Revenge of the Sith Humorous Version-The Long Awaited Conclusion (SW and MCU SPOILERS!!!)

WARNING: THIS THREAD HAS SW AND Marvel Comics Universe Spoilers!!!!
THIS THREAD RATED PG-13 FOR LANGUAGE AND SOME SEX-RELATED HUMOR.
Title: Revenge of The Sith Humorous Version Conclusion.
Genre: Fantasy/Humor
Timeline: Same as RoTS
Subtitle: Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Sith
Characters: Manakin Streetwalker/Darth Vacuous, Patme Amadillydally, Ob-Ewan McNobi, Sheev Palpitatine/Darth Chin, Yoga, General Greedy, Count Doodu, Thanos, Jandor_Tarvin, Baily Smits, See-Stinky-O, R2-D2
Plot Synopsis: The conclusion of a Parody Script based upon the Script for Revenge of the Sith. Ob-Ewan McNobi and Darth Vacuous fight on Mustafarfaraway. Palpitatine and Yoga fight on Coruscam; Marcus and Lee are born and are taken to All-Drained and Patootie.
Authors: study3600, agentj, Darth_Revvin, the_jedi_princess, fistofthedarklord, uncle_watto, Ludo_Kressh, Jandor_Tarvin, Coric_Colje, Delalyra, Arius Valdayn, light-


Notes: This is round robin, meaning others can help write this. It is asked that before you jump in, that you read at least one other prequel era Humorous Version (Attack of the Clones HV is suggested because it's nearly complete) so you can get a feel for writing it. I was 16 when I caught onto Speak, Purp and Vac's vision and began contributing to this Master Work. Once III is completed, we can finish VI then VII. I look forward to seeing your comedic talent.-study3600.

The Phantom Menace Script:

https://imsdb.com/scripts/Star-Wars-Revenge-of-the-Sith.html

https://boards.theforce.net/threads/revenge-of-the-sith-humorous-version-spoilers.19980768/

PART I ^^^^

https://boards.theforce.net/threads...contd-add-on-spoilers.30602068/#post-57463254

PART 2^^^^


HERE IS PART 3 VVVV

EXT. UTAPOO-EDGE OF SINKHOLE-LATE DAY

OB-EWAN hides as two Clowntroops approach.

CLOWNTROOP 1: Did you find Ob-Ewan?

TROOP 2: Sir, no one could have survived that fall.

TROOP 1: Then you don't know Ob-Ewan McNobi. He's survived MUCH greater falls.

TROOP 2: Then let's keep searching.

OB-EWAN: (To himself) What's gotten into these troops? Why are they trying to kill me?

TROOP 2: Did you hear something, sir?

TROOP 1: That's just Ob-Ewan talking to himself again.

TROOP 2: Ok, let's keep searching.

OB-EWAN (Under his breath): Blooming idiots.

INT. MUSTAFARFARAWAY-MAIN CONTROL CENTER-DAY

A HOLOGRAM of DARTH CHIN is in the center of the room.

NEWT RAYGUN and the the rest of the Separatist Coalition, led by COUNT DOODU'S DISEMBODIED HEAD ON A SPIDER BODY, PRESERVED BY DARK SIDE ENERGY and the NIGHTSISTERS by DARTH BLUDGEON (not present), who convinced the Sisters to give DOODU another chance after he and GENERAL GREEDY attacked DINTY-MOORE during the CLOWN WARS, and THANOS, who now has ALL FIVE INFINITY STONES IN HIS GAUNTLET, watch CHIN.

NEWT: This plan has gone as you had promised, my Lord.

CHIN: You have done well, Velcro. When my new Apprentice, Darth Vacuous, arrives, he will wipe you out. Allll of you!

All the Separatists except DOODU and THANOS look at each other with fear and trepidation, sweating bullets, as all the exit doors slam shut and lock from the outside.

CHIN: You are all royally screwed.

The hologram disappears.

DOODU: Fear not, my friends. When this "Vacuous" arrives, we'll be ready for him.

A plot hole opens up above their conference table. Out of it falls GENERAL GREEDY, onto the top of the table.

DOODU: You're just in time....for a Battle Royale!

INT. CRUISER-COCKPIT

The Republic Cruiser heads toward Croissant. OB-EWAN, BAILY, YOGA, and TWO PILOTS sit in the COCKPIT.

PILOT: We are receiving a message from the Cameo's office, sir.

BAILY: Send it through.

PILOT: Yes, sir.

The PILOT pushes some buttons. MASS AMEDDA appears onscreen.

MAMMA MIA: Senator Smits.....The Supreme Cameo of The Republic requests your presence at a special session of Congress.

BAILY: Tell the Cameo I will be there.

