main
side
curve
  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Saga Revenge of the Sith Humorous Version-SPOILERS!!!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by study888, May 29, 2005.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. study888

    study888 Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 16, 1999
    WARNING: SW SAGA AND POSSIBLE ST SPOILERS!


    Title: Revenge of The Sith Humorous Version


    Author: The Jedi Council. First Author: study3600

    Rating: PG-16 for language, some drug references and some sexual humor

    Characters: Manakin Streetwalker/Darth Vacuous, Cameo/Umporer Palpitatine, Count Doodu, General Greedy, Patme Ahmidalalala, Ob-Ewan McNobi, Yoga, Mace Windy, Bailey Smits, Marcus Streetwalker and Lee Smits, twins.



    Genre:Fantasy/Humor

    Length: An entire Star Wars Shooting Scripts' worth of material.

    Timeline:20 Y BBY About


    Summary: After the Battle of Coruscampi, Makakin is conflicted. Do his loyalties lie with his friend Ob-Ewan and the Jedi or with the Cameo and the Republic? And is he the father of Patme's child?


    Notes: Here we go with another one.

    Basically, the rules are, anyone can play, be consistant with names, names of places, etc., and have fun! :)

    Also, and this is important, let's try to cooperate. If that means constructive criticism, than be fair.

    Be sure to read at least one of the other Prequel Era Humorous Versions before you try your hand at this one. I'll post links to them soon.
    But first, here is the ROTS script:

    http://www.imsdb.com/scripts/Star-Wars-Revenge-of-the-Sith.html]ROTS[/URL] Script


    A SPEAKPURPANDVAC UNLMTD PRODUCTION

    A long time ago in the future....

    SC 01 EXT.SPACE


    A vast sea of stars serves as the backdrop for the Main Title, followed by a rollup, which crawls into infinity....boy that was the LAST time I'll EVER have to write that sentence! YIPPEE!

    Oh no, my I.Q. just dropped a few points and I can't form complete sentences!


    War! The Republic! It's crumbling! Under attacks! By the ruthless Sith Lord! Named COUNT DOODU! There are heroes! On both sides! Evil! It's everywhere!

    Oh, my brain hurts.

    In a stunning move, the fiendish Clone Wars villain GENERAL GRIEVOUSLY has swept into the Republic capital with a broom and kidnapped Cameo Palpitatine, leader of the Galactic Em- er, Republic. Why he is doing this when the entire audience knows Palpitatine is the bad guy no one can figure.

    As the Separatist Tinker Drone Army attempts to flee the beswept capital with their obviously evil hostage, two Jedi Knights lead a desperate mission to rescue the captive Cameo....

    Mav edit: Locked for rules violation
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 25, 2021
  2. VadersMistress

    VadersMistress Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 7, 2004
  3. MasterSareBabe

    MasterSareBabe Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 11, 2004
  4. study888

    study888 Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 16, 1999
    PAN DOWN to reveal a REPUBLIC ATTACK CRUISER. Continue to PAN if you can can with the Cruiser, as TWO JEDI STARFIGHTERS enter and head towards an enemy Battle Cruiser. TRUCK with the Jedi Fighters (I didn't know trucks could fly in space!) as they maneuver in unison, dodging flack and enemy laser fire. R2-Detour is on Manakin's ship. R4-PP7 is on Ob-Ewan's ship. The truck that was with the Jedi is gone. A giant, (and quite frankly the best one I've ever seen!) space battle is revealed as the tiny Jedi ships continue their assault in a synchronious waltz.


    INT. OB-EWAN McNOBI'S STARFIGHTER COCKPIT-SPACE

    OB-EWAN bounces through the flack with a frown. Very descriptive. His ship rocks violenly.

    INT. MANAKIN STREETWALKER'S STARFIGHTER COCKPIT-SPACE



    -----
    Wow, a Star Wars movie that opens with a space battle. I'm no good at space battles. I only did part of two, in AOTC HV and TPM HV. I'm just getting no inspiration. I'm glad at least two people laughed so far. :)

    Anyway, I started this one, can anyone pick up?


    I'll post links to the other HVs soon.
     
  5. study888

    study888 Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 16, 1999
    There are now links to every Humorous Version in the first post.

    -study
     
  6. Dally

    Dally Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2001
    Sorry, I can't write, but I will enjoy reading this one. Loved the opening crawl.
     
  7. agentj

    agentj Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Dec 3, 2004
    I'll give it a hand.

    3 INT. MANAKIN STREETWALKER'S STARFIGHTER COCKPIT-SPACE

    MANAKIN smiles as he blasts a TRADER CONVENTION'S TINKER DROPPER FIGHTER. He's smiling because lots and lots of pyrotechnists died to bring you that effect.

