought. They were all cold, even he, still using his miner?s coat that was beginnin
     
  15. SoA

    SoA Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2008

    Haha! Thanks for the nod there. So Gad Rinnh likes Sphere Ball? I'll have to work that in somewhere. I do like to sneak references to the Rinnhs in everywhere.

    You are also really making me want to imagine/write about Jolee's early days in the order. I do love that crazy old man. You really are doing a great job writing all of these Jedi in their sort of every-day interactions. I didn't realize that Visto was quite so crazy until this chapter.

    Yvret's intuition stinks of Force Sensativity to me. This will be very interesting. Plus, putting a crazy Jedi master with an up-tight young soldier who just got demoted is going to lead to some fun banter. Maybe he'll be able to chill her out a bit.

    Good to see Revan and Malak pass through too.

    I'm really glad to see that Ryce is back in the story too. I liked him a lot.

    I think what makes your story most compelling is that it just feels like pieces of life. There are these little details and even bits of scenes that don't seem necessarily needed for the plot, but they build up the world, the characters, and their relationships. Most excellent!

    You really aught to come over and join us in the OC thread in the Fanfiction Resource. It's a party, I promise. ^_^
     
  16. LaForzaViva

    LaForzaViva Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 6, 2008
    SoA - Everyone loves sphereball! It's futbol to Europeans, baseball to Americans, and lacrosse to Native Americans. Of course Gad Rinnh loves sphereball ;)

    I think no one could do a perfect representation of Jolee, because he is so utterly unknowable. But I would dearly enjoy you giving it a shot, because I'd bet you'd get the closest to finding his true center. He's a character I wish the game explored more, and I've considered writing about his smuggling days. And I promise Visto isn't THAT crazy, I just got on a roll with his banter and couldn't stop myself. He's a jokester, like Jolee, but not downright kookoo. But he will act that way sometimes!

    Thank you for the compliment - I do like it when stories focus on plot points more than exposition of the trees (coughcough Tolkein), but there are times when exploring a random moment or scene gives the character more breadth. I will say that every scene I've written so far is meant to further the 'story', not necessarily a character's growth or a plot's development, but to give the reader more sense of place and time and feel, not just 'X happens, then Y happens, then Z happens yay the Jedi win' type of story. I'm glad I'm suceeding in that endeavor, and do let me know if you think a character needs more work - I already know that one is struggling even in my head, and I'm going to have to work more with that one in the future. And I'll try to stop by the thread!

    On with the story! Another one perspective chapter, this can be a bit dry, but it all matters, I swear.

    Chapter 7

    Veshkai pulled the speeder into one of the ?Visitor? spaces in the massive parking structure by the Army headquarters. He pulled the door open and Sebastian stepped out, pulling out a small briefcase with him. The leather was a triple-treated nerf hide, dyed black and polished to a high shine. Aside from the datapads stacked inside, it was mostly for show. Once a first impression was made, it was damn difficult to walk it back. Today was, like many days recently, another time for first impressions.

    The first session for the planning of combat operations against Farso was being held in one of the larger conference rooms near the generals? offices. Dozens of aides and advisors were standing around, chatting quietly or hustling around with ?pads, waiting for the session to begin. Sebastian recognized a number of the scholars brought in to participate. All in all, it was a very diverse group.

    Wilrek Organa, a military historian and scholar, stood apart from the rest, his black hair specked with white. His mustache was fully black, and though he did not show his age in his hair, he stood stiffly, shifting from foot to foot every few minutes. Sebastian took a class with him as lecturer, but the class was so large that few got to know the man. Thankfully, he had managed to get into a second class of only fifteen people with Professor Organa and got to know him better there. Even with that, he doubted the old man would recognize or remember him. Professors had a way of moving on very quickly. The man?s gaze darted around the room, pausing every few seconds on someone he recognized, or perhaps didn?t.

    Molif Sarilles, another important military scholar, stood with a small group of officers, chatting animatedly and gesticulating every few seconds about something. He was a bit younger than Wilrek, but not by much, and while his body was still mostly fit and strong looking, his hair was perfectly white and trailed down to his shoulders. He was one of the more prestigious professors at the slightly lesser University of Coruscant. Not a school that Sebastian even bothered to apply to.