MAMMA MIA: Very well. He will be expecting you.

MAMMA MIA'S image disappears from the screen.

BAILY: It could be a trap.

ADMIRAL FISHHEAD: It's a trap!

PRINCESS LEE: Marcus, Don't, It's a trap! It's a trap!

OB-EWAN: I don't think so. He probably wants to distribute free cans of peas. He did say there will be peas.

YOGA: If a special session of Congress there is, easier for us to enter the Jedi Temple it will be, and we will have all the peas we could ever eat. There will be plenty of peas to go around for all.

OB-EWAN'S stomach rumbles audibly.

OB-EWAN: Peas go good in tuna and noodles. Can I make tuna and noodles to go with our peas?

YOGA: That sounds like a plan.

EXT. MUSTAFARFARAWAY-SPACE

MANAKIN'S Jedi Starfighter heads for the hazy blood-red planet of Mustafarfaraway.

EXT. MUSTAFARFARAWAY-LANDING PLATFORM-DAY

MANAKIN lands. His cockpit opens as R2-D2 pops from the ship with a happy BEEP.

MANAKIN: Artoo, stay with the ship.

INT. MUSTAFARFARAWAY-CONTROL ROOM

The door opens and MANAKIN appears in the doorway.

GREEDY and DOODU IN UNISON: MANAKIN! You're Darth Vacuous?!?

MANAKIN'S power passes through the air to close the door. He ignites his brightsabre.

DOODU: GREEDY, attack!

MANAKIN: Finally a brightsabre duel between Manakin Streetwalker and General Greedy! Thanks, George, for never writing us one in your scripts! Thanks, study3600, for being kind enough to match us up in a duel like George never cared to and Dave Filoni couldn't!

study3600: Your welcome. Well, fight already! (Munches popcorn).

VACUOUS and GREEDY strike swords tit for tat masterfully, arm, arm, arm, two arms met by Manakin's blade at once, arm, three arms met at once, GREEDY starting to also wield a fifth sabre with one of his feet, plus his four arms, and still VACUOUS blocks each blow, but it is a stalemate, until DOODU joins in the fray with six sabres in addition to GREEDY'S five, and MANAKIN still fends off every blow and makes some counterblows of his own, lopping off two of DOODU'S MECHA-LEGS, and one of GREEDY'S ARMS, yet MANAKIN in the meantime has managed to impale NEWT through his throat out the back of his Nematodan skull, and slice and dice every other Seperatist leader except Thanos, who threatens MANAKIN with snapping his fingers if he comes anywhere near him, and MANAKIN turns every TINKER DRONE in the room into a scrap heap.

Manakin's power passes through the air to open the door as the three combatants and one threatening observer take the battle out of doors.

INT. CRESCENT ROLL-JEDI TEMPLE-MAIN ENTRANCE-LATE DAY

A DOZEN CLOWN TROOPERS stand guard at the entrance of the JEDI TEMPLE.

YOGA makes a sound like a Krayt Dragon and they all sceam and run off with their arms flailing in the air.

OB-EWAN: I'm going to have to use that trick someday....

YOGA: Dismantle the coded signal quickly so we can get our peas and make our noodle dish. I bought plenty of Chicken of the Sea Tuna and Helman's Mayonnaise-it's in my satchel!

OB-EWAN: I bought eight boxes of Barrilla elbow macaroni.

YOGA: Then let's go.

EXT. CROISSANT-WICH-SENATORIAL BUILDING-SUNSET

The ugly, blocky Senatorial hothouse building with concrete walls, a flat asphalt roof and no windows or ventilation looms over the city. The endless traffic continues to clutter the skyline.

(That's almost all the original material I wrote for the rest of this thread so far. Part I had to leave out due to 1)being mine but being too overly PG-13 rated for this forum and 2) I left out the parts that were in sequence but that were or contained unoriginal material. You guys can take it from here. To see the whole thing so far compiled and edited and all the scenes in order go to

www.maraandlukeforever.boards.net and go to either Humorous Versions or Movies and Shows)( I will add more scenes later. This movie is FAR from over.-study3600)

 

WARNING This post and thread rated PG-13 for some more adult humor.