    MANAKIN: There isn't a droid made that can out-fly you, Master, probably because--other than myself--you are the hero of this epic. ...And since Mr. Lucas scripted it this way, there is no other way to get to the Chancellor....

    OB-EWAN: Look out! More incredibly detailed CGI effects coming this way...!

    4 EXT. CORUSCANT-SPACE BATTLE

    The TWO JEDI FIGHTERS swerve in unison as FOUR TRADER CONVENTION'S TINKER DROPPER FIGHTERS attack. After several clever moves by the Jedi (which should include a MOONWALK, the BUMP and that POINTED FINGER POSE that was popular in the disco days), two of the CONVENTION'S TINKER DROPPER FIGHTERS collide with each other in a ball of flame. Many OOOS and AAAAHS are heard from an unseen audience.
     
  8. Salmeera

    Salmeera Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 29, 2005
    :D Nice Work
     
  9. study888

    study888 Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 16, 1999
    agentj-

    :D Great! Welcome to the team!
     
  10. study888

    study888 Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 16, 1999
    Boy this space battle is complicated...

    -----------------------------

    INT. OB-EWAN'S STARFIGHTER COCKPIT-SPACE

    OB-EWAN struggles to maintain control of his ship.

    OB-EWAN: We've got to split up. And see if you can get a few of those Tinker dropper fighters to follow you.

    MANAKIN: Break left, fly through the guns on that tower.

    OB-EWAN: You worry about those fighters. I'll worry about the tower!

    OB-EWAN flies to the left of a huge tower on a REPUBLIC CRUISER. The two TINKER DROPPER FIGHTERS follow.

    OB-EWAN: Why am I always the bait?

    Whack

    OB-EWAN: Ow! I How do you do that over the Comm link?

    MANAKIN: Li-Gon's ghost taught me-and he told me to remind you-

    OB-EWAN:-There's always a bigger fish, yes, I know.

    MANAKIN: No. That you're a much wiser man than him, and that he forsees you'll become a great Jedi Knight.

    OB-EWAN: I am a great Jedi Knight! Manakin, to your left!

    MANAKIN: I see 'em. Watch that crossfire boys!

    CLONE PILOT: Copy, Gold Leader.

    MANAKIN: Ob-Ewan, you got two on your right. Watch it!

    MANAKIN BLASTS away at a TINKER DROPPER FIGHTER as ARTOO BEEPS an angry warning.

    CLONE PILOT #1: All wings report in.

    CLONE PILOT#2: Red 6 standing by......

    RICK OILY: Fighters, straight ahead.

    Whack

    OB-EWAN: I'm going down on the deck.
     
  11. Dally

    Dally Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2001
    It's probably hard to make a humorous version of the space battle but you guys are doing a good job.
     
  12. agentj

    agentj Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Dec 3, 2004
    Thanks, Dally. Let's see if I can do something to this scene:

    MANAKIN: Good idea.... I need some room to show of my great piloting skills.

    OB-EWAN, in an effort to get out of the way of MANAKIN'S large ego, dives toward the surface of one of the larger TINKER CONVENTION BATTLESHIPS and is forced to fly through a very complicated CGI rendering that leaves everyone speechless. Suddenly he dons his retro-looking reader glasses while he skims the surface for his next lines. Outside in the space battle, he is followed by the TINKER DROPPER FIGHTER, which is followed by MANAKIN.

    MANAKIN: Cut right. Do you hear me?! Cut right. Don't let him get a handle on you. Come on, Artoo! Lock on! Lock on!

    ARTOO BEEPS. The censors are ellated that the translation which appears on MANAKIN'S screen is, in fact, a made-up language so that the audience doesn't catch on to what ARTOO just said about MANAKIN'S dubious heritage.

    OB-EWAN: (ripping the glasses from his face in disgust as he finishes reading the script and realises that he will have to spend a great deal of future scenes completely unconscious strapped to MANAKIN'S backside) Hurry up! I don't like this!

    OB-EWAN flies through a narrow gap between two towers on a BATTLESHIP. The TINKER DROPPER FIGHTER hits one of OB-EWAN's wings with a laser blast, and parts of the ship go flying around OB-EWAN's Astro Droid, AM-NOT.

    OB-EWAN: Ouch!

    AM-NOT BEEPS a blue streak. The censors open up their laptop computers in attempt to connect to the CGI computers and doctor the lines of the script. OB-EWAN sees this and releases his virus hacking program POINT-OF-VIEW into their email, which disables all their attempts into the system.

    OB-EWAN: Don't even try to fix it, Am-Not. I've shut it down.

    MANAKIN: We're locked on.... We've got him....