    ?Everyone who is here for the conference, please step inside the conference room,? a bland secretary announced, her sergeant?s symbols blinking in the light. The conversations died to a hum and the gathered men and women stepped into the large conference room. The table sat thirty and small placards were placed in front of the seats. Sebastian was not pleased to find his name was not printed on one o
     
  17. LaForzaViva

    LaForzaViva Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 6, 2008
    Just so this whole story isn't people talking, there is action! I warn you though, fighting and war are not like in the movies, and when I present violence, it will not be stylized and it will be graphic and gruesome. There's a larger concept behind my reasons for doing that.



    Chapter 8

    About one year before?

    Mek and his men walked wearily back into the main camp, a few dropping their packs and falling down, asleep before their heads hit the ground. Mek shrugged his pack off and nodded gratefully as someone took it from him and began gathering other men to help. It was near to night and the bit of light in the distance began to dip below the horizon, far away on the plains. A light snow swirled around as ghostly figures stepped from caves and tents to pull men inside or to take their equipment from them.

    One man, broad-shouldered and tall, with short brown hair came out and grasped Mek?s hand. He blinked away the fatigue, trying to concentrate as the man spoke to him. He shook his head, not understanding words. The man stopped and nodded, taking him by the forearm and pulling him inside a cave. He gently helped him down to the bedroll on the floor, covered him with a blanket, and stepped away as Mek?s eyes closed.



    The snows had moved from the furthest reaches of the mountain ranges down closer to the plain. The previous two nights passed with heavy bouts of snow, and when Mek woke, his tent was halfway covered in the white, fluffly mass spreading over the land. The sun rose each day, but the snow did not melt, and soon Mek felt as though he was walking on the clouds, his feet never touching sold ground, only ice under the snow.

    There were many kinds of snow, he was discovering. The light, fluffy type that was hard to walk through but much more fun to throw and dive into. The wet, huge flakes that turned the snow-scape into more of a moistened walk, filtering the cold through his boots, which he previously thought were rather weatherproof. He wondered how the less covered men were doing on their missions with Reze and Shad. He only took the best with him.

    Then the snow, of any variety, could fall in dozens of ways in seemingly every direction. The nicest was when a light wind rose up, flinging small bits of snow around as though in a dream. The worst was the one endured the last two nights; it was a violent storm, as though the gods themselves were screaming in rage. The pagans on the planet swore that three of the gods were conspiring; Maa, Suhaba, Jebal creating the terrifying combination of water, wind, and the mountains to terrorize his men.

    Thankfully, the awful, cold, wet snow slowed the convoy they were tracking. After about five days, a small fire was seen at the edge of the horizon, and by the second day in sight of it, they had nearly caught up with the convoy. It was heavily guarded, with at least twenty men guarding it, fully armed and even a few wore armor. That gave them the upper hand, but Mek had surprise on his side.

    They crouched for the next day, closing in on their prey. The guards had to help out the men carrying the large cases of money, rotating every hour. It seemed random at best, there was no moment when more than five guards were occupied with chests. More would have been better, but even five men missing at an initial attack would even their chances.

    Shad interrupted him at one point, asking him what to do, and Mek told him to stick to the plan. He heard nothing back for a few moments and assumed the boy was doing his job. Still unconfident, he had required Mek?s opinion on something Mek couldn?t know, even with his special power. He could sense what Shad did, but could not see, and thus could only guess at options. One day he might make a leader, but a leader did not ask questions before doing his duty. He simply did it and explained why after.

    He dispatched his thirty men to begin spreading out as the night began to fall and the snow kicked up. As the darkness grew deeper, the plan was for the men to surround the camp from all sides and rush in on the attack. His
     
  18. JediDingo

    JediDingo Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2005
    I have been a bad reader. School started up for me last week and I am already working on papers. Eikes. But I plan on trying to catch up today!
     
  19. LaForzaViva

    LaForzaViva Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 6, 2008
    JediDingo - it's okay, next Tuesday I'll be starting school again (yay 2 more years?) so my writing pace will slacken a lot. I'll probably get through Chapter 11 by Tuesday though - I have 9 and most of 10 done. But after that the pace will be much slower depending on how much work I have, and how much Arabic I need to study to get back into shape.

    But here we go, the ninth chapter! JediDingo, you'll like this one.

    Chapter 9


    HoloNet News has learned that the initial military plans for the use of force against Farso VI have passed preliminary stages. A spokesperson for the Ministry of Defense acknowledged that meetings did occur and that plans were presented. ?A series of scholars, analysts, and military officers gathered and presented differing options to a panel of senior members of the Republic. The Ministry is pleased with the outcomes,? the spokesperson told assembled media members.