INT CORNALSHANT-SENATORIAL CHAMBER-DAY

PALPITATINE: (Takes breath to fill lungs) Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears. The people of the earth will soon realize that Germany under National Socialism does not desire the enmity of other people. I want once again to be a prophet. If the international finance- Jewry inside and outside of Europe should succeed in plunging the people of the earth once again into a world war, Capitalism has neither the capacity nor the morality, nor the ethics to solve the problems of poverty. There is no heaven or hell. There is just us. Ours is the kingdom! The instruments of war do have a role to play in preserving the peace. And yet this truth must coexist with another- that no matter how justified, war promises human tragedy. Great ambition is the passion of great character. I am not afraid of an army of sheep with a lion in the lead, but of an army of lions with a sheep in the lead. I am that lion. I came. I saw. I conquered. So I am declaring myself Emperor of a Dynasty that shall endure for a Thousand years, for a safe and a secure society. There will be peas. He who would live must fight. He who doesn't wish to fight in this world, where permanent struggle is the law of life, has not the right to exist. Communism deprives no man of the power to appropriate the products of society: all that it does is to deprive him of the power to subjugate the labor of others by means of such appropriation.



Cheers and applause from the Proletariat



SC ___ SENATE CHAMBER-CORUSCANTY REX-SENATE BOX


PATME is Googling on her Smartphone.

.
PATME: (to her AIDES) Cool! I found over five references to various dictators in his speech! Oh, am I supposed to be lamenting about the death of liberty? Oh, boo hoo, this Republic was already going down the tubes anyway, this was just the next step.

SC ___ INT MUSTAFARFARAWAY-OUTSIDE MAIN CONTROL ROOM-DAY

As MANAKIN continues to fight DOODU and GREEDY, they pause so MANAKIN can lean back his head and administer yellowing eye drops to his eyes with an EYE DROPPER, and then he turns his head and we see his eyes are SITH YELLOW.

MANAKIN cuts two of GREEDY's sabres in HALF and cuts off YET ANOTHER of DOODU's spider legs, but they continue to make more than a match for VACUOUS.

SC ___ INT CORUSCANTILLY CLAD- SENATE CHAMBER-SUNSET, THOUGH WE CAN'T TELL

PALPITATINE: The war is over. The Separatists are defeated. The Jedi who betrayed us will be hunted down and destroyed.

RANDOM SENATOR: But the Jedi are the guardians of peace and ju---ack--ack.

He collapses.

PALPITATINE: (Waves hand) I didn't see that.

EVERYONE EXCEPT REBEL ALLIANCE MEMBERS: I DIDN'T SEE THAT!

PATME: (To herself) Bulls***!

SC ___ INT CORUSAPPED-TEMPLE OF DOOM-NIGHT

YOGA and OB-EWAN make their way through the Temple, killing HUNDREDS OF CLONES with GLEE, having a Clone-killin' good time. YOGA and OB-EWAN walk through the TEMPLE until they come across a note left for an unknown would-be assassin: See you on MUFASA. I'm going to help OB-EWAN kick your Sith A**, punk.-Jandor_Tarvin

OB-EWAN: Thank God the Younglings survived.

YOGA: But whom was this note left for?

SC ___ EXT MUSTAFARFARAWAY AKA MUFASA-NIGHT

As MANAKIN (AKA DARTH VACUOUS), DOODU and GREEDY continue to FIGHT furiously, they are interrupted by a WHOOSH as a large purple ship lands, and a MAN steps out of the open hatch. It is Jedi Master Jandor_Tarvin.


TARVIN: Oh, I see Ob-Ewan's not here yet. And I thought you two were dead. I'll get back in my ship and show up in the middle of the real fight. Toodles.

He gets back in his ship, and it takes off.

SC ___ INT COROSMART-TEMPLE OF DOOM-COMPUTER ROOM-NIGHT

OB-EWAN stands in a large computer area as YOGA looks on, in the hatchway to the Main Control Center.

OB-EWAN: I've hacked into the mainframe with Virus software and recalibrated the code telling every Jedi that it's safe to come back here and there is no danger, Master.

YOGA: A blooming idiotic buffoon, you are, Nawe-Bo! Supposed to tell them the opposite, you were.

OB-EWAN: Oops, Master. Well, it's irreversible now, so good luck with that. Where are those peas Palpitatine promised?

YOGA: A good question, that is. Hungry, I am. Noodles and tuna wait for no one, they do.

OB-EWAN: Well, we could always make it without the peas....

YOGA: (rolls eyes) To cook, where did you learn, Ob-Ewan?

SC ___ INT TEMPLE OF DOOM-CONTROL CENTER-NIGHT

OB-EWAN enters the Main Control Center with YOGA and heads for the hologram area.

YOGA: If into the security recordings you go, find our missing peas, you may. Also who our mysterious assassin is, you may find out.

OB-EWAN: Good idea, Master.

OB-EWAN uses a SCREWDRIVER to remove a PANEL, then flips some SWITCHES. He sees a HOLOGRAM of MANAKIN STREETWALKER finding the note and saying "Oh, no, my Master is going to kill me."