    MANAKIN drops in behind the TINKER DROPPER FIGHTER and blows him apart. ARTOO SQUEALS with delight. Like MANAKIN, ARTOO likes the idea of pyrotechnists dying to create their special effects.

    MANAKIN: Yeah! We got him.... Good going, Artoo.

    OB-EWAN: Next time, you're the bait.... (sighing as he realises he'll be considered the bad guy at the end of the movie when he has to walk away from a crispy fried MANAKIN) Now, let's find the Command Ship and get on with it....

    AM-NOT BEEPS yet another blue streak. Before OB-EWAN can remind him that the MPAA will only allow one or two bad words in a PG-13 movie, MANAKIN'S voice interrupts him--

    MANAKIN: Lock onto them, Artoo. Master, General Grievously's ship is directly ahead.
     
  13. study888

    study888 Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 16, 1999
    ROTFLOL!
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]
     
  14. Dally

    Dally Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2001
    Haha! That was good. Love Am-Not's name.
     
  15. agentj

    agentj Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Dec 3, 2004
    Well, you've got ARTOO (are too!) so I thought AM-NOT would be a good come-back for that.... ;)
     
  16. study888

    study888 Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 16, 1999
    Up, up, up! This is destined for greatness! :D
     
  17. Darth_Revvin

    Darth_Revvin Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Jun 5, 2005
    So...Study. We meet again. For the first time, probably not the last time.
    I ... am your cousin's uncle's best friend's niece's college roommate. What does that make us? Well...co-writers, hopefully.
    I've been following you guys on the HV stories, well, pretty much since the beginning. Drifted in and out, always enjoyed, never registered or contributed...just sat quietly in the shadows.
    Watching.
    Waiting.
    Biding...my nails.

    What, did you think I was going to say time or somethin? Anyways...my contribution to your endeavor:

    INT OB-EWAN'S FIGHTER COCKPIT--where else but SPACE

    OB-EWAN: Oh, I see it. Wow, this's gonna be easy...just like nailing womp rats on Patootie.

    WHACK

    GL: What'd I tell you about excessive foreshadowing?

    OB-EWAN: Yes, master...

    AHEAD is a TINKER CONVENTION CRUUUZER with PNEUMATIC SUSPENSION, SPINNER HUBCAPS, a multi-million Watt BOSE BLASTER 9000 sound system, and lots of TINKER MULCHING DROIDS...the droids assume wood-chipper configuration and begin swarming towards the JEDI STARFIGHTERS

    MANAKIN: Come on, Master. If you were going any slower, you'd be backing up!

    OB-EWAN: Not this time. There's not enough wood stakes. We need help. Cue Ball, do you copy?

    CUE BALL: Only from the smart kids, Red Leader.

    OB-EWAN: Mark my position and form your squad up behind me.

    INT CUE BALL's COCKPIT

    CUE BALL: We're right behind you, General McNobi. Set Aluminum Foils in oven and heat to 325...

    The PROTECTIVE RAY SHIELD on the main hangar of the TINKER CONVENTION CRUUUUZER lowers, and six new DROID TRICYCLE FIGHTERS emerge and join the MULCHER FIGHTERS heading for the STRIKE FORCE. The JEDI STARFIGHTERS extend Aluminum Foils from the tips of their wings, like CONFETTI STREAMERS

    ----------

    Wow, the next scene's a doozy...gonna have to write that one in Word and paste it here...be back in a few days! :D j/k (edited for good idea by AgentJ)
     
  18. agentj

    agentj Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Dec 3, 2004
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Mmm. New blood.

    Oh, the "Do you copy?" could be responded with "With a Xerox, Red Leader!"
     
  19. Darth_Revvin

    Darth_Revvin Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Jun 5, 2005
    OK...well, I took your idea, AgentJ...modified it a bit (my line comes off as kinda insulting to OB-EWAN :D )...

    A little more from the SPACE BATTLE:

    INT MANAKIN'S FIGHTER COCKPIT?SPACE

    MANAKIN: This is where the fun begins. Ten Mulcher Droids, straight ahead, coming down the left side...

    ARTOO beeps a worried message

    OB-EWAN: Add five Tricycle Fighters on the right.

    MANAKIN: I'm going head to head. See ya, sucker.

    MANAKIN'S FIGHTER leaps ahead

    OB-EWAN: (singing along with Eagles music blasting from cockpit speakers) Take it eeeeeeaaaasy, take it eeeeaaaaassssy/don't let the sound of your own wheels/drive you craaaaazy.

    MANAKIN makes a face as the music and OB-EWAN's horrible singing blast through his headset.

    Four CLONE FIGHTERS move into formation behind the Jedi

    CUE BALL: I'm on your right, Red Leader.