    Among the planners, HNN has learned, were distinguished and often clashing scholars Molif Sarilles and Wilrek Organa. Mr. Sarilles, a professor of history at the University of Coruscant, has frequently clashed with his peer, Mr. Organa, a professor of galactic and military affairs at the University of Alderaan ? Coruscant Pod. While Mr. Organa has advocated for the use of overwhelming force in numerous articles and books, Mr. Sarilles often has disagreed. Sources confirm that during the planning stages before the presentation and synthesis of various plans, this tension between the use of overwhelming force or not focused as a central debate between the assembled analysts.

    Critics of the potential war against Farso VI were quick to speak out. ?The Senate and Ministry of Galactic Affairs are currently working on resolving the dispute diplomatically while the military is busy planning how best to invade a defenseless planet. The mixed signals sent by such a move are counterproductive. Planning for an invasion should only begin after all diplomatic and economic options have been exhausted,? a spokesperson for the Council on Galactic Affairs said by conference call this evening.

    Meanwhile, advocates for the use of force reacted to the news positively. ?While the politicians bicker, the men of action get busy planning and preparing. Without a good plan in hand, any war would be disastrous, should war become necessary,? spokesperson for the Galactic Enterprise Institute said this evening. When asked about the seeming duality of planning while negotiating, he replied: ?It doesn?t matter if one hand of the Republic does one thing with the other does something else as long as the results are achieved.?

    Galactic opinion is decidedly mixed on the possibility of war with Farso VI. In a random mobilepad survey of 20 billion residents across the Core Worlds, only 45% approved the use of military action. 40% disapproved the use and 15% were unsure. The opinion of the galactic body politic is heavily uninformed about Farso VI, with only 1% of respondents able to locate the planet?s general area when presented with four options. Opinions of the Farsian people are mixed: 10% have favorable opinions, 8% have unfavorable opinions of them, and 82% do not have an opinion.

    A spokesperson for the Chancellor told HNN late last night that ?the Chancellor was keeping all options on the table for resolution of the situation regarding Farso VI.?

    By: Erisi Altathir




    Yveret dropped the ?pad on the desk. A few other articles had popped up, but the author of this one was an unknown, and thus more trustworthy than some of the other ?reporters? Yveret had read before. Reporting was giving the facts, not giving the facts disguised and dressed up in ideology like too many reporters at HNN did.

    But where to begin on this war business? Things felt like they were getting out of control and there was no momentum to keep things in perspective. Sighing, she stood and dressed in a standard uniform, her hand briefly passing over where her captain?s bars used to be on her collar. Wrinkling her forehead in distaste, she headed to the sp
     
  20. SoA

    SoA Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2008
    Man, I'm having a hard time keeping up with you. I will be both relieved and sad to see your pace slacken. I really love Yveret and Visto. They had some great banter there. I think Yveret has a lot to learn from him, as much as she might not like it.

    I'm also a fan of your nice canon cameos. Hoorah for Carth and Kavar! I like the idea of him with a ton of curly hair.

    I'm starting to wonder if Shad is going to accidentally usurp Mek in all of this.
     
  21. JediDingo

    JediDingo Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2005
    Okay, so I still haven't caught up. I know, I know. But of course I'm loving what I have read so far. And I cheated just a bit and read the part with awkward Aaryn = 0 hehe. I feel like he is apart of the Star Wars universe so having you write him doesn't bother me at all, because he is just as much your character as he is mine. Oh writing is fun. Having just finished I, Jedi for the first time I like your mention of the Corellian Jedi. Very interesting story possibilities that we should talk about some time.
     
  22. LaForzaViva

    LaForzaViva Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 6, 2008
    SoA - You'll be able to keep up fine, I promise! But Darth Real Life has intervened and I got a bit behind. I'm glad you're enjoying the banter, I'm hoping it feels realistic and adds to the characters and their relationship. Keep looking for those cameos, I like to throw them in as often as possible! And I always thought Kavar should have curly hair. Like a Greek athlete, is what he always reminded me of.