OB-EWAN: It can't be---there were never any peas at all! Our tuna and noodles are going to be bland.

YOGA: More importantly, young Streetwalker, to the Dark Side turned, has he. I can buy some peas at Aldi's, no worries.

In the HOLOGRAM, a DARK-ROBED SITH LORD enters. He b****-slaps MANAKIN to the floor and screams at him "Why the hell are the Younglings still ALIVE you idiot!"
In reply, MANAKIN says: "Sorry, Master, I tried", to which the Dark Lord replies "Why do I have the feeling you're going to be the death of me?" then MANAKIN says "Master Snidious, you're my father. I would never dream of killing you," which enrages the SITH LORD, who says "That's DARTH CHIN to you, boy! Now, Lord Vacuous, go bring peas to the Empire".

OB-EWAN watches in horror. His stomach rumbles.

OB-EWAN: That brat! He's not saving any peas for us! I'll show him!

OB-EWAN switches off the hologram. The TWO JEDI stand in silence for a few moments.

YOGA: Destroy the Sith, we MUST! (He emphasizes MUST by pounding his cane onto the floor.)......After we go to Aldi's then make our food. Past suppertime, it is.

OB-EWAN: Send me to kill Manakin. I'm gonna kill that little punk!

YOGA: Yes, and destroy the Emperor, I will. Only I possess enough strength to put that a**h*** in an early grave.

OB-EWAN: I'll head to Mufasa right after we eat, but first I need to visit.....someone. May the Force be with you, Master Yoga.

SC ___ INT COURTTVONTONIGHT-PATME'S APARTMENT-NIGHT

A WASHINGTON-DC0052 Intergalactic Planetary Planetary Intergalactic Another Dimension Speeder pulls up to the veranda landing of PATME's APARTMENT.

SC ___ EXT CORVETTEANT-PATME'S APARTMENT-VERANDA-NIGHT

The cockpit of the sleek yellow Galactic Speeder opens, and a HOODED FIGURE emerges and walks onto the VERANDA. An ALARM GOES OFF deep in the Apartment.
The FIGURE stops before a security curtain that protects the veranda and approaches the FIGURE.

SEE-STINKY-O: Hello, might I help you. . .Oh, it's you, Master McNobi. Come in, quickly.

The security curtain disappears, and the FIGURE lifts his HOOD. It is OB-EWAN. The alarms stop sounding.

OB-EWAN and PATME run into each other's arms, embrace and kiss PASSIONATELY. He puts his hand on her STOMACH.

OB-EWAN: It's TWINS! And they're kicking! I'm going to be a father again soon!

PATME suddenly slaps him across the face twice.

Whack
Whack

PATME: Whaddya mean, again?!

OB-EWAN: Oh, you know, there was that thing with Duchess Satine the Sparkling Diamond, and for a few days with her sister Bo-Katana Crazy. But those were just flings, darling. You're the only one for me!

PATME: Oh, Ob-Ewan, always the ladies' man. Oh, kiss me, you fool! And STINKY-O!

STINKY-O: Yes, Mistress Patme?

PATME: Turn off your audio and visual sensors.

STINKY-O: (Sighs heavily) As you wish, M'Lady.

4 HOURS LATER

OB-EWAN and PATME lay in bed together, OB-EWAN smoking a CIGARETTE.

OB-EWAN: So let me get this straight, you knew that Manakin had turned to the Dark Side before me? And you didn't contact me?

PATME: I was busy in the Senate, and had to maintain radio silence lest the Empire found out I knew. You know, dear that if I could have found a way to tell you, youd've been the first to know.

OB-EWAN: Then you know why we have to go to Mufasa. You can try talking some sense into him while I'm busy strangling him to death.

PATME: You can't kill him. I'm going to Mustafarfaraway alone. As soon as I get my clothes back on.


SC ___ EXT MUFASA-NIGHT


The ENDLESS EPIC BATTLE rages on. The SCORE is heavy with tracks by The Misfits and Nirvana. Manakin tries bringing a WALL OF LAVA down on COUNT DOODU but he counters with a push back that sends all the lava back into the river.

GENERAL GREEDY tries attacking MANAKIN from behind while MANAKIN is distracted but MANAKIN parries each below behind him with ease because he's cool like that.

SC ___ EXT CORUNNA-LANDING PLATFORM-NIGHT

A NuhBOO Starship rests on a landing platform in the vast congestion of Coruscatter. PATME gets out of her SPEEDER, followed by CAPTAIN TYPHOON and STINKY-O.

CAPTAIN TYPHOON: My Lady, let me come with you.

PATME: Look, pal. Why are you still alive even? You were supposed to have been killed off in Attack of The Clones Humorous Version! What gives? Oh! (She grins wickedly) There was no danger at all. We made it.