    MANAKIN: INCOMING!!!!

    EIGHT BALL: HIT THE DECK!!!! *looking around* Where's Charlie?! Where?!

    EIGHT BALL'S FIGHTER breaks off and begins flying back towards the REPUBLIC FLEET, spraying fire in random directions

    ARTOO squeals like a TEENAGE GIRL at her first N'STYNK concert as five DROID TRICYCLE FIGHTERS pass on the right.

    MANAKIN: (shaking his fist as they fly by) don't you know, PASS on the LEFT?! Where'd you get your flying license?! The University of Bob?!

    OB-EWAN: Five more on the left!

    Four more DROID MULCHER FIGHTERS pass on the left, flashing their lights and honking. OB-EWAN and MANAKIN continue to fly in unison, ARTOO squeals again.

    MANAKIN: Here we go!!

    The JEDI STARFIGHTERS loop around the DROID TRICYCLE FIGHTERS, ending up behind them. The Jedi blast away, while the DROID TRICYCLE FIGHTERS erupt in massive pyrotechnic displays

    OB-EWAN: I'm going high and right!

    MANAKIN: Hang on, there are four more of them.

    OB-EWAN: Stay with me, Manakin! Swing back and right...

    MANAKIN: Come ON. Give it some juice, gramma!

    OB-EWAN: Ok, come on, and hurry. These droids are on me like Swamp Rot on one of the Hutt's dancing Twi-Leks!!

    --------

    So...am I doing good so far? :D BTW, if you can point out gaming references, you earn BONUS POINTS...what for, I've no clue, but hey...
     
  20. agentj

    agentj Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Dec 3, 2004
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Love the Tricycle Fighters and, of course, Ob-Ewan singing in his cockpit. But most of all I loved:

    ARTOO squeals like a TEENAGE GIRL at her first N'STYNK concert as five DROID TRICYCLE FIGHTERS pass on the right.

    MANAKIN: (shaking his fist as they fly by) don't you know, PASS on the LEFT?! Where'd you get your flying license?! The University of Bob?!

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]
     
  21. Darth_Revvin

    Darth_Revvin Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Jun 5, 2005
    Yeah...that was kinda difficult...making the banter between OB-EWAN and MANAKIN funny. The script is kinda lame in terms of giving help in that respect...so I went out on a limb...

    By the way--those BONUS GAME REFERENCE POINTS are still up for grabs. Dead giveaway (to the fact that I'm old. *LOL*)--the games referenced starred an actor who played a main character in the original saga...
    Oh, and Study: you'll be happy to know that I'm archiving this to a Word .doc from the beginning... :D
     
  22. study888

    study888 Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 16, 1999
    Darth_Revvin- Glad to have you on our side. :)

    I'm documenting this, as well as all the HVs too, on Wordpads. I have the original TPM Humorous thread in a couple of red notebooks, and the Special Edition in a binder.

    -study

     
  23. study888

    study888 Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 16, 1999
    In one incredible move. MANAKIN swings in behind the DROID TRICYCLE FIGHTERS, blasting the heck out of them one by one until there is only one left.

    ARTOO: Holy SH**!

    ARTOO lets out a HOWL as MANAKIN accelerates past the last TRICYCLE FIGHTER, slams on the brakes (since when is there friction in space?) , flips the fighter around, and BLASTS the living SNOT out of the Fighter in front. Meanwhile OB-EWAN yawns, drumming his fingers on his dashboard, watching his former apprentice act all macho. MANAKIN looks behind him.

    MANAKIN: How many more back there I need to give an a**whuppin to, Artoo? (Artoo beeps once) One....(Artoo Beeps again) Two...(Artoo Beeps a third time)...Three.....Any more? (Artoo beeps five more times rapidly) Uh oh! Very funny, Artoo.

    OB-EWAN: Manakin, you have eight on your tail!

    MANAKIN: Dude, my Artoo unit can count! Tell me something I don't know!

    OB-EWAN: Four more closing from your left.

    MANAKIN: Thanks a lot!

    OB-EWAN: Break right and go high.

    MANAKIN: I'm going low and left.

    OB-EWAN shakes his head, knowing from having read the script just how LOW and LEFT Manakin would be going in the future.


    OB-EWAN:(To himself) He still has much to learn.
     
  24. Miana Kenobi

    Miana Kenobi Admin Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Apr 5, 2000
    *giggles* Great to see you're still continuing this, Study. :)

    I shall watch this thread with great interest... :D
     
  25. maryaminx

    maryaminx Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2005
    ROFLMAO! (And if you know me, you know I never say that, so it must mean that this is pretty funny.)
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.