    JediDingo - I, Jedi is a fantastic book, isn't it? I don't like first-person, but it was well-done. And I do enjoy the history of the Corellian Jedi and I like to reference it a lot, in addition to the general "recklessness" of the Corellian's that Stackpole (did I get that right?) mentions multiple times. I'm sure I'll work in a "don't tell a Corellian the odds!" joke at some point. I think a story that discusses the beginnings of the Corellian Jedi Order, or how they split from the regular Jedi, would certainly be interesting. There's a lot of Republic/Diktat tension, but I only know what I know from I, Jedi, and the X-Wing series of books. If you've ever got an idea, feel free to discuss it with me - you can find my AIM s/n in my profile and I'd be glad to chat.

    Anyway, a long chapter! Hooray, more for you guys to read! The next two should be all on Farso and I hope will get Shad and Mek caught up to the current timeline so I don't have to keep putting "One year before..." and stuff. Enjoy!



    Chapter 10



    ?I?m sorry, the admiral is unavailable to see you today,? the secretary said politely, but firmly.

    ?Fantastic,? Yveret replied and stalked away. Visto stood at the entrance to the office, waiting for her. When she rounded the corner with that constant scowl, he knew it didn?t go well.

    ?So, now that we have an hour of free time, how about dinner?? he said with a smile. She shrugged but remained silent, brooding. He really didn?t like how she dwelt on failure like that. ?You know, there?s an old legend that says if you keep one expression on your face, it?ll stay like that forever.?

    ?Hah, my mom told me that one before,? she answered.

    ?Maybe you should reconsider the truth of it ? if you were frowning back then and you still are, maybe it?s just starting to freeze on your face.? She shot him an amused glare and he laughed, clapping her on the back.

    ?I know a good place down a few blocks, and maybe down a few hundred stairs. Come on,? he said, leading her out into the streets. Night was beginning to fall and the brilliant lights of the Palace District slowly began to snap on. Although the sun set on half of Coruscant at a time, there always would be someone working at night. Especially when the planet, for better or worse, ran the galaxy.

    At first, the lack of face time with the top of the military brass began to frustrate Yveret and Visto. Their efforts with leading anti-war scholars and organizations was promising, but those people and groups had hardly any resources compared to the huge amounts the pro-war factions had. Considering most of the military, politicians, media, and military-industrial companies like Czerka were for the war, it was hard to beat back against the propaganda. Their public relations campaigns were in full swing and not a day passed without another article or interview or talk show with a pro-war advocate looking first class and talking smoothly over any potential difficulties with war.

    War wasn?t that simple.

    ?They?re just going ahead with this without thinking! There was hardly any debate inside the normal arenas for it!? Yveret complained after sitting down and ordering tea, red and purples swirling as she spoke. It had been a few weeks since they began trying to push back against the run up to the invasion, but little had happened. Even Yveret?s commanding officer, Admiral of the Fleet Lorross, had refused to see her or reply back to a number of queries.

    ?Sometimes when people get ideas they can?t let go of, they become blinded,? Visto answered, stirring the spoon inside his cup of tea. Most of the conversation flowing around the tables in the
     
  23. SoA

    SoA Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2008
    My favorite characters all in one room together. Excellent! Yveret really is going to lose her job, isn't she? Visto might get himself in trouble to, though I bet Nomi will back him up.

    I'm wondering who sent this man in black? Scary.

     
  24. JediDingo

    JediDingo Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2005
    Finally I am caught up! From chapter six to this last chapter, and my mind is now mush before I go in to work. You are truly a great writer sir. Really good stuff. The violence actually made my stomach churn just a bit haha. I loved Visto's backstory and would love to actually see it one day perhaps? Hmm lol. And again thanks for all the Aaryn love here! Great work. Cant wait for the next one.
     
  25. LaForzaViva

    LaForzaViva Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 6, 2008
    SoA - There's always some man in black in every story... but yes, who is it?

    JediDingo - Glad you got caught up! Visto's backstory is a good idea... though I do absolutely despise the amount of twists and turns in the comic books that deal with Nomi Sunrider and Exar Kun and Qel-Droma and all of them. I don't like the idea of fitting in to that universe with so much research necessary to write it, but I may do a Visto post-Sith War, pre-this story type deal. Or do his Padawan days as vignettes and Exar's growing drop into the dark side.

    Anyway to my only two readers I apologize for the delay! Grad school started, I'm ALREADY kind of behind in reading (heh) and thus I'm going very, very slowly. Today was the first chance I got to write some, so a two-perspective chapter on Farso should be out hopefully Sunday or Monday by the latest. Thanks for reading and I hope all is well with everyone!