TYPHOON explodes.

PATME boards the ship. A shadow moves out from under the ship.


SC ___ INT NuhBOO STARCRUISER

OB-EWAN hides himself in the refrigeration closet and USES THE FORCE to close the door, stowing away.

SC ____ EXT SPACE


The NuhBOO CRUISER comes out of HYPERSPACE right in the MIDDLE of a HUGE SPACE BATTLE. The CLONE WARS are STILL GOING ON.

study3600: Sorry, M'Lady, I forgot to have your husband shut the Droid Armies down. This may be going on for a long time yet.

PATME: It's ok, I'm used to it by now.


She jumps back into HYPERSPACE.

SC ___ EXT SPACE

The Ex-Queen's Ship approaches Mufasa.

SC ___ INT NuhBOO STARSHIP

As Creepio-er-STINKY-O sings 'It's Baby baby Time' , PATME breaks down in tears, the painful reality setting in.

SC ___ EXT MUSTAFARFARAWAY-NIGHT

The FIGHTING is once again INTERRUPTED by the arrival of PATME's SHIP. It lands next to MANAKIN's PUKEY GREEN STARFIGHTER.

Elated, MANAKIN runs up to the ship as the ramp lowers. PATME runs up to him.

MANAKIN: Patme, I saw your ship. . .

They embrace

PATME: Oh, Manakin!

MANAKIN: It's all right, you're safe now. What are you doing out here?

PATME: When we were making love on Coruscant earlier today, I could sense the Dark Side in you. You didn't fool me when you denied trying to slaughter Younglings! I'm here to bring you back to the light before it's too late! Ob-Ewan-

MANAKIN: I don't want to hear about Ob-Ewan. He turned against me. Don't you turn against me! We can make things how we want them to be. I can slay the Emperor and we can rule together as King and Queen of the Universe!

PATME: Manakin, all I want is your love!

MANAKIN: Love won't save you, Patme! Only Muffins can.

PATME: What the hell? Come away with me to NuhBOO. We can raise our children in the lake country.

MANAKIN: Don't you see, we don't have to run away anymore. I have brought peas to the Republic. Want some? They're good in casseroles. I can make Muffins and casseroles for us and our children. We'll never go hungry again. Raisin muffins!

PATME: I don't believe what I'm hearing. . .Ob-Ewan was right. You've changed. I don't know you anymore. Manakin, you're breaking my heart. I'll never stop loving you, but you are going down a path I can't follow.

MANAKIN: Because of Ob-Ewan?

PATME: Because of what you've done. . .what you plan to do. Stop, stop now. Come back! I love you.

MANAKIN: (Seeing OB-EWAN) Liar!

PATME turns around and sees OB-EWAN standing in the doorway of the NuhBOO Cruiser, a frozen POPSICLE of a MAN, TEETH chattering.

PATME: No!

MANAKIN: You're with him! You were cheating all along! You've betrayed me!

PATME: NO! Manakin. I swear ... I ...

MANAKIN reaches out, and PATME grabs her throat as she starts to choke.

OB-EWAN: Let her GO, Manakin.

MANAKIN: What have you and she been up to?

OB-EWAN: Let her GO! I'm frozen, hey, let's cue a song!

'Frozen' music starts up.

MANAKIN: (Singing as he continues to choke PATME) The fire glows bright on this planet tonight, not a blade of grass to be seen.

A galaxy gripped in turmoil, and I'm choking the Ex-Queen.

The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside.

Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I've tried.

MANAKIN: (CONT'D) (Singing) You'll never take
Her on a date,
Ob-Ewan said it wouldn't be so great.

Conceal, don't feel, your feelings for

That girl.

PATME: (Singing and gasping for air): Let me go.
Let me go. You're choking me to death.

Let me go.
Let me go.

I'm losing all my breath.

OB-EWAN: (Singing) Can't you see

What your love for power has done!

You're your worst enemy!

MANAKIN: My power passes through the air to choke my wife.

The woman lied to me that I have loved for my whole life.

She's likely sleeping with my Master every night!

I'm going to kill this girl! Then you and me, we gonna fight!



Meanwhile, THANOS is snapping his fingers to the music. First ONE HALF of the UNIVERSE's PEOPLE disappear, then the OTHER HALF, then ONE HALF COMES BACK, then THE NEXT. When OBI-WAN reappears, he is THAWED again.

DOODU: Cut that **** out, you damned fool!

THANOS: Oh, sorry. Do continue your song, please. It's rather lovely.


OB-EWAN: (Singing) You need to let her go and face me like a man!


MANAKIN: (Singing) (Drops PATME) Ok, she's on the ground! Come kill me if you can!


MICHAEL BUFFER walks in between MANAKIN and OB-EWAN.


BUFFER: Ladies and gentlemen. LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!

(Ok, I've posted ALL my original material that I could. Now it's your turn! The Revenge of the Sith HV is nearing completion! Let's see what y'all can do! Let's make the rest of this End battle EPIC-study3600 (AKA Brent Koivopolo V)

 

To fill in a gap:
If Arius Valdayn registers for tf.n he will post his original material after my short snippet of original material, here:
My contributon: Right after 'Hello There.', above, on Utapoo scene.
Arius Valdayn: I am deeply sorry, didn't look good enough, this is your line. I don't claim I wrote this.
(story/)GENERAL GREEDY: General Kenobi, you are a bold one. I find your behavior bewildering . . . Surely you realize that outift is doomed, (to droids) Kill him!
(/story)
study888 (me) wrote the following line.
(story/)Ob-Ewan gestures with a finger and some large bulkheads begin to come down towards the chef droids.(/story)

Arius' contribution, just after the above, which I wrote, will conclude just before the Clones arrive on Utapoo.

And now, Arius, if you see this, take it from here, then we the final duel between Ob-Ewan, Manakin and the others will eventually be written.

Oh darn. I accidentally posted a snippet of Arius' material just before my bridge to what he might post. But oh darn it was an accident and oh darn oh darn please it was an accident I didn't even change it. I posted it just the same way Arius wrote it and he gave me permission to use the parody names beforehand. I really thought I was posting my stuff but our two posts were so integrated I thought I was separating them have mercy I BEG

Arius joined because I asked him to. Ask him, it IS his material. He will verify it. He will tell you. It's not just a claim. Arius Valdayn is now a member of theforce.net I really thought I was posting only my stuff.

His was: GENERAL GREEDY: General Kenobi, you are a bold one. I find your behavior bewildering . . . Surely you realize that outift is doomed, (to droids) Kill him!

I accidentally got that mixed up with my part which was:

Ob-Ewan gestures with a finger and some large bulkheads begin to come down towards the chef droids.

The two parts were so closely tied and so integrated that I accidentally thought I was posting only mine when I was posting both of ours, but his main part comes next.

You can ask him yourself.
I'm so sorrryyy.

It was all my fault.

Please have mercy on me.

It was an accident.

Completely accidental.

Sent from my SM-G990U using Tapatalk

You have to realize I try SO hard not to get banned, to follow the rules to the letter, to walk on eggshells.

This was a complete mistake what happened here. I tried to do it the correct way but I accidentally broke your rule. Please forgive me and don't ban me. Please Please PLEASE!

I tried! I tried! I tried!
It was an accident!

Have mercy!

Please!

In my defense, it was not plaigiarism at all because

1) I did not alter it except where he gave me permission to
2) I had his permission to post it on tf.n
and 3) it was completely accidental.

Yes it was my fault but I really tried extra hard to keep my nose clean this time.

I even went out of my way to avoid posting a comment in a post by itself, and even posted a brand new original part of this scene to fill in another gap between what I posted above and Arius' next contribution, to prove to you that I am still seeking to 100% follow the rules.

And also once I realized my mistake, I quickly told you what was Arius' material and what was mine, and then took out the line 'that was all 100% original material', and then made it CLEAR whose was whose so there is NO confusion.

 

The CHEF DROIDS all step back and out of the way and OB-EWAN kills all of them after five minutes of swashbuckling action.

(Just a reminder to all that this is a collaboration work and anyone can just jump in at any time or if you want to plan or stake out scenes you may ask to be added to our group pm for such.)

 

Okay, without further Apu about Stuffing, I'm about to continue this from where I left off. Hopefully someone can step in and collaborate with us later on, or soon.
~study


OB-EWAN: You have allowed this Dark Lord to twist your mind until you have become the very thing you swore to destroy!

They circle each other until Ob-Ewan is near Patme. He checks her PULSE.

MANAKIN: Not another lecture, Ob-Ewan! You're not my Master or my Brother anymore. I see through the lies of the Jedi.

OB-EWAN: What lies??

MANAKIN: That Grand Masters and Masters only have councils every Tuesday, Wednsday and Friday. That Yoga never used to be a drunk. That Master Windy hates donuts. That Master Ki-Adi Money Money never bets on Fathier Races on Can't Tonight and that he only sleeps with one of his wives. That light purple is really pink. That there are no such things as flying pigs.

OB-EWAN: Actually, that, that last one is true. Those Rylothian pigs just jump really high and far.

MANAKIN: I have brought peas, justice, freedom and security to my new Empire!

OB-EWAN: Your new Empire?!

MANAKIN: Don't make me kill your a**.

OB-EWAN: Manakin, my allegiance is to the Republic, to Democracy!

MANAKIN: If you're not with me, your with my enemies.

OB-EWAN: Only a Sith Lord deals in absolutes.

MANAKIN: Isn't that an absolute? Are you a Sith Lord?

OB-EWAN: Yeah, call me Darth I'm-Kicking-Your-A**. (Ignites his brightsabre)

MANAKIN: You will try.

Manakin ignites his brightsabre.

Ob-Ewan throws off his outer cloak.

Just a reminder that this is a Round Robin and anyone can ask to be added to our group HV planning pm or just jump right in and write part of the story at any time. Remember it is in Script format because that is the way Speak started to write it in 1999, in present tense.

Edit - the original line I wrote was They throw off their outer cloaks. Their cloaks immediately burn to a crisp upon contacting the hot ash of Mustafarfaraway. But it makes no practical sense, not even for humor. For one, Anakin had already been fighting for some time and two they were on the landing platform, not directly on the planet's surface so there was no potential, even hyperbolic potential, of Ob-Ewan's cloak burning up upon contact with the ground.

 

MANAKIN lashes out at OB-EWAN, and they begin to fight. Although it's only in the Script and not the film, Anakin suddenly begins throwing CONTAINERS at OB-EWAN using the Schwartz.

There is no mention in the Script about how OB-EWAN responds to this container atttack however, but we'll say he had a tough time handling it. These projectiles struck him in the face three times because we know OB-EWAN can take a hit well.

They work their way off the LANDING PLATFORM and into the main entry hallway. MANAKIN kicks-

WEEEEOOOOSH

JANDOR_TARVIN's ship lands. The gangway ramp lowers. JANDOR TARVIN steps out.

TARVIN: Where's Thanos, Doodu and Greedy? Wouldn't be much of an a** kickin party without 'em.

MANAKIN: study3600 (888 now) doesn't know. He was too busy introducing Ob-Ewan and starting our fight, he lost track of them.

study888: Oh, right. (Types on Typewriter)

SUDDENLY Thanos, General Greedy and COUNT DOODU with his spider arms and lege and sabers, phase back into existence.

study888: My apologies, folks. It's a lot to keep track of.

OB-EWAN: Count Doodu? General Greedy? I thought you two were gone!

LUKE SKYWALKER: No one's ever really gone.

DANCE PARTY MUSIC starts up as the combatants start circling each other. OB-EWAN and TARVIN (who has an Emerald Green Brightsabre and long flowing black robes, and a jetpack/rocketpack/repulsor pack combo) against MANAKIN, and MANAKIN and OB-EWAN, and TARVIN against GREEDY and DOODU. R2-D2 enters the fray, dumping oil on Doodu and frying him with his rocket boosters.

Exeunt DOODU

R2: Beep Doodle Beep Doodle (Translation: Just wanted to make this a little less complicated. Now, fight it out, boys.)

Exeunt R2-D2, Stage Right.

MANAKIN keeps hurling containers and boxes at OB-EWAN which continue to hit him right in the face. OB-EWAN slips on a banana peel and falls. (How did that get there?)


OB-EWAN: I HATE YOU BANANA PEEL!!!!

Ob-Ewan gets up, dusts himself off. Manakin goes in for the kill. OB-EWAN finds himself fending off both Greedy and MANAKIN at the same time. Just when all their blades are about to go for OB-EWAN's NECK, JANDOR_TARVIN's brilliant green blade intervenes.

TARVIN: I don't think so!

TARVIN puts his other blade, also emerald, which he had up until now concealed, right through GREEDY's heart.

Exeunt GREEDY.

OB-EWAN: Now it's just us four.

TARVIN spins left and strikes off THANOS' head before he can snap his self-righteous fingers again.

TARVIN: Make that three. Oh, poo. Now we have to switch it to Yoga and Sid's inferior fight scene.

DIAGONAL WIPE

SC ___ INT CORRIDOR - SENATE ARENA-CAMEO'S HOLDING OFFICE

YOGA enters, using the Force to throw two RED GUARDS against the wall after TWIRLING THEM IN THE AIR A FEW TIMES to show off his superior Force skills. DARTH SIDIOUS turns his chair a little too far to the left, then adjusts it back right so it's perfectly facing the Little Green Man. MASS AMEDDA stands behind SID's DESK.

YOGA: I hear a new apprentice you have, Umperor, or should I call you, Darth Chin?

CHIN: Master Yoga, you survived. How utterly predictable. Your arrogance blinds you. Now you will experience the full power of the Dark Side!

Suddenly LEGO Force Lightning extends out of both fingertips, which stops halfway across the room frozen in plastic.

YOGA: (Laughs out loud, grins) The Dark Side of what, you're a**?

YOGA's laughter is cut short when the REAL Sith Lightning comes, catching him off guard. He is thrown across the room, slinding down in a crumpled heap. DARTH CHIN chuckles.

SC ___ EXT MUSTAFARFARAWAY-PASSAGES TO MAIN CONTROL CENTER-DAY (WHAT? LOOKS LIKE NIGHT TO ME!)

Manakin, Tarvin and Ob-Ewan duke it out, moving toward the main control center. While Tarvin and Manakin fight, OB_EWAN looks in the Jedi Book for new tricks he and Tarvin can use against MANAKIN. Then They both try to force Push each other at the same time (really smart.) Since every action has an equal and opposite reaction, both Manakin and OB-E fly apart in opposite directions. Tarvin just looks on in bewilderment shaking his head at the two dumb Jedi.

SC ___ EXT MUSTAFARFARAWAY- LANDING PLATFORM-NuhBOO CRUISER-DAY

R2-D2 tries to drag PATME on board the NuhBOO Cruiser. See-Stinky-O pokes his head out of the ship's doorway.

STINKY-O: What are you doing? You're going to hurt her.

R2: She doesn't seem to mind.

STINKY-O: That's because she's unconscious you nearsighted trash receptacle! Now wait!

Stinkio starts down the ramp.

SC ____ INT CORRIDOR - SENATE ARENA - CAMEO'S OFFICE - IF YOU NEED TO BE REMINDED WE ARE BACK ON CORUSCANT THEN YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVEN'T BEEN PAYING ATTENTION

MASS AMEDDA leaves the room. PALPITATINE approaches a stunned YOGA.

PALPITATINE: I have been waiting a long time for this, my little green friend.

YOGA: Time for what?

Palpitatine leans down and gives YOGA a big wet sloppy kiss on the lips.

Yoga leaps to his feet, wiping off his mouth, gakking and spitting.

YOGA: You are so dead!

CHIN: At last the Jedi are no more!

YOGA: Not if anything to say about it I have.

Yoga uses a huge FORCE PUSH to throw CHIN back in to a chair, which falls over backwards, with rather comedic effect.

YOGA: At an end your reign is, and not short enough it was.

CHIN gets up and runs toward the door, and YOGA stops him.

YOGA: If so powerful you are, why leave?

CHIN: Your arrogance blinds you.

YOGA: Been through this we have. Let's settle this with sabres.

CHIN: You will not stop me. Then we wouldn't have an OG Trilogy or a Sequel Trilogy or Rebels or the list could go on.

YOGA: Keep the plot moving we must. No where can this movie go without our duel. Plus the audience would really like to see us hurling Senate pods at each other.

CHIN: Good point! Let's fight!

Their swords CLASH. The battle is extremely fast and furious, and Fast and Furious 2, 3 and all the succeeding sequels.

Just a little reminder that this is a Round Robin (as is most every Humorous Version with few exceptions) and I'm hoping someone can step in and take over from here. We've come so far. Let's finish this thing! (I'm REALLY looking forward to seeing what y'all do with the Immolation scene. May The Force Be With you All -Brent Sohlden 12:10 AM CDT 12/15/2023 AD/CE

 

SC ___ INT UTAH-KAPOW - GREEDY'S SECRET BASE GREAT HALL - DAY - AFTER "HELLO THERE"

GREEDY: Back away!

The CHEF DROIDS do not back away.

GREEDY: Do as I say, overgrown fax machines!

He pulls off his cape, and suddenly has a long, grey beard, akin to Gandalf the Grey.

GREEDY: This foe is beyond any of you. RUN!

The CHEF DROIDS finally back away. Camera cuts to OB-EWAN, who briefly resembles a Balrog of Morgoth. OB-EWAN kills all the CHEF DROIDS after five minutes of swashbuckling action.

OB-EWAN: Your move.

Camera cuts to GREEDY, who has placed a chess set on a folding table in front of himself.

GREEDY: You fool! I have been trained in your gaming arts by Magnus Carlsen.

He moves a pawn forward. OB-EWAN approaches and moves a pawn forward on the other side. They play for several turns, then OB-EWAN checkmates him within ten moves. GREEDY, frustrated, flips the whole table.

GREEDY: Jedi slime!

GREEDY'S voice becomes a poor recording of DOODU.

GREEDY: It is obvious that this contest cannot be decided by our knowledge of the Boards... but by our skills with a brightsabre.

They begin to duel similarly to sport fencers, GREEDY holding a single saber with all four of his hands simultaneously.